


Druid Acceptance

by Lessa



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Dragonlords, Interfering Spirits, Magical Creatures, Old Religion, Spirits, Unicorns, accidental magic, emrys - Freeform, young Merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-07-15 13:55:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 96,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16064507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lessa/pseuds/Lessa
Summary: Hunith doesn't break Emrys





	1. Chapter 1

Nimue was preparing herself for the Imbolc rituals when she felt a shift in the Magic. Tiny. Yet impossible to miss for even the least sensitive, as though the whole of nature was holding its breath. She suppressed the shiver that ran down her spine, she could not afford to be distracted now. The wind chill vanished as the breeze itself ceased, the stillness around her near complete. Once she would have rushed to her  scrying bowl, but with Uther’s death squads roaming freely, she had to remain focused, every festival, every sacred occasion, there was a greater danger to her people. If she spent the rest of her life trying to atone for her part of events she would never wash the blood of her friends from her hands.

 

On the other side of Camelot, just over the border in Essetir, a woman laboured and cried out to the goddess, accompanied only by one woman whose own son she had safely delivered not long ago.

Hunith breathed deeply, rocking her hips, head dropping to her friends shoulder, tears disguised by the sweat that slid down her body. _He_ should be here with her, and instead she had no idea where he was, Balinor didn’t even know he had fathered a child. _Her_ child. She could feel how close she was to meeting him. She remembered that much, a dragonlord’s firstborn would always be male, her hand went to the necklace he had given her when they were handfasted.

That was one mercy at least, with her bearing a Beltane baby after handfasting the community would accept him enough to share food, at least in years without famine

If she had not been locked into that sacred state of all birthing women she might have noticed the blanching of her friend when she looked out of the hut door, intending to fetch more water to boil. Might have asked why she decided not to leave the house.

She could never have guessed the cause as the spirits of the murdered Dragon Lords gathered around the tiny hut, taking a defensive stance with swords drawn, protecting those within. Invisible until one got close enough to pose a threat to their last heir and his mother, but as real a threat as they ever had been in life, and abroad when they should be locked behind the veil. They seemed at ease and on guard for now.  

Hunith’s friend daren’t mention it to her lest it cause her to panic and obstruct her baby’s safe arrival. Birth was dangerous enough for women like them.

Despite her fears, it was just before midnight that Hunith finally delivered a tiny, squalling boy, with a shock of thick, dark hair, smaller than most but with good lungs, and eyes that made her heart constrict.

Instead of the standard dark blue of most babies in their village his burned golden, and her joy was shot through with agony. She held him close and put him to the breast before her friend could notice, she hoped.

The tears that slid down her cheeks could almost be attributed to elation and relief.

If she had any sense she would smother him in his swaddling, and claim a tragedy.

Ealdor might not be in Camelot, but it hadn’t stopped Uther crossing the border in pursuit of her

Balinor.

She gazed down at the babe she had borne and knew in that moment that she could never do it, she would protect her precious child with her last breath. She would teach him how to run, to lie,  how to fly silently through a forest. A tiny hand grabbed her finger, banishing any doubt. Her little dark one would need a name. Not a family one she decided, nothing traceable, nothing to link him to his heritage unless…

Hunith smiled, he would never settle in one place, and she would give him wings, her Merlin.

 

Despite the chill, and the food reserves being stretched at this time of year Merlin thrived.

When unusual things would happen in their home William’s mother would carefully not notice, and Hunith swiftly grew skilled in hiding such things. When she had to work in the fields Hunith carried her son like any other baby, always hoping that he wasn’t trailing enough magic to aid her own crops noticeably. He began to babble, as all babies do, and yet even she could hear

that it sounded different to the others, as though he was learning a different language, but it surely wasn’t obvious. When he discovered how to ‘fetch’ things with magic Hunith stopped taking him out unless it was absolutely necessary, she stopped allowing anyone else to watch him as the risk was just too high.

It was at these times that she felt anger at Balinor’s absence. She carried the burden alone, and having no magic of her own was unable to help Merlin the way she wanted to, instead always having to teach him not to use, never to tell, not to let anyone see, and Merlin tried. Such a sweet child, but he always wanted to help, and the magic simply spilled from him, like when the wood was too wet to light, and no-one had heat, and when he grew too fast and there was not coin for new clothes. It was hard not to notice that a shirt he had outgrown visibly suddenly fitted again when he caught his mother trying to work out how much of her own skirt she could afford to lose.

The final straw though was the witchfinder who came through the village when Merlin was three winters old, the purge was in full swing then, and Hunith was sure the only thing that kept the villagers mouths shut about her son was that news travelled ahead of the brutal man- _including_ the fact that he razed to the ground any settlement found to harbour magic, killing anyone who had taken sup with the ‘criminal’

Merlin was hidden deep in the caves, in a place Hunith had prepared before he was a year old, in case they had to run.

Will’s mother came to her the night they finally left, once the boys were sleeping quietly in their bed.

She knew that it was the last time she would see the woman she considered her closest friend.

“I’m sorry Hunith, but that was too close. He was in every home, they even checked the food stores. There’s something very strange about Merlin, and I ain’t gonna tell anyone, don’cha worry ‘bout that, but if it comes down to between Will and Merlin…” She trailed off, voice breaking. Hunith hated that she understood.

“I’m sorry,  so sorry. Just… find somewhere safe. For both of you. I swear I won’t tell anyone, _not ever_ , but there’s...there were one or two in the village thinkin’ different.” She reached out

and placed her hands firmly on Hunith’s shoulders. “I love you, but you need to run, and you need to run fast.” She drew her friend into an embrace and with lips next to her ear almost breathed the words to not be overheard, “Your son.. I never told you, you were already so scared, he’s protected. Right from the start there’s been someone watching over him. I don’t think they plan to stop now.”

Hunith forced herself to release the other woman. Drawing her hand quickly across her face to brush away tears that threatened.

“Well, best get busy then, if I have an early start tomorrow. The crops are already sown, you look after them and the fruit is yours. That William’s a growing boy. I’ll miss that rascal.” She glanced down, “Thank you Edith, for the warning, and the hope. Go now, you will always be a sister to me, however far we run.”

 

The dawnsong was strange to Hunith, in that it sounded exactly like every other day, and she knew that this was _not_ any other day. She had packed her meagre possessions efficiently during the night, got travelling food ready, taking only what they would need, though there was not much left over, and leaving the sleeping mats and dishes. It looked just enough as though she expected to be coming back that the less suspicious might believe she and Merlin had been attacked in the woods, or captured by the witch-hunters. Safer to be believed dead than searched for.

Merlin woke with the first light spilling over the horizon, as he always had. Sleep apparently was optional for her son. She was glad of his infectious smile, and tried not to betray her tension to the perceptive little boy as they ate their last breakfast in Ealdor.

preparations in, when she reached it however she was met with an unpleasant surprise. Nothing of her provisions remained, there was evidence of a fire and ashes where blankets and cloaks ought to be, and the stored food was gone. Pushing the impulse to cry away hard as she felt thin arms around her legs, Hunith silently thanked the Mother for her friend’s warning. Only those local to Ealdor knew the tunnels they used for shelter from brigands and Cenred’s men, someone they knew had tried to sabotage her, someone who knew how hard it was to buy new blankets and furs, who knew true hunger. It was a declaration. An act that threatened their survival without remorse. Someone who she had lived alongside and broken bread with wished them dead, and she would never know which one. It solidified her decision to run and not look back.

Too young to understand the implications, Merlin wanted to explore the caverns, he was always happiest surrounded by nature, as though a slumbering part of him came alive. Sometimes Hunith wondered if he wasn’t more like the faye than the serfs in their little village.

Managing to calm him enough to sit still, in the shadow of a tall elm tree Hunith handed him a little of the bread she had brought knowing they couldn’t afford to stop for long, especially when someone so clearly wished them ill.

She took none for herself, uncertain how long it would be before there would be more, and was reaching towards Merlin when a shadow fell across them and her hand went instead to her belt knife as she stood, expecting to be met with either bandit or witchfinder, shocked when instead she saw the figure of a druid, holding his hands out, palm up in a gesture of peace.

“You shouldn’t be here, friend. Uther’s men are too close.”

The druid’s lips quirked upwards. “Greeting Hunith, mother of Merlin, it is an honour to meet you both. We are safe now, but they are indeed close, and we cannot afford to linger. I have been waiting for you both, our Elder Saw your need. Come. Let me show you to our camp. It is heavily warded, and your questions can wait until he is safe.”

Nodding, Hunith gathered her son to her side and signed to him that they must be quiet and follow the druid. Merlin put his finger to his lips and grinned, skipping ahead to grab the druid’s hand. Mother said to follow him, and Mother never let him do dangerous things, so the new man must be safe.

The sun was setting as they reached the edge of the camp, and Isildur had carried Merlin the last hour of the way their druid guide had covered their trail with a little magic, though he tried to use a minimum to avoid drawing unwanted attention to them. Some death squads had traitors working with them for coin, and it was risky, but a boy 3 winters old could not move silently or carefully for long.

Merlin, who had been dozing against Isildur’s shoulder immediately perked up as he caught the scent of stew over the fire, and looked over to his mother questioningly, receiving a nod, knowing how quickly food could vanish he scrambled down and over to the hearth, though Hunith was relieved to see him minding his manners. She didn’t particularly want to have to apologise to a matriarch within the first ten minutes of their being there, especially without knowing how long they were welcome for. She was not born a druid, and Merlin certainly wasn’t either. Perhaps they could teach him to hide his magic though.

Isildur turned and faced her, looking serious.

“No. No, we will not teach him to hide it. That teaches him only to live in fear of himself, to believe the lies that he is a monster, unnatural. In trying to protect the boy you would break him. What we will teach him _gladly_ , and delight in aiding, is control of his power. To master it so it does not master him, to be confident in his goodness and humanity. The abilities Merlin has… well, you already know that he is special, but I do not believe you understand just how rare. I know his father, Hunith. Who he is. _What_ he is. And what he will one day bequeath Merlin. You know what he will inherit. Merlin is a creature of the old religion.” Hunith began to hyperventilate, maybe this was a mistake after all, her son was not some _creature,_ a wild thing to be tamed _._

Isildur sighed, drawing into a large tent, allowing the door to fall closed. “You misunderstand me My Lady. Merlin is _not_ some animal, but his soul and his essence are linked to his kin deeply. He is a Warlock, Hunith, and his magic is not merely a toy, he cannot pick it up, put it away, shut it inside himself. It is his life force in the same way that the dragons live by magic. You would not deny that they have sentience or emotions simply because of what they are, or accuse the High Priests and Priestesses of abandoning their humanity by becoming a part of it. If you cannot accept it in your son then he will never accept it in himself, and that fear of himself and rejection will damn us all. We do not tell you this in order to frighten you, but because we believe you are strong enough to love all of him _and_ to endure. The goddess would not have chosen you otherwise. We are not offering to raise your son. That is _your_ destiny and yours alone. What we offer is protection, and shelter, and an education that he _needs_ desperately. My Lady, we wish

only to help. It is your choice to make, but if you reject teaching him what it is that he sees and lives, he will one day tear apart the fabric of reality trying to hold it together. Many have Seen this. Deny him the understanding he needs and he will unmake the world without even realising he’s doing it. Help him, and he won’t only be a _good_ man. He will be a _free_ man, loved in truth.”

Hunith’s head spun. How could her son be all that this druid said? Surely if Dragonlords weren’t human she would have known, Balinor would have told her- or maybe he wouldn’t. He left to protect her after all, did he think he was protecting her by his silence?  Hiding hadn’t protected her, delaying telling him of her pregnancy hadn’t protected them. How much freedom had Merlin truly known yet, when every time he was frightened something exploded or burst into flames?

It was too much, her head was spinning, and she hadn’t slept for more than a few hours in a week, had barely eaten with the threat of scarcity hanging over her as surely as their hunters.

Hunith sank to her knees as her vision became patchy and suddenly there was an old woman, tiny, and armed with a walking stick standing in front of her and scolding Isildur as though he was a miscalctrant child, until he dipped his head, looking shamefacedly at Hunith and mumbling an apology to both woman as he left, following the old woman’s gesturing to the opening.

The crone knelt down beside Hunith and proferred an aromatic tea which Hunith recognised as a restorative, and accepted with a rueful smile, calming a little as she heard Merlin’s muted giggles from the small fire outside.

“Bloody men. Idiots, the lot of them.” Merlin’s mother smiled as she heard the fondness mix with

Merlin’s mother smiled as she heard the fondness mix with exasperation. She knew exactly how that felt.

“Can’t say I disagree there.”

The druidess chuckled. “No, I don’t suppose you can. My name is Aine, I’m one of the elders here. Do please forgive Isildur, he has waited a long time for this day, and can be a little overwhelming sometimes. He is usually far more reserved and less… well, less annoying. He encountered some trouble before finding you and was concerned for your safety. It doesn’t make him less of an idiot for such a lapse in courtesy or self control. Not even serving you tea or showing you to a sleeping area to settle first. As I said. Bloody idiots.” Her smile gentled her words as she reached out to grasp Hunith’s free hand.

“You are our guest here for as long as you wish, Despite Isildur’s impatience I do not expect you to make any decisions tonight, or indeed tomorrow, you do not yet know us and I respect your caution. Especially in light of your recent betrayal. What I _will_ need you to do is be willing to pack up and travel, as it is unsafe for us to stay in one place for more than a few nights right now, and we are too close to Camelot’s border for comfort.”

Hunith nodded, grateful that the older woman seemed to understand. “And you think Cenred is any kinder to his subjects.”

The druidess snorted, “I think that Cenred would sell his own mother for a cask of ale without remorse, and the man is a sadistic, self serving egotist. For now his lands are still less dangerous for us than Uther’s. Not safe. Just… Ugh, that man would allow certain people to live simply to piss off Uther. The enemy of my enemy and all that. We intend to reach the forests of Nemeth though, since the Mad King has given his forests over to bandits and common criminals in hopes that they will kill _us_ for him.”

Hunith was still as she considered their options. “You certainly have the measure of the man there. Though having lived under him I doubt his idea of ‘letting them live’ is particularly better than being executed.”

“No. I suspect not, or Merlin’s father may not have left the kingdom.”

Hunith was grateful that the name went unspoken. Knowledge was a dangerous thing in these dark times.

“Come, I will show you to your sleeping place. All meals here are shared. Come to me if you have any questions at all. I would like to have Kara begin teaching Merlin tomorrow what is safe to gather, and what is unsafe to eat, she is responsible for that aspect of children’s learning as she has the most training in that area. It would help him to catch up to the others his age.”

Others. Merlin could have more that just Will. He’d need someone to distract him and be a friend. It was a moment of clarity for Hunith. She could leave them and keep running, just her and Merlin, hoping to find a village where they could live quietly and without notice, they could try to find Balinor to help Merlin without knowing where in the five kingdoms he was, or they could be a part of a community, still running, still hiding, but not alone. They could help Merlin learn control. Isildur’s assertions kindled a fury inside her, she would never harm her son, but they also gave her a sick feeling of guilt and fear. It didn’t matter. She was his protector, and remaining with the druids for now did not mean they must stay with them forever. She had once sworn to teach him to hide and to run, perhaps this was the gods way of answering that oath.

She didn’t see the satisfied look on Aine’s face when she turned and led the way to a small tent, considerately placed to the side of the main group. Two sleeping mats were placed ready, an adult one and a child’s, both with warm blankets in a deep green colour. The camp was small, it had to be, but for the first time in years Hunith felt truly welcome, and it flooded her with a warmth she hadn’t even realised had been missing.  She felt _lighter_.

Hunith looked over to where her son sat with another boy, looking up at a young man who was telling them a story and saw the wonder on Merlin’s face. No man had ever been happy to include him in family activities, and she knew she couldn’t rob him of this. She had to at least give them a chance.

 

 


	2. 2

The sun slipped towards the horizon as Hunith watched her enraptured son, the druid man was not using magic to augment the story, for which she was grateful, Merlin would have been unable to restrain his enthusiasm then. It was not needed, his actions, and gestures adding more than enough animation to his spoken words- dampened she assumed by a charm, with the lack of concern shown by others. Merlin had always loved tales, any time bards travelled through Ealdor he had tailed their every move, soaking up every line, the most eager audience they could find. The tales had become darker though, many too afraid now to include anything that might suggest a positive magical influence, no ideals or models for her boy to aspire to. Perhaps it wouldn’t have mattered if his father had been present, in life ‘what if’s’ were poison, only what _was_ mattered, dreams were dangerous, they made one discontent or careless.

Hunith wasn’t sure what _was_ anymore, or what _could be._ Nothing in her past had prepared her for this, not even the drastic changes of leaving her brother’s guardianship, or relinquishing her healing practice. Healing used herbs, and so did magic, so most of them had been forced to choose. Risk burning, or watch other suffer needlessly.  Balinor had admired her skill, been proud of her when she saved a woman and baby, fighting to keep both, coming home at all hours, sweat soaked and exhausted but elated. Holding her as she wept when a patient was beyond help.

When she had found herself pregnant she had set aside her position and identity as village healer and midwife; few would allow her to help them in her condition anyway. Cowards, all.

She turned over all she’d been told in her mind, watching the cosy scene until Merlin stopped fidgeting and snuggled closer to the story weaver, feeling something unclench in her chest as the man draped an arm around thin shoulders without a wince, drawing him in instead of creating distance.

  
Despite enjoying the little one’s avid appreciation, Devin looked to catch the mother’s eye, he  didn’t care what the elders claimed about the prophecies. If this _was_ Emrys, and he _felt_ the confirmation of that, then _this_ Emrys was still a child, like any other it would seem. Keen to hear a story, glad of sweet foods, fighting sleep even as it stole over him. The man quietly resolved to treat Emrys as he would his little brother, until told differently. His blood brother may be lost, but this child was not, and seemed to be desperate for any scrap of affection and acceptance he might get. Tonight had felt… fragile… like fate had been balanced on a knife edge, where one tiny choice could tip the balance of the world in one direction or another. A divide. He was no Seer. Not like his Aunt had been, but he could sense the forks in the road, and he fervently hoped that the _right_ choice had been made tonight, though he might not know which that was. His aunt had taught him not to meddle, to try always to respect the moral agency of others, even if you disagreed, only the gods could hold them truly to account. He wondered how the true Seers managed it. Not meddling. Perhaps that was how they were chosen for the Gift. In the goddess’ place he certainly would have decided that he lacked the necessary patience to be responsible with Sight. Really he considered it both wonderful, and potentially an unwise decision to grant him magic at all, small though it may be next to Emrys’ own.

If he was honest it scared him, that much power in the mind and body of a child so small. To hide him so well his mother must truly be a force to be reckoned with, normal toddlers were difficult to calm or soothe through tantrums or nightmares, ruled largely by emotions and instinct. He pulled the boy against him  gently and cradling him, carried Merlin over to where his mother stood watching. Calculating and evaluating them Devin thought. He didn’t blame her. Caution saved people sooner than trust now.

Hunith noticed the moment the storyteller stopped and gathered Merlin to him, her heart jumping in her throat, the adrenaline and fear an automatic response now as her mind rushed to find an excuse for flashing eyes or raging fires in empty hearths, before she remembered, and the shock of that moment brought the mother of Emrys to her knees, trembling.

They knew. The druids knew, and they were willingly hiding them.

Hunith pushed away the knowledge that someone had already betrayed them, and now others could do the same. 

As the storyteller holding Merlin looked askance at the small shelter Hunith smiled weakly and gestured towards their sleeping rolls, mouthing “Of course.”

He carried the child confidently, not disturbing his much needed rest, and Hunith did not miss the swiftly masked wistful look or clear experience of moving a sleeping child, and her heart ached. She wouldn’t ask. Too many people had heartbreaking stories now, and with a child like Merlin she had more than enough of her own nightmares. Compassion more than curiosity was Hunith’s approach to the brokenness that permeated their world. Unrolling the blankets she made a place ready for her son, and her throat ached when the young man slipped her child into bed and pulled up the blanket gently. The first time someone other than herself had laid him down to sleep.  What might Balinor have done she wondered, clamping down on the train _hard_. She didn’t even know if her beloved was alive. No what-if’s.

Merlin began to fidget and frown then, and Hunith knelt next to him, removing the shawl from her shoulders to cover him. Young children often found comfort in blankets or items that held a caregiver’s scent she knew. Red wasn’t ideal for fleeing through a forest, but it had been a gift from _him_ and she could never justify the extra cost for an unnecessary replacement, the cloth had been higher quality than anything else she had in her possession. Maybe one of their new companions could cast a glamour, or help her dye it a different colour, one suitable for life in the shadows. Being the colour of Camelot was something of a cruel joke, but she hadn’t forced an answer from Balinor on his preferences and clothing, though now she rather thought she should have. What else might she have learned of the intriguing man if she’d only thought to ask? It could have changed so much for her little Merlin. Too late now.

She watched as her son relaxed again, slipping deeper into sleep, and looked out to see two men taking first watch. This was far from what she had anticipated their first night being, and she had imagined many, _many_ possibilities. None of them included allies or defenders, and for all her consideration Hunith had never had a solid _plan_ for once the were away from the village and immediate threat, as the direction would depend on who they were running from.

In spite of her reservations, this group of druids seemed to have a strategy in mind. Skirting the border may not be wise, but the only way of reducing time in the open that Hunith could think of was to cut through the forest of Balor, and with magic under attack, that would be madness itself. It was likely to be heavily patrolled along the perimeter, the creatures inhabiting it will be extremely defensive and aggressive.

They would need to move not just quietly, but quickly, through many of the areas. She looked at

the red shawl, closer in size to a cloak and nodded to herself. Merlin might be getting a little old for carrying, but he was light for his age, she would would speak to the Eldress about sewing materials tomorrow. For the next day she could use it at least to support hip carries. Straps would make it easier to wear him like she did in the field as a babe. Even a child as energetic as Merlin couldn’t walk at a fast pace from Ealdor to Nemeth.

Hunith was torn. She needed to observe the adults around the fire after the few children were asleep, but that meant leaving Merlin unguarded, and she couldn’t trust anyone. In the end she settled down to guard him, if she couldn’t be certain who would prey upon Merlin among those she knew well, she couldn’t trust anyone here, and taking a sleeping child would be easy. It was far too great a risk.

 

*****************

Aine sat by the fire, enjoying it’s warmth. They likely wouldn’t have the luxury the next night, as the hunters of Camelot used the slight signs of a fire to track camps in the dark, this was the closest they could risk it.

Isildur sat next to her. “You didn’t tell her.”

Aine looked at the younger man calmly and spoke into his mind, “Of course not. _You_ almost did. They have lived in fear his whole life. What do you think greeting an exhausted mother, and a boy barely weaned with prophecies and pressure would do? Any sensible woman would take the child and run. Best case scenario she doesn’t know the prophecies or legends and thinks you’ve been eating the wrong mushrooms. Worst case, she _does_ recognise them, makes the connections and flees Albion. Destiny may always lead him back here, but nothing says that Emrys suffering is only begun as an adult.”

Isildur smiled bitterly, “That’s the first time you’ve said his name since before I left to meet them. Why? Do you doubt it is him?”

Aine tilted her head, “Do you?” The woman had mental shields like castle walls.

“No, I’ve never felt magic like it.”

She nodded, smiling. “His aura is a thing of sheer beauty. I do not speak his True Name for several reasons. Firstly because it is _not_ a name that he knows, and asleep in the tent is not a hero of legend, but a fragile child. More importantly, there is absolutely no way to tell who is watching, and you have heard the whispers, what do you think would happen if the name Emrys reached Uther’s ears? Cenred’s? The Catha’s? One would burn him, the other likely enslave the poor boy, and there are plenty just waiting to brutalise the child and turn him into a weapon for their own ends. Merlin has enough to hide right now just to survive. If he does not recognise the name ‘Emrys’, he cannot _react_ to it in a bad situation.”

Isildur stared at the the woman as though she had changed in a fundamental way. “You mean not to tell them!”

She shook her head, “It’s not that. It’s just…” The mental sigh was full of frustration and sorrow, “I don’t know what the right action is. I do know that right now, Nimue is understandably consumed by rage and a desire for vengeance. To use a little boy though, shape and twist him to be the means, or poison his power, that is unforgivable, and she knows he lives, she knows the age of child she is looking for, the High Priestess will search for him. For now we guard the boy, keep him safe, even from ourselves. The knowledge of his identity is not something that can be removed once revealed to him, and it is not in _our_ destiny to show him that. Do not try to defy the fates Isildur. Think what a burden we would be placing upon them. His mother Hunith is afraid for him, vulnerable. Have patience child and let the goddess guide your actions, there is more at stake than what you see today. If Merlin is hurt by those with magic, or raised in darkness, his power will not be less, and not only would Albion never be created, but the land itself, and seas would be filled with darkness, the skies burned and poisoned. Living things would fade and our lush forests disappear.

I have not been granted sight of what awaits us in Nemeth, only that we will safely reach it with both mother and child.”

Isildur was still, and watched the fire as he considered what his Elder had said. It was true. He couldn’t argue with any particular point.

“I just never considered that the prophesied Emrys might be a child.”

Aine chuckled. “Every great man and woman began as a babe, they all grew to adulthood in the usual manner. Whenever he was sent he was always going to begin as a child. All that can be changed- nudged really- is how that formative period is experienced. The principal events that shape the man or woman they will be remain the same. Fixed. It still allows some flexibility in the times between.”

Isildur was watching her closely now, and listening intently.

“Explain.”

Aine examined his features, testing his sincerity before nodding, apparently deeming him worthy. “In every life there are events that must occur, moments of significance which mustn’t be lost, and others of little import, not always the ones you expect. Think of your own life Isildur. You, like many of us, have suffered great losses, it has helped shape you. You have also loved, and been loved in return, moments like the first time you held a lover in your arms matter as much as the painful ones, sometimes more. You also have sung around many fires, told a thousand stories, and given shelter to people you may barely remember, yet to those whom you fed and sheltered, it may have meant the difference between life and death. They will remember you until their last breaths. Your pain shapes your impatience now, and your experience of the peace that has been lost defines your perspective. Like so many others of our people, you feel the immediacy of our situation, and our desperation, but Emrys? Emrys is not ready. How could he _possibly_ be? From _his_ perspective this is the furthest he has ever been from home, and he is yet going to discover they have left the brother of his heart behind forever. He is accustomed to rejection, or did you not see his joy at being welcomed. _Merlin_ has never had a man include him like any other boy, he will remember Devin holding him at a campfire and simply telling him stories forever. When he is older he will remember and know what we risked coming here today, and he will remember the sense of community, and being protected. Not only himself, but that we are choosing to protect his mother, the most important person to him, when she can’t protect herself, and he has promised her not to use his magic. This is one of those opportunities to shape the moments between set events, to influence the choices he makes later. Devin could have chosen to reject the boy, or to treat him differently - not healthy for one so young. We could have intervened earlier and not revealed the betrayal of her friends, a small action but with lasting consequences. Foreknowledge is dangerous, and must never be treated casually or with recklessness. The purge was foreseen by some, and the death of the Queen, their actions did not prevent it and in one case worsened the situation. Tread carefully my boy. Time cannot be stopped or rewound.”

Isildur appreciated the explanation and wisdom, but the addition of Emrys hiding his magic and being forced to not use it had him glowering and radiating disapproval.

“I know how you feel, but she cannot be blamed Isildur. It is hard enough to teach one with natural power if your own is learned, let alone a non-magic user who has no access to knowledge or support. There is time to help Merlin, to help him not be ruled by fear, but the way to do so when he is so young is to show him love, acceptance, and _hope._ Not be stubborn and forceful or emanate disapproval of his mother. A bastard child in a village that small knows the feel and look of it. Someone as caring as he is will be protective, and well sensitised to it, so you had better practice some self control.”

 Aine shook her head as she felt the conflict in her friend. “I will. You have my oath, I will not fail you, or the goddess in this sacred task. If you are sure of what I am _not_ to do, then tell me, what _am_ I to do?” Isildur felt the frustration common to all young men in such uncertain positions.

Aine reached over to take his hand, reinforcing the connection they were sharing mentally. “You are to learn. Learn, and listen, and remember. Let the goddess guide you and she will. There are those who will come and claim to speak for her, you must be able to test and judge their claims. One day you may become an elder in your own right, but those who are wisest have often lived through the hardest times.”

“Like you?” His tone was gentle.

“You know but a little of my story. Yes, young man. Like me.”

 “So if you do not know what happens next how can we prepare well?”

Aine shook her head. “So impatient.” She smiled slightly, “I suppose it boils down to trust. Do you trust Her my son?”

There could only be one answer to that, of course he trusted the Triple goddess and the prophecies.

“Then do you not think she has spoken to more than only one group to protect the child She claims for Her own? We already know that there are many aware he lives, though fortunately they do not know _where_. I believe that when we reach our destination the right people will have been Called to meet us. If it is not so, we shall be guided when it is needed. I have suspicions but nothing to base them on yet, so sharing would do more damage than help.”

Isildur couldn’t hide his curiosity from her, sharing thoughts as they were, and Aine sighed audibly.

“Go to bed Isildur. It’s late and we have an early start tomorrow. I’ll take the second watch and wake you for the third.”

The druid man stood and bowed his head in acknowledgment. “Thank you for teaching me Elderess. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight Isildur. Rest well.”

 

He missed the simple things most, like saying ‘Sleep well’. ‘Until next time’.  Such small changes that reflected the transformation their world had undergone, and continued to suffer. As he carefully considered all that had been said he felt his anger begin to fade, and a realisation of reasons behind his attitude that chilled him. As the Mad king had classed every magic user as the same, and their every action born of the same corrupt motives, he had looked at Emrys’ mother and seen a magicless woman seeking to suppress it in an innocent boy, to get rid of it. He had looked at her frantic efforts to protect him and seen their oppressors trying to purge all Magic. How easy it was to slip from righteous indignation into prejudice and anger. It was exactly the same as Uther but for their birth status.

His bedroll was too cold and his travelpack too light. It always would be.

The woman Hunith though, he had been gentle with her despite misgivings, and he saw the sadness that lurked in her eyes, the grief that seeped into everything after losing a loved one. She missed her Dragonlord as he missed his own wife, but she was not waiting for him to save them. She did not seem resentful of her own pack being heavier, her own furs being cold.

The Dragonlord may still live, but he may as well be dead for all Hunith knew of him. To not even know he had a son… and now she was chained to a great destiny as surely as if he had left manacles around her wrists. She had been alone a long time, and fully expected, he suddenly understood, to be alone forever.  Hunith was the very image of The Mother, self sacrificing and compassionate, fierce, she relied on her own strength, allowing no one close enough to pose a threat to her son.

When Emrys showed magic she had not exposed him, had not ‘given him mercy’, she had chosen to fight for her son. The young woman might not know it, but she was the first warrior ever to pledge herself to his protection and his cause.  When she discovered that someone she knew had turned on them she remained calm, and practical. If she had had even the slightest inclination towards magic the priestesses would have leapt at the prospect of training her, well, if they weren’t also trying to avoid the notice of the High Priestess.

Somehow he managed to get to sleep a few hours before relieving the first watch, grateful for the surprising lack of nightmares tonight.

 

Hunith woke before dawn, as she often did, with Merlin not far behind her.  Anyone who lived off the land lived also by its laws, and by nature’s cycles. She ensured their shelter was ready to take down before the left it, rolling up and tying the bedroll and blanket, leaving out only the bowl and spoon which she handed to Merlin, who grinned. The boy had hollow legs these days, and she shuddered, knowing it always preceded a growth spurt, and this life was not one she understood yet, she had not idea what she would do when he finally did outgrow things. Ignoring the nagging doubts she returned his wide smile, “Go on then, see how sneaky you can be. I wonder if you can sneak up on your storyteller without him noticing?” She caught his eye as he began to take down his own shelter and winked. Gods how long had it been since someone else _played_ with them? Too long for sure.

She had succumbed to sleep despite her fears, defeated by the bone deep exhaustion, and it had been its own kind of magic. Watching the other take down his shelter it appeared easy enough, so she began on hers, startled when she felt someone else begin to help. “They are made to be convenient enough for one traveller when necessary, but it is always easier with two.”

Hunith chuckled, careful to keep her voice low in the almost-silence, “I suspect that rather depends on who your helper is.” She nodded towards her young son, who was looking delightedly at some gruel that appeared to have some kind of fruit preserve that had her eyebrows lifting in surprise at the treat. “Don’t be alarmed Hunith, we find that the children often move faster in the morning if they have something sweet with the gruel or stew. In this case it also offers a brief distraction. Come, please take something- yes, just lash that corner and… good, we have enough, and you have gone without recently, let us at least do as the goddess commands and share our blessings.”

“You have already fed one extra, I cannot take more from you when we have nothing to offer in return.”

Wide eyed the young woman managed not to protest or incriminate herself as she focused on projecting a calm aura like she had been taught, “No! You misunderstand me, we, the Druids who follow the Old Ways that is, are connected to the earth in a way. What is granted to us is not owned in the same way as you imagine. What we have _is_ yours, as much as it is our own. We did not water the plant with rain, or sustain the hare until it obligingly caught in our snare, and the balance requires that recognition. The triple goddess led you here, at this time, and so the food she provided was intended for you also.”

Hunith had to consciously close her mouth. There was no way to refuse that without implying offence to their allies, and their deities, and by the smirk, the druidess knew it.

“I don’t know what to say. Thank you.”

“Call me Kara, and if you still feel guilty for simply eating enough to travel with us without fainting then you can make it up by sharing your own songs with us later. You and I don’t get preserve with breakfast I’m afraid, adults are expected to understand the need for efficiency without the bribe of sweets.” A wry look on her face as she appraised the mother of Emrys.

“Kara then. I don’t think I’ve had such things out of season since Ba- before I had Merlin. Neither has he though. You may have quite a job getting him not to talk your ear off about it later. You are the same Kara that Aine mentioned last night I assume? Seeing as children seem to be your focus.” Hunith relaxed as the druidess flushed, obviously unaware that she had been mentioned, “Don’t worry, nothing bad, she was just asking that Merlin be allowed to follow your classes for safety.”

Kara was younger than she’d expected, certainly no older than Hunith herself, dark hair that would fall to her waist bound up tightly in a complex braid, dressed in practical travelling clothes, hardy and dark for staying hidden in the shadows of the forest.

Shelters and camp packed away, Hunith approached her son, noticing that for all they were fleeing all he’d ever known, in the company of near strangers, he was probably the most content 

she’d ever seen him. The boy had practically inhaled his food after being assured everyone else had plenty, and washed his bowl and spoon which sat next to him unnoticed, as his entire attention was focused on the spider slowly building a web between twigs. His eyes flickered gold as he watched, nothing happening that Mother saw, but a flash of clarity that caused Merlin to emit a squeak as he saw the golden magic that lay not only in the gossamer strands of his spider’s web but stretched out, into the world around him, winding like fragile silk through and into everything. He blinked and it was gone, but Merlin _knew_ it was still there. Hiding just out of sight, like water when the sun hit it just right would sparkle with light, even though it was usually deep and dark.

“Merlin?” Mum’s voice had the kind of worry in it that meant she’d said his name at least three times already, he frowned at that, he did _try_ to pay attention. Really.   
“I know. It’s time to go.”  She knelt and took his hands, making sure that he was listening to her, “Merlin, you and I, we are going on an adventure. We are going to find a new place to explore together, and lots of beautiful creatures.” He nodded.

“At the end of our journey, we are going to find a new home, all our own ok? Do you understand my son?”

Merlin’s expression grew serious, it ought to look out of place on so young a face, but somehow it fit as a he nodded. “It’s time to go now, to find our new home ‘cause our old one is gone.”

Breath catching in her throat Hunith hugged him tightly.

“Come on Little Bird, there is a lady who’s waiting to meet you.”

Merlin grinned brightly, “Is she nice?”

Hunith brought him to where Kara was waiting with the others to leave, “Very nice. She likes animals and insects like you do, and she is going to show you what is good to eat and bad as we go, but only if you listen and stay with us, ok?”

He was fidgeting, practically vibrating with energy as he agreed enthusiastically and was introduced to the druidess, declaring her ‘very pretty’ and skipping next to her with a glance at his mother for permission.

Merlin wanted to absorb every single moment of happiness as he had learned early that nothing lasted forever, especially the good things, and had decided that it must mean that the good 

things were much more important to notice and pay attention to than the bad things.

Sometimes his grown ups forgot that, he thought, and saw the scary monsters but missed the spiderwebs, jam and storytelling by the warm fire. It was especially important Merlin thought to himself, to look for the good things when the scary things from his bad dreams were there. Sometimes when Mum was sad he would tell her about them and it would make her smile. Sometimes _he_ made her sad though and then he would be quiet. Mum thought he didn’t know really so he didn’t ask.

She would cuddle him later and say he was good, and hadn’t spoiled anything, tell him that there were grown up things he couldn’t fix, but there was something that nagged inside him, a thing he couldn’t explain, because Merlin _knew_ that he could, one day. Even if he had to wait to grow up, he would fix the unfixable thing that made his Mum sad.

 

By the time the pre-dawn light gave way to true sunrise the small group were moving swiftly through the woodland, little trace of their camp remaining, full silence falling over them as they neared the edge of more dangerous territory, the magic spilling a little from Merlin as he repaired a twig he’d broken and lightened his footsteps. The warm voice in his mind was strange, no one had done that before, and yet felt so normal that he wondered why they hadn’t, “Careful little one, Aine and Isildur have it, they ease our way and have had more practice. You’ll have your turn, I promise, but try to make it behave until we tell you it’s safer and can help ok?” He saw Kara looking at him intently, and realised the voice was hers, and her lips were not moving. It made him wonder if he could do the same if he concentrated _very_ hard, having to smother a giggle with his hand when his enthusiastic “I PROMISE!” was met with a flinch and a bemused look.

“That certainly answers the question of whether you can speak to others this way. I’ll teach you tonight how to not _shout_ in people’s minds, when you do that it makes them grumpy.”

Merlin nodded. That made sense, grown ups often didn’t like loud noises, especially near their ears, and ears were a part of one’s head after all.  With Kara’s voice gone Merlin went back to looking at all the bugs and plants he didn’t recognise. Plants were important he knew, they could be used to help bruises and stop a fever, but the wrong ones could make a person very sick. Mum was good at plants. Merlin wondered why she let Kara show him, or maybe they were ones she didn’t know, but he’d never brought one home that mum didn’t recognise. Maybe she was pretending. Merlin was good at pretend. He was the best. Sometimes he played fun pretends with her, like when she was a chicken and he was a duck, but other times they did pretends that weren’t games at all, and meant ‘how to stay safe’. Those were secret ones, and no one else was allowed to know about them.

He could tell the difference, and if she was playing a pretend this time then it wasn’t like the fun ones, so he could only ask when nobody else could hear. Maybe he could try the new silent-speaking with her for it, when he could do it quietly anyway. Could his Mum do that? Or was it like magic and a ‘not allowed’ thing? The others didn’t seem scared of him though, not like in the village, no one had hurt them or shouted rude things. He sighed. Telling good people from bad people was much harder than plants.

People always looked the same on the outside.

 


	3. DA3

The small group moved quickly through the trees, Kara catching Merlin when he stumbled over a root or clump of grass, Merlin didn’t cry out, he usually had skinned knees and elbows anyway, even when people hadn’t pushed him. 

It was hard to balance and concentrate on where all of his body was at the same time as not letting the magic slip out, like holding his breath for too long made him feel dizzy. He had tried that before. It wasn’t a nice feeling. 

Not very long ago one of the men in the village had been talking about another boy with magic in a different village, Merlin had been hiding behind a tree avoiding bedtime. The village saw the red men coming he said, and had held the boy under water until he died. He used the bad words that Merlin wasn’t to say, and told the others that it was a good thing to ‘get rid’ of ‘them’.  

Merlin had thought he wasn’t noticed until the man looked at him and he saw the mean look. Merlin knew then that the old man  _ wanted _ him to be scared, so he had tried to look angry instead, and raced home, had ignored the scared feeling until he stumbled into Mum’s waiting arms. He hadn’t told her why he was crying then, but he had held on to her all night and woken up with bad dreams. Next time they had to bathe in the river he had looked so nervous and upset that he thought she might know, she made the angry face that wasn’t meant for him and had picked him up gently and carried him in. He hadn’t washed all of himself that day, he knew that putting his head under water meant not breathing, but Mum hadn’t told him off like she usually would. Maybe the men had told her scary stories too. He made himself smile because the nasty men, and the red men were not there, just him and mum, and bullies shouldn’t get to take away their fun things, like splashing. She had promised him at bedtime to teach him to swim and told him he was very brave. Merlin didn’t think he was brave at all. He was just  _ very good _ at pretends. Maybe if he practiced not feeling afraid enough it would turn into something real.

The stories that Mum told at bedtime weren’t like the ones Will had. Well, some were, but most of Will’s stories had happy endings. The monsters were defeated by brave men, or the women got to marry the man they wanted, the mermaid made it back to the sea in time, and sheep rustler was discovered. A lot of Merlin’s stories didn’t have such happy endings. Or he would hear about how the monster was chased from the home he loved by those brave men he frightened. His mermaid might get back to the sea in time but be captured and kept by a captain who thought her beautiful, his sheep rustler was doing something bad only because his Lord made him. His stories weren’t just about heroes and fancy ladies. They were harder to know who would win, or decide who  _ should _ win. 

Will’s stories he thought were all about the ending, how it all turned out in the end, his were about the journey, and how everyone got there. There was probably a reason for that he thought, but there were a lot of things that were different in Merlin’s life so he forgot about the small ones. The stories last night hadn’t been like Mum’s stories  _ or _ like missus Edith’s ones, they were new, and Merlin  _ loved _ new stories. Maybe if he was really,  _ really _ good Devin would tell him some more tonight, he thought he he might have fallen asleep before the end last night, he was one of the best Merlin had ever seen, maybe even better than the bard who had passed through Ealdor.

 

Kara watched the little warlock carefully, noting when his eyes glazed over and he was distracted enough to trip, he was trying to hold to his magic too tightly, fighting it rather than directing or guiding. No wonder he wasn’t as aware of his surroundings as she’d expect, he wasn’t using half his senses. The child was trying to do the equivalent of traversing unfamiliar terrain blindfolded and muffling sounds. When he fell over properly for the third time in ten minutes she sighed and stopped, catching Hunith’s eye and kneeling down to be on a level with Merlin.

“Merlin?” He looked up, seeming surprised. Gods, how did he even function like this?

“Hello Merlin,” She smiled warmly, “I noticed that you were tripping a little, can I check your knees?” He nodded. Of course she could, though it was silly, you only needed to look if there was blood, “Good, no cuts. Do you know what you fell over?” Merlin was puzzled, why did that matter? He shook his head. “Ah. That makes a lot of sense, neither do I. I want you to close your eyes Merlin, you can hold my hands or mum’s.” Curious, Merlin did as she said, it was a new game. “Well done Merlin, now, I want you to tell me what you see.” He opened his eyes and she shook her head, “No. Not like that, you had it right. Close your eyes and keep them closed, then tell me what you  _ see _ .” She spoke into his mind calmly, “ _ Like this Merlin.” _

Hunith moved to tell the druidess not to confuse her son and Isildur appeared behind her, placing one hand lightly on her shoulder, “Trust her, watch.” he murmured next to her ear. He had cast a temporary glamour to hide them from any casual onlooker. Hunith didn’t, but she was willing to wait for a natural opening. 

“Good, remember to breathe little one. We won’t let anything bad happen like this, you don’t have to protect us from it.” Hunith started, of course her youngson shouldn’t be protecting them! Yet she couldn’t miss the way it looked like a weight lifted from him. “Oh, that’s much better Merlin, it’s ok, we won’t be scared, you can let it feel where the ground is, or brush the trees, just like your hand ok? It’s just another hand or foot. Feet aren’t scary are they?” Merlin giggled, eyes still obediently closed. “Will’s Dad’s are, his boots smell really, really bad! Will’s mum even makes him wash his own socks!” He grinned brightly and Kara chuckled, “ah, yes, my brother has boots like that. I think he secretly has a badger in his bed to keep his feet warm.” Merlin laughed “that’s silly, Badgers don’t sleep at night.” 

“No, they don’t. Maybe  _ some _ feet are scary then, but not little boys feet.”

Merlin shook his head. “No.”

“Go on. Reach out just a little bit, and stand straight. I’ve got you, I won’t let you fall.”

Hunith’s mouth fell open as Merlin picked himself up with more grace than he’d shown in months.

“Right, do you think you can do the same thing as you walk?” The boy nodded enthusiastically. “Yes!”   
“I want you to open your eyes now Merlin, and you’re not going to panic and pull that hand in ok? It’ll take a bit of practice to remember, but using your senses properly should help you not to fall over as much. It’ll help that extra arm not to get all twitchy when you don’t want it to ok? Let’s show your mum how good you can be at balancing and not crashing then.”

Hunith controlled herself and watched as her son turned a blinding smile on her, “Look mum, it’s different! Can you see?” He was pointing wildly at the ground and she was worried for a moment about what the young woman had done to him until a calm voice spoke quietly into her mind “Later, I’ll explain everything when he sleeps.” She saw Kara’s gaze focused on her and nodded once, lips pressed thing together as Merlin held her hand. 

“We need to keep moving,” Came Aine’s quiet voice from the front. 

Isildur waved his hand and dropped his spell, tired but pleased. 

Their surroundings had changed dramatically by the time the sun reached its zenith, and this time there was no stopping for a midday meal, but travel food hastily distributed and a stop by a small stream to refill their water skins. The trees were thinner. Easier to move through but offering far less cover, the guides had elected not to disappear deep into the forest, minimising the distance due to their travelling company. Knowing that there was at least one settlement close enough by to have someone out gathering stumble on them lent an air of tension to the adults, and a sense of urgency. The druids between themselves used silent communication, and Devin scooped Merlin up to carry for the sake of a faster pace, Hunith had a great deal to consider in light of what she had seen.

By afternoon the Feorre mountains they wished to avoid crossing were obvious, and they found themselves in the rolling foothills, the forest of merenora’s protection fading. Hunith had watched Merlin like a hawk all day since Kara had paused, and to her surprise he had not fallen once in that time, almost seeming to glide, and sense things before the rest of them. It was at once wonderful to see him more at ease with himself and uninjured, and distressing that she hadn’t been able to help, unaware of what he was doing. 

“There are caves not far from here Aine, we could make camp there for the night, with more shelter.”

The older woman looked around, and gauged where they were in the landscape. “No, it’s not close enough, is in the wrong direction, and takes us closer to Cenred who’s quite willing to make deals with anyone if he thinks it’ll gain him power. We’ll camp here and take the pass through the hills tomorrow, and if we keep moving we shouldn’t be on the wrong side of the border more than two days, even without a ride.”

Isildur raised a brow, “You hate riding.”

“I like horses, and I’ve nothing against saddle bags if the creature is willing.”

Isildur snorted, “I’m sure they’d be just queuing up to carry your camp.” 

“Sooner than to carry you anywhere Isildur,  _ I _ feed them apples and oats.”

Apparently the young warlock needed training in not over-hearing too, as he definitely perked up at the mention of ‘apples’. 

Glad that he had managed to store enough from the last harvest, Isildur took one from his pack and tossed it to Merlin, who grinned blindingly. Most other children would be discouraged from eavesdropping, even within the druidic communities-  _ especially _ within Druidic communities, as violating minds was a serious offence for those old enough to understand, but naturally it was taught alongside ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ manners. With so many people ready to pursue him, and threats everywhere, Merlin was one that Isildur believed would have need of the skill. What he wanted  _ Merlin _ to learn was how not to get  _ caught  _ overhearing things _. _

Maybe it wasn’t ideal, but he was surely not the only one reinforcing behaviours that in normal times would be discouraged. In  _ normal _ times honesty was advocated, thieving a crime, but nothing about these times were  _ normal. _ He could feel Aine’s gaze on him but she made no move to intervene and no comment, so he ignored it.

 

Looking at the sparse cover the older druids decided it was too exposed to risk cooking, the flatbread was still fresh enough and enough cured meat remained to allow everyone a little with it. 

Neither Merlin nor Hunith made any comment on the fare that was on offer, both too accustomed to hunger to regard  _ any _ food as ‘bad’. Food was food, and every meal was a blessing one shouldn’t take for granted, because sometimes there wasn’t a next one, or raiders came, or… well there were lots of reasons for going hungry. Merlin hated hunting, he felt every time when the life faded, but he understood the need for it. Each creature had to feed its babies, and not all of them could eat grass.  People were some who needed more, and it would be a terrible waste to hunt an animal for furs or skin you needed and not use  _ everything _ possible if the rabbit, or squirrel, or fowl had to die for them to live. Children weren’t allowed to make rules about ‘forbidden things’- but if they could, that would be one of his. 

Not liking hunting wasn’t something he told anyone though. He told Will once, when Will was waving his throwing knives- wooden ones, Will’s dad wouldn’t let him touch the sharp ones yet. Not until he was as tall as the miller’s son. Will had laughed at him then. A lot, and then said that boys all had to learn to hunt, only girls were ever allowed to not do it.  Deciding that Will was wrong, Merlin had told him so, and been angry because Will was supposed to be his friend. Later, he had thought about it and decided that  _ if _ Will might, just maybe be not-wrong after all, then he would have to learn himself. Mum didn’t have any other boys to do hunting, not like Will’s mum did, so Merlin had realised that he would have to be the one to do any things that needed a boy.  

   Looking around the clearing he remembered that these people didn’t think the same way about his magic as everyone else he knew, and wondered if maybe he wasn’t the only one that felt that way when the life went out too. It was always like a snuffed candle, there one minute, and gone the next. Not moved, just  _ gone _ . He shivered, and someone draped a blanket around his shoulders. Crossly he pushed  it off “Not cold.” 

His mother knelt down next to Merlin, wrapping it around him again, “You will be without this my son, there won’t be a fire tonight.  We’ll all need to share warmth like in winter.” 

He wanted to explore, to play, but the adults wouldn’t allow it. 

He was never allowed to  _ explore _ like other boys. He wanted to though, and his magic did too, like it was looking for something, he didn’t know what, only that he’d recognise it when he found the missing thing. It wasn’t nearly so bad when he was surrounded by nature, there was a different magic there, one that he could feel, and it was like being given a warm meal when you had been hungry so long that you stopped noticing. Mum didn’t like it when he reached out because his eyes looked different then and it was dangerous she said. Even when he wasn’t doing any magic his eyes showed a tiny bit of gold and it was easier to see like this. He saw her press her lips together and the happy feeling from magic disappeared. “I know it’s hard to remember, they have been so kind and like your magic, but others are still not safe, and there are too many bad men roaming here that would hurt you if they saw. Remember how you’ve spotted people in the woods without them seeing you, the traders  _ and _ the raiders. Our friends here are safe, like the traders were, but we are close to a place that attracts raiders and the knights that steal people. We must still be careful my love.”

Seeing his eyes begin to fill with tears Hunith pulled Merlin into a tight hug, “Oh my little bird, you are always so brave. I saw you listening to Kara earlier, she seems very nice, did you learn anything new today?” 

Merlin brushed the tears away hard and sniffed. Mum wasn’t like Will’s parents. She never told him that boys weren’t supposed to cry, but that all people had the same feelings, she had said even Daddy cried when he had to leave and his Dad had been the bravest of men. Mum had never answered his questions about his Father, not who he was or what he did, or where he went. Just that he had to go to protect them and he was brave- and that it wasn’t because of Merlin. She had been angry when the village boys had told him that.  Merlin had learned well that tears were not for sharing though, never where anyone might see. 

“Kara showed me how not to fall over, and how to not feel dizzy, I didn’t learn much else ‘cause she told me to practice. I did a lot of practising Mum, I even standed on one leg without falling. Look, see? I can do it just as good as Will now!” Standing up and dropping the blanket again Merlin demonstrated with only a slight wobble, and Hunith’s breath caught in her throat at the sight of her son confidently doing something he’d been so frustrated by only days ago.  The delighted grin that spread across his face was contagious and Hunith found herself beaming back at him and clapping.

“Tomorrow I want to learn to hop!” Merlin announced

“Well done Merlin! That’s brilliant. Fantastic balancing! I’m sure you’ll be able to work on hopping in the morning. I know the light hasn’t quite faded yet but it’s late really, and we have to be on the move early tomorrow to travel as far as we need to. I want you to take a drink of water,  go for a pee, and then we’re going to get you cooried down to sleep.”

“Mummy?”

"Mmhm?”

“Can I hear the rest of the story? I didn’t get to hear the end.”

Hunith placed his sleeping mat on the ground and pursed her lips. “Which story, Merlin?”

“The man from last night tells stories mummy, he’s really good. I didn’t hear it all. You could listen too!” Hunith looked towards the young man, so far he had shown no ill intent and seemed to enjoy Merlin’s chatter and attention. “Ok Merlin, you can ask him, but if he says no then you have to listen to him and wait for another day.”

“But mummy, he knows  _ new _ stories.”

Hunith gave her pleading son a stern look, “There are always new stories, you can only ask Devin if you promise to listen to the answer he gives.”

Merlin pouted but nodded. “Yes’m”, and grabbing her hand before scampering off to behind a tree at the edge of the clearing, washing his hands in the stream at a look from his mother as she rubbed hers together.

“K Mummy. I can have a story now?”

Hunith smiled and shook her head at her son’s enthusiasm, “Very well Merlin, on you go and ask politely.”

The young story-teller was with Aine when Merlin found him and reached up to tug on one hand. “Please can I listen again tonight?” Devin was  about to agree before he realised exactly  _ what _ or rather who the story had been about and caught his Elder’s eyes in panic, ‘ _ Don’t worry. Nothing risky or mentioning either Emrys or the Once and future King, but surely those are not the  _ only _ stories you know! Just tell him he isn’t old enough yet to hear the rest. It’s true after all.’ _

Devin nodded jerkily and knelt down to speak to Merlin, who hadn’t noticed the brief exchange between adults. “I’d love to come and tell you a story if your mum says it’s ok, it’ll be different though, last night’s has a bit of a scary ending ok? Maybe I can tell you when you are older.”

Merlin looked slightly puzzled “Lots of Mummy’s stories have scary endings, or happy-sad ones.”

Devin hummed, there would be a reason for that but it wasn’t for him to question. He looked at the wide eyed little boy, considering, “How about I tell you one without an ending then?” Merlin’s pout at being denied the end of the story about friends disappeared. “They have those?” came the high whisper. 

“Oh yes! Don’t you know that no story ever truly  _ ends _ , they are woven together and we tell tiny bits of a whole to each other. Stories are like these young leaves you see, one part of something much greater. Each leaf is one person, but one on it’s own can never exist, they are all joined together and part of the tree, fed by the same water and light. When we step back further we can see that it’s not just one tree of leaves but a  _ forest _ , and then you see that the forest is not alone, there are rivers and mountains, and a whole wide world beyond. Never think that the story is over, Merlin. There is always a winter where the old leaves flutter to the ground to shelter forest creatures as they sleep, and new leaves in the spring.” Devin scooped the boy up as he had once done for his brother, knowing he was too tired to safely fling up to his shoulders.

“Come on. Bedtime for you.”

Hunith smiled as she saw the young man carrying her awestruck son over, the shelter erected and ready for them, setting Merlin down the young druid allowed him to coorie in and stroked the unruly black hair. “Have you ever looked up at the night sky Merlin?” The child thought and nodded slowly,  _ ‘It looks  like winter evenings doesn’t it.’  _ Devin smiled gently “It does, and that was good, but I think for now it would be polite to make sure your mum can hear too.” Merlin looked bashful as Hunith sent a subtly appreciative look their way, “Well, when the Goddess made the darkness to be separate from the light she saw that her children were afraid of it. The darkness made them feel lost and alone, they needed a way to see, and to find their way through the darkness. They needed a reminder of the light and a way to know which way they were going, so she made the stars. The stars are reminders, and they are full of wisdom Merlin. All these long ages the stars have looked down upon the Earth, seen the actions of man, and they remain steady. We use them for many things Merlin, we use them to mark time, leaders even to know how long it is until the solstice, but for you and I, they are like a map. Directions for when we are lost, and a reminder that the light will return in the morning, they are eternal and no man can master them. They are like fires that keep you safe from wolves, but instead they keep away the fear of the darkness. Like hope they cannot be extinguished. When you and I feel lost and alone in the night, we can look up and know that we are never abandoned, if everything feels too heavy look up and remember that you are not supposed to try and hold up the sky. The darkness of night is necessary and needed, the Goddess knew that and does not fear it, the stars are a message that you do not need to either. There are groups of stars together that we call constellations, and even I don’t know all of their names yet, but if you look up over there you can see Ursus. You won’t often see bears nowadays but they were once common, and this one, like real bears has her cub right beside her, forever, a Mother Bear will never leave her cub, and he follows her everywhere knowing she will keep him safe, just like human mothers do, and the Mother herself does. Ursus minor follows his mother all around the heavens, never knowing that he is helping lead little humans to their destinations in the night.” Devin smiled. Merlin’s eyes had fallen closed as the man’s soft voice and gentle hand soothed him. “She watched and saw that her children were less afraid, and remembered that they were forgetful. The stars lasted forever, but Her children lived fast, and the littlest ones were the furthest away from the sky, they couldn’t see the great expanse, so She thought to herself, I must find a way to show my children’s children they are watched over, and help them remember the cycles of life. The little lights that burned so bright in the night sky were joined by a much bigger one, easier for little eyes to see. The moon. Each night we know how much longer it is until daybreak now by one glance at the sky. If we are very lucky, sometimes it will show us especially beautiful things. The moon is even more special to women than to men like us, and there are  _ special _ stories that only the priestesses tell about that.” Merlin’s breathing had settled into the slow even pattern of a sleeping child and a smile graced his face. 

Hunith joined them as Devin withdrew his hand, careful not to disturb the sleeping lad.

“Thank you. He is not used to this kind of attention.” She waved her hand at the small camp.

“It’s my pleasure. It’s been a long time since there was someone who wanted to listen to my bedtime stories. I hope you don’t mind, I didn’t tell the rest of last night’s as he initially wished. Not all stories are… suited…  to such young children.” A sadness passed over Hunith’s features. “Perhaps not, but when their reality can be more tragic or harder to live, scary stories are sometimes the ones that help or suggest a way forward to them.” The druid wanted to disagree on impulse, but he was all too well aware of what ‘reality’ meant for all of _them_.

“Still, I will leave it to you to make the judgement call on those until I know Merlin better. We all have enough nightmares to bear without me giving anyone new ones.” 

Hunith reached for his hand and gave his fingers a tight squeeze, “I am so sorry for your loss.”

A familiar ache swelled in his chest, the one which never quite faded, “And I for yours.”

Hunith’s eyes took on a sheen but she swallowed down the old grief as always.

“Mama Bear? Really?” 

Devin shrugged. “Mama bear. I refuse to add the other version with the nymphs until he’s old enough to know about that.”

Hunith shook her head in amusement, “It’s almost sweet that you think a bastard born child could remain completely oblivious. The language that child has had thrown his way would shock a tavern maid.” It felt  _ wrong _ on an instinctive level to Devin that Emrys should have been treated that way and must have shown on his face as Hunith laid a hand lightly against his cheek, “Don’t look away, it’s refreshing that someone would consider his emotions and wish to protect him, don’t ever be sorry for being kind to a child. Especially one like him.” She noticed his eyes flicking towards the old woman and Isildur and dropped her hand, “Go on, finish your discussion, I know my son interrupted you, can you send Kara over to speak to me on your way?” The request was an instruction, he understood, and was glad to be out of the way for that after earlier.

He didn’t bother going over to Kara, trying to minimise the tracks they left, instead bespeaking her telepathically, which had her coming towards them before he had even stood up

Honestly Kara was surprised the Hunith had managed to wait so long before her issuing her summons, even knowing that any woman raising Emrys alone must have the patience of the Mother herself! She brought her close woven blanket with her and sat cross legged before the composed peasant woman. “You called.”

Hunith narrowed her eyes very slightly. “You told me earlier to wait until he slept. He is sleeping now. Explain.” Kara nodded, careful to keep her posture open and relaxed. “Merlin is...special. Some children are born..uhm, actually I’m going to switch for safety.” Her lips stopped moving and her words were projected into her mind.

_ ‘Merlin is special. He is exceptionally powerful, even for a warlock. I’ve seen less than a handful who are true witches and warlocks, but their magic is different to others, it is a part of nature, and connects to the natural magic world around them. If he tries to dam it all up inside himself it sort of..obstructs.. A smooth connection. The plants and animals seek to fix the brokenness, branches and roots moving and stretching out to touch the young person, reeds and flowers leaning towards them without wind. Normally wild animals coming and following or accompanying them. All in all it results in many injuries by root and branch, and is a lot more obvious than simply letting it flow naturally into the web. The other complication is that warlocks don’t manipulate external magic, it is created, generated by them, and trying to contain it without proper training  _ always _ results in it either burning them up from the inside, or exploding outwards in uncontrolled bursts which are often destructive. Trying to never use it is like a slow infection that spreads, and it  _ hurts _. You are trying to keep him safe Hunith, you have sacrificed  _ everything _ for your son. More than that, and you’ve done it alone, but you are magic-blind and have no practical experience of it, this time please let us help. He didn’t tell you he was dizzy because he did not know that is not normal, he hasn’t told you he hurts because he doesn’t know any different, and he never will if he is forced to continue this. The stronger the magic the greater the risks, and I  _ don’t _ want to scare you he’s the strongest _ I‘ve _ ever seen. What I did earlier was help him let go, like after holding your breath for far too long, so that the roots and grasses would stop reaching for him and tripping the poor kid. That’s all, I promise. _

Kara let Hunith feel her sincerity and looked down at the boy who slept next to them, oblivious, “I would rather they take my life than his, or any child’s. I have seen enough pain for a hundred lifetimes already. You have my word.”

Hunith’s hands were trembling, and she hid them as she drew the druid woman into a tight embrace, her whispered “Thank you” reaching only the one it was intended for. “Kara, if anything  _ happens _ , take care of Merlin, keep him safe.” Wrapping her arms carefully around the mother of Emrys, Kara nodded. “Always.” Her silent vow  _ I will die before letting it  _ happen _ ,  _ went unspoken.

Hunith heard it anyway.


	4. Chapter 4

Aine wished there was a nice fire for her to sit at and stare into the flames. Watching flames dance was mesmerising, and she had resolved not to allow the abuses to make her fear the element. Watching was a distant reminder of what was at stake.

Once she had considered Nimue a friend. Less than ten years ago they had gladly shared meals when crossing paths, had laughed over the youngsters antics, gossiped about various lovers and liaisons. She no longer recognised that woman in the High Priestess, who no longer seemed to feel compassion, had come to view her people as tools, to be used as she saw fit. Aine had withdrawn and made herself difficult to find when she realised what path Nimue was taking, when she began to allow power to consume her _self_ , when she began to exalt herself and think she knew better than the goddess herself. Priestesses were often wise, granted great understanding, but Nimue seemed to resist guidance more as she became more experienced. _High_ Priestesses and Priests did not marry, it divided their loyalties too far, but consorts or more casual lovers were permitted.

After the loss of her _special friend_ to Uther’s demands for the second time, the woman had been obsessed with vengeance and trying to force the life and death balance to her will, and people died. Not anywhere near as many as at Uther’s hands, but Aine had been horrified and argued that one death was too many for such a selfish end.

That was the last time she had seen the woman and Aine had been careful to avoid Nimue’s attention since. That she had begun to seek Emrys did not bode well, and fortunately most of those who had heard had no idea that it was a child she was seeking. The most aware were the first to die in the Purge. Aine knew. She had lived for so many years as a Druid that few even remembered she was not one by birth. She had not felt the birth of the future Lord of Magic, easy though he was to recognise, but rather of the next heir of the Dragonlords.

That her son did not know of his birth was worrying, it told her more than anything the depth of his grief over Kilgarrah and their people. If Balinor was not able to protect Merlin, then she would do so in his stead, with the last breath in her body Regardless of her own wishes, Aine respected that Hunith had raised her son alone and it was her right to choose whether to find the child’s father or not.  The druidess knew well the conflict and pressure knowing one’s birthright put on a child, and was aware that it influenced her decision not to reveal to Merlin his true destiny, or rather, her unwillingness to do so. Isildur knew Balinor but was unaware of her kin connection, as were the others, that was safer, such information was worth killing for in too many people’s eyes.

Uther’s hate had not yet spread over _every_ border and there were a few that turned blind eyes to the last remaining refuges, especially those that were dangerous to the non-magical or those who meant creatures of magic harm. Aine knew that if they could get across one of those borders they could find a place that Merlin and Hunith would be safe for now, some small community that would help protect them, not simply for some prophecy, but because protecting a child from persecution was the right thing to do. It might not be a significant difference to Isildur yet, but Aine was old enough to know the huge impact such a _detail_ could have. Someone with the kind of power Merlin had must learn love, or become like Sigan, gaining their worth through that power, and knowing that others saw them as having value only as the all-powerful warlock or witch contributed to their pursuit of it.

Aine knew that in her own heart she had drawn a line between Merlin-the-boy, and Emrys the Warlock, temporary as that distinction may be. Both were a part of him, ultimately indistinguishable, as proven by the ridiculous grass drama, but he needed to be able to see himself as more than only his magic, and his magic as less than a threat. If they took him to the druids, there was a risk of them forgetting the _child_ behind the legend. If they took him to anyone without magic there was a risk of him rejecting that part of himself or fearing it as the magicless now did. If they took him to her family he would be too visible to Uther’s spies. For now she could only follow where she had been directed, and hope that there were others being instructed to the same ends. The druids could help him with his magic, but she wanted for him to have a balance in life, not be treated from early child as their destined saviour. It would mean speaking to Hunith eventually, but she intended to delay _that_ conversation as long as possible, relieved that the woman her son had chosen heard mind speech only when it was directed at her, unlike her Merlin. It was a natural gift that would be enhanced by his connection to the dragons, but if left untouched would atrophy, becoming a weakness to him rather than the strength it ought to be. Aine prayed that he did not inherit the Sight some of his ancestors suffered from- and in her mind it was _not_ a gift. _Magic_ was, but the _Sight_ was something different. All too often consuming a person, their sanity chipped away by having to interact with those whose possible futures they had Seen. Having to watch things occur they could not stop, or triggered unintentionally. It was a gift Merlin must have an understanding of as he matured. Dragons had the gift in a way that no other creatures did, but they were not human, and sometimes it could lead to complications. That was not going to be simple if they were to withhold many of the prophecies from him that would often be used for teach. Oh how she hated Destiny and Fate sometimes. She didn’t doubt their reality and truth, as some had been led to by Uther and his Purge, Destiny was bigger than one person, and Aine knew better than to fight something that was such a power within the natural world. Like a river it may be damned in one place, and would only be diverted, ultimately the water would always find its way to the sea.

The old woman knew she could have intervened earlier, but until the tiny village became unsafe for Hunith and Merlin, it seemed to be one of the least likely places that anyone hunting someone like Merlin would look. As long as he was invisible he was safer than on the run, or staying with magical peoples, once that invisibility faded, so did any value of them remaining there. She guarded her thoughts carefully, making her way over to the peasant woman and sleeping child, wrapping a cloak tightly about her shoulders as she sat down next to them.

 “He looks especially sweet this way Hunith, he must be tired to fall asleep with nary a protest.”

His mother smiled almost shyly, “Don’t they all? He was exhausted. The boy who told him a story is very good with children.”

Aine nodded in agreement, keeping her voice low, “He is. Devin has a lot of experience with them, Merlin has been good for him, and distracted him from his own grief I think.”

“Who did he lose? I didn’t want to ask.” She didn’t need to explain why.

“A little brother. Not too much older than your Merlin, but he was more like a parent to the child after the loss of their own. He sees some of Eonan in Merlin and it gives him hope, I believe it is reminding him how to love, even knowing that it risks one’s heart.” She took Hunith’s hand lightly, “And Merlin is impossible _not_ to love, isn’t he my dear?”

Hunith brushed the tears from her eyes, smiling back, against her aching throat, “He is, I don’t think he is capable of not seeing the good in someone or something. I warn him about hungry wolves hunting and he points out that they are only looking after little fuzzy babies. Tell him about poisonous berries and he looks at you oddly and declares the birds need them so people just have to leave them alone.” She chuckled.

“He told me once that he’s going to have a wolf of his own one day.” Aine startled, remembering to look amused only when she saw the Hunith’s apparent concern for her silence.

“Perhaps we can persuade him to stick to field mice and frogs until he’s older. He seemed fascinated by the spiders earlier, which are at least small.”

"Oh my gods, you cannot walk that child past an ants nest, he wants to watch them all day, it’s as though he slips into a trance once the third one is spotted. He never gets himself bitten or stung though.”  
Aine shook her her, her amusement genuine this time, “Oh he won’t, unless he starts destroying homes on purpose and provoking them. To an ant he feels like a giant ant, or a wandering tree.” She gestured around them, “Merlin is a part of all of this, and while he may not _know_ it, or fear the reality of it, he _feels_ it in his marrow. I’ve known enough adult Dragonlords in my time to hear it articulated. Usually ‘indescribable’ and ‘in my soul, I can’t explain’ are the descriptions, but as they grow there is something of an awakening, they become aware that not everyone feels or sees what they do. I can’t say what wolves would see, but I doubt any sane one would attack the bloodkin of a dragon.”

Hunith to her credit kept her composure, keeping her mild hysteria locked tightly away. Now was not the time. “What Kara told me. Is it true?” Hunith wasn’t sure why she trusted the elder more than the others, she _never_ trusted people easily, the difference made her uneasy.

Aine looked at her, questioning. “I don’t know what she said, but I doubt that she would lie to you. She does not do so unless in protection of those in her care, before the suffering, she would never have done so. Why do you ask?”

Hunith hesitated. Much of what she had seen and heard recently was unfamiliar, she took a deep breath, the way her brother had taught her. “You are able to speak into my mind.” Aine nodded, “Yes.”

Hunith looked Aine over critically before continuing, “Can you _enter_ my mind?” Aine felt like the breath had been punched from her. It usually took people longer to ask _that_ question, and the answer was risky. “I can. I never would, but it is possible. To do so without specific consent is considered as grievous a violation as to act so against someone’s physical body.”

Hunith accepted that with a nod. Closing her eyes for a moment she evaluated the risk of what she was considering offering, opening them wide as she reached a conclusion. “If I _invited_ you to do so, giving consent, would you be able to view a specific memory, were I to recall it.”

Aine was stuck by how quickly she had grasped the concept for one without magic, and accepted it. “Yes I could.” She didn’t want to influence Hunith in either direction, particularly while they were so vulnerable. “Do it. I want you to see what was said and tell me. Is it the truth. Or a lie of ‘protection’.

Aine saw how serious the young woman was, and knew that it was not a decision taken lightly.

“You must know that there are certain risks. I will not press, and will stay very lightly in the top of your conscious mind, but I cannot exercise control over which memories you show me. That part is down to you. Think only of that single conversation and it is all I shall look at, but if you are distracted or bring other moments to bear, I will see them, though you have my word I will not share anything I should see.”

Hunith pressed her lips together. “I understand. What must I do?”

“Sit comfortably, resting your hands on your knees might be best. Some of the most powerful can walk into minds freely, but for such precision I need physical contact. May I place my hands against your temples?”

Hunith took up the advised pose and mumbled agreement.

It was over quickly, and far neater and gentler than Hunith had expected given how important Aine seemed to think proper consideration was.

“No. She did not lie to you. I understand that it is not possible to trust people as once you could, but trust that Kara has your best interests at heart and wants to educate you about things Merlin doesn’t know. Everyone here knows that they are hunted. It is… We no longer leave much unsaid that must be spoken unless there is a right and a wrong time for that knowledge. Each and every person travelling, and almost all of the magic folk you will ever meet _expect_ to die young. At the hands of Uther’s men, or at the hands of those they have served if one day they fail to save someone. Young Merlin here, he already knows what it is to be hunted. You are learning what that looks like. His father has been hunted for years already. The way they treat their lives are not the way my generation did, as something precious and valuable. They are careless with them. I fear for the young of today, for what this lack of care may lead them to.”

Hunith’s fear must have shown as the old druidess reached out to place a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Hush now, teaching him and showing him his value is something that you are already doing. Don’t be discouraged. You are already fighting for him, you are strong Hunith. He will learn what _you_ live. Do not despair, and those around you will not. Hope is infectious my girl, live by it and others will see it in you, they will begin to mimic without ever realising, and by the time they do, that hope and courage will have become their own. As Merlin draws the love and goodness to the surface of all he meets, you draw their strength. I do not doubt you. Don’t doubt yourself.”

 The dark drew in around them as everyone settled down to sleep. Aine next to her, and Kara with a boy a few years older the Merlin, Devin on Merlin’s other side. Isildur was on the first watch, and wards set, the small handful of others lying down together on the bedrolls laid together.

As the pre-dawn light spilled over the land Hunith woke to a small boy squirming and claiming it was time for breakfast. If there was one advantage to outdoor sleeping it appeared to be that Merlin actually slept. Without nightmares.

The disadvantage seemed to be sleeping in one’s clothes for warmth.

It niggled at Hunith that the other child kept eyeing Merlin strangely, despite the adults showing no such reservations. They had all taken their cue from the Elder, and Isildur. If Emrys was to be treated as just another little boy while they travelled then so be it. The child had missed the unspoken message, and couldn’t help staring at the brightness and magic that shone from the new boy. It was hard not to stare, even when the adults, especially Kara and Aine chastised them, he _did_ know not to say anything. The boy seemed distracted this morning, looking towards what appeared to be his mother with worried glances, Hunith followed his gaze and her eyes widened in understanding. “Merlin, there is some dried fruit, and grains that were soaked overnight. Go and sit calmly and I’ll get you a bowl.” As he followed her instructions Hunith extracted his bowl and spoon from their pack, and looked around for Kara, seeing her standing at the side of the camp, looking more pensive than Hunith liked.

Serving her son, now sitting impressively still as he concentrated on not spilling it everywhere she sighed, hoping that this time he would manage, freezing just as she was about to walk over, instead turning to kneel and take the bowl, tilting Merlin’s chin upwards and being met by a stormy look that the food was gone. “No. Listen to me. Merlin, you are going to take this bowl back in a moment, and today you are not going to spill all of the precious food out of it ok? Even without a table. What you are going to do this morning is practise, like yesterday. Remember what Kara said? You have an extra hand, and it’s ok to hold the bowl still, as long as you remember to use all of them together. You must still use these two hands for eating, but it is ok to use the extra one to stop it falling if things are wobbly. I’m just going to quickly speak to her, and I’ll be back in a few minutes to see how well you did.”

She stood back up and moved quickly so that her son couldn’t see her shaking, after the first time she sanctioned him doing magic.

“Kara, I understand that you are the one to come to about plants, and I was wondering if you had any peppermint leaves or root ginger, there is a woman who appears to be having some trouble this morning and I would like to make her a tea to help settle her stomach if you had any. I am afraid I had to leave most of our stores behind and I didn’t anticipate the immediate need for those.”  Eyebrows raised Kara kept her voice as low as Hunith’s own. “Not for yourself?”

Hunith snorted, “Hardly, the last time was Merlin. I suspect it is too early to be widely noticed, but we really need to be moving as smoothly as possible. If you make it then it may catch attention as medicinal, if I do, perhaps it will be mistaken for me settling nerves.”  Kara relaxed, she had wondered but been reluctant to ask the woman they had found fleeing her decimated camp with a disoriented boy at her side. I have no fresh root ginger, only dried, but there are peppermint leaves that might work, or chamomile if that doesn’t. They’ll be in my medicine pouch, it’s a bit depleted right now. I usually collect as we’re moving, but since we’re in a bit of a hurry this time and expecting to have a rest when we get across the border, what with the distractions I’ve not been concentrating so much on those types of plants.”

Hunith shook her head. Silly to neglect your emergency supplies, but she appreciated caution when young children were watching if that was not the days lesson.

“Thank you, hand them to me when you can, I need to heat some water.”

Kara laughed softly, “For one cup you would build a fire? Ask Aine to heat it for you, fire is her strongest element, just take a cup filled with clean water to her and ask nicely.

Suppressing her habitual aversion to open magic Hunith nodded her assent and thanked the girl. Since seeing it more freely used Hunith had been forced to acknowledge her own rejection, for completely opposing reasons than that she hated those with magic, she loved her tiny warlock more than life itself, and she hated that the world was dangerous for anyone like him. Hunith had always thought magic beautiful, had she not she would never have given her heart to a fierce young dragonlord, but you didn’t need to have magic to burn, no trial would be held, youth was no protection. One day he would understand the difference, but as she began to adjust her reactions to avoid hurting the adults around her using magic, it threw into relief what she was doing to Merlin in her efforts to keep him from harm. No more. She would ensure it. Merlin couldn’t be allowed to use his magic freely, that was not the world they lived in, but she was _not_ going to flinch at his typical childlike mistakes, lest he misunderstand and think she was afraid _of_ her beautiful boy, rather than _for_ him.

Seeing it from the perspective of the druids had been eye opening for certain. Getting him to listen before had been difficult, getting a balance would be even harder. Yet as she returned to him Hunith found Merlin looking at peace, having spilled nothing from his bowl, and as he noticed her a bright grin lit his face as he waved it at her. “Look! Look Mummy! I didn’t drop anything, it’s _right_ .” She couldn’t help but grin back, his smiles were contagious. “Come on then. I need to get a cup of water and you need to wash your hands mister.” Merlin grimaced as he looked down, fingers sticky from where he’d scraped the bowl, he knew that complaining when mum had _that_ look wouldn’t go well so followed next to her, bringing his bowl and spoon to rinse at the stream. They stopped by their pack and rolled up the bedding, collecting Mum’s big cup on the way, an collected some water at the fastest running bit of the stream they had camped by. Merlin got an approving nod as she watched him carefully wash out his things without trying to use any magic, which actually felt calmer inside him than usual. That was odd. He should probably tell mum that it was different, but there were too many people. He wasn’t supposed to talk about it. Even if some of them _did_ seem to know already. He was supposed to be careful. That meant not with anyone who might see or hear. Mum had her ‘later, I have to finish’ look anyway. He hummed quietly and went to put his things in the pack there were three maybe-probably-safe grown ups, who felt a bit like Will’s mum. It would be nice to play with Will, maybe when they found a new home he could visit one day, but asking now would make mum sad, and he didn’t really want to think about missing someone now. He didn’t get to talk to many people often, so until they were gone he would enjoy these ones. Maybe one would stay so Mum wouldn’t be lonely.

 Kara was busy sorting something with Mummy now, and Devin was with Isildur, so he decided to go and see the old lady who was nice to Mum. SHe slept near them, and smelled of plants and fire. That didn’t quite make sense, but she didn’t seem to be upset, or hurt, so he decided it was probably ok for her to smell that way. Devin had smelled different when he hugged Merlin, more like wild things. That had been strange, but nice strange, like when he wasn’t looking but found wild strawberries. Sometimes Will’s mum had hugged him, but no one else except Mum did. He didn’t mind, much. Being touched when you didn’t want it felt _bad_ , prickly, so he wouldn’t try to make people do that. One of the men who attacked their village used to steal people sometimes, especially if he thought they were easy to take. Merlin was not easy, he fought and kicked, and when the man was too strong for him, suddenly there had been birds helping him, the kind who hunt, and the scary man had let go. When Merlin got free suddenly there had been wolves, he didn’t see what happened because the biggest wolf, the one with pups, had tipped him over and wrapped around him. He remembered how soft and warm she was, growling like she meant to say words. When she moved the leader had been next to the man who stole people, there was blood like when Will’s dad brought home rabbits, and the man-wolf was angry, but not at Merlin. He wasn’t sure how he knew that, he just _knew_.

He had run and hidden after, like mum said he should if bad men or the wolves came, and when she found him again he had told her that he would have wolf friends when he was bigger. He needed to be a bit bigger so they wouldn’t knock him over by accident. He knocked _a lot_ of things over by accident.

Merlin wasn’t sure why Mum was scared of wolves, they were good at being families, but thought maybe she had seen one kill a bad man, Mum was very clever, but maybe she didn’t know that the wolves he liked only killed the baddest of men, so she was safe, because Mum was _good_. He didn’t know anyone else who was as good as Mummy. She looked after everyone, even the ones who said nasty things to her. Something about forgiving people who didn’t learn any better, and showing them how. Merlin wasn’t sure that worked on everyone, but it was Important to Mummy, so he practised it very hard.

 Aine was aware of being watched. Almost every druid learned to be aware of their surroundings and recognise when they were being watched. Or followed. Going first to Hunith she gestured towards the cup, “May I?” Biting her lip she handed it over and the older druidess took it carefully, closing her eyes and muttering a few words of the old tongue over it, returning the water, now steaming and ready, to Hunith.

As the lady spoke Merlin felt warm, as though he ought to understand them. He sort of did, he didn’t know the words, but he could feel their meaning. He was missing something about them, something important, but just out of reach.

He’d heard some of the traders speaking in what Mum called ‘languages’ that he didn’t know, and this didn’t feel the same as the ones who had been in Gaul, or the strange tones of the Cornish. Those hadn’t felt like _his_ words.

These did.

As though something inside him was trying to wake up. He wasn’t quite sure if he liked it or not, but then Aine was in front of him, gentle and smiling, offering him her hand, and suddenly it wasn’t scary anymore. He looked up at the old woman and forgot the words, letting them go as he felt safer. He didn’t have to find the answers. Her thumb stroked across his palm.

“So deep in thought little one, is something bothering you.” Merlin screwed up his face in concentration. “No. Not anymore. It’s gone I think, the thing that was not mine yet.”

Aine looked at him, bemused, shaking her head, “Oh well, if it comes back again just ask. I like talking to you. Now, we have to move soon, I want you to make sure that you stay next to me, or Isildur, or your Mum. Don’t go away from us, not even a little bit. This place that we are crossing is very dangerous, so we must be very quiet, and very careful not to be seen. If you need to speak to me, or Isildur, or Kara, then use your special voice in our minds. We’ll answer the same way.  There are fewer things to hide us here, so it’s especially important to listen hard for warning, and until I say it’s ok again, I need you to try not to dance, the outside makes lots of people feel happy, but the plants can be squashed down then and it’s easier to see the way someone went. Have you played copying games before?” Merlin nodded, of course he had! “Watch how Kara and Devin move, and see if you can copy _them_. Then you can show me tonight.”

Soon afterwards they were moving swiftly, faster than Merlin thought he could ever move without falling, making him wonder if the druids were using magic. Mum had told him before about druids, but they weren’t supposed to visit. They were supposed to be secrets, in forests, and wear cloaks, but they were stories. Seeing the people from his stories he wondered if maybe he was _in_  a story. Maybe the old lady would know. She was nice and answered questions. Or Kara. She helped him not fall. Distracted, he promptly tripped over, skinning a knee, but when he looked down he could see an obvious rock, instead of nothing, or plants. His bottom lip trembled and he bit down hard, because they all had to be very quiet, he had been trying so hard to do it properly. He must have not managed because he found himself being scooped up by Mum and hugged tightly to her. “You’re doing so well my love, I’m very proud of you.”

Merlin relaxed against her a little, noticing now that he had stopped how tired his legs felt. As he did so Hunith felt the odd increase in weight of a child on the verge of sleep and grit her teeth to keep from slowing down. Too used to being alone and being offered no help she flinched when Isildur moved to her side and whispered in her mind, “ _Let me take him, the boy has done well to get this far, and there are still too many miles to go until shelter for us to stop and let him rest.”_

Cautiously Hunith nodded her agreement and handed over her sleepy son, at least this way she could keep pace with the druid man. She didn’t feel quite as easy with him as with the Elder druidess, or Kara, it wasn’t a fear she could identify, different to the ones she was familiar with of someone hurting Merlin or turning him in, but Hunith had learned to trust her instincts first and question them later.

As he drifted off Hunith noticed Kara casting looks their way and smiling, mirth dancing in her eyes. It puzzled Hunith, and Kara read it in her features, well versed in body language from journeys such as this one. _“He is dreaming, Hunith. He is dreaming, and accidentally sharing it. Apparently he has been thinking a lot about spiders, and dancing.”_

Nodding her understanding Hunith smiled back. Spending time with others who _understood_ made her wonder just how much she was missing about Merlin, that even when she was next to him, she could not hear his leaked dreams. They did not stop for lunch, or for a late snack, allowing only water breaks. Camelot was not a place to linger. Kara watched Merlin’s mother from the corner of her eye, concerned at the reaction she appeared to have had to Merlin’s broadcasting. Wishing that they were able to speak. Knowing it would increase their danger.

When late in the afternoon Merlin began to stir again Isildur let the squirming boy down without question and he ran happily to his mother, grabbing her hand and almost beginning to skip before pausing, was skipping dancing? He heard someone chuckling, but looking around no-one was, before he caught Aine’s eyes at the front. _“No dear, skipping is not dancing if we are all going the same way. It’s ok to let some of your energy out.”_ Merlin grinned at her, wondering how she knew his questions. _“Because you think loudly dear. We need to work on that. One thing at a time though, walking was more important!”_

Merlin knew better than to tell the grown ups he was hungry in the middle of the day. They already knew, because everyone felt hungry together, and there were lots of days when no one got food in the middle of the day. That was only for the little babies.

It wasn’t completely strange to have evaded detection so far, but the complete lack of indicators of any recent patrol was beginning to make Aine and Isildur slightly nervous, that was unusual so close to the border. As they began to look ahead for a reasonable place to make camp for the night it made for a somber atmosphere. Aine was looking at a slightly more sheltered area, the hill acting as a windbreak, when a small hand slipped into hers and a hesitant voice was projected into her mind. _“Is this better?”_ He managed to whisper.  
_“That is very quiet indeed Merlin. Much better,”_

He nodded, looking pleased, _“Is this...are we in a story Missus…”_  
_“Aine. My name is Aine.”_ Merlin hummed _  
_ “Am I in a story Missus Aine?”  The druidess considered her answer carefully. Merlin was in many, many stories, but he was not asking about those.

_“Yes Merlin. In the end though, we are all stories, aren’t we. If I were to tell you about my friend, then she would be in a story, and if I were to tell you about my own little boy, well he would be a story to you then also, would he not? It doesn’t make them any less real, or any more real either. I will one day be only a story that you tell to your friends, or to your own boys and girls when you grow up.”_

Merlin wrinkled his nose. _“I don’t want you to be only a story.”_

_“That’s ok. The Goddess does not always give us what we want though, only what we_ need _. If I am a story, then I am remembered. Just like anyone else.”_

_“Will I have friends like in the story Devin told?”_  Aine sucked in a breath, the story of the Once and future King and Emrys had to be the one he questioned.

_“Yes Merlin, I believe that you will, one day.”_ He stuck out his tongue, thinking.

_“I will tell him about you then, so he can remember you too.”_

_“I would like that very much, little one, but I am one story to tell only to those who are_ safe _.”_ The amusement she felt discussing with Emrys the stories and that he would tell the once and future king of her  washed away some of the worry.

Consulting with Isildur they decided on a site to camp and as the sun began to dip towards the horizon, those not setting up camp got the food out and distributed to all. Hunith sat on one side of Merlin and Aine on the other. “One more day will see us across the border to Nemeth,” Aine passed a plate of flat bread to the other woman, “That is a relief.” Hunith kep to the same low tones as the Elder. “Every moment here is one too long, I hope we will be safer there.”

Merlin tugged on Aine’s sleeve “Will you tell me a story tonight? You’re hair is old so you must know lots of stories by now!” Hunith flushed, “Merlin! It’s rude to say that.”

Aine cackled. “The truth is often not _polite_ . Yes child, I have old hair and have learned many stories. We cannot draw attention tonight though, so stories must wait for tomorrow.” Merlin pouted. Glaring at a clump of grass until it exploded, startling a squeak from him and a gasp of horror from Hunith. Aine sighed and brushed the dirt from his hair. “I suppose if it’s _that_ important, you _did_  manage to be quiet all day so nicely. Come, show me what you copied from Kara and Devin.” She watched Merlin intently as he focused on the task she gave him, not looking at Hunith as she spoke. _“How would you feel about me telling him a story in this medium? I could include you if you wish. Just_ think _the answer”_

Hunith considered. She did _not_ want Merlin to think that exploding things got you what you wanted, but perhaps after this day a distraction was needed for all of them. _“You may do so, but not if he demands one again, or argues.”_  Aine smiled, remembering having the same argument with herself many years ago.

When he had finished his demonstration Merlin returned to them, eager for their approval, and heartened to be granted it. _“Time to get ready for bed Merlin. Show me how well you can listen to your mother and I will tell you one of my stories, of a little boy much like you, who got into all sorts of tricky spots.”_

Merlin looked excited, _“The one you said was a story before?”_

_“That very same one dear._ If _you get ready nicely.”_ Hunith had never seen him _more_ co-operative. Hunith helped him get all settled in and allowed curiosity to get the better of her as she cuddled him close and listened to the tale AIne began to weave.


	5. Chapter 5

_ A long time ago, when I was just a wee lass, the world was different in many ways, there was magic in the air, and the land, and the water, but in some ways it wasn’t so different at all. It is a common mistake to forget that what you are born is not what you will always be. When I was a girl my family lived not so very far from here, though you wouldn’t see it if we visited now, the castle is gone all to dust. When I ran through the halls barefoot my father would chuckle and my mother would scowl. I didn’t understand until I was older why she did, and why she didn’t like me to climb trees with my brothers, or swim in the river without a maid. You see noble girls, just like now, were expected to be neat, and obedient, not strong, or wilful, even those with fathers like mine, and  _ all _ such girls were expected to marry a man who their family chose for them. _

_ I was fourteen summers when someone was chosen for me, there were few enough suitable options at that time. He was a good man, powerful, said nice things to me, but I didn’t know him, and he didn’t respect  _ me _.  _

_ He was not like my brothers or my father, who loved the woods and the air, who would tell stories at campfires as often as not. I begged my father for time, for a choice. _

_ I was not born a druid, yet the goddess led me to this life, and I have lived happily thus for many years, when I was young I was brought to it, from a life that offered what many people want, but was a prison for me. My father had lived with some creatures of magic as a youngster and he granted me my freedom without censure. I think he believed I might join the priestesses, but that wasn’t my calling.  _

_ Later I would meet a wonderful man, who loved the sky more than the forest floor I danced over, he never chained me, and I never clipped his wings, we just made sure that we always came back to one another with joy, and our greatest joy together was to be a son. He had dark hair like his father, and dark eyes, that smouldered like coals. So serious looking until he saw something funny and would laugh so hard that everyone would laugh with him. We took him to visit his family, but he was always most at home in the woods. I taught him when he was your age Merlin, to tickle fish out of the river to bake, and he would want to help cook them, of course just because someone can catch a fish doesn’t mean they can make it taste good. _

Merlin frowned, who could spoil fish?

Aine lifted one brow,  _ “The same person who thought moss was greens for eating. He only had to make that mistake once. _

I _ once had to eat a fish he’d baked with two full garlic bulbs, apparently he didn’t know if I’d taste just one, and had served it with a daisy-tea because he got chamomile muddled, but he was so proud of his gift I had to drink some! Well after that he had to stay on the ground for two whole weeks until I knew he could tell the difference and not muddle something important up. I caught him upside down against a tree claiming that it didn’t count since his fingertips were still on the ground. _

_ He loved stories, just like you do, but his favourite ones were those which we sung, he had a lovely voice, sweet and clear like a bird, his adult voice is rougher, more like his- more like his friends, you can hear that he has been shouting over the wind and weather now. It shows how he has grown. When he was but a small boy there was a bird who made friends with him, and would come when he called, if he put out some seeds or grain, the raven would eat right from his hand, and I think that was his very first best friend, but oh how he howled when that raven didn’t come one day, he’d found a girl raven to court you see, and we didn’t see him again until spring, with his chicks following behind. It was hard the first time, but that spring the boy began to look not just to one or two things above him, but to all of them. He studied the robins and the peregrines, the owls and the starlings, the songbirds and the hawks. I think you would have made him smile Merlin, he often liked to pretend he could fly. He had to learn to be very very quiet too, not because others were trying to catch him, not all those years ago, but because the birds he loved might think he was a predator, watchful because he was hungry or cross, not because he was curious or felt admiration and thought them beautiful. Sometimes, Merlin, people hide to avoid frightening gentle things, or they hide so that a real predator doesn’t spot what they want to protect. My boy. He was the king of hide and seek, you would think you had looked everywhere, be about to call out to end the game, and would hear a rustle or crunch, and he would just drop out of the trees, right in front of you. I found him out at eight summers, he’d been irked at staying behind when a hunting party left, and decided it wouldn’t happen again, so decided he needed to learn stealth. Not like a  _ normal _ druid boy, oh no, he decided to learn it by copying a wildcat stalking prey. He could vanish up into the branches faster than I could track him after a while. Of course it gets a lot harder the more you weigh, the branches won’t hold him up anymore.” _

_ “Does the boy have to hide now?” _

Aine chuckled _ , “My little boy is a man now, remember, and yes. He is like us Merlin.”  _ More than you know, she thought.

_ “He still loves the woods, though he walks different forests now, he did not come back to me, so that his hunters could not follow him here. He is a special guardian of a sort, like his father was  before him. One day I will see him again, on this side of Avalon’s shores or the other, and no matter how far we may be from each other, he is in my heart always. You will find, Merlin, that it is the one thing all mother’s have in common.  Not everything we say will make sense, and sometimes we even speak in anger, but it will never change our love for you. Just like when my son leapt out of a tree and landed on a freshly made up tent, oh how I yelled! But it was fright for him crashing and not looking before he leapt, like when you were cross and just glaring made the rock explode, and it made your mother afraid for you. I think you scared yourself then, didn’t you.” _

Merlin nodded _“I didn’t know I could do that. I never mean for it to happen.”_ There was a tinge of awe and fear of himself in his tone  
Aine nodded in calm understanding, _“I know Merlin, sometimes feelings are so big it feels like they just have to go somewhere doesn’t it? Or you’ll scream, or explode. That’s ok, even people_ without _magic feel those things, because we are all the same inside, with love, and anger, and fears. If you wanted, when you are calm, I could help you learn a better way to push the extra magic when you feel like it’s too much to keep in. Right now, if you hold my hands and breathe deeply, in and out like when your mum listens to someone’s chest, I can guide some of the extra back into the earth, that way the flowers will just look a little more bright. Big feelings don’t just destroy my dear, they can create wonderful, beauteous things too._ She held her hands out, flat palms upwards, and waited for him. She could still feel the magic coiled inside him, spikey and jagged, ready for an attack.

_ “Just place your hands on mine dear, I won’t grip, it’s in your control, you can pull away or stop anytime if it gets bad, or if you just don’t like it. This is  _ your _ magic, and when you feel frightened it gets frightened too, when you feel angry, it gets angry too, so we’ll practice, I can feel your worry in your magic, and you don’t have to be. I like you Merlin, and you like me too, don’t you. So I know you wouldn’t want to hurt me, and that means your magic knows it too.  _

_ Well done, just like that,”  _ Merlin reached over and slid his small palms over her callused ones,  _  “Did you know it’s pretty? Yours is a light, bright gold, like a little bit of sunrise. Feel your skin on my skin, how warm it is. Listen and hear the soft breeze blowing, now close your eyes dear. Tell me, can you hear your heartbeats?”  _ Merlin squeezed her hands firmly.

_ “Good. I want you to count them with me, and you are going to let just the extra bit bubble up and over the side, like water from a pot. Your strong feelings heated it all up, and knocked the lid off the pot, so now I want you to just let it slip down the sides, there you go, and it’s safe, no more boiling magic, I’m just letting it run down into the ground now. It’s quieter now, isn’t it. “  _ Merlin nodded and gasped. It was quieter inside him.

_ “Now it won’t stay that way, because  _ you _ won’t, but if it feels like it will explode again, you come find me and I will help you use it to help something, not explode it or set it on fire. Just like I had to help my little boy have to do. He was older than you are, and even though he knew it would happen one day he still worried when he was new at directing it. All you need is practice.” _

_ “It isn’t buzzing anymore missus Aine, it’s humming and soft.” _

_ The old woman smiled. “And what do you feel Merlin?” _ The little boy wiggled around to hug her,  _ “Quiet. Happy I think?” _

_ “Good. Perhaps tomorrow we can have a different story, no exploding things if we have to wait though, deal?” _

Merlin looked at the old woman. She had mum’s look of Don’t Argue with Me. It must be something you learned when you got to be someone’s mummy. Will’s mum knew the Look too.

_ “Yes missus Aine, I promise. I’m sorry.” _

Aine shook her head,  _ “Don’t be sorry child, mistakes are part of learning, only be careful, we don’t want you to hurt.” _

She looked at Hunith who she had ensured heard everything and caught sight of her slight pallor. Merlin followed her gaze and scrunched his little face up  _ “Mum? MUM! Are you ok?”  _  Merlin froze as he realised he wasn’t talking the usual way, perhaps that was what was wrong.

“Oops, Mum?” He pursed his lips and looked for a cloak, blankets helped people who were cold.

The transition to verbal speech broke his mother’s reverie as she pulled him down again towards her, “I’m fine love, don’t you worry about me, worrying is my job, remember? For Mummies, not little boys. Your job is getting muddy and finding interesting things, and practising your sneaking I think. Not in trees until you have mastered the ground though.” She gave Merlin a stern look, but it wasn’t her cross one so he giggled, glad that she wasn’t hurt like he’d thought. You’ve had your story, and even had held from the nice lady to feel quiet inside, time for sleep now.”

Merlin dozed off long before either his mother or secret grandmother.

Hunith broke the silence between them, Aine daren’t, being highly conscious that she had encouraged something that she hadn’t intended to initially, when she had sensed the distress and frustration inside the young warlock. She wondered what he had done before now with the anxiety, shoving everything down and taking the responsibility he should not have had to. Perhaps learning responsibility this early was necessary because of who he was, the sheer power he had, but he wasn’t learning to balance it, instead taking the damage inside himself. 

“Thank you.” The low whisper wouldn’t disturb the boy between them. It startled the older woman.  _ “I shouldn’t have shown him without checking with you first.” _

Hunith watched her carefully, “No, but you did something for him that I could not have. Talking him down is easy enough, but what you did...” She paused, “He is at peace, without tears, and he is too young for waiting until later to always work. You would spread ointment on a wound without first coming to check and leaving him in pain, I think you did the same here. Next time though, warn me first, if he’s distracted he won’t notice. I want you to teach me how. Maybe I can’t _channel_ _It_ , but I’ve always been his calm voice; you told me not to doubt myself, so give me the words to show _him_ whatever it is you see. Every little boy believes his mother knows everything, trusts that they are infallible, though it fades. I saw the sadness in your smile, but you are here now, so help me protect _him.”_

_ “Give you the words? My girl they are already there in your heart, only accept his magic is in his soul, and you will know. You said it already, you are his ‘calm voice’, you are his home, his shelter. Just shelter  _ all _ of him. Little uses will hone his control of his magic, diminish the fear of himself. You’ve already begun, you don’t need me telling you how to love him. _

Hunith returned her gaze steadily. _ “No, but I am _ asking _ you for the techniques you used with your  _ own _ son.” _

_ “I used magic Hunith. I demonstrated it for him.”  _ She sighed. _ “Do you truly wish to see? The woman glanced down at Merlin sleeping next to her and tightened her jaw. _ Sitting up she adopted the same position as the night before. “I assume you will need to do the same as before since I cannot walk in your mind”. There was regret but no bitterness to her tone,

_ “Yes” _

_ “Then do so.” _

Aine placed her hands lightly against Hunith’s temples again, praying that the resemblance between their boys would be less obvious to one not looking for it as she pulled out a memory, Balinor, older than Merlin by a few years, but after his magic began to develop, when he realised what would pass to him, how much of his life had already been written before he even drew breath. 

He had run from them then, angry and hurting, gone deep into the forest and screamed at the sky as though the joy of it had been stolen. Aine had given him some time before following his trail, he wasn’t like Merlin,  _ no-one _ was like Merlin, but he had as little choice in what he was born to be. Hunith was listening as she saw the druidess approach her son and sink to her knees next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “ _ I know it isn’t fair, and it is a lot to think about, but no one is going to make you choose. You need not choose only the ground, or the sky. Look around you, the trees in this forest. The ground we stand on feels like a solid divide does it not? You would say we are at the bottom of the tree _ , _ but that is not the full truth”. _ Her hand drifted over and across his back soothingly, _ “Take a cleansing breath and place your palm flat against this bark, good, feel it, feel the life force and let your own meet it, you can feel me here with you, and like this, I want you to follow it down, feel how the roots go deep down into the earth, you see we are already halfway up, slide alongside me and sense it stretching branches as high into the air. They connect the sky itself to the earth, spanning two domains. Let the earth show you how and you will find a way to balance yourself. You are like these tall oaks, child, that link the earth and the sky. She stretched her magic alongside his, stable and unwavering, almost stroking his. Like this my boy, when everything is in balance, it should feel like a still pool, or a flowing stream. The anger you feel at the lack of choice is common, but think for me, was it an anger at what you must one day learn and do, or that you cannot decide to abandon that?” _ She saw the answer in the way he froze and seemed to understand something. 

“ _ What you must do are the things that you already love. Realising that your blood predisposes you to delight in them does not make them less joyful, the adventures less thrilling. The goddess made mothers to love children, if then I am simply predisposed to love you by design should I abandon you in the forest?” _ Balinor looked at her, trying to imitate his father’s ‘you are being ridiculous’ look, “ _ that love is no less rea _ l”. Looking about the clearing he had finally been calm enough to note the scorch marks and smoking patches  that surrounded him and clung to her, remorse tangible. “ _ No, that won’t do, come on, before your father follows us and thinks he has to have a chat with another young one. Stretch out your hand like this and draw the heat from it, give the earth a chance to cool. Excellent, and the same over here, reach out, and take just enough  to make it safe.”  _ And he did, focusing on the calm, and following only one instruction. “ _ The leaves are gone, once a life has been taken or used, it cannot be returned, so next time you’ll do better and avoid them. Stop analysing for a moment and just  _ feel _. Something you touch, something you hear, something you smell, something you see. There. Much better.” _

Aine ended the memory before Hunith could clearly see the face of the child.

Hunith was silent after, lost in thought, and the old woman in her own. Isildur had taken up his post as watchman and everyone huddled close together as the temperature dropped. Hopefully it was the last night they’d be without a fire to stave off the cold for a while.

That night it took a long time for either woman to fall into an uneasy sleep.

 

Merlin blinked awake slowly and curled tightly into his mother’s embrace. He didn’t want to get up yet. His breath hung in the air like little clouds and the grass shimmered, sparkling as a pale rays of pre dawn light touched it. Finally his bladder won over his wish to be warm and cuddled and he squirmed free, waking his mother in the process, prompting a groan. After two cold nights everyone was stiff, but they couldn’t afford delays, not here, after following Merlin to the designated spot and washing their hands, the pair worked together quietly, as though they were just getting ready to head up into the fields, and a pang of longing struck Hunith. For all it’s innate dangers, Ealdor had been their home, and the rhythm of life familiar, very different to their new situation.

Merlin could see something was bothering his mother, but it didn’t feel like something asking would help with, so he didn’t. Instead he brought their bowls over, a cup, and the water bag. “Someone’s hopeful.” Hunith smiled down at him, “Go on, I think there’s some gruel, and maybe oatcakes. We’ve a long walk ahead today, but if we get on it, then we should be in someone else’s land by nightfall, and if we make it that far, we can have a proper fire and meal again.” She took her own bowl and cup from Merlin and thanked him before he scrambled over to the source of food.

Aine cracked open her eyes to see Hunith watching her intently and sitting upright noticed the cup and waterskin. “Shall I warm that for you or would you rather not?” She raised a brow and received a filled cup swiftly, “When you have not just woken we must talk Aine. Last night you did as I asked but.. Something was wrong. It felt different than before. You were hiding something.  Everyone is at risk here, and we all have secrets, I understand, but there are things being hidden here that are important and involve Merlin. I want to know what, and why. You found someone else but you were waiting for Merlin and I when we left, you already knew we would be there. Keep your own secrets if you wish, but the secrets about us I want to know.”

Aine returned the heated water with a serious look. “We get across this border and I will answer any questions you have insofar as I can.” Pressing her lips together thinly Hunith nodded her acceptance of the proposal. “Tonight then.” Knowing now where the leaves she needed would be, Hunith fetched them from Kara’s pack as she oversaw breakfast, and set them to steep, noting the same woman as before was avoiding any possible movement. By the time the infusion was ready for her, Merlin had finished the meagre meal available  and returned the rinsed bowl to their pack. Hunith handed the tea smoothly to the nauseated woman with a wink and a concealed finger to her lips. The surprised and grateful look made her extra task worth every moment. She  _ had _ missed this. Even keeping  _ nice _ secrets for someone, the type you couldn’t die for. There was something special about that. 

The group stayed as quiet as they had been the day before as the moved off, leaving no sign of their presence behind. Merlin stayed close to Hunith as they continued to get further from his home and the terrain became increasingly unfamiliar. He wasn’t afraid, but he knew that Mum was right about not wandering off somewhere strange, and was still nervous about accidentally exploding something in front of anyone he didn’t know well. 

They walked swiftly, trying to maintain some cover. Usually the sun was welcome after a cold night, but today it felt as though it was almost betraying them, shining a light where they wanted to be hidden. The sense of being watched intensified as they travelled, spurring them to move faster, stopping only  for sips of water, and allowing the children some travel cakes on the move. By early afternoon Merlin was struggling and was once again picked up by Isildur for a break, sleeping against his shoulder, and by late afternoon the Camelot border was in sight, the promise of some measure of safety, later Aine would curse that they allowed it to dull their senses for the few minutes that the Camelot border patrol needed to surprise them. 

The brief look she caught of the leaders face was of it crumpling in disappointment, sadness, as though he’d been hoping to avoid such a situation. Then someone was screaming, and she was too busy to think, only react, the screaming woke a tiny warlock who’s eyes blazed gold as he saw someone get close to his mother, then the knights were flying backwards, two cracking their heads on the rocky ground as he felt their life forces dim. Hunith grabbed Merlin as Aine screamed in her mind one command.

_ "RUN!" _

So she did, adrenaline and desperation to escape fuelling her so that she didn’t notice the absence of any other sound or motion until they cleared the next ridge, and felt her small son’s back arch in her arms, tears and sweat streaming down his face, a gold glow rimming his eyes, fear stark in them.

“No, no,no,no,no. Stay with me Merlin,  breathe, stay with me, it’s ok, you have to let go.”  Hunith thought back over the last days and took a deep calming breathe, “Merlin, I’m here with you, right here, and I trust you, you can’t hurt me, you can’t hurt us, because you love us, and your magic loves us too. You are safe, Let go baby, I’ve got you, just breathe.” Holding him closely Hunith stroked his face gently, his hands, and the silence shattered as the world resumed. She pushed the shock and awe at the realisation of what he had just done to the back of her mind, she could deal with that later, now she could hear sounds of fighting. That was wrong. Only two of them had been armed, and with no weapon that would be enough to hold off a Camelot patrol. There were footfalls, and gasps as someone tried to suppress the sobs and not tell the hunters easily which way they had scattered, Hunith didn’t look to see who it was, she just hoped to the gods that the child and Aine escaped. No-one should suffer this way, but Aine had information she needed and hadn’t obtained yet. Isildur might tell her some of what he knew, but she got the feeling he might also use information to manipulate people, including her, though he was clearly under Aine’s authority and not keen to challenge her apparent leadership. Hunith had long since become pragmatic about hard choices and learned to separate sentiment from practical need. She could choose in which order people’s survival mattered without being guided by emotions.

With Merlin aware of surroundings once more they ran, until they could run no more in the direction they had been heading, leaving the sounds of fighting far behind, and taking shelter in the first reasonably sized cave they came across. With fewer people tonight they couldn’t do without a fire so Hunith set about building one to keep busy, noting finally that it was the older boy, and Kara who were with them. She felt numb. They had been so close to escape, how could it end this way? So abruptly.  In such a short time she had come to value a few people more than she had dared for a long time, and now she remembered why she avoided it. So much had happened in such a short time that her mind did not know where to begin sorting through it.

Merlin was silent, pale and detached, and yet it wasn’t fear that had such an effect. At least not fear of being alone again, but then  _ he _ wasn’t alone, he had  _ her. _

They huddled together in the gathering dark, as close to the fire as wouldn’t burn.

When a disturbance was heard near the mouth of the cave, Hunith felt for the short dagger she had brought, the only weapon she had against any attacker.

The sight that met them stopped her heart in her breast and robbed her of breath, as the dagger slipped from her fingers and stuck dirt. 

“What is this? You tell me this minute, or on my life you will regret ever coming here tonight.”  As Aine and Devin appeared behind them, covered in grime, sweat and mud, and what looked like blood Hunith’s sight went fuzzy around the edges and she swayed on her feet. In all her imaginings of how an escape from Ealdor might go, or where the road could take them, this certainly had not been on her list of possibilities. Nothing could have prepared her-  _ them _ anyway. A small hand slid into hers and wrapped tightly around her fingers as mother and son drew strength from one another.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a little nervous about posting this one.


	6. DA6

“I am sorry Hunith. It was never meant to be this way, I had meant to come back, I swear it. I missed you every single day, but Uther’s men were closing in, and I couldn’t put you in his way, I thought that by staying away it would keep you safe, I could lead them away from you.” Dark eyes flicked over to the little boy half hiding behind his mother’s leg, with a conflicting look of fierce determination on his face, as though he could decide whether he needed to defend his mother, or hide from the stranger. The man knelt down in front of him, looking smaller and less frightening, though he still wore the dirt of a fight. Mum wouldn’t let him in the cave like that.

“Hello, and what is your name?”

Merlin watched him thoughtfully, he knew not to give his real name to people he didn’t know, but mum had recognised them so… “Merlin. I’m Merlin.” The dark eyes went wide at the quiet response and his head jerked up to Mum who stood somehow taller. The man swallowed against an ache in his throat. “That’s a beautiful name. Merlins are one of my favourite birds, and they are very clever. I saw what you did today Merlin, and it was very brave of you to save your mum like that, even though you didn’t expect it like that.”

Merlin shook his head, tears forming, “No, no it wasn’t brave, I was scared, I was scared and then they were gone, and their lights were going out and I couldn’t stop them, I couldn’t stop it. Then I was with mum and we were somewhere different. It changed and… Where did everyone go?” There were tears streaming down Merlin’s cheeks now and he fisted his hands in the cloak the man wore, panic beginning to show as the day caught up with him. Hunith was moving to intervene when a strong hand wrapped behind Merlin’s neck and drew him in towards security against a broad chest. “Ssh, you did nothing wrong child, nothing. You protected everyone and I am so proud of you. It’s ok to be scared. It’s ok to be sad. No one likes to feel the lights go out, but you saved her, and then she saved you right back. Your mum is very brave too you know. I bet that’s how you learned to  look after people. To be brave you know, when inside you are frightened, that is called courage, and it is a rare thing indeed.” Merlin was wrapped in strong arms and lifted gently, it wasn’t like being picked up by the druid man, or by mum, when he let his head fall against his shoulder it felt solid, safe. He smelled different too. A bit like Devin, but more grown up, it was like being wrapped up in the woods and the wind, and the warmth of a fire. The man was oddly hotter than most people, which was confusing, but _right?  
_ After what he had done he was still scared. Not of the men, he was scared of what _he_ had done, what he had discovered he _could_ do, and if exploding rocks was bad, then exploding himself  
must be worse? Maybe? But mum had not been scared of him, she had told him to explode, but that didn’t make sense because she didn’t want him to do magic ever, and now there were people, and that was wrong because there mustn’t be people to see them, they had to stay secret or they would all hurt. As Merlin’s thoughts began to whirl Aine stepped forward and place one hand on the man’s shoulder, and one against Merlin’s cheek, “Breathe little one, slow down, like we did before, Aine looked towards Hunith “ _You asked me for next time._ ”

“Feel the leather under your fingers Merlin, the smooth and rough bits, feel the heat against your skin. Listen for his heartbeat. Can you hear it? Merlin gave a jerky nod and squeezed his eyes tightly shut, still hyperventilating but beginning to calm, “Well done little one, can you match it with yours? Listen for your heartbeat too, and when you find it- well done, there it is- breathe together, in and out. She waited until Merlin’s breathing calmed, and spoke again, “Now, tell me what you can smell.”  
Merlin whimpered. “Take your time. You are safe here.”

“I can’t missus Aine.”

She nodded, stroking his hair, “Ok, shall I tell you what I can smell then? I can smell you Merlin, and the smoke from the fire on your clothes, and I can smell sap, and grass on somebody’s big clumpy boots, and the woods from some leaves in his hair, I can smell the leather, and the wool underneath, and I smell your mother beside us, because you are safe Merlin.”  
He looked up to the old woman, “You missed it. I smelled all of those things but there’s blood too, and something zingy, like...like salt but not, and honey, but not that either, or ash, and it’s not quite right either.” The man’s eyes opened in understanding.

“It’s magic Merlin, you can smell my magic underneath everything, and the other part of me than can’t be seen with eyes. That’s a special gift.”

“I don’t want it. I have too many. You have it instead.”

Hunith reached out to him, “Oh Merlin, that isn’t how it works love. You cannot just give them away. Besides, how would you know who the right person was.”

Merlin turned to his mum, “Because their magic feels like it fits.”

“Does it?” Her left eyebrow crept upwards.

“Mmhmm. Fits with mine too.”

Hunith shifted uncomfortably and Merlin stretched over to her, twisting around so that he was able to switch adults. Hunith relaxed once her son was back in her arms, a slow anger burning in her gut when she looked at the others. She knew that it wasn’t their appearance that triggered Merlin’s panic, but they were not completely blameless either.  
Arms looped around his mother’s neck  Merlin tilted his head, the man hadn’t taken his eyes off him. “Who are you?” he asked, his natural curiosity remaining despite the days’ turmoil.

The tall man cleared his throat, eyes flicking briefly to Hunith’s face, finding it shuttered, “My name is Balinor, and I am a good friend of your mother’s, I stayed with her for a while, but it was before you were born. I would have come to meet you before but there were some bad men I didn’t want to follow me to your home.”

“Like in Missus Aine’s story?”

“I don’t think I’ve heard that one before.”

“If you ask nicely she might tell you it.” He looked at Aine and frowned. “Not until she is washed. Mum won’t let anyone in so dirty. I had to wash my hands and face too.”  
Hunith smiled tightly at Balinor when he stated that he was her friend. They definitely needed to talk before saying anything more to Merlin.

“Mister Balinor?”

“Not a mister, s- Merlin. Just Balinor.” Merlin nodded, chewing on a thumbnail,  
“Did they follow you to us now?”  
A deep sadness showed in the Dragonlord’s features. “No, Merlin, _I_ followed _them._ They can’t hurt you anymore, not ever.”  
Merlin stopped gnawing on his thumb and seemed to look into the man’s soul, stilling as he did so, “You put out all the other lights.”

Balinor wished it could have been different, but he knew the men of Camelot. He had _been_ a man of Camelot. They would never have stopped pursuing them his voice was quiet as he answered. “I had to. They knew what all of you were, and I couldn’t not let them take you, or your mother, or Aine.” Using his mother’s name as he knew that Merlin had not been told of Aine’s relationship yet, and they were all exhausted already.  
He bit his lip and looked up at Balinor, trusting his mother to only be friends with someone who was like the wolf. “I know. Like the pack, you kept us safe.” He shook his head. “Your magic was not happy remembering.”

Balinor tilted Merlin’s chin up gently, “I didn’t take the light away with my magic. You are right, it does not like that. The goddess knows though that sometimes you cannot save everyone and must make a hard choice. Today I chose you and Hunith. I will _always_ choose you both.”

He stroked Merlin’s now thoroughly ruffled hair as though he expected him to blow away on the wind. _“I will always choose her too.”_  Balinor’s eyes widened slightly as he realised that the mental whisper had been directed at him alone.  
He blew out a measured breath, he had seen many terrifying things, but today had been and would likely always be the scariest day of his life. He had had an idea after he saw his mother trying to hold off some tainted knight, and a woman fleeing with a child, he had known that Hunith was among them as she had told him, worried about how he might react otherwise, but his mother hadn’t said anything of the child. He hadn’t dared consider the possibility that it might be _his_ child Hunith ran with, after all it had been years since they were hand-fasted, and she had always had more compassion than anyone else he’d met, determined to help everyone in need. Even _him_. Crusty and grieving, she had still thought he was worth saving.  
He’d even hoped in his darker moments that she _had_ moved on, got over him. Found a nice man to settle with who would treat her well and see how beautiful her smile was, walk with her in the evenings, raise the child she had wished to have one day.  
Seeing her now, he could never imagine another in _his_ place, and that place was at her side. Whether she would allow him near though was another question, and he was very aware of how precarious they were right now.

If it had been simply he and Hunith he had no doubt about what would have happened, and the outcome, but Merlin changed _everything_ . He recognised himself in his son almost immediately, and could sense the slumbering part that would one day wake when he became a full Dragonlord. That she had named him Merlin gave him hope. Even in his absence, and her apparent  sense of betrayal Hunith had given their son the name he had mentioned when they were speaking of possible futures one spring, he wanted to name their children after the birds, for freedom, and because they were always _meant_ to fly. Something sweet or chattering for a girl, and a raptor for any boy.

She had remembered and given Merlin a part of _him_ to keep, not knowing if she’d ever see him again, if he was even still alive.  
Balinor spoke softly to his son, and the woman who still held his heart, carefully, knowing that he could not allow his true feeling to show until the two of them had an opportunity to talk alone.  After all, until this evening he hadn’t even known he _had_ a son, let alone the position his family had been put in, something he felt crushing guilt for, but _that_ had to wait until later too. For Merlin’s sake he had to keep up the pretence of only a close friendship with his mother, lest the rift be too deep for him to heal. Surely Hunith had to be in almost as much shock as he himself was, so keeping things practical and simple as much as was possible seemed the safest option for now.  “I had better go and wash my hands and face then before we ask to come sit by the fire, and Aine too, your mum is a wise woman not to let such things into her shelter Merlin. She keeps us all right.”

He looked again to Hunith, noting all of the tiny changes in her appearance and dipped his head politely before speaking, “I know this place. There is a sacred spring not far from here. I would appreciate the chance to wash properly and offer a prayer if you do not mind my lady. We will not take long.”

Balinor figured that being more courteous rather than making assumptions was the better option in this situation.  
Hunith controlled the contradictory emotions raging inside her and nodded curtly. “I shall put on some water to boil, since we are rather restricted right now. Do _not_ make me worry, and be _careful_  both of you. If either of you get yourselves killed going off, I will drag you back through the veil to kill you myself.” Both winced at her tone, and agreed swiftly.  
Balinor slipped an arm around Aine’s waist and steered her away, towards the sacred place he knew. In unfamiliar territory Hunith had no idea where she was running, but the Dragonlord  
recognised the hand of some unseen guide, and try as he might, Uther could not kill every type of magic.  
He almost didn’t hear his son’s voice asking as they left, “Does this mean no story tonight Mummy?” He didn’t hear Hunith’s answer as they disappeared into the trees.

_“Come out and see me, I know you are there.”_ A golden haired nymph and a naiad with cascading silver curls stepped forward to greet him, wearing only their teasing smiles. Balinor was _not_ in a playful mood tonight.

_“You always were one to seek the spirits of the forest.”_

_“What are you doing with my family, and why?”_

_“You truly don’t know, do you, great Dragonlord. You cannot see what they are!”_

Balinor growled _. “Not_ what, who _. They are not some game for you to play, an evening’s entertainment. Play games if you must, but my family are not a part of them. Ever. If I find you managing and trying to trick my son, you will_ wish _you had taken on Kilgarrah himself.”_

A silvery giggle answered him, _“Aah, and how_ is _the Great dragon? Enjoying his new accommodations?”_

_“Impatient. Angry. Likely to eat any nymphs or naiads I give him leave to pursue. Kilgarrah will not be chained forever, no one can capture the sky. He allowed himself to be subdued, and his thoughts and reasons are his own. I want your word on the Old Religion, that you will neither seek out, nor torment either Hunith or Merlin. If you wish to offer them guidance, you_ show yourselves _and speak, not tamper with minds or attempt to draw them in otherwise. Once made, if you break your Oath I will know, and so will She.”  
_ His arms were folded firmly, as much as anything else to stop him from reaching for his sword, one of less than a handful in existence that worked as well on nymphs as it did on knights.

The naiad sighed. _“So boring now Balinor, so serious, where did your laughter go?”_

_“Likely the same places as your security. They have started to burn the sacred glades. You know this.”_

_“Of course. Then you also must know that we would never allow any harm to come to your son._ He _is our hope. Nevertheless you have my oath. I will never toy with the boy or his mother, and  
_ _will respect their minds. If they allow, I shall aid their endeavours. This I swear on the Old religion, and in the presence of the triple goddess."_ There was a crack of thunder. _  
_ _"There. Are you satisfied now Dragonlord?”_

The nymph watched him closely, and seeing something rolled her eyes.

_“Ooh, she is not just the mother of your_ son _,_ she _is special. You_ love _her,_ only _her. Fine. You have my oath also. In the eyes of the triple goddess and Old religion I swear to be very careful of the next Dragonlord and his mammy ok?”_ Balinor glowered, _“Ugh. Alright. I give my solemn word to only protect them, not play with, or intentionally manipulate them and never to cause either the peasant woman Hunith, or Em- her son harm. May the triple goddess be witness as I swear upon the old religion which we are_ both _subject to.”_

_“Thank you.”_

He meant it with every fibre of his being. The water spirits and forest spirits could be either great allies, or terrible adversaries, but more often they just got bored. Creatures who lived as long as they did had to do something to entertain themselves, and sometimes they used humans like live chess pieces. They were rarely malicious, but often mischievous, and none of their group could withstand that, really it was a miracle they were all still standing, if not a little bruised and battered. The blood on his person was not only that of his enemies.

“Please, will you allow me to wash in the water of your spring, and my mother that we may go and break bread together. If you are sincere in not wanting to torment the child I need to wash off the smell of blood, he was understandably upset by it, and I suspect noticed my own wounds, though his mother has not yet.”

“Cleanse yourself and go, Dragonlord. We know you will respect the sacred space.”

Balinor bowed to the spirits and obeyed, quiet as he focused on the peace of the springs.  
Aine stepped forward from the shadows. Having allowed her son his time with them uninterrupted, she was content to wait.

_“So you know who Merlin really is.”_

_“Of course. All the creatures of magic know Emrys. He is unique.”_

_“Do you know why my son does not?”_

The spirits seemed to confer for a moment.

_“We do not. It is possible that the dragonlord aspect of his nature overshadows his identity as Emrys for other such men. It is possible that only one aspect of his nature may be sensed by a creature, we do not yet know. He is still but a child. As he grows his father may come to sense the Emrys._ Or _Balinor may simply be denying it through a desire for his son to_ not _be Emrys._

_After all, he knows the prophecies as well as any other dragonlord.”_

_“Why did you not tell him.”_

_“What does it matter_ when _he finds out? Time is more fluid than you humans think, such short little lives you live, he will discover his son’s full identity, but it is not our destiny to tell him.”_

Aine _hated_ destiny. As a concept, as a person. It was not a popular position among the druids, but she couldn’t help herself sometimes. She had seen how her son wrestled with his, and how much simpler that was than her grandson’s- she really did have to hurry up and get back to the little cave. If naiads she did not know personally knew about that, then Hunith definitely needed to be told, though she rather thought it may have been guessed by now, the woman was no fool.

_“Go. Wash in the spring and return. The woman and child are waiting.”_

They were right, it was more than time for them to be returning, she took a rag from the pack she had managed to save, and soaking it in the water ran it over herself, rinsing away the grime, wishing she could do the same with memories. Saying a quick prayer for the souls of those who died today. They may have stood on opposite sides today, but some she saw were acting against their wishes, and they had been loyal to each other. It was never pleasant to end a life, but to save her family, she would, and had. It was an act she believed the mother  would understand, taken to protect her children. As Balinor and Merlin were bloodkin, Hunith had become like a daughter of her heart.

As soon as she was satisfied that it was done she left the pool, and quickly dressing stood beside her son, wishing she could do something about their clothes, the spirits must have heard as they were suddenly next to her, casting an eye over them both and tutting, _“This once, since the little one was alarmed. Be more careful in future.”_

There was a hand waved over each of them and a pleasant, rosemary like smell emanated from their clothes.

“Thank you. Thank you very much my lady.”  
  
The walk back was silent, neither wishing to disturb the peace, both wrapped in their thoughts until the light came into view and drew them back to the present.

“ _This isn’t going to be easy you know.”_

_“I know mother, I know, but a wise woman once taught me that nothing truly important ever is.”_

_“That wise woman also taught you never to treat a heart as a possession, and to handle them in a considerate manner.”_

_“You know I could not stay. What they would have done to her… gods mother, the things I’ve_ seen. _”_ She could hear his voice breaking and the obvious _‘the things I’ve_ done _’_ that went unspoken as fractured moments of memory slipped through.

_“I know love, I know. You had to leave, but it’s been almost five years now, and you haven’t been back, or you would have known about Merlin. You could have sent her a message.”_

He shook his head and swallowed back his tears _. “I couldn’t risk it, there was no-one_ left _to trust. Even if there had been, there are witch-hunters scouring the land, and enough desperate people now that you don’t have to be suspicious for someone to turn you over. Being a traveller is enough, and if they had been carrying information about any connections.... Before this I would never have believed myself capable of killing a good man over something which he cannot choose to ignore, and now I do not even hesitate if there is a threat. After so long, the first time I met my_ son _, I came to them blood soaked and filthy from a battle. What if… what if she cannot forgive me mum?”_

Aine slowed next to him and looked up to him, the sensitive boy she had raised peeking through the brave and careworn man, the sheer loneliness he exuded leaving her cold and making her heart ache for him.

_“I cannot answer that for you my son, but I think you underestimate her. Hunith has the heart of a warrior certainly, but she has a greater wish for peace than war, more like Arianrhod than the Morrigan, and has missed you as much as you have her. You are both hurting and raw, you will have to earn her trust back if that is what you desire, but the woman you chose has a greater capacity to forgive than you give her credit for. Don’t give up on one another before a word of reconciliation or remorse is even spoken. Go to her, son, I will occupy Merlin, she may be angry with me for what I kept from her, but she is also sensible and aware that you both need to speak alone before anything else can happen. Go. She knows we have returned.”_

Aine gave him a gently encouraging smile and tugged his sleeve.

_‘Goddess give me the strength.’  
_ As Balinor came to a standstill before the woman who held his heart, Aine swept a yawning Merlin into her arms and winked at Hunith a quickly sent _“I haven’t forgotten, for now I’ll keep him out of the way.”_

Merlin hugged the woman who liked him and felt _right_. “I can get a story tonight?”  
 _“You forgot something little one.” Merlin pursed his lips and his eyes widened in understanding “May I have a story_ Please! _”_  He smiled at remembering himself.

“Of course you can, it has been a hard day for everyone and you did amazingly. Ah, brilliant, the shelters are up already, You and I will just settle in behind the windbreak over there. What shall we have tonight _?” She switched to silent communication knowing that Hunith had heard the assurance that they would be out of sight and mind._

_“A story of the stars, or about animals, or about people?”_

Merlin hummed and unconsciously stretched his fingers. He’d had too much of people today, good people, bad people, new people, it didn’t make sense.

_“Animals” he said with certainty._

_“Well then animals it is.”_ There was a resounding crack of skin on skin that made Merlin jump, but Aine showed no reaction or concern so he cooried up to her and _listened._

_“Now I bet that you have already heard all about the Big Bad wolf, a clever boy like you, but has anyone ever told you about the_ good _wolf?”_

He shook his head, no, no-one ever talked about _good_ wolves. Or actually _any_ good carnivores, which was sad really, because they couldn’t help what they were born. They were a lot like him really _.  
_ Aine had expected as much, _“That’s a shame, because there are a lot more good ones than bad. Not that they know any difference, unless they choose to run with the gods._

_Wolves don’t think like you and I, not with their minds, they_ feel _, with their souls. A wolf cannot act in malice, but it can remember an act against it to avenge. They will fight for each other, every single one of a pack will fight to protect one another, but none more than the alpha female for her young. Wolves make humans feel strongly, as they do, drawing the wildness we hide deep in our hearts to the surface, and we know that it makes us vulnerable. The wolf you see, is the protector of the wild things. Dragons protect the magic, but the wolves protect all of the wild ones bound to the Earth, it is why they may attack adults, and make sure to protect a lost child. Like every wild thing, they must be respected, for nothing can ever be truly wild and safe, the river for example Merlin, gives life, and flows where she will, is a home to thousands of creatures, and sustains those that live alongside, but the river is wild, and can flood, or change course. If we ignore her warnings and cross into the rapids, a person can even slip from this life to the next. The wolf hunts to provide, and when humans are willing to share the Earth’s fruits, there is harmony, it is only when man tries to drive magic and wildness from the world, when he_ _becomes selfish and hard that we are in conflict. The gods and goddesses of our land command any animal they wish, it is only the wolf they_ invite _and allow it’s head, for they trust the wolf to follow it’s heart to protect and to fight equally. A pack is like a family, and we humans named them something different, for to use the same words would remind us how similar our natures are, and it is far harder to fight something when one understands it. Division, Merlin is vital for the creation and keeping of hate. So when one wolf did go bad those trying to banish the wild things told everyone of the harm it did, forgetting all of the others._

_Never judge every creature, Merlin, by the actions of one._

_Now there have been many good wolves, but the best was a mother, in a forest far from here.  
_ _A woman had gone gathering, one cold autumn day, theirs was only a small community and every meal was carefully planned. She took along her two children, as their father was away, one about five or six summers, and another a little younger than you. Just old enough to sneak away after the sweetest blackberries while his mother was distracted by his sibling, stopping him from making a dangerous mistake. Well, just then there was a great roar of thunder and as they ran for the closest shelter they realised that the children had not run in the same direction, they had been separated. The stream that the little one had wandered by, following the sweetest berries, began to swell, and he was nearly washed away when it burst its banks.  There was a wolf den close to that place, and the mother wolf heard the cries of a distressed child, lost, she did not stop to wonder whether the child was lupine or human, but ran towards the crying of a lost soul. She saved him from the rising water. Carried him as gently as if he was just another pup back to the den, and there warmed him up, all snuggled together with her pups. When the storm passed his true mother came out with his brother, and searched for her youngest child, but finding the place they had been gathering flooded completely, empty, and all signs of the boy washed away, he woman believed her son lost forever. Weeping and brokenhearted she returned to the village that night, without her youngest boy._

_He however did not know this, for he was sleeping peacefully in the wolves den the Alpha wrapped around him and the warm bodies keeping the cold out. When she realised that he was alone now, the mother wolf decided to continue to look after the boy, and raised him for many years as her own, and as he grew, he saw the litter he had been raised with as his brothers, he played with them, ate with them, bickered, and ran with the pack. One day, when the boy was almost, but not quite yet a man,  he was with them and they met a young man out setting traps for hares and pheasants, at first the young man reached for his knife, expecting an attack as he saw them together, but as his fingers wrapped around the hilt he saw their hunting companion._

_Now the boy living with the pack bore a mark on his shoulder, one that each of the boys in his_ _family had shown, so when they saw each other the hand at his belt fell, because naked as the younger one was, the mark was clearly visible, and matched the man’s own exactly. The pack alpha, seeing a threat bared his teeth, but his mate stepped forward calmly and showed him she trusted the man. Despite his fear, the man knew he had to at least try and show his lost brother who they were to one another, and lowering himself to a non-threatening crouch. Knowing what he was about to do was dangerous he did so anyway, he had to try and bring him back to their mother at least, so removed his shirt and tilted his neck._

_The young wolves looked to one another confused. Humans knew that they were hunters. Perhaps this one was damaged, to bare his throat to them. It would hardly be fair to hunt in the same place as one who had no idea of safety, knowing themselves to be skilled._

_The female alpha, who his brother saw as Mother understood though immediately. After years of seeing the similarities of marking in her own pups, she saw what the man was trying to show them as he pointed between his own shoulder and their rescued human. She looked and knew it was time for him to remember. He would need his own mate one day after all._

_In the years that had passed the memories of his life with humans had faded, so the Mother wolf walked out, making herself as non-threatening as a wolf ever can be, and licked at his hand, telling her adopted son to follow. As they met for the first time in years, the older brother stretched his hand out tentatively, and the younger copied the action. When their skin touched it triggered the return of his hidden memories and the oldest was pulled tightly into a hug. That day he left the pack who were his family and returned with his brother to his village, and was reunited with his first mother. There were many tears, and much joy that day, but his human family were forever grateful to the wolf pack for saving him, and would sometimes leave gifts._

_They stopped hunting the wolves and using their fur to stay warm after that day, finding a balance between themselves. For the rest of his life he would always consider himself to have two families, and after the dedication of the Alpha wolf, so did his brother.”_

A soft smile was on Merlin’s lips as he relaxed into a dreamless sleep, resting in the warm embrace of someone who loved and protected him, and as worried as Aine was for her son and his beloved, she couldn’t help but enjoy the moment, while allowing them their space to work things out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, reunited, but not all resolved.


	7. Chapter 7

The sorrow and pain in Balinor’s eyes was not enough to stop Hunith as she slapped him across the face  _ hard _ . He’d been alone, and hunted yes, but she had done the same while raising their son without him, and hiding her own pain from Merlin.

“What are you doing here Balinor? Why now?”

Balinor, Lord of the Dragons, sank to his knees before her and grazed her knuckles with a kiss, salty tears falling freely.

“I need the truth Bal, everything, I need to know why you left me behind, where you’ve been all this time. In the beginning I thought you’d come back, thought you might return when you could, but you never did, and my hope died. I didn’t even know you were alive.”

 

Balinor watched her, focused entirely on her. “I know. I had intended to. I never thought things would be… I expected it to be simpler. Lead them on to a false trail, maybe make it look like I had been fatally injured and spread some rumours.

While I was in Ealdor someone became suspicious of me and began to threaten to harm you. I couldn’t let anything happen to you, and then there were rumours about the king’s men so close. After I left I started to find the consequences of this genocide, many children have died at the hands of Uther, Hunith, but far more have been left unguarded or destitute  as a result of their parents and guardians being victims. There are plenty of unsavoury characters in this world happy to profit from their pain. The bandit attacks on the roads, and in border towns are the least of it Hunith, closer to the centres of this activity, and where one can seek work I found men claiming to be  _ traders _ . They were trading children, and for the worst ends. I..I killed the men the first time I saw them paying to  _ use _ a child. It was stupid, untidy, too traceable. I freed them, but we had to run, one was sick from neglect and died shortly after, I managed to place the other girl with a tanner and his wife. It’s an unpleasant job, but that means the smell discourages all but the most determined from intruding, and the woman had lost her own child to pox the previous winter, she begged me to allow them to keep the girl and her husband was happy to see a spark return to his wife’s eyes, agreeing. She remained willingly with the couple, chose a new name to live by, and was beginning to gain some weight. 

After that I found that while Uther had turned his anger on  _ us _ , the true criminals had thrived in the chaos he wreaked. Bandits mop up some of those who have been made homeless, offering succor and community, whilst sending the desperate men- boys really- to do the riskiest jobs, slave traders have been intruding into lands they wouldn’t have ventured to before, as by law it is banned in Camelot, though Cenred’s laws do not address it. Most I could not help, but there were enough, I told myself, that perhaps I could do some good if I could not be with you. Some of the children I managed to free, and one of the women, are living in a tiny settlement in Nemeth, I was on my way there with news when I came across a Camelot patrol  going the same way, the same patrol you met earlier, and followed them because Uther no longer regards the borders with as much respect as he once did. I made many enemies Hunith. I began with many enemies, and have made more, making some of my previous boltholes unsafe. I saw what the women they stole were subject to. The men of Camelot have done even worse, but at least their victims were eventually granted to mercy of death. I couldn’t bring you into that, even if I could have been certain of  _ not _ leading such monsters to your village, and they  _ were _ monsters Hunith, there was.. There is a part of this time I am not ready to speak of, I don’t know if I ever will be, but I was two slow once, and it cost me dearly. For that reason I cannot in honesty say I regret leaving you behind, but I will always bear remorse for the way I left and the pain I caused those I love. Especially to you my love.  

I knew if I had returned I would not be able to stay, and I was a coward Hunith, I couldn’t bear to see you only to leave you again.”  He paused, throat feeling like it was full of glass, “I had no idea about Merlin. I should have known. I was always careful before you, not to risk anything, never to risk fathering a child, never to fall in love. I know what my family’s legacy is and I did not wish to force that on anyone, or expect to burden another with it. Yet you made me forget it all, all of my certainty, all of my careful detachment, you broke through it as though it was nothing. You stole my heart and made it your own, turned my life upside down and my soul inside out. You saw everything that I was and accepted it, saw my deficiencies and accepted those too. I knew then that I could never love another, only you. It’s always been only you. I may not have expected Merlin, or been prepared for being a father when I came here today, but when I saw him next to you it was like nothing I have ever felt before. Like finding someone I never even knew was missing and finding my chest not big enough to contain my heart. I have failed you both in the worst of ways and no words will ever be able to undo the hurt I caused by leaving and staying away, but I am so very glad that you are his mother. It is a privilege just to know you Hunith. I can see you in him already, your compassion and care for others, and your indomitable spirit. If you cannot allow me… If you are unwilling for him to know that he is my son I will not fight you, you have earned the right, but I beg you to allow me to be a part of his life, and of yours  in whatever way you are willing. You asked me for everything,” he shook his head with a bittersweet smile, “I failed you, because I never should have let you live in doubt. I cannot give you that because you  _ are _ my everything. Without you there is nothing of me left. My body may live on, bonded as I am to the dragons, but my spirit would long since have withered and died. Whatever you want, if it is in my power to give, it is yours.”

Silent sobs shook Hunith’s frame as she knelt down before the man she had never stopped loving, even on the days she had hated him.

“Hush. How can such a wise man be such an  _ idiot _ . I don’t know what to tell Merlin yet, I need to think clearly about it.” She was momentarily robbed of breath, “ _ We” _ she breathed the word, “ _ We _ need to think about it. Oh goddess and gods. You’re here. You’re really  _ here _ ,” Hunith dragged him into a fierce, grounding kiss, claiming before he could somehow slip through her fingers like steam. Drawing back she kept her fingers touching his face almost reverently and searched his expression. “I don’t know whether I can tell him the truth yet, but of course you can be in his life, whenever it is safe, however it is possible, he will know you.”

It was as though his heart started beating again, without him ever having realised it had stopped, and he rested his forehead gently against hers. “Thank you Hunith. I am more grateful than you’ll ever know.” He was quiet for a moment, simply soaking in her presence and the wonder that she was still there. 

“You named him after a hawk.” Balinor couldn’t prevent the grin that spread over his lips, and Hunith huffed, “Well you did say our children would be born to fly. Let’s just say that I was given a hint at  the time of his birth.”   
“I like it. It suits him. Definitely a better name than Peregrine.”

“Most things are.” Hunith leaned into him, needing the assurance that he was solid and present and  _ not leaving _ . “Tell me something Bal,”

“Anything” he murmured, Hunith took a calming breath, “Who is Aine to you, and what does it make her to Merlin?” 

Balinor nodded, it was a question he’d been expecting at least. “She is my mother. When I disappeared, it wasn’t only from you, she didn’t know I was alive either, at least not from me. She has ways of knowing things at times, has her own  _ different _ gifts. It makes her Merlin’s grandmother if you wish to allow it, a friendly old crone if you do not, and his fiercest protector aside from yourself. I would add myself second, but she’s had a lot more practise. I will not leave you and Merlin unprotected again. Ever.” She might not have taken him seriously but he was absolutely sincere.

“Your mother. Right. I had guessed that from the way you both were earlier, but I needed to hear you admit that. I think she’s been trying to gently prepare us for finding out, or at least discovering some of it. She was supposed to talk to me tonight once we crossed… gods she was going to explain who she was to Merlin wasn’t she, that’s why she agreed to after he went down.This is all so…. It’s all complicated ok, and there are things that I don’t understand, and things that are being hidden from me. I have to know that you won’t do the same, that you won’t conceal things from me.” 

Balinor didn’t answer right away and she narrowed her eyes, “Bal, this _is_ a deal breaker. You asked to know Merlin as your son, and I said I need to think clearly, I can’t have any more than a friend who will hide things like this from me. There will be things concealed from Merlin, there frequently are things hidden, he lies fluently, and uses redirection more often, he dislikes full lies, but if something affecting his safety is known, _I_ _have to know._ ”

Balinor nodded. “I want to promise you this, but I have learned the hard way that information is not always extracted from someone by their own free will, and that you can find yourself doing things you never thought possible. I cannot make that vow and be certain I will never break it Hunith, for his own safety.”

“Like you left for mine?” That still hurt.

“Yes.” His voice was firm, “Like I left everything I loved for yours. What I can promise is that I will never withhold information that I am certain of and is not taken out of context or half of a whole that could do more damage than good. I can swear on my life if you wish it, that I will never withhold information that would protect him, that I will tell you honestly the answers to your questions, without any lies, and if asked something I cannot answer for one reason or another- such as it not being my own secret to keep, or being dangerous to share before a certain date, I will tell you honestly that I am unable to share that with you yet.

Do you understand now why I am unwilling to agree to your request. I would rather be over-cautious when it concerns my family, than reckless, and I would rather not have lost friends to mutual friends sharing information with a spouse that amounted to conspiracy. You found it difficult to trust and I worsened that severely, but you are not the only one who has been damaged and scarred. You know that. 

I was raised among people who were often forced to measure the value of and need for certain knowledge and information. There were some who had to stand back and allow what they had already Seen happen, or risk something else, something worse. It is not easy to live that way, and sometimes people make the wrong decision, sharing things without understanding the context. I saw someone burn because she didn’t  _ know _ she was repeating part of a prophecy, she had no idea, was trying to help, and they burned her, she was only twelve. As a Dragonlord I have responsibilities love. The dragons are not bound by time the same way humans are and see the future and past much the same as the present, but not everything Kilgarrah said is safe or  _ wise _ to repeat. It’s something we’ve argued over before. Loudly. If you cannot accept this I understand, but it is a part of me that can’t be set aside. As you are a healer. If a woman came to you for certain medicines, you would choose not to tell her violent husband, and if a young man came to you after an assault he wished kept confidential, you would do so. One would not be your own secret to share, and the other would be dangerous.”

Hunith nodded slowly, clearly not fully convinced. “I see. I can’t promise to accept this happily Bal, but I am willing to try if you are serious about what you are offering.”

“Completely.”   
“You said that killing men was untidy and traceable. What happens now, Merlin and Aine defended us with magic.”

Balinor looked away and sighed, “I have had more practise than I’d like now at adjusting such scenes. They do not look as though they fought magic now. I made sure to kill without using it, and the scene has been left to look as though they were attacked by bandits, after all it is close to a border, it’s not the first time a patrol was lost that way. Isildur is laying a false trail that will lead to what will appear to be an abandoned bandit camp, and will give what dignity he can to the man who dies protecting his wife and friend,  he will lead the two to the same place you go, the man is a master tracker.”

Her lips pressed thin, “The lights he spoke of, Merlin killed two of them, didn’t he.” Balinor looked angry, “Merlin  _ defended himself _ against a full group of men attacking unarmed women and children, he should never have had to react in terror.”

Hunith’s muscles relaxed very slightly, “No. None of this should ever have happened. You want to hide it from him, don’t you?”

“Don’t  _ you?  _ He is so young Hunith, he didn’t intend to harm them at all, and when he is older he will understand. Merlin knows what he did Hunith, in his gut he knows and he is afraid of himself. They were close to death, and would have died within minutes but I finished them. Technically their end was at my blade, as two of their companions were, the last fell to my mother’s fury. She knows how to fight and make it look as though no magic was used, and they attack her grandson and my beloved. We would have caught up to you all sooner but it had to look real. I stripped the bodies as a bandit caravan would have for authenticity. When they are discovered it is not us they will look for.  Aine or Isildur will return to place rags and warnings if needed after their bodies are retrieved.”

She swallowed. Later when Merlin asked if he killed them she would tell him that Balinor had. He would examine her face and tell her she was lying.

“Ok. That’s.. Well, that’s not good, but I am glad that you have been cautious and they will not think to look for  _ us _ .” She paused, “Did you know any of them today?”

Balinor closed his eyes, “Yes.”

“Before this madness were they good men?”

His eyes stung “Yes. I trained one of them. He recognised me as he died on my blade.”

She wrapped her arms about his shoulders for a hug, “I’m sorry Balinor, I know you cared about them.”

He shook his head, “They all made their own choices, the responsibility for one’s actions cannot be abdicated. It’s more that he was so young. Owen was  _ so young _ Hunith. Used to come and watch us training, dragons never amused him though, he loved the horses. If he hadn’t been born a noble, raised to become a knight I think he’d have been a stable boy. Would have been better for him if he had.” Balinor’s voice was rough”

“You didn’t have a choice. Not once you were here.”

“I had a choice Hunith. I chose you and Merlin.”

 

Hunith was quiet for a long moment. “Are you still going to the place you intended before you ran into us all?”

He nodded, “Yes. I have to, I could bring you with me? It would be a good place to rest for a few days at least.”

“I don’t know, Aine seemed to have a destination in mind, I don’t want to cause Merlin more upset than necessary, he’s been through enough.”

“Mmm. Yes, we need to discuss that with her. There are many things I don’t understand yet.” He stroked calloused fingers through her hair, dishevelled from the hard day, allowing himself the moment to revel in the feel of her so close to him. “You are beautiful. The first time I saw you dancing you took my breath away, and I don’t think I’ve ever quite recovered. There is a lot we need to talk  about, regarding Merlin. I don’t know how much has been explained. When he did...what he did earlier, after you managed to escape with him, what did you think he was doing love?” Balinor was very careful to keep his voice soft and neutral, not wishing to hurt her further, and afraid to make any assumptions.

“He froze things of course. He told everyone he couldn’t make it stop.”

Balinor’s jaw tightened and his brows knotted at the offhand reaction,

“Is this- has he done it before Hunith or was that the first time?”

She shrugged, “Oh he’s done it before, but he’s been better this past year, he’s learning not to  now as it’s too easy to see.”

Balinor pushed away his concerns about  _ that _ for now, “Almost Hunith, but no, that’s not exactly what he did. Merlin… Merlin stopped  _ time _ Hunith, he didn’t freeze  _ things _ or  _ people _ he froze  _ time _ . The birds stopped, but did not fall from the sky as they would if only they were frozen, the shadows stopped shifting, and it was completely instinctual, without him deciding consciously, because you could still move, I could still move,  because I was protecting you. Our son  _ accidentally _ stopped time, and he is scared it could happen again, no one has explained or assured him that he can fix it if it did. I understand why mother brought him this way instead of any other. There are too many people who would wish to turn Merlin into a weapon if they knew he existed, including the priestesses who shelter some of the surviving young witches, and it would destroy everything that makes him  _ Merlin _ . They would use you against him and destroy you too in the process. She is- or was, depending on your decisions- leading you to a place that he would never be collared, and would be less obviously out of place, where your skills would be welcome, both in healing and practical living, and he could learn control without losing his childhood. There are fewer than a handful left, but Albion yet lives, and she knows where to find them. What he did today isn’t obvious, no one realises there was gap, because it never happened for them, he created a kind of..  _ Bubble _ in time around us.”

He looked at the woman in his arms and her shocked expression and sighed, he knew well that it was something no child ought to be able to do, had never been done without extensive study, and she had no idea at all, they couldn’t speak about that yet.

“The world does not exist in such a way that only humans shape it. There are other races, other creatures, spirits that care little and others who take their amusement from us. I told you earlier I knew this place… well I went with mother earlier to the sacred spring for washing, and there I spoke to a couple of- I suppose you could call them old friends. This is an Old place love, and it is guarded by spirits, they led you in this direction without you realising, calling I think to Merlin, because it was the correct way, instead of you finding yourselves running further into danger. For whatever reason, and they are not sharing that with me, they have decided that you both need to be protected, I extracted an oath from them not to invade your minds or manipulate you in future. They must speak to you in future and cannot go against an oath of the old religion, you know how  _ those  _ work.” The wind began to pick up.

“Are they watching now?” 

Balinor shrugged. “I don’t know, I haven’t been paying attention to anything but you.”

“Check you ass! I don’t actually  _ want _ my private life being dissected by bored dryads or fae, or whatever decided to come along.”

“Um, I can’t, not outside of a sacred grove or such, it’s not one of  _ my _ gifts.” Balinor shifted uncomfortably.   
“I’m not sure whether to be disappointed, or glad to discover a limit in one of you.”

“We all have limits dear. Even those that pretend not to.”

“Well then, can you speak into minds, like your mother can?”

“ _ Like this? _ ” 

_ “Exactly like that.” _

_ “You think this will look less obvious if someone is watching?” _

_ “No, I think it will frustrate anyone trying to listen in, possibly enough to give themselves away.”  _

 

There was a rustle as someone flounced off back to his tree in a huff at suddenly being locked out of a conversation that he’d been enjoying, there wasn’t  enough amusement for him these days, though it was odd that they seemed to think Emrys was a bird. Perhaps he should correct them? They could be unsafe. 

No, it they were going to start refusing to entertain him with their little human drama he wasn’t going to offer them help with understanding something so basic…

 

Balinor shrugged, it was easier mentally anyway.  “ _ I have to be the bridge for you right now, but if there comes a time that you are willing to accept me as more than a friend, I could establish a permanent link of sorts. Not where our minds would be completely connected, but so that there would be a kind of window, or tunnel, you can yell at me through, at least enough to get my full attention, or warn me of anything. That would be up to you though.” _

 

_ “Have you done it before?”  _

_ He pursed his lips in thought, “No, never had the cause, but I’ve seen them in use in relationships before now to significant effect.” _

_ “Would it allow you to warn me of approaching threats before they reach Merlin and I?” _

He cocked his head to one side before answering,

_ “The link is unnecessary for that, I can call you without it, it would enable  _ you _ to contact  _ me _ without delay though.”  _

Hunith paused, looking pained, _ “Then why didn’t you before?” _

_ “Unless it involves dragons I have a limited range, as do all but the very strongest warlocks and high priestesses, a couple of villages away is really by furthest  _ reliably sustained  _ distance, and I  _

_ did once. You were closed, and in such pain, you didn’t hear me so I assumed that you were mind-deaf. It’s not unusual for those without natural magic or druidic blood. Knowing you couldn’t hear or sense me I didn’t try again, it would be a violation. Those who can’t hear have almost no mental defences.” _

It made sense, but that didn’t make it hurt any less, and Hunith had had a very long time to wonder, to guess why he had left, a long time for emotions to torment her, wounds to fester, even in one as forgiving as her.

_ “Years, Balinor, you were gone for years and left me with Merlin, alone. I do not regret our son, he is my joy, and my purpose, but it has been  _ hard _ Bal, and  _ lonely _. Once they knew I was with child, no-one would welcome me, they may have known we were hand-fasted, but I was unwed and you were gone, with no reason, and I had no-one, mum was gone, and I couldn’t contact or ask Gaius for help, that was too dangerous. There was little support after I had Merlin, and what was offered I couldn’t accept because they might have seen his magic, people quickly stopped offering and I was no longer welcome at gatherings, old friends thought I was rejecting them, and no one bar Edith and William accepted Merlin because no-one  _ knew _ him. _

_ He has never had a man take an interest in him, not before your mother and Isildur found us. All of this… it’s the closest to a family he’s ever had. Some of the villagers took joy in tormenting him, others it was just what was expected so they didn’t resist… didn’t do the right thing… What could I have done Bal to change it? There was no-one we could run. Gods, I don’t even know where we were running when we left, just away, away from Ealdor, and Camelot, and  _ memories _.” _

Balinor wished he could change how Merlin’s first years had been, for both of them, but there was no way to go back, and fleeing with a non pregnant Hunith would have doubled the complexity of hiding, and to do so with her carrying a child would have put her at high risk, both of being remembered, and of complications, something Balinor was certainly  _ not _ trained to deal with. Merlin and Hunith may have had their challenges in Ealdor but they had had a measure of stability that could never have existed in the life Balinor had been forced into, taking shelter in caves, being hurt for information he never gave. Merlin would have been used against him. Men willing to do deals with witch-hunters or kill strangers simply for coin rarely had morals about age of their victims. Balinor couldn’t accurately guess what he would volunteer to protect his own son. 

_ “So if you stayed and endured despite all of that, what made you leave without a clear plan beyond escaping?”  _ Hunith looked at him openly, wondering how to explain it all.

_ “Betrayal.” _

_ “What happened?” _ __   
_ “Our existence put someone at risk, and the hunters sent someone to Ealdor one too many times. People fear what is different, need resources. Any or all of those. Whatever it was, they wanted us dead, the destroyed the emergency stores I had set by. Oh my gods, they really wanted us dead.” _ She felt a wave of nausea roll through her, finally letting herself feel the horror of that, not simply relegating it to an objective fact. _   
_ Balinor held her close, willing her to accept his own strength and care __. “We’ve been on the move since.”

_ “How did you know in time?”  _ Hunith blinked, she hadn’t really had the luxury of working things through, the time or the opportunity. _ “Edith. She came to me late one night, warned me that there had been a disagreement and I had to take Merlin and run. She knows. I mean… she didn’t say that exactly, but she may as well have. She was my best friend, the only one who stayed close after Merlin and allowed her son to play with him, she was there at his birth.”   _ Hunith smiled _ , “He was special even then, born with his eyes sparkling gold. Edith told me before we left she believed he is protected, and was even back then.” _

Balinor had to force back his shock and panic at  _ that  _ information, eyes were never gold at birth, but now was not the time to push Hunith on that.  _  “Do you know what happened to make her think that?” _

_ “I have no idea. _

_ ‘And there was a reason you didn’t ask for that answer’  _ thought Balinor privately _. _

_ “How did she know what they were doing?” _

_ “Oh, you remember her, she was always in the middle of everything, she had secrets of her own, but no one else saw it, I saw it because I know the shadow in her eyes.” _

_ “Everyone has secrets these days love, you know that better than anyone.”  _ Balinor’s lips tugged upwards thinking of a younger Hunith laughing with her friend, weaving flowers into their hair for a festival.

_ “Did you meet anyone else who shared theirs with you while you were… gone?” _

He smiled. _ “A few. No one I shared mine with though. One good man who was aware of my heritage, I knew him from before. Serves Caerleon now, but he has a conscience and a good heart, helped me out of a few very difficult situations, ran into me first when he was scouting ahead, and when he returned to the group claimed that he’d seen no-one. He’s helped  when I’ve been outnumbered.” _

_ “Where was he today?”  _ Hunith bit her lip nervously.

_ “Back home, with his own son. I’m glad for once I was travelling alone, I don’t want anyone to know Merlin exists, the risks to him even if he  _ didn’t _ have such strong magic are so high.” _

_   
_ _ “It sounds like you aren’t certain at all about acknowledging him  Bal. I won’t play with his mind like that. If you aren’t certain, then you definitely have to remain ‘just a friend’.” _

Balinor sighed, wishing he could explain in a way that would make sense _,_ for once wishing she had enough magic to understand innately, _“No. I definitely_ want _to, and Merlin deserves to know who he is, because in his case blood will out whether or not he is told. Merlin is a blessing I never expected. I want him to know who I am, and I_ want _to find out who_ he _is. What I am desperately afraid of is my enemies discovering his existence and looking for him. There are many motivations to find and control my son, none of them good. To use him as collateral, to end all the dragonlords, to train and use as a weapon to command the dragons. He should know where he came from, for his own safety as much as anything else. He needs to know that he is not rejected or unwanted by his father.”_

 

_ “OK, that is a lot to consider, I want to think about this sensibly, we  _ have _ to do this rationally l- Balinor. What do you mean about his blood showing?” _

 

_ “Well, when a Dragonlord’s father dies, his eldest son  _ becomes _ the next Dragonlord, and a part of him wakes up, there is an increase and unsettling of his magic while it gets used to the change and input. The capacity is already there, but it’s like your soul reshuffles to make space. We start to see flashes of the future or the past until the connection to dragons adjusts and stops leaking. When I die, as it happened to me when my father… when he was killed, Merlin will experience the same. The stronger the natural magic we possess, the harder the change can go, and the stronger the connection to dragons is. As strong a warlock as Merlin? To experience it without expecting that and understanding would be very cruel.” _

 

_ “I thought- I know that this hurts Bal, but I need to understand. You said he could be used to control dragons, but they have been declared extinct. If there are none left, what purpose would that serve?” _ _   
_ Balinor sighed. _ “Uther has an ego, and a great ability to ignore things he doesn’t like, or is critical of. He slaughtered every dragon in Albion, except for one, and the Great dragon is imprisoned beneath Camelot, bound in chains forged by black magic. Kept as a trophy. As long as he lives there is a possibility of launching an attack and freeing him, deadly if you cannot control him, or a way to destroy Camelot with his rage if you can. There are some eggs hidden, there have to be, and he can’t afford to send men questing right now, some must exist across the sea, it doesn’t make sense for there only to be dragons in the five kingdoms, the sky respects no borders, and after the fall of Daobeth the dragons scattered. They couldn’t all have been in this area for the massacre.” _  He knew he sounded desperate, like he was trying to convince himself, and he was, but he also knew there was at least some truth in that. 

Hunith’s heart ached for him,  _ “Surely you could find out just by calling them?” _

He looked at her, a brittle fragility showing through, it looked wrong on his warrior’s face she thought, reaching to smooth away new wrinkles,  _ “What if I am wrong? What if Kilgarrah and I truly are the very last of our kind? They were becoming rarer anyway. I won’t be able to sense any unhatched eggs, and they can wait a thousand years before choosing someone.”   _ he smiled through tears and controlled his breathing. “ _ They are so beautiful Hunith, jewels can’t compare, crystals feel empty of energy in comparison. The dragons a Dragonlord hatches are like his children. If ever we were forced to execute one, as there are records of-  _ were _ records of, before the fires, it was never, ever asked it of the ones who called them from the egg. It was such a rare event, neither my father nor grandfather were required to attend one. Losing one would leave a man broken. Kilgarrah is as much kin to me as my mother, in a different way. I couldn’t bear to call another and lose them, I’m not sure there is enough of me left to survive that.” _

Hunith blinked back the tears that threatened again.  _ “Having a child is like allowing your heart to walk around outside your body Bal, I understand. I wouldn’t ask you to take that risk a second time with a king who believed them evil incarnate.”  _ She paused.  _  “If you want no one to know of Merlin’s existence would you simply never mention us? How does that work in practice?” _

 

Balinor shook his head, half frustrated,  _ “No, I don’t want to have any possibility of conflicting needs if there is a threat against you two. I left to protect  _ You _ Hunith, and I cannot promise to never do so again, but I can promise you to always return to you, and be there with you whenever it’s safe. To stay for now if you’ll allow me. There is more going on right now than I can explain in a night. The magical community is fracturing, splitting under the external pressures, the internal trauma, the usual arrangement would produce natural leaders, and a balanced hierarchy of sorts. Everything has been thrown out of balance, destroying all of that. Now there are so many lost and hurting, the scattered remnants of particular groups are leaderless. Resentment and desperation is everywhere. The High priestess herself has turned to dark magic, and the druids are less able to maintain contact as the danger increases and they come to Uther’s notice more. There are whispers of rebellion, and I have seen the mass graves. It is outlawed to mark a sorcerers grave now. I am no seer, Hunith, I dare not predict what the future holds, enough people are trying to manipulate it already. What I can offer you is my presence right now, and my love. Dragonlords are.. We don’t take multiple partners. Like our kin, when we choose someone, we mate for life, a bond that cannot be broken, the old religion does not allow it. You are.. Not...a creature of the old religion, it’s rules do not bind you the same way, you will always be free to choose. _

_ There were rules before about not joining with Others, my mother never agreed with, she taught me to question custom that inhibit us, or hoard power, of any sort. I believe that fate led me to  _ you _ for a reason, I found you without seeking my heart’s mate twice, in two different places and for that I consider myself blessed, even if the gods have abandoned me in everything else.” _

Hunith leaned in to kiss him tenderly, tucking the long hair behind his ear,  _ “I do not believe they have abandoned you, Balinor, or you would never have found us, never known about Merlin. You are being trusted to make the right choice, and the consequences for the three of us will be far reaching. I am glad that the Old religion has less claim over me, mercy does not seem to be highly valued by the goddess now.” _

_ “There was a time when it was. The actions of men have consequences, and we ignore them at our peril, or so I was taught.” _

_ “If you are of the Old religion, and I am not, where does that leave Merlin.” _

_ “Merlin will become a dragonlord. He  _ is _ a dragonlord, if immature, and he belongs to the old religion. When we are spoken of you should be warned, the term is ‘a creature of the old religion’, try not to panic, we aren’t being scorned, it’s actually a term of honour, closer to ‘sire’ in implication than an insult. A dragonlord is a creature of the old religion as our dragons are, as the dryads, and the guardians of the veils are, as the fae are. We are none of those things. Closer to full human than fae, but existing somewhere between the two. It has drawbacks, like being  _ owned _ by the Old Religion, and advantages, like being harder to kill.” _ _   
_ Hunith looked confused _ , “But Uther managed-” _

_ “Uther grew up with one of his closest friends the son of a Dragonlord, Hunith. We fascinated him. I bear the responsibility, with my father, for allowing him to discover certain weaknesses and instincts. In those times it didn’t seem dangerous, we fought together, side by side, and it made sense to be able to protect each other better.” _

_ “Oh, my love, of course it did, no one expects a friend to become so ruthless, or lose their mind. No child should be responsible for an entire nation’s future, that is a burden even adults cannot carry alone.” _

_ “I think the young princeling might be a safer choice than his father actually.” _ Balinor grimaced.

_ “Age is not a qualification for just rule. Kind kings have a bad habit of dying young on the battlefield, the corrupt, sleekit ones live longer.” _

Hunith stroked his cheek, noting how troubled he was, and the exhaustion that he could no longer quite hide, _ “I know, but we are here now, together. We’ll travel with you tomorrow and see how it goes, for now you remain my close friend, when we a re somewhere safe, if you are still with us, we’ll tell Merlin the truth. There is enough for him to deal with right now. If we tell him who you are to him, he will know what Aine is, he can know in the morning she is your mother, he’ll guess  _ that _ anyway. Do you know where she is leading us?” _

Balinor considered for a minute before answering _ , “There are three possibilities, we’ll find out in the morning, before we leave which it is. I have a personal preference for Merlin and you, but she might have knowledge I do not as yet.”   _

Hunith nodded. She was beginning to understand how disjointed  their world had become while she hid in Ealdor, trying her damndest not to be noticed in any way, remain invisible, and it had worked for longer than she had really expected, but around them, that little pocket of subsistence farming on a road that crossed the border, the world had changed. Hunith had never intended to have to flee and make new lives, new identities for them, but for the sake of her son she would learn. For Balinor she would learn to live in two worlds, especially if Merlin was without a choice, and with each passing day it became clearer that he was not born to fit in and pass unnoticed, and she wondered if they would ever find a place to fit in. It wasn’t something she could afford to think about that night, and she knew that trying when her mind was buzzing would get them nowhere. Instead she laid her head against Balinor’s shoulder, accepting the support he offered, while he was there with her.

_ “Come on, let’s go to bed before morning comes without us getting any rest.”  _ She grabbed his hand to pull him after her, scrambling to her feet.

_ “Wait, together? Are you sure Hunith?” _

She sighed and turned to him _. “I am still angry about things Balinor, of course I am, but I am not going to waste you actually being here after so long being bitter, when not a single day is guaranteed. Someone lost their partner today, I will not be so ungrateful as to exile or reject you, and I  _ Know _ your radiate heat like a fire, so I will not be sleeping in the cold to make a point that has already been made. I have no intention of dragging Merlin into my own conflicted feelings and making him feel guilty for wanting to spend time with you while I get my head around you being  _ alive _ and not returning, being  _ here _ and not taking a new woman, being  _ mine _ even if I didn’t accept you. Come and lie down with me, keep me warm, and let me sleep at least once in your arms again. I’m not inviting you to bed me, but I am inviting you to sleep next to me. Your mother is likely already asleep with Merlin, we can bed down with them for extra warmth, you all seem to run a little hot anyway.” _ _   
_ _ “That sounds wonderful Hunith, much more than I either expected, or deserve. I want to check the wards around the cave, but I think we are protected for the night.”  _

The camp was silent as they lay down next to the others with Hunith’s head resting on his shoulder, palm on his chest, and his arms wrapped protectively around her.

 

When Aine woke it was to see something she hadn’t dared hope for, her son looking at peace as he slept, his mate curled into him on one side, and his son burrowing under his arm on the other. Even if the three couldn’t find a way to make it work properly, as they ought to, at least they would have this much. They needed some good memories with the bad. 

Looking around Aine decided everyone would need something warm this morning, it wasn’t light yet, and there was a faint mist, so it probably was worth a small fire to heat up the water if Balinor didn’t wake quickly, she was down now to only nettle or mint for teas, but that shouldn’t be a problem much longer, close as they were to more familiar ground for her.

 


	8. Eight

Hunith woke slowly, warmer and calmer than she had felt upon waking for a long time. Excitable, energetic children like Merlin did not make for gentle starts.

Something was different, something fundamental that should be easy to identify she thought, reaching over to check Merlin and remembering abruptly why she felt warmer, noticing the arm around her and a once familiar scent. She had more than half expected to wake up to an empty space beside her again. Merlin had shifted during the night, looked like he had managed to scramble over his father to get an arm of his own. She was loathe to get up and break the tableau, the sense of rightness, but knew there was no other option, they did not have the luxury of time to indulge sentiment.

Aine was already up and moving, clearly she had tried to allow the family a little more time together before waking them, and it warmed Hunith, her feelings about the woman's deception twisting and conflicting inside. She would have done the same thing, she knew she would have. Hunith was hardly the model of honesty and openness. As many virtues as she had, truthfulness was not one of them. Yet to be on the other side left her deeply uncomfortable, and irrationally wondering if she hadn't made a mistake following the woman. Handing Hunith a mug of nettle tea Aine sighed. "Come, we do not have much time before the boys must be woken. I lied to you about certain aspects- well, withheld some of the truth- but I have never been dishonest about my care or motives. You crossed the border last night, just barely, the ground we are on right now is no longer Uther's domain. It is not safe. It is not far, but we are one step closer this morning to refuge."

Aine smiled, bitter-sweet, nodding towards Balinor and their child, " _The man there, holding your son close, he is_ my  _son. He has made many mistakes, but he is a good man. Merlin is my grandson by blood, and in spirit, I leave the decision about whether to grant him that knowledge fully in your hands Hunith. If you choose not to share it, know that it will not change my feelings or behaviour towards him, I will not resent it, and it will not change how I feel towards or treat you either. Everything you do is done putting Merlin's welfare first in your considerations, and you know him best so I will follow your lead. We seek the same thing you and I, without this secret between us I believe it will be easier for us to achieve."_

Hunith looked at the older woman with renewed caution " _What is that exactly?"_

" _Simply to find a safe place for our children to live, for them to know more than being hated and feared."_

Put like that it really did sound very simple, Hunith set her jaw and nodded sharply. " _Then let's find one. If we can't, then we'll make one."_

A proper smile lit Aine's features then, " _There's the staunch, caring woman my son fell in love with."_  The old woman placed a warm hand against Hunith's cheek, " _I am proud of you both, it has not been easy for any of you. It will likely never be easy, but you have done more in a matter of hours than some do in a lifetime to forgive and heal pain, even as raw wounds are being laid down. If there is any way I can help, please don't hesitate to ask. Morning tea is a poor offering."_

She looked at her son and his father, Merlin beginning to rouse, trying to burrow deeper into his side in a way she had never had the pleasure of seeing before, seeming to reject the dawn for once. Perhaps he was simply exhausted from using such energy yesterday, perhaps a subconscious part of him recognised who was holding him, it was time though, the next patrol might be looking for bandits, but there was no guarantee they wouldn't spread out this far if any were inexperienced. Uther was happy to lie quite blatantly about bigger things than crossing borders.

Kara and the older boy were rousing now too so Aine began to dole out the tea, it's warmth appreciated for the simple relief from the early morning chill.

Kneeling by her boys Hunith shook one, a little more roughly than necessary, before catching herself, clearly there was still anger she would need to work out, speaking gently to the other and mumbling an apology as Balinor's eyes snapped open, hand going automatically to his sword. Hunith cursed that she had forgotten how alone the man had been, of course he would wake in fight or flight frame of mind, her hand covered his as the fog cleared. "You need to get up, we're leaving soon, your mother made tea for everyone. Merlin complained, not wanting to move, Hunith gave up on him voluntarily leaving the warmth of the furs and scooped him up. "Come on, you need some breakfast before we go, it's going to be a very busy day and you'll need the energy."  
"No, I don't want 'nother busy day." He yawned. She hoped he would feel more energised after eating something, travelling with tired children was slow and she had lost his volunteer carrier.

Balinor had already rolled up the sleeping mat when she turned around to ask him and handed them their bowls. "No fruit Mummy?" Merlin asked wistfully, seeing the gruel.

"None this morning love, maybe later we can find something."

He tried not to look disappointed, it was a treat anyway, "Can I help look?"

Hunith smiled, glad to see her son beginning to show a little more confidence again, "Of course you can help look, you are great at helping." He saw Mum's friend catching her eye and looked puzzled before returning his attention to the food, you could never be too careful with meals, the next one didn't always appear when it should. " _Can I use my other hand today?"_ He whispered into mum's mind, hearing the smile in her reply, " _Of course Merlin, you can use it for small things like steadying a bowl."_

'Of course' was absolutely  _not_  how she felt, but if it was what helped him learn not to accidentally explode things or stop time, then 'of course' would be her answer every morning 'til she crossed the veil.

Balinor smiled, " _Well done dear, I felt what that cost you. He didn't."_ His pride in her was clear, " _If you don't mind I have some dried apple and nuts he could have later, not now obviously, since he has been told to wait, but when you think he can. Good energy food."_

" _Thank you. I'll see how he goes, but maybe mid morning? The days are getting longer after all."  
_ " _Yes. Beyond that, he used a lot of energy yesterday, it likely drained him and he'll take a bit to recover. Extra will hasten that recovery."_ Hunith let her interest show, it hadn't seemed to be significant before, but now that he pointed it out, the connection was clear, after big expenditures of magic, Merlin did often get lethargic. " _Ok, keep an eye on him then, and when you see him flagging, offer him some."  
_ It felt strange allowing anyone else to have responsibility for Merlin, but as she did so the realisation that this was what  _normal_  families did struck her heavily. It wasn't a bizarre anomaly for anyone but them, William would often go practice hunting with his father, as well as to the fields with his mother, he learned more whittling than spinning, he spent time in his auntie's care playing with cousins. This was her first proper glimpse into what that truly meant. Balinor, coming up behind her rested his chin on her shoulder and a hand on her waist, "Ssh, don't overthink it. Right here, right now, we are together, we can go one hour at a time if you want, you don't need to work everything out by noon. If he does tire, I'll carry him. If not, he can find whatever he is looking for." Merlin's eyes flicked towards them and something niggled at the back of his mind, something important he thought, but not more important than breakfast, so he concentrated on that and took his things to wash up, like he was supposed to. This time several pairs of eyes watched him carefully. Kara had quickly noticed that there was a change in the dynamic that seemed to be due to the addition of the other traveller. He didn't seem to be a warrior by choice, more druid-like in aura, but definitely not a true druid. It made her uncomfortable to have such a man close to the woman she had followed so far. She must have been broadcasting some of her emotions because when she looked to her side Aine appeared. " _I understand, Kara. You can rest easy on this point. That man is family to me. He will not betray us, and Isildur will rejoin you later, he is fulfilling a task that needed his skills, he knows our companion and can vouch for him if you wish it of him. They defended us together."_

" _Didn't he lead Uther's men to us only yesterday?"_ There was anger in Kara's tone still. Aine met it with soothing and calmness, " _No, quite the opposite in fact. Uther's men led him to us. He was travelling this way, which I did_ not  _know, and believed they may have discovered the destination he had in mind. He was stalking them before they attacked us and he had to change his plan. The man is safe for you, but not very sociable right now. He is unlikely to answer any questions and quite likely to read you rather accurately without invading your mind."_

" _You are sure of this, Aine?"  
_ " _Certain. I've known him since he was very young, and it has contributed to keeping him alive this long."_

Kara snorted. "You'd better be right, or we'll all be paying dearly for it."

Aine let the frustration flow over her, " _I am. Don't doubt that if he wasn't several more would now be lying dead alongside our attackers. I saw four die at his hand myself. If you cannot be thankful for your life, at least try not to make judgements without seeing someone."_

Kara hesitated before replying. " _How can I be sure you are not deceived by him after such a long time."_

Aine smirked, " _I said I knew him as a boy, not that it was when I last saw him."_ Her expression sobered, " _Do not make the mistake of thinking you are the only one to suffer at Uther's hand, or you will lose some very valuable allies and friends. You are good at 'seeing' people's true selves Kara, allow yourself to see_ them _."_

The elder left her to finish packing what little she had and restore the place as best she could. Still weary from the day before, and emotionally drained she didn't immediately notice their newest companion joining her until he waved a hand over the place muttering words that could get him executed without trial, and her head jerked up. His expression blank his eyes flicked towards hers. "I saw you speaking to Aine. Whatever she said of me, I want you to ignore, make your own decision. Every choice we make in this life, the consequences are our own to carry, you must be at peace with yours. I do not wish you harm, or any one of us under persecution, we all share that oppression. The only way I ever come up  _against_  you, is if you pose a threat to Merlin or Hunith. Cause them no harm, you and I will never have a problem. You've seen me, and did not meet me as a quiet traveller, I arrived after a battle, I don't expect you to consider me safe, but you  _can_  expect me to defend you all against whatever may come against us."

He raised an eyebrow, and gestured towards the two he had claimed as specifically his priority.

"I don't expect you to trust me either, none of us here trust anyone easily. "

Kara agreed and studied him, following his gaze, brows meeting, "Why?"  
He understood ' _why them',_ and answered flatly without turning to look at her, "They're different."

Which left her with more questions than she had to begin with and no way to politely ask them. "Come on, the hearth needs scattering before we leave." Rejoining the woman and child he didn't give her a backwards look and she went to follow what she assumed was an instruction. He didn't seem as though he'd be very good at following them himself, which was disturbing if she thought about it, but there was someone waiting for her, and the very last thing any of them needed was to be worried about being delayed by her or picking up on borrowed anxiety.

They were ready to leave shortly afterwards, the signs of any occupation minimal. No one wanted to use significant amounts of magic, that might be traceable, especially after Merlin's loss of control the previous day. Anyone even slightly sensitive in the area would have felt the aftermath, though not the cause. Aine didn't like it. Or the prickling on the back of her neck.

With Aine at the front, Balinor took the rear, adopting the position of a guard apparently without being asked, despite making his priorities clear earlier when she regarded him with open suspicion. Kara tried to concentrate on the flora they were passing, there was a good chance they could make some proper stew later, if they could get further from the border. She wasn't naive enough to believe that an invisible line would prevent the poisonous ideas of Uther's laws from spreading and they were still far too close to Camelot. The other boy who remained with them stayed very close to her, jumping at every sound, clearly unnerved. It must have been his first direct attack she thought, hoping rather than expecting his mother to find them with Isildur later, if they didn't then she or Devin would have a new ward. As the morning wore on it began to look more and more likely.

Merlin walked beside his mother for the most part, picking up on her rather subdued mood, his steps far more stable and measured than before her intervention Kara was pleased to note, observing his gait. The child had a long way to go to catch up to where he ought to be, but seemed to be a fast learner, which could only be a good thing given that he was..well..  _Him._

She was conflicted about withholding that information, yet she could understand why it hadn't been offered, that wasn't the sort of knowledge one could take back, and to be burdened by 'destiny' as a child was cruel. On the other hand, what would happen if he was given no preparation or understanding? Gods she wished she'd been born in less confusing times. There must have been some. Times where girls like her were not expected to make decisions that could impact on the balance of the world. Worlds really. Times that didn't have the spirits of legends walking alongside people like her, or skipping next to young mothers oblivious that their sons were wrapped in prophecies, hunted by Destiny and Fate. One where she wouldn't look at the child Emrys and know his nemesis was somewhere out in the world, just waiting to find him, may well be stalking him even now. The wrongness of it all choking her.  Aine looked back, catching and holding her gaze.

" _No. Not like that. The story never goes so simply. You think two strangers meet and instantly have the depth of connection to battle in such a raw manner as to break through the bonds of time? Prophecies are not just some sweet lie told to a druid child for lessons Cara. No. They are more like… like echoes. Like a cry that ricochets through a cave system. A whisper may carry a little distance, but to reach the depths? No. That needs an intensity that comes from the very soul of a person clinging on at the brink. Not everything is pre-decided. We heard an echo through time, the seers and the prophets, and it was visceral. The scream of someone begging the goddess, but for what? We cannot yet know. The players begin to assemble, yes, but you can be sure that when Emrys rises and his greatest opponent does, it will not be some stranger. Of course raw power contributes, but it is not enough alone, without passion. He will know them, and know them well enough for the screaming of two souls to echo down to the very beginning of our world. It is very unlikely that someone who means so much to Emrys would already be old enough, or interested enough, to_  hunt  _him. Nor will looking for the_ bane  _of Emrys mean you locate his great enemy. Besides, how do you know that by pursuing one you would not introduce him to the other? A prophecy is a dangerous thing my dear, never forget that. I would not hand an untrained child a sharpened sword, I will not hand them a prophecy that they may one day live."_

Kara was silent. She had a great deal to consider, and didn't particularly wish to draw any more attention since it was apparently a day for lectures and chastisement. Somehow that was  _also_  the wrong thing to do as her lack of animation was drawing the attention of a man she still didn't have a name for, causing her to frown. Cursing her distraction it took only seconds for him to be at her side. "Stay alert Kara, we can't risk another ambush."

She nodded, and narrowed her eyes at him, "Who are you really?" she almost whispered.

He was no druid, but no knight either, too noble in bearing to be a serf. "Would you rather I give a false name or to choose one for me?" Her mouth dropped open as a surge of realisation swept over her, and the shocked look was met with his wry smile of understanding.

"You're one of  _them_. You were someone  _before_." Someone specific, commonly known  _of_  by name, if not in person, those who shed their names even in safe company weren't just running from the widespread persecution, they were being  _hunted_ , those with a bounty on their heads or wanted for a reason.

"There it is."

"Were you  _his_?"

"Does it matter? I doubt you can say you were this  _before_."

Kara remembered the smoke, the blood, and the screams. "It matters."

Balinor sighed. "You will not find the answers you seek by demanding, or anger. I am no man's, I never have belonged to any man, and none can ever hold a claim over me. I stand alone Kara. If it troubles you not to have a name try Bran, it's short enough for warning, and could be one of a hundred. Ignorance may not be a defence, but if I was looking for someone, I'd know a reaction to a name, and so would they. Without mine you can't flinch. Secrets save lives now, better get your head around that, lass. You'll keep friends better if you don't poke at their pain." He gave her a quick flash of his mood to let her know he was not making any veiled threats and it almost knocked her sideways. Whoever he was, his mind was not… normal. Not in her experience anyway. He cocked a brow at her, almost as though he were daring her to challenge it, and a tension she hadn't noticed ebbed from him as she bit back her questions and offered a tentative smile. "Um… Let me start over Bran?" She asked it without knowing what to expect in response,

"No. You don't get any start overs. No-one ever does. The past can't be changed, you shape the future by your present. I respect you for who you are Kara, not who you would change yourself into given infinite time."

"Okaaay. Give me time Bran, who I am now is suspicious and defensive, and on very good days, a healer."  
Balinor nodded, satisfied. "Yes, so I've seen, it serves your friends well. Thank you for helping Merlin, there are traces of your magic just around the edges of his mind when he walks."

"I didn't do anything really, just showed him the patterns."

Balinor caught her eyes, all evidence of lightness gone, "No Kara, it was more than that; you showed him how to take the first step."  
He was gone from her before she could form an adequate response to that, having heard clearly the double meaning of his words, sidling back over to where Merlin and Hunith were walking.

As he bent his head to whisper in the other woman's ear a suspicion began to form in her mind, but rushing to conclusions was dangerous, so she'd observe and wait. Hunith appeared to smile up at him in response, not one she'd seen before, new and almost fragile.

Balinor approached Hunith carefully and placed his hand lightly on her lower back, he didn't want to spook her, but desperately needed to assure himself that she was real, solid and warm beside him. "Do you think he's been well behaved enough to have some yet?"

Hunith looked down at Merlin and noticed how scattered and distracted his attention was, he looked dazed, almost panicked and concern shot through her. The sharp inhale drew Balinor's attention to his son and a light mental touch told him everything he needed to know. He gave Hunith's hand a quick squeeze, " _I've got this love, let me help him?"_  she nodded.

Merlin was alert as someone wanted to speak to Mum when her feelings were.. Strange… Feeling other people's emotions was new, and he wasn't at all sure he liked it. Before he knew about silent talking he'd never felt them like that, just like something pushing against his mind a bit. He knew other people being happy made  _him_  feel happy, and when other people were sad, he often felt sad, but that happened to lots of people, the heavy clouds around people had been a jumble though, and now it was like someone had washed off the dust. He was worried it might be his fault for exploding, maybe he'd broken something again. Mum hadn't told him off though. Maybe she just hadn't noticed? She been very busy today and yesterday, especially after her friend came. He thought Aine might know, she kept looking back to him, but she wasn't angry either. He could feel worry, and happiness from her? He could feel someone being afraid and didn't like it at all, he knew it wasn't  _him_  being afraid, that was different. Easier. There were too many feelings, too many blurry words..

Balinor reached down, his warm fingers on a frail shoulder made Merlin jump, but Balinor didn't move, just waited for Merlin to see him and concentrate on him, "That's it, well done, focus on me, ignore the others, just look at me. I'm going to do something for a minute and you don't need to be scared ok. I want you to try and  _listen_  with your mind just to me ok? Like when you are trying to hear a deer moving, or a hare. Let the other voices melt away, just me for a minute. Brilliant."  
Merlin's eyes were now fixed on his father's. "It's alright. Try not to panic, ok? People  
can be so careless with their feelings and minds, can't they. Sharing too many things and being all confusing! I'm going to open mine and let you have a wee bit to hold onto, just like holding your mum's hand to not get lost. We'll work on it together later so you don't need to always have it. Your mind is a bit like mine. It's made to be able to grab on to another and share these things, but usually you'd be a bit older. People like us have to build some defences. A bit like a castle, more like the earth kind than stones, but we start small and practice together." He did exactly that, and Merlin could feel the offered stand reach out to him, then stopping. "You have to take it Merlin, I won't push like the others. Concentrate and reach out just to me." closing his eyes the little warlock did so, stumbling forward as a sense of calm and quiet filled him, it was as though the others had suddenly been shut out. Catching his son easily Balinor stood up, taking the boy with him, "You are amazing you know, don't let anyone tell you different." He stroked the dark hair back from his face. "Now before we saw what was happening I'd come over to offer you some of the dried apple and nuts from my pack, I hope you haven't changed your mind about fruit after I've even got your mother's official permission." He winked lightly at the boy, hoping a distraction would help, however minor for an adult, and relieved when it did, finding Merlin as delighted at the prospect of such a treat as ever.

Hunith's fear hadn't eased watching the conversation between the two, if anything increasing, but she appreciated that Merlin was more like himself afterwards. The rhythmic rocking movement and sheer relief tipped Merlin over the edge into a restful sleep.

Hunith saw Balinor exchanging a meaningful look with his mother and an aching sadness in the older woman's eyes.

"What was that, Bal?"

He sighed in resignation. "That was something that shouldn't have happened until he was much older and had far more understanding. Merlin's efforts yesterday with his innate capacity seem to have triggered it early. He is hearing and feeling what others are. What everyone is, and it is overwhelming. I've extended my defenses to protect his mind for now, but if he was anyone else that would break him. His mind is hard to explain. It's difficult even as an adult."

Hunith found herself reminded of what Aine had told her and forced herself to calm.

"Try. For me, just try."

"Then we need to use the other way."

Hunith shrugged, "Losing my patience now Bal."

" _Dragonlords are bound to the dragons as firmly as they are to us. It is more than a forced obedience, they obey us because of that connection. Dragon and dragonlord are soul-kin and that requires our minds to be able to adapt to the presence of another, the scale of a dragon, dragons are almost immortal Hunith, the mind of a creature thousands of years old requires an entirely different structure, to be able to absorb more. To deal with that we build up a kind of mental armour, calluses, but Merlin has very little, for age and inexperience. Without it he gets drawn into the whirling chaos easily or has to fight, like ducking punches. It's exhausting. Being able to accommodate the mind of a thousand year old dragon means being able to hear tens of people at a time. His voice may be young and excited, but he doesn't yet know how to shut this off, a dragon would fill the space and keep it from being troublesome, give a focus. We do not have a dragon. We have me. For now I can cover it and give him a distinct point of focus. Lock down my own emotions tight so he cannot sense them. Dragonlords do tend to be calmer and have better self control that most full human men, simply because of the damage that can be done with a single dragonlord's fury. One command Hunith can devastate a kingdom. Far more easily than Uther's single command has. I feel no less rage, grief, even hate for him, what he did, but without the extra mental strength, Kilgarrah would have razed the whole kingdom to the ground long ago, and without a dragonlord to stop him doing just that, they would be utterly helpless against him. What I want and what is sane and forgivable are not the same. Every Dragonlord must be able to control their desires Hunith. This is one of the ways we learn that rigid control, but no one has ever been required to do so as young, except one, and I am scared of getting it wrong. Absolutely terrified love. He thinks he broke something and you will be angry. When he wakes, can you assure him that he has not broken or damaged anything, that no one is hurt."_

Hunith felt like she was falling, like she'd been falling since she first met the man, " _Full human, as in you are not."_

Balinor sighed. " _Creature of the old religion love. I never hid being a dragonlord from you."_

" _You left. Balinor! You_ left  _and I had no idea about any of it."_

" _Look, you can be as angry as you want later, I didn't realise that the meaning was lost on you,_ _or believe me I would be been a lot more thorough before asking you to tie the knot with me. I had no idea until yesterday that Merlin even existed. By rights we should have had a lot longer to prepare for any of this at all, and to be honest, I'm still in rather a lot of shock, but at least the practise of tying up emotions for processing later is useful for that. It's not Merlin's fault that he was born in such unstable times, or his choice to whom he was born. I chose you Hunith because of who you are, because of your heart, your spirit, not what you were born or to whom. I..I believed you had done the same with me. If I made a mistake I am truly, deeply sorry. We're human enough, or we wouldn't be able to have a child together, dragonlords are just a bit extra. That's all."_

" _You said lock up your emotions!"_

Balinor did  _not_  roll his eyes. " _So do most parents, we are just better at it! Would you rather I couldn't and left him drowning in everything here? The other kid's terror, Kara's suspicion, our turmoil, the traumas that brought us all here, the hope, the emotions of memories. How would that be better?"_

Hunith brushed a tear off her cheek angrily, " _No, no I wouldn't , I just wish he didn't have to deal with any of this, that we didn't have to run, or- or live like we' were ashamed. I just wish that- that he was- we were.."  
_ " _Normal?"_  Offered Balinor gently. Hunith bit her lip hard, more silent tears following the first, nodding once. Unable to say the words. _  
_" _I know. I know my love, but more importantly, so does Merlin. He knows that you love him absolutely and completely, but he's trying desperately to be something he is not, that he can never healthily be. I used to be scolded by my mother if I tried to tidy my room or do dishes with magic. She called it laziness and avoiding a 'natural consequence'. Allowing him to be whole doesn't mean that we teach him to go out with no skills, or misusing it, it means we show him how to not be tripped up by accidental magic or paralysed by fear. You saw him before he could find my mind. Imagine that in an adult, with greater power as he grows, unpractised. Easier to give healthy boundaries now, and guides for how to cope if a new ability manifests, than leave it unguided and wild, only instinctive. Wild magic serves a purpose, but without understanding it can be so easy for a witch or warlock, 'or dragonlord'"_ he mumbled, " _to be swept up into the beauty and chaos and glory. You've seen drunkenness, it can occasionally happen with the wild magic, and really, a magic user needs to know when to go home."_

" _Have you ever..?"  
_ He chuckled, " _Every stupid kid goes and drinks an obscene amount of ale at least once, of course I did, we all do, but_ then  _it was safe. Believe me, Beltaine and Yule? If we don't teach these kids properly, you'd better hope they imbibe a ridiculous amount of alcohol to cover an accidental magic binge. Not least because it's not only humans who try and take others of the Old Religion home. Unless you fancy having a half nymph grandbaby, there are things every magical teen should know. Blocking emotions is an early one for_ us _, because eventually we have to block_ thoughts _, and there are some thoughts that should come with a warning. I can help put a filter on a very small band for Merlin if that occurs precipitously."  
_ " _Balinor?"_

" _Hmm?"_

" _Are you still doing it?"_ She indicated Merlin slumped on his father's shoulder, a sweet ache spreading in her chest.

He looked confused for a moment before understanding, " _Of course. I'm not about to trick him into sleep and give the poor child nightmares he can't wake from. I don't know if it'll hold when I sleep. Haven't tested it before, but as long as he needs a dampener, he has one."_  He grimaced. " _I might have to speak to my mother about detours though. We're coming up to a fork in the river and there's a decision for direction there."_

" _You seem to know the area well."_

He flashed her a bright grin, one she had forgotten she had even been missing, " _I spent a long time flying love, it's like nothing you can imagine. I rarely get lost. My father wanted us to learn the land we lived in, not only one little patch of it. I loved the sky, still do though it is far out of my reach now. I 'know the area well' as you say from Dalraida to Cerniw, and Connacht to Kent. I was never to go further, I'd be a poor protector indeed if I invited war to our lands for the sake curiosity. I suppose I turned out to be a poor guardian indeed in spite of that obedience."_

Hunith felt remorse prickle through her painfully, " _I'd really appreciate if you didn't do that quite so loudly love, organising two different sides is tricky and I'm out of practice."  
_ " _Uhm..Sorry. I just- I'm sorry Balinor. I know it can't be easy for you either."_

" _Don't be, you are forgiven. We'll figure it out. Probably in a way that infuriates both of us some of the time, perhaps we can consider this a rehearsal."_

Hunith smiled sadly _, "I thought it was you who said we never really got trial runs without consequence."_

" _Ignore past me. Past me was an idiot."_

Hunith reached up to brush back his hair, " _Past you was a wise man, most of the time. It's never a rehearsal, only a link in the infinite chain that links the beginning to the end, to the rebirth. Perhaps this isn't our trial, but our rebirth."_

" _Don't even_ think it _, every new world is born from the ashes of the old one. I've no intention of living a legend with you my love, I want our happy ending."_

" _Really Balinor, you know I always hated endings, I want to live the journey. If the gods are kind, I may even get to walk some of it beside you."  
_ " _Let's just get to our most immediate destination first love."_

Hunith leaned up to place a light kiss on Balinor's stubbled cheek, unaware of her observers.

" _You are a good man Balinor, and you_ are  _a good protector. Maybe you weren't there when we wanted you, but you came when we_ needed  _you."_

Aine smiled to herself, things might be complicated and not what any of them had anticipated, but she believed the goddess may just have some sort of plan, and no one else but a high priestess could have helped Merlin in the same way.

Kara looked on, and felt an uncomfortable twang of envy in her heart. 'Bran' was clearly one of those that Hunith and Emrys had lost. They already had each other, and now here  _he_  was returned, it wasn't fair. No one ever came back for  _her._  She refused to give in to the tight ache in her throat, clenching her fists against it choosing anger over pain, anger was always easier to deal with.

The silent comfort of a hand wrapping around her own, helping it to unclench was unexpected

for Kara. Isildir had provided some continuity to her since the loss of her family, but the quiet friendship she had found with Devin offered warmth.

"This isn't you. You wanted Em- Merlin to be cared for, doesn't it look to you like you were heard?" His voice was soft enough not to carry, "There isn't enough happiness in this world not to share in it where it  _is_ found, none of us can afford to let bitterness consume the remaining goodness. You can't tell me Emrys doesn't look adorable like that." He chuckled and nudged her, "I bet you never thought you'd see Emrys drooling on a man's shoulder."

"Never thought I'd have to show him not to trip over or listen to why he likes ants either. Thanks Devin. You're right, I should be happy for them, promise you'll remind me if I forget it again."

"That's what friends are for." He stroked a circle over her palm. "Anyway, you would be terrible at being bitter, even your elixirs and potions are laced with honey or birch syrup. You care Kara, and you didn't give up on me. Come on, let's see if we can't get another mile or so while he sleeps before we do any resting."

Watching the exchange unobtrusively Aine allowed herself to relax a little, wondering if she would end up having to tweak Kara's memories, hoping she never would. She'd done it before, to avoid killing, but it wasn't a skill she enjoyed employing, at all. Not one she'd ever wish to use on her friends, if they were to pose a risk to her family though, she'd do it to save lives.

Having someone to anchor you to the right path- the  _light_  path, was especially important for their younger magic users, the ones without experience of waiting, choosing the right times, accepting that the result did not alway justify the means. It was something she worried for with Merlin. So much power without an anchor could wreak havoc. He would need that, she hoped Destiny had included one in his life's path, not just a loving mother, or king to serve. Some prophecies mentioned strong bonds between them, the friends of Emrys, but not every friend was a good influence… She squashed that line of thought, glad she wasn't his mother. Having a dragonlord for a son had been responsibility enough!

She could feel the barrier that Balinor had stretched over his son, impenetrable on the outside, and layered if he'd done it properly, as she had taught him to, she'd seen her grandson fidgeting and getting agitated over the morning but had failed to identify the exact cause, in not wanting to overwhelm him. She would have struggled anyway with that. When it happened to Bal he was older, knew what to expect, had dragons to plug the gap if it got too bad, and a brotherhood of Dragonlords to help. If it had happened to Merlin in Ealdor, so young, he'd have risked injury, and been left wide open to others, though around people less able to communicate that way. Without guidance he'd most likely have tried to shut all of that side of himself down and block it to avoid being overwhelmed by others, or his empathy warping. Empathy was  _good_ , it was necessary even in a warlock so strong, helped keep them in touch with their humanity, but it could be misused by those with gifts like Nimue's, and the High priestess would likely have felt the wrinkle in time, though it may not make sense to her yet.

When they began to get close to where two rivers met, Balinor lengthened his stride to catch up to her.  
" _Is it what I think?",_ she glanced between Balinor and Merlin,

" _Yes it is, but you knew that already."_

"Take a break everyone. We could all use something to eat and drink, and we're making good time and putting distance between  _them_  and ourselves."

There was a collective sigh from all but a small warlock, still held in his father's arms, exhausted from everything and finally not on guard.

Aine eased herself down to sit on a rounded looking rock, and rearranging Merlin, Balinor did the same.

" _Where were you taking them?"  
_ " _You know where Bal,"  
_ " _No, I really don't, though I've suspicions enough."_

Aine sighed _. "Nemeth initially."  
_ He carefully controlled his reactions, " _And now we've reached that land mother, where were you going to go?"_

" _Gedref, Balinor. You know it is ours, and without the priestesses, where else was I to seek advice? The Isle is Nimue's stronghold, the valley of fallen kings is too close to our hunters, I daren't risk taking Merlin so close to the Cave either. Our kin are in a difficult enough position with Camelot without having to conceal our visit, and I do not know if Uther has sent Rodor ambassadors, the risk was too high."_

" _And this was not? There is more that you are hiding mother, I don't like it, I hate feeling distrust of you."_

" _I know dear, but you are in my position with your beloved. There is such a thing as too much knowledge, and you know that. I am not hiding anything I believe is safe to share with you, and you know I wouldn't."  
_ Balinor couldn't argue that point and looked down, soaking in his son's peaceful expression. " _Really mother, Gedref? That's what you went with?"_

" _Well, you know it is heavily protected, even Uther daren't attack there, and Merlin would get to see a unicorn while Hunith and I worked out a plan with the High Priest and Anhora. At least he's more sensible than Taliesin is rumoured to be. I couldn't take them north through Rheged, that runs too close to a Catha base, and I'm hardly adequate to stand against_ one  _of them, let alone_ many _. We are not warriors Balinor. Those of us stable and with defence training are outnumbered by traumatised youngsters, The priority was getting Merlin and Hunith away from those who betrayed them, and away from Uther's men. Isildir dealt with the bandits along the way, and did not attack the men who destroyed Hunith's preparations in order to not give away our presence. They fled with almost nothing dear, we cannot travel any great distance without this being remedied. You are accustomed to this life now and had better preparation than many, albeit without any expectation of such a life. Hunith never did. That they have survived is a miracle in itself. What are you intending to do my son?"_

Balinor sighed. " _I have to keep him with me until the balance of his mind settles. There is a message that I can't avoid taking, a small village just to the south, not far from the coast. Not too close to Alined's lands though, if he noticed them he'd enslave the whole damn village. I helped a woman and her two children to escape to there, they are 'visiting' and aunt to help take care of her and the chores while she recovers from an illness. They were waiting on her husband to join them, but he was arrested."  
_ " _Magic?"_

Balinor shook his head, " _Gods no, not a drop in his veins, but the twins initially accused definitely did have. They were also only nine years old, had no idea what had happened until the smithy started tying 'em up and calling for wood."_ Aine closed her eyes, already sure where this led.

Keeping his mental voice steady Balinor made himself continue. " _He asked if I could get them out and away from there if he gave them a scary replacement sorcerer to chase. They'd already seen him. Said no child should ever face the fire, I didn't realise he_ planned  _to get caught until he shoved the letters into my tunic, and then it was too late. Edwin was right though, they had caught the blood frenzy and someone had to die. I didn't say goodbye or he'd have died for nothing."_

She reached up and gripped his shoulder, " _You did the right thing son. He died to save those girls and give them a chance. He had no intention for you to stay or free him, there is nothing for his spirit to forgive. He sounds like the kind of man who would have found you next Samhain if you had compromised a child's safety to go back for him."  
_ " _Probably."_

" _Did it work?"_

The darkness faded from Balinor's eyes. " _Well enough. I took them up into Rheged, just far enough, gave them new names. Managed to place them in the same hamlet, but no-one could take two together, so while one has was apprenticed to a brewer and the other was placed with an innkeeper needing a serving girl, so they'll still see each other, but be less feared. The mother was driven out years ago for 'consorting with demons'."_ He sighed, " _The world is full of fools."_

It really was, thought Aine, glad that the woman had at least chosen not to expose one of them, or believed they shared one soul.

" _That's good. If they are looking for two girls together it will be less obvious. Even giving them a clean death would have been mercy over allowing a child to burn, and your friend knew it."_

Balinor frowned. " _No. He has a daughter only a little younger. He did it because he looked at them and saw_ her,  _mother."_

" _I don't believe that dear, but even if that had been the only reason, would it really matter? Those girls saw only that not everyone fears them, and someone will be willing to defend them. They saw compassion."_

" _And what about the child who lost her father? What can I tell her to ease that pain?"_

" _You tell her that her father was a brave man, who gave his whole life to save little girls like her and did the right thing even when it was hard. You tell her he protected children from things they could not fight alone."_

" _Do you really think that will be any comfort to them? You saw more of the consequences to Hunith and Merlin's from my absence. Did such trite words help then, feel like enough?"_

" _No. No words fix such losses though, all we can do is acknowledge them and share their memory. Especially in a world where our physical remains go unmarked."_ Aine let her disgust colour the words.

" _It's wrong. I have tried so hard, but suppressing the rage and the desire for vengeance was twisting into bitterness. Finding Hunith and Merlin is- I think it might be what saves me Mother. Their existence in this world changes everything, and I'm afraid of what it means for us all, what I might be capable of if such a bond snaps into place so strongly already."_

Aine rolled her eyes. " _Balinor. You_ know  _what you are. You've always known. If you_ didn't  _feel instinct like this I'd worry."_ It would contribute to Merlin's effectiveness as Emrys the Guardian, the loyalty and bonds formed by dragonlords were unlike anything found between Others. Warlocks were similar in their tendencies to form close relationships with witches and  _those_ would likely contribute to his most traumatic experiences. Damn prophecies. What she wouldn't give to just see her grandson as a little boy with possibilities ahead of him, consider where they might run to outside of Albion openly. She didn't want to tell her son who Merlin was, it would be too cruel. Yet some of her choices wouldn't truly make sense with that omission, and there was a very real possibility that her son would hate her when he did discover it and fit the pieces together. Destiny was a cruel mistress indeed.

" _Well, unless there is a particularly timed important ritual we are required to arrive for then, we need to go south first, take the last words of a good man to his wife, and if the situation is unchanged seek refuge in Gedref. I don't like it, but you are correct that Uther will not attack there, we will be safe while Merlin practices some control with me. If you wish to speak with Rodor it should be safe for you to travel alone to visit without us, you never do stay long… and I know that you are eager to see his new daughter, even though she cannot know you."_

Aine made no denial of it. " _Of course I am, and better now, before she can remember than later. I can't take anything magical lest it endanger members of his court on visits to their neighbours, but a talisman or toy may be accepted. It always did frustrate me that noble girls were only given pretty dresses and shiny trinkets, as though we needed to form a horde of our own. Stupid when one considers that men trade them like goods themselves."_

_Balinor huffed, "Yes, perhaps taking Mithian a toy dragon or dagger with inspire her to fight this life she's born to. She's a baby mother."_

Aine raised a brow pointedly at her son _. "So was prince Arthur. Never too young to discover something they love."_

He felt Merlin shift against him and smiled softly, "Nor too old."

Looking about them and seeing Hunith cautiously watching the silent pair she waved the young woman over, "Please, sit with us, we leave in a few minutes anyway."

Hunith did so immediately, having waited so long only because she knew the Aine had given her opportunity to speak to her son last night so that  _she_  could. "As Balinor said, there is a choice of routes here, South together or East alone, there is an errand that must be completed which we disrupted, and there shouldn't be any attacks between here and the village. Merlin right now needs support until her can form his own defences, which will take time and help from another with a mind like himself. If we travel with him it shouldn't take more than an extra couple of days to get to the place I was taking you, and there would be an opportunity for everyone to have a proper meal and rest before the last push. I think that Kara and Devin would benefit from the stop, both are more unsettled than they want us to know by the attack, and may be able to help each other better given some stability."

"You think there's something there?"

"I think there  _could_ be, if they are able to trust each other, and that they deserve the chance."

"They're so young."

Aine chuckled, "No younger than you and Bal were when you first met, and this so called 'Purge' has caused many to grow up far faster than you may think. Families have become more like man made mosaics than the natural world. Make no mistake though, you can create something exquisitely beautiful from broken pieces. It just takes time and willing hands."

"Hunith looked over to where the pair sat, closer than they had been before, coaxing the older child to have travelling food, and distracting each other. The older woman was right, they all deserved a rest.

"Alright. Let's finish this errand Bal, and then we are going to talk about what happens next. If we change direction will Isildir be able to track us, or continue to where we were going?" She didn't like surprises and unknown variables, and there had been far too many recently.

"He'll find us. I've known him a long time dear, he'll know where we've gone."

Hunith examined her- well what was Aine to her she wondered? She's work it out later. Once she decided how much to tell Merlin about his family. Balinor looked concerned as he tried not to wake his shifting son, but content with the proposed plan, and Aine looked frustratingly serene. She'd just have to trust them for now, it wasn't as though she had any other options, and if she had she  _definitely_  wouldn't have trusted those, so this was probably the best she was going to get for now. At least they had made it to a kingdom that wasn't operating on Uther's rabidly anti-magic ideology.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone.


	9. Chapter 9

Merlin opened big blue eyes to the rugged features of his mother’s friend, and carefully poked at the edges of himself, feeling only warmth and calm, like the big fleece blanket that Will’s mum had from his dad.  “I didn’t know you could get that kind of blanket, ‘s’nice.” He mumbled, looping small arms around the man’s neck. Balinor wasn’t smiling but he didn’t feel scary, or grumpy, like some men did when he was near, just _there_ and quiet, and very warm.

The eyes that looked back at him were not the same colour as his, but the hair was, he wasn't sure why but he liked that.

Far to the south, in a coastal stronghold, a young girl sat bolt upright, the memory of her dream already fading, except for one part, the intense eyes that looked back at someone she couldn’t see. It felt like she should know them, recognise him somehow, and yet she knew it was no-one who had ever visited her parents. She knew the eyes belonged to a boy, she’d seen him before in dreams, even wondered if he maybe saw her once or twice, but he always turned back to finish what he was doing or got distracted before she could say hello. It would be nice to say hello to someone who saw her. She wasn’t allowed to talk about her dreams, especially not the scary ones, never ever, but if you talked about something when you were still _in_ a dream then it didn’t count, did it? This time there was something in the way though, and she didn’t like it, at all. Maybe he had discovered her peeking and was angry. He’d never been angry before. Or maybe he wasn’t allowed to tell either? She might have got him into trouble with his mum and dad if they found out. Maybe that was why he was cross. There wasn’t anyone to ask though. Not since the angry man visited her parents. She had hidden then, mum said she must, and she hadn’t wanted to meet him anyway. People came in lots of colours, but she had never seen green-black before, she didn’t want to again. Especially if it made you like _that._

 

Aine looked around, the sense of being watched having briefly intensified and cut off suddenly.

It was definitely not someone she knew, it lacked the taste of Nimue, it felt inexperienced, almost accidental. That was the moment that she had to force back nausea remembering her earlier reflections. It wasn’t the party being watched. It was _Emrys_ , the warlock that lit up anything magical around him, oozed power without any awareness. Anyone lonely and afraid would be drawn to it, the unfathomable storm contained in an innocent child. She prayed that the immature visitor wouldn’t fall into the grasp of any vengeful adult, knowing that _they_ certainly couldn’t help more than the warlock they already travelled with.

She could intervene, make the external atmosphere painful, but that could have the opposite effect to that intended, and she had a horrible suspicion that the reason she didn’t recognise the observer was their age, she refused to hurt children, it was a line she would not cross for anything. To do so would make her as bad as Uther. Merlin definitely needed to learn some defences and control if there were others having magical accidents. He was Trouble for sure, and seemed to have a natural gift for finding it.

“Where’re we going?” Merlin asked, noticing the different scenery as he began to look around himself with more awareness.

“South, to a wee village and a nice lady.”

Merlin looked confused for a minute and pursed his lips, “Which one is South?”

“This way,” Balinor pointed in the direction they needed to be heading.

Merlin shook his head, “No, we shouldn’t go that way. There is something...wrong...that way. Feels different to others.” Balinor paused, “A’right lad. Different. Does it feel dangerous?”

Merlin grimaced “Not to you. Not...not now? No, no, that’s not right, doesn’t make sense!”

Balinor kept the agitated child from bumping anything, “Don’t panic, that’s a good start, so not dangerous to me, and not now, that’s good. Ignore the ‘not nows’. Those aren’t important. Can you still feel it?” Merlin suddenly felt bereft as he tried to wrench himself back into only ‘Now’, “No, it’s...it’s gone. It was here. How can it be here and South? That’s two places, and mum always says you can’t be in two places at once.”

“Ah. That’s very helpful Merlin. I think I might understand now. Your mum is right about that. Aine might be able to help us solve it, will you come with me to ask her? I’m going to put you down to walk for a bit since you’re awake, and she’s looking puzzled too, so maybe it’s the same thing.”

Merlin slithered down, gracelessly, and grabbed onto Balinor’s hand. He wasn’t about to risk losing the thing that kept people out. “Hunith? He’s awake, but there’s something we need to talk to mother about, are you coming or do you just want me to share the conversation with you ‘ _this way’?”_  She was getting used to the interchanging of verbal and mental speech well really.

“Uhm, I would like to be there but I don’t want him to be holding back, so perhaps this time just help me ‘overhear’ it. He still tries not to worry me.” She frowned.

Balinor though nodded approval, it was certainly inconvenient for planning, but a common refrain from fathers throughout the five kingdoms was ‘and don’t make your mother worry.

“As you wish, love.”

Merlin was standing on one leg, wobbling slightly when Balinor looked down, “Riiight, let’s go see what she says about this then.”

He hummed a response before apparently losing concentration and tripping over, narrowly avoiding the ground. “Is missus Aine annoyed?”

“Why would she be annoyed lad?”

“Well… because I broke something big.”

A new voice interrupted Balinor’s reply, “Of course I’m not angry, child. You haven’t broken anything- at least not like you think Merlin.” her grandson frowned in confusion and she tried to help him to understand better.

“There’s more than one way to break something. You worry that whenever it happens you are shattering something like a pot we need, but imagine for a minute Merlin, what if it isn’t a pot you are breaking, but only a mould for a cast key, or brooch, or like the shell of egg? Nothing is ever unsalvageable unless it was designed with the intent of being broken. Now, whatever has the pair of you sneaking up on an old woman. Hmm?”

Balinor wasn’t fooled, but Merlin swallowed nervously before seeming to gather his courage.

“We shouldn’t go that way. Mum’s friend says we are going south, but there is a- a _wrong_ thing that way.”

Aine nodded seriously, kneeling to be on a level with Merlin. “And how exactly is it _wrong_? Did  ‘it’ have a feel, or colour?”

Merlin paused, he wasn’t used to having his ‘feelings’ taken seriously. “I...I don’t know exactly. Not like you, but more you-ish than Balinor.”

He turned back to the man feeling helpless, _“Help_ _me please?’_

“Okay s-Merlin.”  
“ _He felt someone here Mum, from the South, they feel dangerous to him, but not us, and not ‘now’ he said, they feel to him to be in two places, and he_ really _doesn’t want to go that way. I wondered if you might know who has been watching, if we know them at all?”_ The implication behind his question was clear, especially knowing that he had grown up surrounded by magic users and a variety of techniques for surveillance.

Aine smiled gently at both of them. _“Balinor, I don’t think you should panic or act rashly, I felt them, and it isn’t a magical signature I recognise. I suspect that this is the early emergence of another young witch, one like your Aunt, who is afraid and alone. Merlin is powerful and close, she simply locked onto her closest ‘safe’ person, it’s just unfortunate that he is even younger. It isn’t the first time she’s ‘seen’ him, only the first time he’s perceived it as a threat.”_

Her attention redirected to her nervous grandson, she softened her posture,  
_“Merlin, I think that you are feeling a girl who is dreaming, or finding it tricky to stay in her own mind. Since the dangerous feeling isn’t for_ now _I think we can safely keep going that way, and we’ll be extra careful since we know now that there might be someone. She might try to come back, but it’s not one of the bad people this time, you did the right thing telling us because it could have been. Have you felt it before?”_

He nodded and twisted his hands together. _“It didn’t feel frightening before.”_

Aine tilted her head encouragingly, _“What did it feel like?”_

He shrugged. _“Like she was saying hello, or looking for a friend.”_

_“Trust your instincts Merlin, they are there for a reason. Do you trust us to protect you?”_

He thought about the question for longer than Balinor liked, _“I think...I think I’m not supposed to be protected.”_ Aine’s eyes flicked towards Balinor, willing him not to react to that, _“Ok little one, but do you think that you can trust us to help you protect your mum? We have had a lot of practice, and I promise you that this not-now scary person is safe to travel near, we won’t go to visit her, only to deliver a message.”_

Merlin relaxed _, “Yes. You’re nice to mum, and to me, people share with us here and aren’t mean.”_

_“That’s right, and we aren’t going to stop doing that. I have a job for you Merlin, if you feel the person again, I want you to tell Balinor, or me. If you want them to know that you can sense_

_them you would have to have a thinner shield for them to see. If you don’t want them to know, that’s absolutely ok too. If I thought it was a grown-up I wouldn’t let them see us at all, even if they said they were nice. Dangerous grown ups can be very good at lying sometimes.”_ Merlin chewed his thumbnail absently, refocusing on Aine, _“Mummy is a_ very _good liar though, better than anyone, and she’s not bad.”_

That drew a sigh from the woman, ethics had gotten more complicated in the last few years. _“She is a very good liar, yes, one of the best at it. The difference is what she_ uses _that skill for. Mum uses her ability not to hurt people, or to steal from them, she uses it to help, and protect them, to keep people safe. Not every skill that people can learn, or even be born with, is one that others like. Some are even hated, but that isn’t the fault of those who have a talent, all we can control is how we choose to use them. Your mum makes good choices Merlin, to help people. Balinor and I try to do the same thing, and so do you._ That _shows what kind of a person you are, what kind_ we _are. Not which gifts we have.”_

Balinor looked between his mother and his son, who seemed to have an understanding of one another. _“Then we’ll keep going the way we have been, and if the feeling changes then we can decide later to change things if we need to.”_

Hunith could feel his churning emotions as he let her listen, shocked at how much Merlin had been holding back, wondering what other secrets he had locked up.

She could also feel Balinor’s increasing wish to comfort his son properly, as he could have had Merlin known him. “Go on, I think I hear your mother calling you. Don’t worry about letting go of my hand, you can still feel me, that is enough to keep the others out.”

Hunith took her cue from Balinor’s relaid words and did so, prompting her son to scamper back.

Walking with his mother, as his son did behind them, Balinor was quiet for a long time, lost in his reflections.

_“Mum?”_

She glanced over to him, glad he’d taken the time to consider things. _“Yes?”_

_“Why is this happening? Is it my fault for coming back?”_

Aine almost rolled her eyes, only restraining the urge because of the vulnerability he was allowing her to see, but refusing to pander to irrational fears of grown men when true terrors stalked the land in open daylight.

_“Honestly Balinor, don’t ask stupid questions. You weren’t coming back, you_ didn’t _come back. The goddess may have led you to the same place as Hunith and Merlin, but it’s hardly as though you returned to them in Ealdor.”_ The words were harsh, but so was the reality _. “This would have happened to him regardless of where you were, it was never_ if _, only_ how _these things emerged. He was born to this, and your presence is a greater blessing than I had dared hope for when we set off initially.”_

Balinor felt off-balance, his throat tight, aching _. “Tell me mother, what would have happened if he had still been there, if this had happened to him in the village, I can see in your mind that you know the answer.”_

The was a break before Aine gave any response, _“He would most likely have been exposed to a great deal of negative or fearful thoughts before succumbing, the village has recently been_

_caught in the conflict and raiding, and living as they do the children are often vulnerable. Merlin would have had no-one able to notice what was happening, and even less guidance or impetus to retain a grip on the solid world. He would have been at risk of getting lost in his own mind, and likely the only way of finding his way out unguided would be to try and violently shut down that aspect of himself and fight his way out. Merlin would have collapsed apparently unconscious, with the slightly higher body temperature neighbours would only have thought it a childhood fever, and without a guide-mind he would have been catatonic for several days at least. Isolating him to avoid contagion would have prevented anyone except Hunith from becoming suspicious of this specific truth. Merlin would have to try and form a barrier like the one you have to defend himself, but with his age and lack of knowledge it would be crude, and laced with fear and horror, far more raw survival instinct than skill evident and present in it, repelling his conscious mind from attempting anything similar again until placed in a crisis, and leaving it a weak point. An obvious one for anyone in future who wish to_ use _him for his talents. The boy bleeds power Balinor. My heart and my head are at odds enough over this. Of one thing you may be sure, whether you came for him or not, the goddess was always coming for Merlin, she will never abandon him and he will never be free of her. It is in our hands whether he has support to come to terms with it or not.”_

Balinor had to fight back the urge to vomit, feeling overwhelmed, _“It is as I feared then, he is a favourite?”_

_“He is Merlin.”_

_“Don’t mock me mother, my son...he is not simply a- a_ toy _, a chessman.”_

_“No. No, he is much more than that. He is a little boy, discovering a new world, a frightened child fleeing his home, confused, he is the next dragonlord, Merlin is a warlock without equal as yet in his generation, and a bastard born peasant with the blood of kings. There is no-one like your son. I have given you no_ new _information, nor will you gain any from me, and if you were anyone else I wouldn’t have reminded you of anything. I remind you because Hunith is not ready, and if we are separated someone needs to know, you must be wary, even more than before, of those who pose as friends, the purity of his magic and his spirit are extraordinary and that could be used against him. I believe that he is a favourite of the goddess at least. Look at the magic of the earth, it_ strokes _him the way his mother does, and_ he _caresses it back, instinctively .”_

_“Is there a way we can slow down the process? Pace what is happening for him?”_ Balinor tried to think of some more practical options, wanting there to be a way of easing the difficulties and pain his son would most likely be subject to.

_“Growth doesn’t work that way dear. Children go through phases, growth spurts, physically, and the same is true of their magic. In fact it is frequently linked in those who are magical, rather than simply users of magic. Merlin left just in time to avoid undergoing the next one alone in Ealdor, but he was becoming more visible_ because _of the inevitable increase. I wondered if she might not try to stay- Hunith I mean. Speak to the village elder and accept the terms issued for staying rather than choose the uncertainty. If we had not been waiting there ready, she would have gone back to them, without resources for travelling she would have been forced to return at least long enough to collect whatever they could save.”_

It was overwhelming to consider, and terrifying in magnitude, being favoured by the gods was not the unmitigated blessing that many expected it to be, it meant being tested intensively and proving oneself through trials, all of which had consequences if one tried not to play _. “What can I do for them?”_ He finally asked quietly.

_“I don’t know son, only you can discern that. All I can suggest is that you remain available to them, have you considered your options?”_

_“I don’t think that I can do so fairly when so much is being concealed from us, mother. I cannot leave Merlin at all as he is, and I also certainly can’t drag a child so small into some of the places I have been only the past few years. I don’t know why he thinks he shouldn’t be protected, but as his Father, I should at least not knowingly increase the dangers he must face.”_

_“Perhaps not, but in certain situations too much knowledge is as bad or worse as too little. As much as I want to offer you an answer I cannot, this test is yours and yours alone. To risk swaying your choice could be disastrous for you and Merlin.”_ She avoided the part about ‘and all Magic, the Old religion, and Albion.’

“You are aware of the feat he performed yesterday. I believed that it was prompted by the extremity of circumstances, yet Hunith says it is not the first time something like that has occurred.”  
“Ah, thus your suspicions of what he may be?”  
“Well yes, of course. If this is something that triggers it what was the cause before?”

Aine couldn’t quite look at him and stared into the middle distance, casting one swift glance back towards where Merlin and Hunith had paused at a patch of watercress, relieved to see the child trying to get his mother to understand why she needed to see his new woodlouse.

_“The life of a bastard child in an isolated farming community may not be full of the dangers that you have encountered, but it most certainly is not_ safe _. There have been raiders there, both slave traders and bandits, Uther’s men, winter and food scarcity is a threat to all who live there, but especially to the very young and the infirm. Merlin’s life has been endangered since before he ever drew breath thanks to Uther’s decrees and The Purge, but make no mistake, his life has been at risk in numerous other ways, and I believe that had we not been where we were and attacked by the Camelot knights, a different event would have triggered this same development, after all, it was betrayal by a friend that required them to flee in the first place.”_

“A friend?” He wanted his suspicions confirmed, to be sure that Hunith wasn’t being hunted by someone more organised, but wished he was mistaken.

“They knew where to find her supplies, find out who knew that and you’ll find the traitor.”

Balinor nodded, the corners of his lips downturned, “I wanted to be wrong.”

“If you had been unable to work that out the I would have failed at teaching you Court ways and basic strategy, I’d be more than a little displeased at your father, too. At least he and your uncle managed to keep you on the ground long enough to learn sword-craft.”  She sighed fondly.

Aine made it a habit never to think too deeply about what Uther had robbed her personally of in killing most of her male kin. The only thing on some lonely nights that had kept her from going back for him personally was that it would remind Uther of Balinor, and if he remembered where the Dragonlord had gone, he would discover Merlin.

Hunith watched them out of the corner of her eye, the conversation having notably and suddenly cut off again. She looked over to where Kara was walking beside Devin, hands occasionally brushing lightly together, appearing to lend reassurance and comfort to one another and had to agree with Aine that they had a possible future if only given the chance, she remembered that feeling of possibility and fragile hope. It was stolen from her and Balinor and she didn’t want to cost the happiness of two people who had done so much for her and Merlin. When they had the opportunity to rest she intended to make them both something to acknowledge and thank them. Next to them walked the older child, looking worryingly blank. If Isildir did manage to catch them she certainly hoped that he brought the child’s mother with him.

For themselves the younger druids were unaware of the part they played in Hunith’s considerations, less aware of others as their awareness of each other was heightened, thankfully still paying enough attention to their surroundings to avoid the worst mud alongside the river. Leaving a footprint would have been careless indeed.

Once Merlin was settled again and chattering about various insects he could see Hunith

relaxed, the pressure to keep moving less immediate now, and the anxiety she had stopped noticing easing with a destination being given that she could follow. She didn’t know exactly what Gedref was, but guessed by Balinor’s reaction that it was a place of some significance to him. Tonight was easier though, she may not know exactly which village they were going to, but most operating on a broadly similar composition and structure. She had usable skills to offer any hosts, and understood the specific pressures unexpected visitors might pose. Courtesy would be to send a scout ahead to warn them, but in same thought she wondered if that was even needed or if the mind speech could work over such a distance. If it was a village anything the one she had left then she really needed to bring some food with them if possible, looking around there should be at least some things meadowsweet, wild celery, and willow herb were a good start, but she really would prefer to bring something more substantial. Fish was the most obvious solution, especially given Merlin’s sensitivity to killing creatures he was inclined to make friends with. She wondered if spending more time with other children would have helped resolve the issue, but he’d always been that way, and she knew it had been something he and Will had argued about before. He had stopped asking her not to trap rabbits  and pheasants, but never quite managed to look happy when they caught something unless it was one of the times they had almost gone without anything.

Merlin helped as they walked along the riverbank, more steady than she had seen him around running water for a long time.

They must be getting close she thought, noting the position of the sun, when Merlin squeaked beside her, but when she looked at him he only shook his head sadly, “He put out the lights again, but not people.” Behind him she could Balinor, concern clouding his features as he held a lowered bow in his hands and it made sense, going first to collect the birds, he came and crouched down next to them. “I’m sorry Merlin, I forgot you would feel that. I have to hunt and bring some food to the people we are visiting so that we don’t leave them with too little to eat, but I will warn you next time so it isn’t a shock, ok?”

Merlin nodded. Mum’s friend didn’t say he would stop, in fact he had said the opposite, but he didn’t laugh, not like others that noticed, and he said he’d tell Merlin first, which was more than anyone else had ever done.

“I can’t put my friends in danger, can I? It would be wrong for me to do that, if your mum didn’t have warning for guests then she would serve them before herself, and there wouldn’t be enough food after, would there. This lady would do the same, and the message I must deliver will make them feel sad, so we must try not to add further to those troubles, lad.”

Biting his lip Merlin reached out his hand to Balinor, “Good friends share… like Will and me?”

“Well I don’t exactly know, you’d have to tell me more about Will and you. Is he a good friend?”

“Will’s my _only_ friend… He shares his food with me when we play together, his mum doesn’t mind but his dad doesn’t like it, Missus Edith says that’s silly because mum feeds Will plenty often enough. He shares my games, but he could only share toys if his dad wasn’t watching, ‘s’ok though, I just take my own. Will doesn’t know why he’s not allowed, but his dad gets mad, and I’m glad I did it right if good friends don’t put each other in danger.”  
“This Will, did his Dad hurt him when he was angry?” Balinor drew away his own anger at that to stop it from frightening Merlin.  
“No, not Will, but he got angry at Missus Edith for letting him do that and she’s Mum’s friend so we stopped. Was that wrong, not sharing?”

“No Merlin, that was very good, you made the right choice to keep people safe and I’m proud of you.” Merlin beamed, only mum ever told him she was proud of him.

“Being friends is tricky, no one tells you how to be one.” He frowned.

“No, and sometimes friendships don’t make sense to other people, all of them are a bit different.” Balinor said, thinking of all the different people he’d called friends over the years. Some easy and open, others gruff and argumentative enough that they could be mistaken by strangers for being adversaries. Hunith.

“Will knew I did things wrong and he still liked me. I was in trouble lots, and mum didn’t want me to be where she couldn’t help fix it. Sometimes Will would say he broke the things that were my fault, and sometimes in the cold I made their fire last longer than it should. He helped me, so I tried to help him a bit.”

“It sounds like you were both good friends too each other.” Balinor spoke gently to his son, inviting the boy to share without pressing him.

“He made me laugh lots. I miss Will. Do you think maybe he misses me too?”

The man smiled warmly and ruffled  Merlin’s hair softly, “Oh, I’m sure that he does, very much. Friendship is one of those things that doesn’t end when you can’t see one another though, it’s a thing that you carry inside you, even when you can’t be together. Just because you are apart doesn’t mean you are forgotten.”

Merlin looked intently at Balinor, like he was trying to figure something out and a relieved smile reappeared, “Like you and Mum! You were apart and sad ‘cause you missed each other. She is happy you came back too.”

Just as Balinor was about to launch into an awkward denial and insistence of it being different Hunith came to his rescue, “Yes dear, exactly, just like you and William.” She rested a hand lightly on the boy’s shoulder.

Merlin’s face fell as he turned seriously to Balinor. “The birds that you-that we need, had a nest. Without their mother the eggs will die anyway, we should take those for your friend-lady.”

Listening seriously to the boy, the dragonlord nodded, “Alright, do you know where to find them?” Merlin didn’t answer, instead walking to the water’s edge and along with a quiet resolve that convinced the adults he certainly did, until he found the place he was looking for, and leaning forward, extracted all but two of the eggs with nimble fingers, putting them into the neckerchief his mother always made him wear when they were going to be out all day. Bringing them to his father he looked at his feet, shuffling awkwardly, “The animals are my friends too, I didn’t want to take everything from them.” Hunith stifled a smile and took the full neckerchief back to the basket where they had been gathering before their son took off.

Recognising what the honesty cost Merlin and that he was expecting censure for it, Balinor tilted his chin upwards, “Thank you Merlin, we could not have found them without you, it was wise to leave some for the animals of this place, and what we collected will be a great help to my friend.”

Merlin nodded, still quiet, but surer of his decision.

“They were going to die anyway without their mummy, and I’m not allowed to wake them up again.” His brows knitted together “I can’t remember why but it’s important.”

Balinor calmed his trembling and kept his voice artificially light, “No, you shouldn’t. Who told you that Merlin?” He looked troubled as he hunched into himself again. “Don’t know, no-one, I just am not to try and fix them. Only small things, never that. You’re angry.”

Balinor closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “No Merlin, I’m not angry, only afraid that someone might have been talking to you or trying to get you into trouble.”

“I didn’t tell anyone, not even mummy, it worries her if my magic does things,” And like that, taking responsibility for one’s own magic went on the list of Things to Talk about.  
“I just _wanted_ the little rabbit to be ok so much, but when it woke up something was wrong, and then there was a tree-lady who said something about balance, and I told her that I was very bad at balancing, then she looked sad and told me I was actually very good at it, even though she was wrong, and that I must never try and wake something if it had stopped breathing.”

Poor kid, thought Balinor, how confusing it must all have been for him, especially if half the creatures of the magical world thought they could just invite themselves along for a chat- though _that_ one had definitely been necessary. The mere _thought_ of a child playing or experimenting with life and death magicks, trying to reanimate a body without the guidance of a High Priestess sent shivers down his spine. “She was absolutely right, Merlin, you must never, ever try that, I will help you to understand why one day, but until then, let’s leave it at never being done, or tried, because it will hurt others. You didn’t know what you were doing love, which means you weren’t doing it for any bad reasons, but it also makes it even more dangerous because if something went wrong you wouldn’t know how to stop it getting worse. Do you remember what the lady looked like?”

Merlin bit his lip and glanced away, “Pretty. Brown. She was all smooth, and her eyes were green, her feet were funny, and her voice was not like other voices.”

Nodding to himself, Balinor concentrated on maintaining his calm, “I don’t think she would want to hurt you, especially if she warned you to be careful. Dangerous people would mostly have wanted you to do it again, and something like that should never be used that way. If the wrong person saw they would hurt the people you love.” Balinor had realised that warnings about his own safety would likely mean less to Merlin, but any threats to Hunith received his full attention and concentration. “You won’t tell her then?” the warlock looked worriedly at his father.

“No Merlin, I won’t.” Gods he wanted to, but it was Merlin’s power to bear, and Hunith wouldn’t understand the full significance. Truth be told, he envied her that now.

“She’ll notice if we take any longer to catch up though, and I don’t want to explain why we are dithering, especially after you got that neckie all soggy…”

Hunith was indeed beginning to cast questioning looks their way.

Merlin caught Balinor’s free hand- away from the still fresh kills- “Mum likes flowers, especially red ones, you should bring her some of those.”

“Oh, and what makes you think she’d accept flowers from _me_?”

“You look the same way she does, Happy-sad. She likes flowers, I think most girls do, ‘cause missus Edith does, an’ Rhianna got all silly when boys gave her flowers.” He looked appalled at the silliness of girls, “they weren’t even nice smelling ones.”

“Would you mind Merlin, if I brought your mum flowers? Or maybe honey sometimes? Or something else nice?” He felt the weight of Merlin’s gaze, judging him, evaluating his sincerity. “Do you promise not to hurt her, not even if she makes you really, really cross?”

“I will never hurt Hunith, Merlin.” Balinor spoke quietly and kindly,

“And will you tell her stories? She really likes stories, and songs, Mum says that’s why I like them.”

“Well, I can certainly try to tell her good stories. I can’t sing as well as I once could though, my voice got all gravelly.”

Merlin nodded sagely, “The boy in Aine’s story got a different voice too when he grew up.”

Pleased that Merlin didn’t seem to be _against_ the idea of him courting his mother, or treating her with more open affection, Balinor allowed that part of himself to feel lighter, even if a great deal of his psyche felt weighed down by everything he now knew.

He was tempted to present Hunith with a sweet smelling conjured bouquet but under the circumstances it seemed unwise to use any flashy magic, like out of season blooms. “That tends to happen to boys when they get older. Especially if their work involves shouting. Perhaps later you could help me think of some things she’d like.”

Merlin grinned “Yes. No one else gives mum presents, she should get them like other people do.”  No one else had _noticed_ that mum wasn’t given presents, or wanted to change it, and he liked that her old friend did. He wondered how Mum knew him, they seemed so different. When he told Balinor so he chuckled deeply, “Aye, your mother is the better half of us though. I’d been around people who thought too much of themselves for some time before I met her, and was running from something.”

“The bad king.” Merlin nodded, having misheard ‘mad king’ somewhere, he wasn’t wrong really..

“Er- yes. So I ran, because my friends asked me to, and some helped with an escape plan. One of them had a sister, your mother, and told me to go to her house, because no one in Camelot

knew he had a sister. He didn’t tell them so that no one mean would look for her. When I found her village she was known by everyone, and the kindest person I had ever met. She let me stay with her for a while. We made each other laugh, and helped each other. She was always special, your mum.  We grew up in different places, I moved around a lot, and Hunith stayed mostly in one place, knew different stories, dances, even some celebrations were different, but different isn’t bad. I taught her some things, and she taught me other ones.”

“Why did you not teach her magic?” Merlin asked, puzzled.

“Because that isn’t how magic works, lad. You can’t teach magic to someone who doesn’t have enough in them to use, and it was dangerous for her to know me, it would be even less safe to show someone how to use magic. You can’t choose whether or not you have it, only what you do with it.”

Merlin was quiet and held on to Balinor’s hand a little tighter _“I have magic in me.”_

His father wrapped a comforting aura around him, keeping his tone firm. _“Yes, you have a lot of magic in you, so we need to teach you how to control it a bit better, it’s less dangerous to teach you than leave you knowing nothing and still with lots of magic.”_

_“So if mum had no magic, where did I get mine?”_

_“That’s a good question, but I only have a part of the answer. Magic like yours comes partly from a father, but there are other things that can change how it works, make it more, or less. I might be able to help you understand more when I’ve spoken to Hunith and Aine. Your magic is for using for good, it is beautiful, and it’s a part of you, like mine is a part of me, and Aine’s part of her.”_

_“Does Kara have magic? She sparkles sometimes.”_

_“Hmm? Yes she does, but it’s a different kind. Her magic is only really meant for healing, it doesn’t like to do other things.”_

_“What is_ my _magic for? It does lots of things,”_ the lots of things often made him feel nervous and worried.

_“I don’t know yet.”_ Balinor half-lied. _“How about I watch for a while and see? We know you can move things, and find things others can’t, I know you can feel other and talk to them in their minds. You can do fire, and stop things if you get scared.”_ Merlin wasn’t sure when he told the man about starting fires exactly, but he seemed to know a lot already.

“Look, the village is just on the other side of that hill on the higher ground, we should regroup, so that everyone is moving together, when we can see it Aine can send Devin ahead to warn them of visitors, and we’ll get there before it’s full dark.”

They caught up to Hunith easily, and watched the tension leave her as a familiar type of settlement came into view. A silent command from Aine had Devin breaking into a run to carry the warning of a group visit to those anticipating only two adult men. Merlin could sense magic in two of the huts, but had gone quiet for the time being, taking comfort from Hunith beside him. He didn’t like being here, but he also knew they had to be, so tried to focus on the community fire-pit that promised songs and stories before the night was done.

Aine retook her place at the front of the group and noting how close her son and grandson stood nodded solemnly and whispered silently back to Hunith, _“Time to make a decision my dear.”_

Seeing the same thing Hunith knew she was right, and closed her eyes against the inevitable, wishing she too could freeze time.

 


	10. Chapter 10

When they reached the perimeter of the settlement several people were waiting anxiously on them. Still it was a warmer welcome than the chagrined looking Devin had received, but usually a bedraggled, grimey young man running towards them was not good news, so running to the huts and gathering weapons and children together was a fairly reasonable reaction.

Merlin shrunk silent behind Hunith, hoping to avoid notice, and very aware that at least one set of eyes was immediately drawn to him. That woman had dark curls and the same sort of sparkle around the edges that Kara sometimes did. A girl about his age was holding onto her, and a taller one next to her watched the approaching adults warily. He didn’t think she liked strangers much.

That was ok. He didn’t either. He tried though. Standing forward from them was a tall man, bearded, with dark blonde hair, and an axe at his hip. He was in charge Merlin knew. He was good at spotting who was really in charge, even if they weren’t the ones that should be.

 

The man who he thought was probably the head of the village reached out to grip Balinor’s hand and he wondered if they knew each other as the dark man returned the gesture without reservation, he didn’t smile though, and the warmth faded from the headman’s face as he noticed something.

“You have come alone?”

“No. As you see I come with a great deal of news. All of which would be best delivered in a less public setting if you would allow us the hospitality of your hearths.”

The man with hair like flax jerked his head towards the largest of the houses, “Follow me, there is a little bread and stew. What shall I call you today?”

Balinor’s gazed flicked to Kara with a small smile, “Today I am going by Bran, if that suits.”  
“Indeed. I’d ask what it was short for, but I know what you’d say.”

“Just as well your food is better than your conversation, Ken.”

They trailed after the man with varying amounts of enthusiasm. Balinor keeping his air of quiet authority for now, and Aine standing back to allow it until she knew where they stood better, Kara and Devin deeply unsettled, neither having been particularly at home in permanent villages to begin with, and Merlin doing his best still not to be seen as he gripped Hunith’s hand tighter and pushing down his jumpy magic as it reacted to his increased anxiety.

 

_“It’s ok little one. Don’t panic, remember?”_

Aine winked at her grandson. _“Won’t it be nice to sit down round a nice fire?”_

Merlin hummed noncommittally, receiving a sharp glance from his mother, who had her unreadable mask on. Merlin didn’t like that face, it never meant anything good.

 

Inside the house was much the same as any other, though clearly intended to be central and able to accomodate a village council or travellers deemed requiring supervision. Like themselves.

There were a few low stools, and two smooth- sanded logs by the hearth, the usual soft furnishings visible, and a couple of screens for sleeping areas. The woman with the soft shimmer looked them over more closely and quickly led Kara and Devin to the fireside, the warmth and shelter stripping away the veneer of composure and leaving the two more exposed than they had been in any of their wanderings. No tears shone in Kara’s eyes, but her shaking was as obvious to Merlin as to the woman who brought over a blanket to wrap around her shoulders. Tears were an unnecessary part of sadness. Merlin looked at his mother’s quiet demeanor, and to Balinor’s serious face, and had a horrible feeling that there was going to be a lot more sadness before bed, it was the same sense that warned of news about raiders, or Cenred’s men at home. No, he thought, at not-home, they were looking for a new one. He looked around the house and couldn’t quite help the fear that prickled in his heart, _not here_ , whispered his mind. This shouldn’t be their new home, not yet anyway.

The fence around his mind seemed to falter for a moment and he felt the break being fixed at the same time as Balinor directed a keen glance towards him.

The deep voice whispered in his mind, blocking out everything else for a moment, _“Be calm Merlin, find the still place inside you,_ let _your magic gather, don’t fight it. I am not frightened by it, and neither is anyone else here. Close your eyes while you concentrate dear, they are golden. It’s beautiful, but let’s not alarm you mum, she does not know our hosts yet.”_ Balinor’s voice was warm and non-threatening, becoming steadily more familiar as the exchanges continued. Merlin liked the way his mind felt quiet and strong.

 

Balinor drew his concern away from the connection to his son, his magic really was alarmingly strong, swirling, deeper than any he’d felt before. How he hadn’t been crushed by it, or at the very _least_ found Balinor had no idea. That Merlin’s magic didn’t frighten him was only half a lie, the magic itself certainly didn’t, but the burden it would place on Merlin and the trials it would inevitably bring him scared the living daylight out of him.

That in his emotional state he had almost breached the shielding Balinor provided made it a priority for his father to help Merlin build his own defences, before he was shocked into closing himself off to it consciously. Especially since the presence of another had caused him such distress.

Assured that his son was in no longer in imminent danger of losing control he refocused his attention on their hosts, girding himself for a conversation he never wanted to have, knowing he couldn’t avoid it any longer.

Aine stepped closer to Hunith, “Shall we sit by the fire, or do you want to be a part of their discussion dear? I suspect it may be of benefit to keep Merlin occupied away from this one, maybe get him fed just now?”

Hunith nodded. Looking a lot more absent minded and plain-peasant like than Aine knew the astute woman was.

_“Do you want to stand beside him openly, or maintain a distance?”_

Hunith showed no reaction to the projected words, but relinquished Merlin’s hand,

“Go and sit by the fire with Aine Merlin, your hands are chilled, and I am sure hers could do with some warming too.”

Merlin looked up at her, slightly puzzled “Missus Aine’s hands are always warm mum, like bread just outta the oven.”

“Well you go and make sure it’s not all the heat escaping okay? There’ll be food coming round soon enough, and I need to speak to your- to Bran.” Confusion was clear on his face as he looked around them for someone else.

_“Balinor, dear, he is using a pretend name so no one can follow him by asking directions.”_

_“Oh. Do I have to get a new name?”_

His grandmother cringed, shrinking from that prospect. He already had too many names, only some of which she knew.

_“No love, perhaps when you are older. Some names are unusual, or can be followed more easily, some grown ups decide to choose their own names to use, like others have nicknames. I bet that Will had another name, didn’t he.”_

Merlin screwed up his face. _“His mum called him William if we was in trouble. His dad never called him Will.”_

 _“Well, tonight, Bal is using Bran, but no matter what name we use for people it never changes who they are inside. You will always be Merlin, no matter what anyone calls you.”_ She smiled softly and extended her arm to give her grandson the choice, glad when he accepted the offer.

“Good choice Merlin, shall we go and investigate what snacks there might be, I’m sure your mother won’t be long.” The small warlock drifted over and settled against her side, trying not to yawn, “You can go to sleep if you like dear, but if you wait a little longer there will be a comfier place to curl up ready for us.” Merlin nodded, avoiding looking at anyone else. They could wait until later.

 

Hunith tried to slow her racing heart as she walked towards her dragonlord and hesitantly placed her hand on his arm, sending him a look of silent encouragement.

His fingers tightened almost imperceptibly over her fingers as he placed his hand to her own.

“Go on love.” her voice at his ear was low enough not to carry.

Balinor took a seat at the table and gestured to the village leader and the woman who recognised him to sit, which they did, both looking grave.

“When I left you and your daughters here it was with the clear intent of returning with your husband. He was a good friend to me, and always the best of men.” he made sure to meet the eyes of the woman whose hope he had to douse, and watched her register the use of the past tense as her breath caught. “I followed the trail closely, he was unable to stay long in one place of course, but skilled at evading anyone he needed to. I am am grieved greatly my lady, that having successfully found him, and enjoyed once more the privilege of travelling with him, I was unable to return with him and reunite you. It is with greatest sorrow that I must bring you the news of his death as we were leaving one of our necessary stops. He gave me some letters, to you and I assume your daughters, to be delivered if he was unable for any reason to return to you as he longed to.” He dropped his eyes as he reached into his pack to extract a packet of sealed letters. “I swore to him I would see these reached you and your daughters.”

“You swore to him. He knew then? That he would not live.” She looked piercingly at Balinor, her devastation clear to see, yet her voice still strong. “Tell me what happened to my husband, _Bran_ . Tell me why he is not here today, and you are. I had not believed you one to abandon a _friend_ to their fate.”   
Balinor nodded, accepting her anger. “Of course, and I assure you that had he not ordered me to I certainly would not have. Your husband...he was a good man, Merryn, and he did not die in some pointless manner, his life was not stolen from him but willingly given. I was too late to intervene. Ciaran told me much about his girls in our travels. He would.. I mean, he always wanted to make you proud and he was a hero that day, because of his actions and sacrifice there are two little girls alive today. He- he took the blame for a nine year old’s accidental magic. The community were already somewhat cautious, what with the idiotic rumours of one twin being the child of a demon. We couldn’t save everyone, and he chose the children, so you’re right. I ran. He demanded I release them and bid me to take them, and run. Otherwise it would have been three deaths, and two barely old enough to understand.”

Her composure finally broke as she heard what her husband’s final act had been and found herself wrapped in another mother’s steadying embrace. As her sobbing eased she turned back to the man who remained still next to her. “Did they...Was it worth it?”

Balinor heard what she didn’t ask. “He saw them freed. We got far enough away, they survived this ordeal and have been placed with _sympathetic_ guardians. No longer together, but hidden, and cared for.”

Chewing her lip Merryn head jerked once and though the hope was gone a resolution began to replace it. “Then it was worth it. _He_ would consider it worthy. Even without the proper rites his spirit will be at rest. We all knew what we risked, I will honour his last decision. Thank you for giving me your account, it does not ease my pain but gives us the chance to heal. My daughters will know the truth of their father. He always loved them, and even when it cost him his life he did the right thing. If there’s nothing else urgent I want... I need to speak to the girls. I’d usually offer to open our home to any travellers but tonight I can’t. We just can’t.”

Her tears were silent as Hunith rubbed her arms, “Of course. May we- I mean, would you allow someone to check on you later, bring anything?”

Merryn shook her head, pulling away. “Not tonight thank you. Perhaps come morning it may be useful to check. He’s hardly my first loss, though the grief is not less, but the girls will take this hard.” Hunith accepted the answer without question.

“I will leave you now, Kenneth, Bran.”

No one could say ‘goodnight’ on such an evening.

 

The three who remained were silent as Merryn left, collecting her younger daughter from the smooth bench, where she had sat by Merlin, and leading her by the hand solemnly from the fire.

Kenneth looked between the pair opposite him, waiting until the door closed to speak again, “So Bran, I see you finally found a woman who could slip behind your walls? I’d wondered if you were going to pine forever!” The smile faded as Balinor shook his head and the man wondered if he had been mistaken about the dynamic between them.

“No Ken, it seems the gods have seen fit to reunite me with the one I lost years ago, her village has recently been the target of increasingly frequent raids and we met on the trail here.” He squeezed Hunith’s hand lightly.

“Well then, it would appear your declarations of the gods abandonment of you and your people were not quite accurate. As the… whatever you are exactly… to _Bran_ here you are very welcome Hunith, he has done a great deal to help us without drawing unwanted attention. As is your son. Sorry, an assumption, I mean the child who you protect of course.”

Balinor glared at his tactless friend, “Do shut up Ken, before you _actually_ manage to offend someone, not that any of us here are particularly thin skinned after enduring everything  thrown our way, but you sound like an eejit.”

Hunith stepped in to prevent them from escalating the bickering, “Thank you, sir, for your generosity in sharing your home and fare  when we gave so little warning of our arrival. The child is mine, and I am a partner to Bran.”

Kenneth nodded approvingly, “Aye. Though if you are planning to continue travelling together this way, you may want to disguise the similarities between them. Possibly change the kid’s hair colour, the darker kids are viewed with more suspicion anyway. More likely to have druid blood or something, says rumour. ‘Course the ones with my colouring are more like’ to be from raiders and them Saxons, but that don’t get ye killed.”

“No, no it doesn’t. I’d appreciate it if you kept that bit of speculation to yourself though. Especially as Bran is not my husband.”

“He don’t need to be to look like your boy there, that ain’t how nature works. I’m right, aren’t I.”

Hunith’s features hardened. “Merlin and I have been alone all his life, he met _Bran_ less than two days ago. You will _not_ make this more difficult for us than it already is. I agreed to coming here with _him_ because there was news that some poor woman needed and deserved to hear, not to listen to someone making ill-conceived guesses and slinging dirt. If you want us gone _say it_ , and if you don’t, you can find the decency to apologise to me properly. Now if you _don’t mind_ there are some birds I have to prepare since we did not come empty handed to your village this night.” With eyes blazing fiercely Hunith grabbed them from Balinor and stormed out, hoping that for once that _this_ man _could_ feel anger and frustration from others.

Balinor didn’t try and stop her as just took his kill to use to do something constructive with the agitation.

“That wasn’t helpful Ken. Why? You don’t just blurt out assumptions or we wouldn’t _be_ friends.”

He grimaced. “Aye, sorry ‘bout that. I won’t tell nob’dy, never told ‘em _you_ were alive, did I?”

Balinor inclined his head, “There’s that at least.”

“Look, ye need t’get off the road again. There was some fancy fowk came lookin’ fer ye no’ long after ye left last time. I don’t know if they’re still out there followin’ ye or ‘ave giv’n up yet, an’ I didnae ask. Couldn’t risk ‘em comin’ sniffin’ around the village again, or we’d be no use to ye. Yer woman’ll want to stop ca’in aw fowk ‘sir’ or ‘milady’. It ain’t a sign o’ respect no more. No ‘round the borders  especially. If she’s no yer wife yet, ye’ll be wantin’ t’do somethin’ ‘bout that. There’s been certain o’ the Lords takin’ wimmin they say are unclaimed and usin’ ‘em. No’ here yet, but if ye’re travellin’ they’ll find ye ‘ventually. Figured ye’d be wantin to know that _before_ ye left again, an’ no wantin’ _her_ t’think ye dinnae ask fer the ‘right’ reasons. Had to make sure she was closed to the conversation.”

Balinor rolled his eyes hard, “And you couldn’t think of a better way than to make her angry?”

“Well ye did kinda take me a’ unsuspecting like. Turning up wi’ a woman. Never have seen ye like that.”

“You, Ken, are an _idiot_ , a complete oaf of a man, and Hunith can’t ‘hear’. Unless you speak directly into her mind deliberately she won’t hear.” There was a hiss in the underlying dragonlord- rumble this time,

“But you...but she... _Was_ I wrong about the child’s  parentage? ‘Cause he looks the spit o’ you as a lad, but your brethren wouldna’ ‘a let ye bed a mute woman, let alone breed her.”

“Aye.” Balinor lowered his voice further, “An’ they might have had a point once, but my kin are all long dead now, and the reason _I’m_ still alive rather than rotting with them in a mass grave is that woman. Make no mistake, she is beyond strong, and I’d rather face the wrath of Morrigan herself than Hunith’s. So I suggest watching your tongue, and begin with an apology when you see her again. Besides, I’m the _Last_ Dragonlord to catch, the end of that genocide. Best not forget that my friend.”

Ken’s eyes were serious as they drifted over to the travellers clustered by the fire.

_“Of course, My Lord. As before, there are no more, and could never be. A dragonlord mates for life after all, and you never wed. He will need to be known by something. I can’t use E- whichever name you are travelling by. I know you wouldn’t have given him a dull name, one that’s hard to track Balinor.”_

_“I gave him no name at all, his mother did though, and it suits him.”_

_“Unique then”_ Balinor looked at Ken sharply, noting the uncomfortable head-shake and shrug. Another one. He sighed heavily.

_“What do you mean by that?”_

_“It doesn’t matter. What would you name him_ now _for this stay?”_

 _“Nothing to suggest a connection.”_ He paused. _“If anyone asks, Cador. Simple and not so suggestive of where they hail from, no links to myth or legends.”_

Ken look around quickly and seemed to reach a decision as his gaze settled on the group huddled at the hearth. Reaching up he removed the brooches from his cloak, and as he did so the tattoos that ran along his arms and across his chest, traces of a past that was always hidden now, became visible to all eyes again, he tossed the heavy cloak onto the table.

“Take these.” He held the disk brooches, clearly made by a master metalworker, towards Balinor.

Torn, weary from all that had unfolded, Balinor began to decline, knowing that there was no non-magical way to cover druidic tattoos, and Ken curled the man’s stiff fingers around them, wrapping his other hand around them. “I’ve seen that look in your eyes afore man, you’re no’ stayin’. I can enchant another set before anyone notices us, and I don’t harbour traitors here so I don’t, so nae need t’ trouble yerself about risks. Ye need them more’n I do an’ they’re gladly giv’n. I’d offer ye the plain ones but ye wouldn’t have the time to cast anything complex before ye’ve to move on. Ye’ll have to make do with the fancier ones. It’s a simple enough glamour, and protection spell. There’s a spare cloak that’d just about fit ‘im if’n you’ll have it for the lad. I doubt ‘is mam’ll accept anythin’ from me, or I’d offer. Usually I’d ask Merryn, but she’ll be in no state to help th’ night. Nor for many to come I think. Ye did the right thing comin’ t’ her. She’ll grieve her man, but there’ll come a day when th’ sun shines a bit brighter again, an’ her heart is less heavy. She knows for sure what happened t’ him, an’ that he died a good man, savin’ wee lassies.”

Balinor accepted the offering and dropped his head to his chest. “I couldn’t save him, Ken. I can never save them _all_. Before I met Hunith on the road, all of them, I’d lost faith. This was my last trip. I was going to go into exile properly, the way Uther expects us all to accept. The way he keeps Kilgarrah. I can feel _his_ pain every waking moment. It felt only right to join him, since it’s my fault he’s suffering. I think, if I hadn’t met them, I’d have ended up living like a wildman, alone in some cave. Only the magic and the pain for company.”

Ken raised a brow and folded his arms across his broad chest. “Doesn’t sound like much of a life that. Think I might rather take my chances, or die young.”  
“Aye. I know the feeling, but I could never do that as long as one dragon lives. I _would_ never leave him that way. Cut off so much, he’d go mad. If his plan of escape worked one day, no-one could restrain the vengeance he’d seek. I never had a choice, even in this what I am dictates it. I’m not so heartless as to abandon innocents to ‘Garrah’s righteous wrath.”  
“I’m sorry. _For everything_.”  Balinor felt chilled, as he recognised the tone in which Seers would apologise for future events and losses. Hadn’t he lost enough?

“And I’m sorry I couldn’t bring better news.”

Ken shrugged. “Little news that passes through ‘ere is good these days. Ne’er lose sight of the light though, it always burns brightest in the dark. Sounds like ye’ve had plenty news of yer own these few days fer sure. The wean’s fidgetin’ an’ a’ now, we’d best be getting them settled. Can I assume that _he_ isnae mind-deaf?”   
“I think that is fair, yes. He is many things, but that is not one of them.”   
_I bet he is_ thought Ken.

“I’d tell ye ye’re welcome to talk t’me about anythin’, but I suspect that in this case it’s probably best not to. I care ‘bout ye, ye know? An if ye’ve ever need of a roof of a night, ye know where I am.” Ken cleared his throat, that had unhelpfully begun to ache and choke his words. “Right then. Let’s get the sleepin’ places sorted. Plenty furs as always, an a fleece each. Wee lad goin’ in with his mum th’ night, I assume?”  
Balinor nodded his agreement, “Aye, keep the familiarity, it’s the first night they’ve been in a house since their own.”   
“An’ yersel’? With Hunith and her son, or separate?”

Balinor grimaced. “After your performance, perhaps it’s best to leave a separate one an option, at least until I speak to her. There’s a great deal we’ve yet to resolve.”

Ken wondered exactly how much about his son Balinor knew. He couldn’t know he was Emrys, or they’d never have dared come to _him_ , but from Balinor’s avoidance of old heroes names that were often given to young boys, or his over reactions to some offhand remark, he was clearly aware that the child was unusual. With a woman from outside the typical marriage pool for a Dragonlord, or even just one raised with druids, there would certainly be complications. The only way it could really be more messy would be if she was of the New religion. He wasn’t sure what the triple goddess would do then to retrieve her son. How had he lived to see such days?

 

Aine took the bowl of stew that was offered by the woman who moved quietly around the home, she vaguely recognised her, but certainly hadn’t seen her recently. The rising steam and savoury smell catching Merlin’s attention immediately.

“Like before dear.” A spoon rested against the edge, and some fresh flat-bread. Merlin’s stomach growled and he perked up immediately, almost inhaling the food. He was used to always having just about enough to keep the hunger at bay, and noticed that there wasn’t really quite enough in the pot for as many people as were present now and was quite suddenly glad that they had brought meat and eggs with them. It was a strange feeling, like he’d done something to help feed someone in return.  Many of the things were similar to his own village, but there were some that felt distinctly unfamiliar, including the people. Unfamiliar people made his magic itch, like he had to be ready all the time, though he wasn’t sure for what.

He could sense that everyone around him was throwing lots of feelings around, and wondered if it would be easier if he _listened_ , until he heard someone crying. He pulled everything back in, mind and magic, and promptly dropped his destabilised bowl. He didn’t want to feel something that made a grown up cry. Mum wasn’t the one crying at least, that was good. He knew by now that if a grown up cried it usually meant that someone had died, or was going to. He didn’t want to die, even though some people said he should have, because he knew it would make Mum cry. He wondered sometimes if they were right, and it was a mistake that he was still alive, because sometimes when that happened lots of people cried together, but he _knew_ that only Mum would cry for him. Well, Mum and Will, if his dad wasn’t looking. He wondered if Balinor would feel how Mum felt one day. They were very different from one another, but there was something that felt the same about them. Mum felt different from others because she loved him, Merlin knew, maybe  Balinor felt different because he loved Mum. Merlin hoped so. It would be nice for them to be not alone. Maybe if a man was with Hunith villagers would be nice to her, and though he wasn’t sure exactly what to think of Balinor her could feel the calm of the man’s mind around his own, and knew the man would protect Mum if Merlin couldn’t. He wasn’t sure how to do that properly now. Before they had to leave home it was easy, he was supposed to protect them by not using magic, and that was very, very hard, but easy to remember rules. The rules were not the same now, and that was… well that was harder than trying to do the impossible thing that he understood, because now he wasn’t sure what they were and how to make them all safe. And he wasn’t exactly sure who made the rules here. Mum always did for him, but Aine did for others, and the new man made Rules for the village. He could feel his breathing quickening and his hands beginning to shake, and then there were arms wrapping around him, bringing the small body against a solid one. “I’ve got you, breathe with me now. Hand on my heart if you need to count.”

 _“Close your eyes Merlin, you’re safe. Aine’s bringing your Mum in. It’s just me.”_ Balinor mentally sighed _. “You pulled it all back in and scrunched up to hide, didn’t you. Don’t worry about the bowl, there’s plenty of bread, and nothing broken. I want you to open your eyes and keep them fixed on me ok, let the magic uncurl. Good boy. It’ll feel a bit bruised, suddenly pulling away like that.”_ He smiled _, “No matter, nothing damaged, are you with me now?”_

_Merlin chewed his thumb and shook his head.  “I don’t know the right rules. If I break the rules someone will find us, but it’s not the same here.”_

Balinor felt frustration burn through his veins. _“I won’t let anyone hurt you. You had the best rule you could have before, because there was no-one to help, but not being alone means we can use some better rules and help each other. Aine and I have a lot of practice and know how to fix mistakes that magic can make, but mum didn’t have that! So you both had to use the very hardest one. Don’t panic.”_ Merlin looked up to Balinor and saw a man he barely recognised standing behind him _. “Look at the man, Bali- Bran he has pictures, and patterns. We’re not allowed to have those, not even the kind that wash off in the stream. Will an’ me did it once, and his mum was so cross he couldn’t play with me for aaaaages, and mum was sad. It’s a Rule. No skin drawings. Only in the dirt. No curls unless it’s letters with her there, only straight lines and animals. I like letters- do you know how to do them?”_

Balinor smiled, remembering sitting with Hunith and refining her handwriting, showing her different runes, the words of Gallia. How delighted she had been by the revelation of different languages. She had a gift for it, and might have carried on learning if he hadn’t had to leave.

 _“Yes, I know my letters, in many languages. I’m very glad your mother has begun to teach you too. The Rule against skin marking was only made_ after _my friend had already been given his, so he hides them.”_

_“Not now. I can see them.”_

Balinor reached for patience _“I know. So can everyone else. He took off the thing he was using to disguise his skin and gave them to me.”_ He held them out _, “See these brooches? They have magic would through them, he gave them to me to use, and will make himself another. There is nothing wrong with having skin drawings though. They are called tattoos, and each of his have meaning. Just like mine does.”_

_“You broke the Rule too? Does Mum know?”_

Balinor chuckled at the way Merlin’s eyes went wide, _“Hunith knows. I had mine before it wasn’t safe. They help me to concentrate, and return if my mind got caught up when I was young, like an anchor. They told people who my family were when that was still a good thing. I cover them up now too, but don’t need to use a brooch like this. Aine has two, and they are always hidden under her clothes.”_

Merlin felt rather dizzy with all the rule changing. It was supposed to be naughty to break them, but Mum didn’t behave like all these people were.

_“We cover them to be safe, not because the Rule against them is right. The Bad king decided they were not ok when lots of people, like us, already had ours.  Some marks identify friends, but not all, others show who someone belongs to. If you see one you don’t know, always tell us.”_

Merlin bit his lip _, “Can I see yours?”_

_“That’s up to your Mum, Merlin. Not here. Only Ken- the big man- knows about mine, or what I did before magic people had to hide, and I don’t want anyone else to find out. The lady who brought food is his wife, and she already knows, he is in no danger from the villagers. Many had to leave their homes when men came or attacked, and they trust Ken to keep them safe.”_

Merlin watched Balinor carefully, _“They don’t trust_ us _do they?”_

Balinor’s heart felt heavy as he answered _. “It’s not us that they don’t trust Merlin, they trust you, and they trust me, but they don’t trust that there couldn’t be someone looking for us, and that is sensible. They are afraid of the same people who want to find me, and you. Scared people are not always friendly.”_

 _“They aren’t very good at playing pretend here either.”_ Merlin’s mental voice was petulant.

 _“No, but some are also just very sad because they hoped to see someone they loved arriving with me, and instead I had to bring them news that he died, so they aren’t upset that we are here, only that_ he _isn’t here with us. The lady you saw earlier and the girls are his family.”_

Merlin nodded slowly, _“Not having all of a family shouldn’t mean you get to be mean to people and angry.”_

 _“No Merlin. It shouldn’t.”_ His father agreed.

 _“Mum doesn’t have a whole family and she isn’t mean to anyone.”_ Balinor winced at the truth.

 _“No, but she does have you, and she is very much loved.”_ He paused, _“Do you think a family would help her?”_

Merlin shifted uncomfortably _. “Don’t know. Not one likes Will’s. She doesn’t like bullying, and has an angry-inside face when she treats those hurts. Maybe_ she _could have a mum. One to look after her.”_ Balinor looked up to see Aine standing just behind a worried looking Hunith, and beckoned them forward. _“What if she could adopt one? I know someone who might be interested in being Hunith’s mother.”_ Merlin looked at him suspiciously, _“What if mum doesn’t like them. I don’t think you can just decide to be a family. They just...are.”_  Balinor’s lips twitched.

“Look, here she is now. Since you’ve done such a brilliant job of calming down I’m going to leave you to speak to her on your own while I sort out where Kara and Devin will stay tonight, and check these brooches with Aine, just to make sure that I haven’t missed anything important about them.” He stood back and indicated Hunith should sit with their son.  

Aine locked gazes with her son, raising an elegant brow in query. “ _Outside Mother.”_

 

The two younger druids sat with their heads bent towards one another, seeming to talk silently, as the older boy was sat at the table with Ken’s wife comforting him over a warm drink, setting Aine’s mind at ease enough to leave the house with Balinor.

They stepped out into the chill of the early night air and walked in silence to the treeline around the village, just far enough to be out of notice. Balinor turned to look to the sky, knowing Aine would follow his movements and understand the groan that he couldn’t hold back “You finally noticed.”

He glared half heartedly at her, “And you never did forget.”

“What kind of Druid would I be if I couldn’t even keep track of the lunar cycle? That’s barely defensible for a non druid woman.”

“What were you expecting to happen?”

Aine cocked her head and dropped her eyes from the full moon. _“Would it make a difference if I told you? If I made something up? Perhaps something sweet, happy. Simple. Or something dark and foreboding. Solemn.”_ Reaching for his hand she stroked his palm as though he was still young, sighing as he scowled, _“Probably not mum.”_

_“Just as well, because son, the truth is that I really had no idea what was going to happen. I expected change, an end of an old way and beginning of something new. I believe that what that is, will be up to you and Hunith. When you know, go back in to her, and make it new.”_

_“I fucking hate omens Mother, and when there are_ signs _I only want to run. Remember that bloody questing beast the night Igraine died?”_

Darkness clouded Aine’s eyes _“How could I forget. Or the eclipse heralding the Slaughter of our Kin.”_

Balinor snorted _, “And the Seers Mother?”_ He couldn’t quite keep the accusation from his voice.

Aine closed her eyes futilely against the memories. _“If I was a true Seer, as some of the families were, I doubt I’d still be breathing.”_

Balinor looked at her sceptically. _“Then what would you call it?”_

 _“Not enough to risk acting to change things. Glimpsing I suppose. Not enough to drive me to madness, and that only because of our family’s legacy._ Just _enough to help you and Merlin, thank the goddess.”_

 _“How can you trust me to do the right thing, when I can’t trust myself?”_ Aine wished she could ease the fear in his voice. She was a parent too though, and there is always an undercurrent of fear to that, so she answered him instead.

_“Because I know you are a good man, and I know that you love them, and that you are wise enough to make decisions that are not guided by fear. We all make mistakes Bal. You have been given an opportunity to fix it. Don’t waste that.”_

Balinor leaned against the tree. “I won’t. I promise you _that_.”

 

“Good. I never doubted you. Have you decided what you are going to tell him?”

Aine avoided prying on principle. “I have. I just need to speak first to Hunith. _‘I need to make sure she is in agreement, but I don’t think it will take him terribly long to work things out. Best we tell him ourselves than he thinks we lied to him. I honestly don’t know what  emotions would do if unleashed wrongly.’”_

_“Then choose a safe place to do it son. I’m proud of you. Whatever you decide.”_

_“One thing Mother, I need you to check these disk brooches are safe. Ken noticed Merlin’s my son, he gave us these for a working glamour, it would save us the energy of creating and sustaining one, and it’s far too advanced for a child like Merlin to try.”_

_“Huh. They’re not locally made, someone traded for these, the magic is his though, it knows this places. Nothing dark. Dominant protective and some neutral. I can’t see any magic related reason_ not _to.”_

_“You don’t think we should use them?”_

_“I think Merlin is going to need a rock solid, clear identity, that doesn’t change with the weather. I think he deserves that since so much of what would have rooted him, offered stability no longer exists. I...worry… about you, about him, about all of us. The world is changing around us even now. Please- don’t make_ him _change.”_

Balinor pressed his lips tightly together. _“Don’t worry about me, Mum. For Merlin, I appreciate your wisdom and will consider it before compromising him.”_

 _“Then Balinor, don’t strip him of his name again, oh don’t make that face, of course I noticed. Ken was projecting a little, testing Merlin at a guess, and you haven’t mentioned his name aloud, it’s obvious without the distraction of grief that you are concealing him. Remember he’s young. Too young for such games. And don’t ask me not to worry about you, it’s my privilege.”_ Aine gently squeezed his hand before she let it drop and stepped back.

She looked carefully back to the house. “You are going to be ok. Would you appreciate my presence or absence more tonight?”  a wrinkle appeared between his brows as Balinor thought.

“He’d better not have triggered the lad’s panic earlier. Well, her boy thinks that Hunith should have a mother to care for her, though is less sure about the rest, so if you’re interested…”  His smile was bittersweet, remembering that she’d heard nothing of him for years. “I’d be honoured. I’m missing a perfectly good fire though, and you still need to sort out where to put Kara, Devin and the boy.”

Balinor shifted uncomfortably, “I was intending to have them all together with us but without knowing how things will go with Hunith it might be better to have less in the way of observers.”

 

When they slipped back into the central house the pair had a working plan, and a young couple happy to offer the other three a place to sleep, which Kenneth and his wife were happy to agree to. Having expected all to wish to remain together, the woman had brought out all of her spare blankets and furs for visitors, but shrugged off the youngsters offering them back to her, claiming that she was always the best prepared in their village for the unexpected. Like visits from _Bran_ and his strays. Them staying in another home also enabled her to go to her friend without qualms, to offer condolences, and practical support for the girls if Merryn wished to find a place of her own to weep later.

Once she had left, leading Kara, Devin, and their charge towards their shelter, Ken cast a warning look towards the family before heading toward the door, wrapped in a cloak heaving than strictly necessary for the temperature but effectively covering his distinctive markings.

_“Ken, do you need to use the Yew grove, or the spring tonight?”_

He paused at the door, not turning. “ _The spring is special to Merryn. Best not risk it. I’ll keep them away from the grove, may the goddess smile on you tonight.”_

Balinor nodded his his gratitude, _“Thank you, old friend, I believe I may need it.”_

Ken nodded and was gone.

 

Balinor sat with his family, looking into the flames, fighting down the instinct to play with the fire. It was hard to see a hearth as a danger when one had grown accustomed to dragonfire that could melt stone. Next to him Hunith was stroking Merlin’s hair as he curled in her lap. “Tired?” He asked, feeling suddenly awkward.”

“He’s exhausted. I’m amazed he lasted so long, even with the rest you gave him earlier. That’s not what’s on your mind love. We need to talk about what we’ve both been avoiding, even your mother agrees or she wouldn’t have made herself available.”

Hunith looked towards Aine, who acknowledged the point, “Well I did think it best that you have the opportunity to speak alone, and it is important that the little one doesn’t wake up alone in strange surroundings. It might be easier to concentrate if you aren’t listening out for him stirring, whether you are in here or out.”

Hunith grimaced. She didn’t want to leave Merlin, but Aine wasn’t wrong. “You used to go walking at night with me. Perhaps if we stay close?” Hunith faltered and Balinor placed a hand gently on her cheek, “Come with me tonight. I promise not to keep you out late. We won’t be far from him.”

Biting her lip the way Merlin did, she muttered her acquiescence.

“Aine, if I just slip him into bed, can you stay with him? There is plenty of space, but the bad dreams sometimes get harder on nights like this. With the changes and all.” Aine’s eyes had sought Balinor’s instantly, the horror Hunith had missed dissolving only when she processed the reason given.

Suppressing the inward jubilant cheer when Merlin obligingly did not wake up, decanted into the furs, settling as soon as he felt the warmth of his grandmother’s form next to him, Hunith tiptoed  nonetheless to the door, trying not to disturb the floor reeds.

Wrapped warmly she slipped her hand into his as he led her silently out of the village, he was more than glad to avoid having an audience for this conversation. When the reached the sacred grove he let go and turned to her. “Since it disturbed you the other night, you should be aware that this place is witnessed by the goddess, and if you wish to keep our conversation private it would be best to have it in the way of my mother’s people. Tonight is… important. To both of us, Hunith, and to our loved ones. I will be completely honest with you, if you will do the same.”

Hunith allowed a single tear to escape, her heart too full. “Well then, what are you waiting for?”

Taking the offered invitation, Balinor stepped into her space, cradling her face in his hands and kissing her deeply, stopping only when the need to breathe overcame them. Resting his forehead against hers he  let himself soak in her presence and stepped into her mind properly.

_“You’re different Bal. There’s a sort of...wall.  Is something wrong?”_

_“No love, just a barrier between us and Merlin. He’s sleeping. No nightmares, remember? Though I will need to rest later and haven’t tested it then. I have my own nightmares, and I definitely don’t want him exposed to those horrors.”_ He didn’t shield her from his emotions then, if they were to have a chance of making a true family, he couldn’t hide something so significant _. “I want to tell him Hunith. He suspects you and I already, and thinks you should have a mother, which I happen to know my own would feel is a privilege, despite how your blood mother was, even before sending you to Gaius, Merlin has_ you _as an example, mothers are in his mind the best family someone can have. If you have objections she will never push. I hope that you might be willing to consider becoming more than my betrothed, love._

 _I thought at first we should wait, but all of this… Hunith, tomorrow is promised to no man. I would be a fool not to ask, you are the strongest, most amazing, loving woman I have ever met, and though there are many obstacles in our way, I can’t think of facing them with anyone but you. I had given up on everything, lost all hope, and then there was you, you are the light in the darkness, the guiding star when I cannot find home. I want to be able to stand beside you without inviting cruel words and rejection, to be able to hold you openly, to be your home. Marry me Hunith, properly. Once I would have offered you everything, brought you before a high priestess bedecked in jewels, gold, and a dress of the finest linen, taken you from the holy Isle astride a dragon. Now all I can offer you is myself. My heart and soul. My protection for what little it’s worth, and every day I have on this earth to make right the mistakes I have made.”_ Openly crying now Hunith threw her arms around his neck, letting him wrap his around her slim waist. _“Yes. I will marry you Balinor. In rags, or in riches, I will accept your offer, if you will do the same. No dowry, no home, no wealth, but everything I am. You have to be sure though Bal. I’m not just the simple peasant girl you once fell in love with.”_

Balinor tilted her head upwards, stroking a thumb over her bottom lip. _“No. Now you are so much_ more _. You are a mother, and I fully understand that Merlin comes first. I am so proud of you, my beautiful warrior woman. You protected him even without your own magic, without sword skills- though knights would be jealous of your aim with a throwing knife! How could I ever fail to accept such a person. You are far too intelligent to suppose a dowry or home matters to me, love. You have kept my_ son _safe, knowing he has magic, that it could cost your own life, do you know how rare that choice is? A son I never even knew existed! The goddess may not often smile on me, but I rather think she likes_ you _. I came so close to losing you forever. If anything had been different  we could have never been brought together again. I usually fight the idea of Fate, or Destiny, but this one time, I can’t. If I have a destiny Hunith, you are it. You are my destiny, and Merlin my Fate, and for once I wouldn’t fight it even if I could, because you are both blessings that I don’t deserve. I once had rings, legacies, but they lie hidden. Too powerful, too dangerous to carry around where they could fall into the wrong hands. I fear I stand empty handed before you tonight.”_

Feeling a sense of peace spread through her Hunith stretched up to kiss him gently. “Yes, I will have you, as long as She gives, you are mine.”

Behind her an excited young dryad squeaked, a slight breeze disguising the sudden gossip between the guardians of the sacred grove from the human and dragonlord. The young one’s neighbour was slightly older and frowned at the man’s empty hands. She could feel his power, but he gave no gift to the woman, as was customary. Frowning she wondered if it was possible there was nothing to give, she felt no objects of power, nudging her other neighbour he agreed. Well that just wouldn’t do, she couldn’t allow a man of influence to go around neglecting such customs as jewellery to a newlywed wife.

Quickly she twisted something together, whispering over it, accepting the offering from the bearded dryad next to her, and stepped forward, into the clearing.

“My Lord, and My Lady,” She dipped her head to the mother of Emrys. “The Dryads of Albion would gift you these rings, the Old Religion recognises the mating of the Last Dragonlord. The wood will live as long as you do, it will be a sign to you both when you have no other.”

She placed them in Balinor’s hands, her gaze piercing. _“Look after Him, we will be watching.”_

“Thank you my Lady for the kindness you have shown us.” He bowed to the woman before him, pleased that Hunith beside him had neither startled nor lashed out, only watched calmly and intensely. “They are beautiful My Lady.”

“My people would offer far better. You must forgive me, but I was not ready for such an encounter, they are hurried work, my brother gave a drop of his own blood for the Dragonlord’s ring, and there is a strand of my own hair woven through yours. Only amber and jade to the untrained eye, but far less common, and very rarely given as gifts. They can do no harm Lady Hunith, nor react to any couple but you.”  She looked to the heavens and smiled brightly.

“There is much for you to say to your sapling- no, offspring?- bring him here, to the grove, when the moon is high, and we will have it ready for the Last dragonlord and his mate to tie their knot in truth. Do not be late. The triple goddess is waiting.”

Balinor nodded slowly. “We will return on one condition.”

“Oh, you know would attempt to _bargain_ with She?” The dryad made no attempt to hide her amusement. “No. With you, and the spirits of this land. We will return and do this with you, the wild spirits of Albion as witness, as long as there are no priests or priestesses present, the High priestess must not hear of our union.”

The dryad nodded slowly, the voice that sounded like the wind answering him as her eyes glazed over, “The High priestess has lost her way, she leads her acolytes astray, the time will come but not this day, when she will fall and Magic stay.” Her eyes clearing she smiled brightly, “We will be your witnesses, none shall speak of it to the dark ones. There can be none present tonight. Bring the heir, and one who will speak the blessing over you.” She faded away, leaving two decidedly unsettled young lovers alone. _“They couldn’t let us have a few minutes undisturbed.”_ Hunith smiled weakly.

“ _So will you allow me to tell Merlin? Who he is and what he is to me?”_

 _“I don’t think we have a choice. We could marry, and raise him as though you are adoptive, but..”_ She sighed _, “He is far too much like you. He has always been so alone, I thought it was only the magic, but it’s more than that, isn’t it, much more. I forgive you for what you did not tell me, forgive_ me _for not understanding your words. Tell him with me, and we’ll begin this next chapter together. You, me, and Merlin, like it always should have been.”_

Balinor smiled widely, and brought her hand up to brush a light kiss to the back of her fingers.

 _“Don’t mourn for what we can’t have love, not tonight. Tonight we live in the present and look to the future. Whatever it brings we can face. Let’s go ready our son, and my mother. She may be no priestess, but she’s seen more marriages, births, and deaths than anyone else I know. Speaking a blessing is her place.”_ He could ask about her lack of reaction to nature spirits later.

 

Hunith walked in step with Balinor from the grove, one arm around his waist, his arm draped around her shoulder, both feeling lighter than they had for a long, long time.

 


	11. Chapter 11

_“You know, I thought when Merlin would talk to the trees, or the water, he was just lonely, or when he told me he’d met someone he was imagining things- he imagines so many things already! Some of them must have been real. There were one or two occasions before he was fully awake, or when he was sleepy that he mentioned tree people. I guess I just met one of them?”_

Balinor smiled, careful not to unbalance her _, “You did indeed. They were once common but have now become rare, it is very unusual for them to approach people openly, though if they were going to it would absolutely be on the night of a full moon in a sacred grove.”_

 _“Did you know?_ ” Hunith asked curiously.

 _“No love. I’m a creature of the Old religion, yes, but there is a great deal I do not understand about it. The dryads, naiads, vilia, the fay? Most are as old or long lived as dragons. Some are immortal. Their secrets could fill libraries. I never had a particular desire to delve further than my own history. My mother knows more. I avoided many things the Elder Lords wished me to learn, feeling so clever then, now that knowledge is lost and I would give much to have the opportunity again. Spirits, especially nature spirits answer only to the gods. I didn’t expect_ that _, but for whatever reason we have been honoured. Breaking a promise to them would be… unwise.”_

_“Indeed it would. Though I do wish I’d a cleaner dress for the occasion, especially with such esteemed guests.”_

Balinor tightened his fingers on her shoulder. _“None of them matter love, the only ones of consequence are those we’ll bring with us.. Forget the dress. Riches or rags you said. You couldn’t be more beautiful to me if you draped in brocades and silk.”_

Hunith chuckled. _“See, under all your stubborn prickliness lies a romantic soul.”_

Balinor choked. “ _Hush love, I won’t give you away.”_

In that moment, he reflected, he wouldn’t have cared if she did.

“ _Will I be marked Balinor, like they did to you?”_

_“No. You are not of my blood. You can choose as you wish, but for now at least one of us should be able to pass unnoticed.”_

_“Will Merlin?”_

Balinor caught her eyes and nodded slowly, _“One day, yes. It is_ helpful _to us, functional more than decorative. Though some may choose such symbols if the wish. It is occasionally misunderstood.”_

 _“Ok._ You _will tell him that when it is time.”_

_“Of course love.”_

_“Do I need to expect magical creatures dropping in unannounced?”_

Balinor grimaced _, “I honestly don’t know. It hasn’t happened to me for several years, but apparently our son is friendlier than he ought to be with them. It’s entirely possible he might invite one home for tea.”_

_“You’re right you know, he would. I don’t suppose you know what a dryad would eat or drink?”_

He snorted _, “”Not a clue love.”_

 _“Will Merlin have any choices Balinor? So much is already set it seems.”_ The worry was one he shared, but now wasn’t the time to encourage the fear of something _he_ knew to be inescapable,

Balinor answered her carefully _, “In some ways that’s true. Merlin...cannot change_ what _he is. He will always be of magic, he will always be a dragonlord. Choices though… he will have so many choices. They will decide, with ours,_ who _he becomes. You are a human, Hunith, you can be nothing else, but you are_ Hunith _, and that is someone magnificent. We are not defined by our abilities love, Merlin will not be either.  What we choose to use them for, how we treat others, what we seek… these shape us. I don’t know how much mother has told you, but she could have been many things. She could not change what she was born, but she chose her own path. It wasn’t one anyone had planned for her either. She is a druidess now, honoured and recognised for her actions and wisdom, but could have chosen to seek power as a princess or queen, she could have chosen to pursue wealth as a court lady, but she sought freedom and love, and it has brought us all to here. She learned at the feet of a Dragonlord, the knee of a Lady in waiting, studied in libraries with masters, and in the silence with healers. Merlin has you to guide him, and he has me to catch him when he falls. The idea of Destiny is overwhelming, Hunith. It can seem crushing, and it can also keep a man going when there is nothing else to hold onto. Most people are born without one that changes the world. A few of us_ are _. Merlin is one of those who events can pivot around. It changes nothing of_ who _he is. You have given him what he needs most, more than anything in this whole world, you have given him unconditional love, accepted him, drawn him towards you, rather than rejected him. He is gentle and caring because he saw it first in you, he tries to heal the hurts of the world, and fights only to protect those he loves. I couldn’t be prouder of either of you. There is always a choice Hunith. Always. Let me choose you and him tonight.”_

 

Aine held Merlin gently, as he burrowed deeper into her side, enjoying the luxury of warmth under thick blankets. She hoped that his parents would be able to untangle themselves tonight.

They hadn’t been gone nearly as long as she had expected them to be when the pair ducked in the door, almost glowing, the difference drawing her attention sharply to them.

“You’re back early.” She murmured, keeping her voice low so as not to disturb Merlin.

“Well, actually… We ran into some unexpected _benefactors._ Hunith and I - well, we came to an _agreement_ about some of the more significant things between us.. Um.. The thing is mother…”

Hunith rolled her eyes and took over explaining, “We need you and Merlin to accompany us to the sacred grove. Balinor asked me as I am now to marry him and I accepted. When now is all we have I won't waste what I am given. The dryads request we return before the moon is high, with someone to bind us. We want you to speak the words. Apparently if we are late the goddess will be vexed.”

Aine’s smile lit up her whole face, “Well then, we haven't much time, have we lass! It would be my privilege and my great joy to join you and my son. We'll see you a family again by moonset. I know you don't have your signet ring with you Balinor what are you going to give your woman? I raised you better than to give no her sign.”

“Ah- that's been taken care of. Those um- those dryads we mentioned seem to agree with you on that point. They remedied it, and I _really_ don’t want to offend them.”

“No, nor would I. We will need a length of cloth, and I want both of you to wash, _without_ dithering or distracting one another, and I shall bring Merlin when you call us, now hurry up, both of you! It isn’t every night you get married under the full moon.”

Unwilling to argue Hunith grabbed the woman in a hug, whispering “ _Thank you_ ”

“ _I meant it. It is a delight to be able to do this for you both. Enjoy tonight.”_

The young woman grinned, “I certainly intend to.”

Aine nodded to their pack, “The special soap is in there, Bal, you remember where to find it.”

“I do mother. Thank you.”

As the couple left with the small bag in Balinor’s hand, Aine turned to wake Merlin gently, skirting around the edges of his sleeping mind and whispering, drawing him to wakefulness.

“Hello, that’s it lovely, you and I need to get up now.” He opened his eyes and blearily looked around. “Where did Mum go? They were here.” He thought maybe he could find them if he _looked,_ especially following the mind the kept him from drowning, but before he could try Aine interrupted him.

“Something special is happening and we’ve been invited to it, only us though. It’s a very special secret. Your Mum and Balinor are already there, just waiting for us. We’re going to wash your hands and face, and go up to a quiet place. Maybe you know some places that still feel _magic_ , or especially calm. Ken left a cloak for you to wear in the cold, but he isn’t going to the special place with us. We’ll practice your sneaking. Come on now sleepy boy.”

Merlin was too tired to argue, besides, it wasn’t every day you got to go for a trip in the middle of the night, so he stood, tripping over the furs, and Aine caught him, swinging him into her arms for a cuddle first. Freezing, Merlin looked at Aine with his eyes suddenly wide, “Is it..is it a good surprise?” Merlin’s last one had not been, and he felt a creeping nervousness. Aine smiled gently, tucking his hair behind his ear. “Oh yes. It will be different, but I think it will be a very good thing, and both Mum and Balinor very much want you to be there with them. Let’s make sure you are. Come on now, Ken left a cloth on the shelf there, we can use it to clean you up, and then get properly dressed, and today mister you are combing your hair. Quickly now.”

Catching her happiness and excitement Merlin scrambled down to do as he was told.

A few minutes later he was ready to leave, standing at the door, fidgeting impatiently.

Aine had always thought that if this day ever came it would be either a lavish affair, or small, done in a community spirit. Certainly she had expected another to be officiant, not that it would be any less legitimate, but a witness was always useful. By many tribes laws the couple were already wed. If creatures of the old religion had decided to make a fuss of another of their kin in the absence of his brothers though, so be it. Hunith had _certainly_ earned it. The holy groves were hardly open to the masses, even for what was now a first degree union.

As they crept, hand in hand, through the village shrouded in darkness she was impressed by Merlin’s improved co-ordination and awareness, even in his sleep disturbed state.

“ _Are we close?”_

Aine squeezed his hand, _“Very.”_

Upon entering the grove and crossing the natural wards Aine was robbed of her breath.

Whatever she had prepared for it was not this. There unquestionably were no interfering _humans_ who posed a danger, but empty it was not! The grove was lit up stunningly with the moonlight reflecting and caught by the water spirits in the mist and night dew, refracting light appearing as a carpet of tiny crystals, the trees were singing she thought, before realising it was not them, but the dryads.  Low sacred songs, so old the language was long lost, but the meaning still clear, tears sprung to her eyes as they settled on her son and his bride, standing in wait for her and Merlin. Apparently one of the dryads had a talent for aesthetics as Hunith was no longer clad only in her peasants plain, woollen dress, but in a layered gown of leaves that sparkled with every movement, wildflowers woven into her hair, feet bare as she stood on the the hallowed ground.

Next to her Balinor was a contrast in his simplicity, also barefoot, he stood as his ancestors had done, before the Lord in his title meant the confines of courts. His torso bare, despite the chill of night air, the identifying marks of his House and line were proudly displayed, the sign of a Dragonlord that flared against his skin like the flame of dragonfire, his hair tied back with a leather thong as they all did for clear vision in flight, his low slung breeches were as dark as any shadow. Aine smiled, she had enough experience of trying to persuade her son to dress up or for any formality to know how stubbornly he’d resist. Really it was amazing that they’d convinced him to draw the additional traditional symbols on his skin. The gasp from her side had her crouching down to reassure her grandson, but one look at his face eased her concern, really, thought Aine, he belonged here far more than he belonged away from it, Merlin reached out to touch the nearest vilia and it wrapped around his arm, another slipping around his other, without any prompting, the child struggled out of his boots, Aine wincing at the thought of removing so many skelfs from his feet, and realised that the grass was weaving itself around him to protect them. Instead of showing fear, Merlin giggled, “ _It tickles_!” Even his thoughts were giggly she found, ignoring the way that nature itself appeared to be acting to protect the child.

“Of course, sweetie. Where shall we stand?”

“The white lady says over there.” Merlin pointed to the spot a priestess would usually occupy. Not wishing to taint the memory for him Aine carefully didn’t comment on the fact there was no _white woman_ there, simply following his instruction, “Alright, good idea.”

Standing in front of his parents, Merlin looked carefully at both, elation visible as he looked over the vision that was his mother, concentration visible as he focused on Balinor. Face clearing he stepped back nodding once, and began removing his tunic, as soon as it hit the ground one of the male dryads swayed forwards, kneeling before the child as if he would notice, rumbling his approval and surprise when the boy threw his arms around the creature speaking a mental _“Thank you”_ to them all. The tree spirit had noticed the boy looking wistfully at his mother’s flower bedecked hair. He wasn’t about to do the same as his sister had, but instead a wreath of leaves from the sacred trees sprung from his hand as he place the crown on the head of the future king of the druids, feeling not a little smug to have been the first, and feeling his sister’s sense of outrage _“Oh relax, it’s not as though I_ told _Emrys. It’s not exactly every day you meet Him is it?”_

 _“Exactly”,_ a sugared voice responded _, “You’re actions please me, I will forgive your presumption child.”_ Silence spread through the grove as Arianrhod spoke, their four visitors not hearing, though the youngest of all clearly sensing her presence as he turned and bowed low to her, his bright smile making even her heart swell, and she smiled back, speaking to him _“It is time. Stand proud little one.”_

Wondering at the beauty around him Merlin made himself turn away from the princess, not really understanding why the others weren’t staring at the princess too. Maybe the princess wouldn’t mind too much since Balinor was looking at Mum as the she was one too, Merlin thought she probably could be like this if the night didn’t have one already.

Then Balinor turned towards Merlin, resting a large hand on his thin shoulder, a look of surprise and pride as he finally saw Merlin, and came down to be eye- level with him. _“Merlin, there is something that I need to tell you, and something I want to ask you. You wanted to know where your magic came from when your mother has none, and do you remember what I told you?”_

Merlin nodded, feeling as though the world around him had frozen again. Arianrhod smiled slightly, allowing him to hold this moment still inside the grove, Emrys would have need of such precious memories whichever road his destiny led him by.

_“Your magic recognises mine, doesn’t it? Merlin, it does that because you get some of your magic from me, because I am a part of you. Your magic is all your own Merlin, but remember I told you a part of it came from your father, when you asked, it came from me.”_

Balinor could feel the panic, joy, rage, need, warring within his son, and prepared a shield as he felt it was about to overflow there was a serenity that couldn’t be from the child alone, and he saw, nosing at Merlin’s left hand a she-wolf, and as an owl come to rest to his right. Merlin did not see an owl, but the white princess. _“He could not stay before, he did not know of you. We Saw, and we brought him back for you, he loves like you loves, and he feels like you feel, and will always protect you, son of Earth and Sky, you are the son of his blood and spirit. Let him help.”_

 _“I don’t know how! No one can help, no one!”_ Merlin sobbed to the Lady.

 _“You don’t have to, child. My brothers would have it that I not interfere, but you are mistaken, we will not return, not for many cycles, for they would find you, but Frigg and Arianrhod conceal you that you may be helped child. We are so old now that some forget what it is like to be so small. We leave you with those that will help, if you let them. Your father waits for for you child. You need not yet be Emrys, let go and return to them.”_ The princess kissed his forehead and things started to move again, but this time his fear was gone, maybe she had taken it with her this time, thought Merlin, as he realised that Bal- no, that his _father_ was searching him, his concern easy to feel now. The tears still wet his cheeks, and yet his mind did not reflect the turmoil.

_“You are not a monster.”_

Balinor was unsure of the significance of Merlin’s declaration and agreed warily. _“No, I’m not.”_

 _“Then… then I am not a monster?”_ Balinor pulled the boy into a tight hold, _“No son, no, you are not, and you never will be.”_ Unlike some, the Dragonlord did not say ‘couldn’t’, because he knew just how shaky that line between man and monster truly was, that it was _entirely possible_ , and relied on individual strength of will for people like them. Merlin would sense the lie, and Balinor needed to keep his son’s trust. Aine felt prickling in the corner of her eyes just watching.

 _“I have asked your mother to tie the knot with me tonight, in this special place, and I want you to stand up with us. Hunith has no father or brother near to give her away, you are our family and have been with her while I couldn’t be, will you do this?”_ Balinor released Merlin, and saw him draw all his courage. _“You’re my family?”_

It was a strange thought, having someone more than Mum, _‘If you let them’_ The moon princess had said, maybe he had to let them help now, Merlin’s eyes strayed to his mother, and realised that none of it was ever really a question. He’d never seen her look so happy, and like she wasn’t worrying, really he didn’t know how more people didn’t see, but Balinor did, and _she let him,_ thought Merlin. If Mum wanted to be married, and he would keep her safe, that was ok. Merlin wanted her not to be sad again, he already knew that men didn’t marry women who had bastards, even bastards who were _not_ monsters. He wasn’t sure he believed Balinor about that, but if Balinor had the same kind of magic, if he _was_ a monster, he might not mind having one as a son too.

Merlin knew he was the reason mum had been alone. Perhaps he could help her to not be anymore and give her a friend, like other grown ups had. Fighting the urge to chew his thumbnail, Merlin didn’t say anything, instead he took his father’s hand and began pulling him back towards his mother, to the place where the moonlight was brightest. It was as though the glow from Balinor grew to encircle Hunith, and Merlin _understood. “You should be together. There were.. Missing pieces...holes. Now, with you, Mum has no holes. You were lost, had wandered off. You forgot your home was not a place, so They made you find it. We are supposed to be Home.”_ Merlin looked sadly to him and shook his head. “ _I can’t give you mum. Can’t give her when she is a part of you.”_

Aine smiled and brushed a tear away, and Hunith looked at him tenderly, _“Well then Merlin, will you stand witness for me?”_ She stroked his cheek as he looked up at her.

 _“Will you keep me too?”_ There was a wobble in his tone, not due only to youth.

 _“Oh Merlin, of course! That’s not how love works, it increases, never_ ever _think I could stop loving you. We are_ adding _Balinor to our family, in his_ own _place, yours is the same as always. Right next to me, my precious son. Together. I had planned to welcome you to the world_ with _Balinor, but he was a little late getting home. So I have been blessed with you in a different order. That’s all.”_

Merlin bit his lip before speaking to all of them _“I’ll do it.”_ He fidgeted _, “How do I do it? What’s a witness?”,_ he asked.

Aine took his hand and drew him to herself,

 _“Just watch, and listen. Normally,_ I should call upon the triple goddess, or Lugh, or Branwen here, but tonight I rather think that whoever is needed is already in attendance, and _we_ are the ones called.” She grinned as she glanced around the _clearing,_

“Step into the circle together, Balinor, Dragonlord of Albion, and Hunith, Mother of Merlin.”

Her mind whispering _‘Emrys, Magic,_ **_Hope_ ** _.’ as his True name should be used in a druid rite. The living roots rose from the ground, weaving a perfect circle around them._

 **_“_ ** Who is it brings this fair maid to be wed this day?” Aine winked at Merlin and he startled, unsure what she expected. _“Just say ‘I do”_ Whispered a gnarled looking dryad to him.

“I DO!” came Merlin’s reply.

“Then let it be done.” answered Aine smoothly, smothering her amusement.

 _“_ Let each person gathered here now call into this sacred rite, in this consecrated place, the powers that we know to be sources of love and inspiration.  
Let us take a moment to attune to this Presence that we may bring ourselves fully to the importance of this time and place. Hunith and Balinor, do you come to this place of your own free will?”

“I do.” They chorused, after all, where was one to draw the line between free will and destiny, where did they cross over, if not at Love?

Aine nodded, satisfied. Really it was only show, neither had anyone else left to force them, or to protest the match.

“Let us honour the four directions of our world, that their blessings may be brought to this couple”.

More familiar with the practice, Balinor guided Hunith through the quarters, allowing his mother’s rich voice to soothe any disquiet in him.

“Spirits of the east, spirits of air, let us feel your breath!

Through times of uncertainty, through winds of change, will you still love and honour each other?”

Neither could look away, eyes locked onto each other, “I will.”

“Then may you be blessed by the powers of the east! May together you find the freedom of flight in the clear mountain air, may your marriage be reborn with each new dawn.”

“Spirits of the south, spirits of fire, let us feel your power!” Declared Aine,

“Through the flames of passion, and when the fires burn low, will you still love and honour each other?”

“I will,” came the response. Balinor tried to tamp down his own spirit of fire as it roared through him, as though called to life.

“Then may you be blessed by the powers of the south. May together you dance the road of courage and vitality. May your home be filled with warmth.

Spirits of the west, spirits of water, let us feel your flowing energy!  
Through the white water currents and deep still pools of emotion, will you still love and honour each other?”

They had already been tested, and overcome such trials. Hunith and Balinor grinned at one another “We will.”

“Then may you be blessed by the powers of the west. May together you weave and blend your desires, flowing with the beauty of the ocean tides. May your life together be filled with love.”

“Spirits of the north, spirits of earth, let us feel your certainty!” Inwardly Aine rolled her eyes at just how literally the earth spirits had shown it.

“Through times of cold restriction, when problems seem immovable, will you still love and honour each other?”

Balinor stroked a thumb over her cheekbone, “Always” he murmured, Hunith’s eyes misted over, “I will. Too late to stop now.” she said, smiling wryly at him.

“Then may you be blessed by the powers of the earth. May together you root in sweet fertile soil, that your union may grow strong. May your lives together be rich with that fertility and its perfect fruitfulness.”

Bathed in the glow of moonlight, they held out their hands, as Aine bound them together with a length of cloth, and cord offered up by one of the dryads. Looking for the third she would usually have ready she was stunned when her young grandson whispered “ _Here,”_ and offered a bright gold ribbon of pure magic to be the final cord, she could think of anything more true of their binding in the moment. “ _It’s perfect, Little one.”_  Merlin stood proudly next to her, unaware that he mimicked what the high priest would usually have been doing for a Dragonlord union.  
“At sacred times and places, our ancestors clasped hands when they would wed, and such handfastings witnessed by the gods and the community were lawful, true and binding, as love binds one heart to another.

“Hunith and Balinor, you wish to make vows that will bind you together, soul to soul, heart to heart, joining the bloodlines of your ancestors and those of your descendants, witnessed by those who have gathered here this day, in spirit and in body, in this sacred Circle?”

Fingers laced together, the night air completely still, the young couple shivered. Balinor’s rough voice complementing Hunith’s smooth “I do.”

“Then so do.”

The Dragonlord remembered his bride’s request not to be gossip fodder and was aware of their audience so kept his words intentionally simple and short.

“Hunith, my Lady, I love you more every day.  
You are Blood of my Blood, and Bone of my Bone.  
I give you my Body, that we Two might be One.

_I give you my Spirit, 'til our Life shall be Done.”_

 

Aine smiled gently, knowing that he had been here and shared his heart earlier, and turned her attention to the bride,

“Hunith, do you consent to become the wife of this man?”

Her face lit up as she too thought of their earlier words and chanted her own vows in return:

 

“You cannot possess me for I belong to myself

But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give

You cannot command me, for I am a free person

But I shall serve you in those ways you require

and the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand.”

Aine held a hand over each of them, nodding her approval.

 

“All things in nature are circular. Night becomes day, day leads into night which again gives way to day. Moon waxes and wanes, and waxes again. There is Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter, then Spring returns again. These are the flowing rhythms of the Cycle of Existence. Yet in the Centre of the Circle is the stillness of the Source, eternal and brilliant.  
Hunith and Balinor, do you bring with you this day your symbols of these mysteries of life?”

Balinor held out the rings Albion had presented him. “Mother?”

Aine tutted, “Go on then man, it’s been a long enough time coming.”

He slid the living ring onto Hunith’s finger, revelling in the joy that rolled off her in waves, and pressed the other one into her palm, waiting only long enough for  her to slide it onto his own hand before pulling her against him for a deep kiss that only his mother’s presence kept from getting away from him.  
He could see her amusement in the sparkle of her eyes when they finally broke apart.

Merlin watched curiously as the old woman grinned beautifically, overwhelmed by seeing her family finally whole again. Well, as whole as they could be with so few remaining; tonight it was enough. It was more than she had dared to hope for. Beside her Merlin was beginning to yawn, fighting valiantly to remain awake and focused until he could go back to sleep, and she rather thought his parents might appreciate a few hours alone to celebrate and connect. _“Just the blessing to go dear, and then we must leave this sacred place, even the triple goddess knows that little boys need rest.”_ Swaying a little on his feet he smiled sweetly back and snuggled into her side.

 

_“As you go from here and step over the boundary together, the next part of your journey begins, together, so in this life Balinor and Hunith;_

 

_May the earth welcome your footsteps,_

_May the wind sing your tale,_

_May fire dance from your fingertips,_

_May the ocean speed your tail._

_May your courage never fail you,_

_May your words be blessed with grace;_

_May the spirit of inspiration light your way._

_May you be a friend to your destiny_

_May you always know your name._

_May you learn to dance with lightning When life brings storm and rain._

_May you never be far from family Whether kin by blood or heart;_

_May you never feel completely set apart._

_May you walk through life like a balance beam And never stumble and fall._

_May you walk through a hundred angry glares_

_And may it not matter at all._

_May you never cease to teach_

_And never cease to learn;_

_May the spark of hope inside you always burn._

_Listen to the wind….for it talks._

_Listen to the silence….for it speaks._

_Listen with your heart….. And you will learn and understand.”_

 

Stepping back from them, Aine swept her grandson into her arms, blinking back tears, “Come on dear, back to bed for you just as soon as you put your clothes back on, or you’ll freeze! Best say goodbye to your friends too, I don’t think we’ll be back this way.”

Merlin frowned. “The moon lady isn’t coming back for cycles, and the visitor isn’t allowed. The tree people are nice, but they have to guard them, so can’t go very far from their roots. Maybe Mum would let me have an owl? She said no wolves, but I never asked about owls. Does Bal- does my father like owls?”

Setting aside any unsettling moon ladies, Aine picked up the cloak and wrapped it tightly around him, after he struggled gracelessly into his tunic, “He likes owls Merlin, you can ask another day, and they will be very happy to talk to you about non-lupine pets, but after two people get married, they like some time alone together.”

A look of horror dawned on Merlin’s face. “For kissing. Eww, is mum gonna be kissing him lots now? Do I have to see?”

“Well I suppose you could hide, but yes, I think you might have to get used to them kissing.”

“The gross way?”

Aine chuckled, “Yes Merlin, the gross way.”

And if neither Balinor nor Hunith were in their designated sleeping places before the pre-dawn light appeared, his mother, and their son, both kept their counsel on it, the latter giving them only a disapproving look over breakfast and stating that it was not ok to stay out all night. To which they agreed, and promised not to do so again.

 

Outwardly, the only difference was the presence of their rings, but it took Ken all of one look to spot those, and a wide grin split his face as he joined them, smirking across the table at both, as he noted the too-tidy sleeping furs. Eyeing their young company he cleared his throat and tried, unsuccessfully, to appear innocent, clearly desperate to question the pair but this time managing instead to moderate his enquiries to a gruff “Tea, anybody?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I know very little about authentic Pagan and druidic ceremonies, and much of the information conflicts, thus this is a tweaked version of one form listed, with mix-n-match blessings. If anything is horribly wrong, please tell me for future purposes.


	12. Chapter 12

Aine came to stand next to her son as he watched Merlin play in the early morning light, drawing pictures in the dirt, scuffing them out and starting again. “Morning Mum.”

“Good morning Bran”, she greeted him quietly.

“I’m glad you were there last night. Thank you mum. It was special. Beautiful, as though the world itself came to life. You were _there_ , I don’t know about you, but I’ve never felt anything like it, not even at the binding of other Dragonlords.  Tell me mother, was last night for us? Or for someone else?” His eyes never left his son, drinking in every moment with him, and still his desire for answers clear.

“Would it change things to know the answer? Bran, before you ask any questions about Merlin, be _sure_ you want to know the answers.” Her serious expression and somber voice did nothing to reassure the father in him.

“You know something Mum, something important.”

Her eyes flickered guiltily to the side, “What I _know_ love, is that half an answer of a possibility is more dangerous than not knowing. If I give you something I have seen and it’s self fulfilling, or if there are missing things that matter? I won’t do that to you or him. Is is not enough to be born to a destiny? Yes, I know a few things, dangerous on their own, please Bal, don’t make me lie to you.”

His lips pressed thin Balinor nodded tightly. “Alright. I won’t ask, for now. Whatever you do, Mum, don’t hurt him.”

“So like your Father, Bal. Never. May I speak to him just now or do you want to watch a little longer, only I think your new wife might appreciate a few minutes with you while he can be supervised.”

Balinor sighed quietly, “Then go to him. Just remember that there are many ways to hurt someone.”

Didn’t she just know it. The most likely outcome by far had been for Balinor to protect Merlin and Hunith by staying away _forever._ She had seen _that_ and only vaguely sensed the other branches of a path. It compounded her view that visions of Merlin should not be shared.

As she stepped towards the child, Balinor turned and retreated to the house where Hunith was blushing at earthy comments from Kenneth’s wife.

 

Aine stooped to actually look at what Merlin was drawing with such focus and almost froze.

“Those are beautiful dear, where did you see them.”   
Merlin looked up and grinned, still on a high from the night’s events. “I made ‘em up. From my ‘magination, see.”

His grandmother hummed, an agreement, the flowing lines were definitely _not_ something that would just arise in someone’s imagination, well, at least if one was not Emrys.

She switched to mental communication and Merlin didn’t miss a beat, _“You were brilliant last night Merlin, I was so proud of you!”_

His grin widened, _“Thanks! It was so pretty.”_

_“Yeah? What did the princess look like, I missed her because I was concentrating on your parents and remembering the words.”_   
_“Like herself. The moon princess, all shining and white, except her hair, it was dark like the sky. She didn’t have flowers in it like mum did.”_ _  
_ “Wow, I wish I had seen that. Does she have a name? The moon princess?”

_“Yes. I don’t think I am meant to tell anyone, Mum wouldn’t like it, like with the tree people. Especially when anyone asks questions.”_ He cocked his head, _“Maybe she’ll come back to tell you if you ask.”_

Aine frowned. _“Ask who, dear?”_

_“The moon, silly.”_

Only years of practice prevented her from allowing her surprise to show at his casual reference, she had no doubt about whom he was speaking.

_“I might do that, but I think she is a very busy Lady, of course weddings_ are _very special occasions. Did you see anyone else I should thank for helping?”_

Merlin shrugged _. “Nope, but I think her friend was there, to help. They were nice, and the water people and tree people were too. The tree man made me a special thing to wear, like mum but less girly”,_ he grimaced at the thought of wearing flowers in his hair _._ Will would still have laughed at the woven leaves, but he felt proud of being given a special gift, and it made him _fit_ , _“Almost like a leaf crown.”_

A bittersweet feeling rose in her chest, _“Exactly like that. It suited you. All brave looking, and very like your father, I wouldn’t have thought to ask you to match him that way.”_

Merlin giggled _, “It was fun, Mum doesn’t like us not wearing proper things most nights, it was_ right _though, I think, Balinor is right, we match. I saw his pic- his tattoo. It was bigger than I thought it would be, and a different colour from the other.”_

_“Yes. That is because his soul is a brother to the dragons, the fire inside shows through. It’s like being part of a family, but some of them are reeeeally big, and you don’t invite them to dinner.”_ _  
_ _“Would they eat us?”_

Aine was startled into laughing _, “Goodness no, they just wouldn’t fit in the house or around a table, and might put humans off their food.”_ _  
_ _“People are strange.”_ Merlin frowned. Why would a dragon visit stop someone eating?

_“Yes they are. Now, do you want to explain these drawings to me, because it_ looks _like a story to me.”_

Merlin nodded sagely _. “Yes. This one is the story of the good wolf”,_ and it was, but Merlin had innocently used runes, not the common tongue, and stylised his wolves to look not like common images, but like sacred ones that should not be displayed openly now. His lost child was protected not only by a she-wolf, but by runes, and his wolf brothers arranged to show balance.

Merlin shouldn’t have known that _, couldn’t have learned it_ . The druidess was now faced with the problem of teaching him appropriate use, while also being careful not to drain something from Merlin’s life that brought him joy. He couldn’t do _this_ in front of anyone but them. She sighed, forgetting that he was listening and saw his smile drop away. “What did I do wrong?”

Shaking her head Aine tucked stray hair behind his ear, “Nothing lad, why do you think that you did something wrong?”

He looked down, “That’s the sigh Mum has when I do something Wrong, Dangerous. It’s the same sigh.”  
Aine closed her eyes, keeping her breathing even, “You haven’t done anything wrong dear, only surprised me, I sigh when I realise I got a part of a plan wrong and have to fix it. Sometimes grown ups sigh when they worry, or that they’ve forgotten something important. Show me the rest, then we are going to check on the grown ups. They are slow today, but they’ve all earned a rest.

 

_“Balinor, get your arse out here now.”_

Slamming up his defences wasn’t fast enough to prevent his embarrassment leaking through, _“Really mum? This is...extremely inconvenient… timing.”_

Grumbling about young love and cringing she responded. _“Fine, finish, don’t dither,_ Then _get your arse out here._ She withdrew and threw up an impenetrable wall knowing he’d sense her giving him absolute privacy. There were some things she absolutely did _not_ want to know about her son’s life.

 

_“When you imagine these things, what does your magic feel, Merlin?”_

He paused and thought for a minute _, “Calm, and buzzing at the same time. Harder to keep inside, but happier too. Why?”_ _  
_ Aine nodded, _“I see. Well that makes sense. Merlin, your magic is harder to keep in like this because some of them are ancient or designed for holding a spell. You have been very strong, and very clever to keep them separate, not many people are so good at controlling what their magic does as to not let it flow. I am very impressed Merlin. Your pictures are very beautiful. Perhaps the next time if you are outside you could do only the animals or people to be safe? If it spoils drawing for you, we’ll just do drawing inside whatever shelter we are in, ok? So that you can keep making the beautiful things. Before you do more of the ‘imagination’ pictures like these ones,”_ She pointed to the runes, _“I think that your father or I need to sit and explain the meanings of them to you, just like mum did with letters, because they are just like that. Then you can use them and know that nothing will accidentally happen you don’t mean to. I trust you Merlin. I trust your magic. So we are going to make sure it gives you fewer surprises you don’t expect. Have you shown these drawings to your mum before?”_

Merlin scuffed his toes against the ground _. “Some. Some of them I’m not allowed to draw anymore, but not these ones.”_

_“Hmm, I’ll ask her to let you show me them once, this is a language that your mum doesn’t know well. Not like old Latin, or Gallic, or even any of the saecson words. Even the cleverest person needs a teacher for something like this. Have you always known these pictures?”_

He shrugged, _“I think so. Sometimes they are in my dreams. Other times I just make them up. It’s fun. You should try it, like drawing a feeling.”_

Aine could feel the joy and the freedom that flowed from him, it was impossible to scold, and the child had no idea what he was doing. _“The marks are called Runes dear. I am glad it’s fun, but I’m not going to try and make new ones in case I accidentally made a dangerous one. I think I might just stick to the animals.”_ She winked at him.

_“If I promise not to draw the rum-_ Runes, _will you join in?”_ He reached down and handed her a stick of her own.

_“Absolutely. We’ll leave them until Balinor has seen, then we’ll return the dust to its place.”_

 

Balinor was still visibly dishevelled, but Aine limited her reaction to a raised eyebrow, she was quite sure that despite the poor timing, Hunith would have greater respect for Balinor if he put their son first when he was called for, literally or otherwise.

He found them kneeling together in the dirt, drawing a new story.

He did _try,_  grunting an acknowledgement to his mother, ignoring her amusement.

_“Well hello to you too. I want you to look at the story with wolves. Apparently this is from his ‘imagination’. I trust you understand why I needed you to see this and cannot let it remain visible long?”_ _  
_ _“You didn’t teach him?”_

_“Don’t be ridiculous, of course I didn’t_ teach _him. I’m not trying to put the child in_ more _danger. Apparently some are from dreams and others_ he just makes up _.”_ Checking Merlin was still absorbed in his drawing, Aine turned to her son and allowed the fear to show through _, “We need to teach him the meaning, before something accidental happens, and forget teaching him any minor spells. Balinor, you need to teach Merlin the principles_ first _, how magic flows and works in the world. Soon. His magic is raw. Pure. Wild. I didn’t escort or defend them_ only _from Uther’s bloodthirst, both sides will have reason to seek the boy, I hadn’t even realised exactly how...rare...a young warlock he was, and we are_ not _going to let them rob him of a childhood, but no one deserves to live in fear of themselves either. If anyone caught it...”_

Balinor frowned, distracted enough not to notice the lie but easily following her train of thought. _“It certainly looks like some language lessons are rather urgently needed. And he has managed to keep these free of actual magic?”_   
_“Apparently so.”_ _  
_ “Interesting. Thanks Mum. He’s got a good hand.”

_“That he does. Unusual given his other difficulties with coordination.”_

_“That’s better though, and improving, unsurprising when he isn’t fighting against his soul.”_

_“True.”_

Apparently satisfied with his latest masterpiece Merlin stood up, rubbing grubby hands on his tunic. “Hello. Missus Aine wants me to show you the pictures that aren’t pictures. She says their ru-they’re something people shouldn’t see, but you’re allowed, and also like letters ‘cause they mean something.” He looked puzzled. “I didn’t know they meant things that weren’t feelings.”

Balinor watched Merlin carefully, and took the little hand that was proffered, smaller than it should be he thought, still thoroughly dirt coated, and horrors lurking beneath his nails.

“She’s right, I’m good at languages, and this is one I learned as a child, they are one of the things that scare people who don’t understand the meaning.”

“Couldn’t we just teach them so it’s not scary?” From the mouths of babes, thought the Dragonlord.

“That’s a good idea, but sometimes people don’t want to learn, or they maybe met someone who used the language who hurt them, and thought everyone who does likes to hurt others.”

Merlin scowled, “But lots of people hurt others, like the red knights, and the raiders, or the men from the inn after bad mead. Not everyone who wears red or has a horse likes to hurt though.” He didn’t sound entirely convinced though.

“Yes Merlin, there are plenty of people who will hurt, for different reasons, from lots of different groups, and it’s never because of one thing they have in common that can be seen. Every group has some people though who protect instead. It’s why we must be careful. Families are supposed to look after each other.”

Merlin chewed on his thumb, unconcerned about dirt, “You are my family now? You married Mum, so that makes you my family?”

Balinor sank down beside the boy and clasped his other hand, “Yes Merlin it does, but there is a bit more than that. _Remember last night, and how your magic matches mine? I was your family before I married your mum, you are my son, your mother and I made you together, and some of your magic is dragonlord magic because I am a dragonlord. That is all a bit complicated, but it’s why you find absorbing knowledge and feelings quite easy. When you’re older there is a secret language you’ll learn, but let’s start with this one. These are wolves, right?”_

_“Yes, these two are brothers, you can’t see but one is light and one dark.”_ He pointed to another _, “This one is visiting from North, like last night, and the owl over there is watching. I haven’t decided why yet. There is the mother wolf. She keeps them safe, so they can play and argue, but not get hurt.”_ _  
_ Balinor grunted acknowledgement of the explanation as he studied it for himself. Gods, what he wouldn’t do for an actual priestess or unbiased elder right now. How the flying fuck was he supposed to explain this to his new wife? Not that he had to today, but there would come a time. When he was sure he’d memorised it, Balinor turned to Merlin and smiled. _“You’re a good artist son, do you draw a lot?”_

He shook his head, _“Not when anyone is watching.”_

_“You did in front of me and Aine today.”_ _  
_ Merlin giggled _, “You don’t count.”_

Balinor tried to look serious, and failed, warmth radiating through his chest. _“I see. Well, I would like to see some when we are not staying in the village, but I can remember the symbols in this one and I’ll explain them later, it’s a lovely drawing, but I need to rub it out now. Would you like to learn some other kinds of art? I never did much drawing, but I can show you how to carve wood if you like.”_

_“Yes please! If… you don’t think I’m bad luck? I’m...they don’t let me stay when they make anything important. I don’t want to spoil your things.”_ The matter of fact way that Merlin stated he was bad luck, _warned_ someone, made Balinor feel sick and furious. Hunith’s capacity for forgiveness was indeed immense.

“Listen to me, you are not bad luck Merlin, ever. You are not cursed, or unnatural, or a bad omen, or misfortune. Sometimes we make mistakes and things are broken or we need a better piece of wood, or bone, or to pay closer attention. That’s never because of anything you have done, alright. If I pick an unsuited bit of wood, that is _my_ choice, and a lesson for the next time. Now, are you ready?”

Merlin sucked in a breath and squeezed his eyes shut, “Ready.”  
Balinor reached out to sweep away the evidence, and the dirt seemed to rearrange itself in a completely different way. Mentally cursing, he tried to move his hand a different direction to compensate, but it made no difference, the mud and dust appeared to have a mind of its own. “As quickly as it had begun it settled, and for all Aine could tell, there had been no disturbance. Balinor was annoyed though “Merlin, that was reckless, it wasn’t needed. What were you doing?” His voice was rough, as it usually was when he was concerned, and Merlin’s confusion obvious, “Missus Aine said to sort the dust the way it was before.”  

His grandmother groaned, “Oh sweetie, I didn’t mean it so precisely. I’ll try to be clearer next time. When we tidy or rub something out we don’t usually mean to return every speck to the exact place it used to be. It’s often better to leave it looking _slightly_ disturbed, unless you are trying to avoid being tracked.” Merlin accepted the response but didn’t answer.

Remaining quiet, as did Balinor, for very different reasons, it was not a simple matter to keep track of where components were before, really it was like a focused rewinding of time. He wondered that his mother appeared to have either not noticed, or be carefully ignoring that, as she stroked his hair.

“Don’t tell mum? Please. I don’t want her to worry on a Special Day.”

Usually Balinor would disagree with hiding something from her, in this case though he had to agree with Merlin’s sentiment. “ _Alright. I won’t tell her about the_ dusting _, if you promise me not to do it again, magic isn’t for tidying your room or rubbing out pictures young man. Just think next time, does it_ need _magic. If you use it for everything, then the muscles on your body won’t get the use they need to stay healthy. Magic and muscles have much in common, and if you exercise each one it will become stronger and more able to do as you want it to. If you want to learn to balance, it needs practice, yes? Or light a fire without lighting anything else. Magic and muscles have a similarity, so it’s important than we don’t neglect one, there are plenty of places now where we can’t be seen using magic, so learning to do things by hand-or foot- is needed.”_

Merlin pushed his hair back out of his eyes, _“I promise. By hand, not magic. Keep the magic secret Mum says.”_

There was an aching sadness in Balinor as he rested a hand on his son’s shoulder. _“Yes Merlin, keep the magic secret, but you will have help, you are not alone. Not anymore.”_

_“Alone is okay. I don't mind being alone. Feeling lonely is not nice though. Mum was lonely lots until you came back. She doesn't notice as many alive things.”_

_“Probably not, and that's alright.”_

Aine noticed an increase of activity and cleared her throat, “Bran, I would like to discuss our plans later, Isildir will be arriving after noon, which is too late for anyone to depart, but I think you would benefit from seeing each other.”

“Understood. I will talk to Hunith, Devin and Kara have not surfaced yet, and I am loathe to disturb them given it’s the first opportunity they’ve had to rest and process things in a safe place. Neither would wish to have any distress witnessed.”

The old woman didn’t disagree but hoped the pair had been able to make an exception with one another. They could heal, if they allowed someone in.  Aine had found that the depths to which someone could sink in fear, hate, or anger, was directly proportional to how much they cared about or loved what was lost in the first place. Hunith had been Balinor’s anchor, the rock that stopped him from drowning in grief and hatred. Her own was sheer strength of will to make sure that the truth was known and to live, as her family had commanded, until Merlin, after that she had begun to live again, rather than merely survive.

Both of the youths had loved deeply before, and that had to go somewhere, either the hole left would fill with darkness and turn them into a shell of their former selves, as Nimue had chosen, or they found someone, something _good_ to fill the emptiness and give the care to.

“I think that you need to seek advice at the place we spoke of Bran, there are still sources of wisdom to be found there.”

“You may be right at that, though I still find them unsettling.”

_“More unsettling than Taliesin? Or crystals? Or mad priestesses? Or you perhaps could seek Avalon and the Seelie court. I hear Queen Mabh will be glad to entertain men like you soon.”_ Aine replied scathingly.

Balinor rolled his eyes, _“Obviously not mother, but I would usually have spoken to- but no, they’re all gone now. You’re right, Gedref is safest.”_

_“Go on, you have much to discuss with your wife, she’s making bread with Riona while Kenneth has gone to check his traps, enjoying doing something normal again. Do you remember how to live this way?”_

_“Mother, I forgot how to_ live _at all. If this is the life she needs I’ll find a way to make it work.”_ _  
_ She reached up to him, laying a hand against his cheek _. “I know you will, and you will find a way to explain Merlin to her. Trust your instincts love, they are in your heart for a reason.”_

 

Merlin watched the exchange patiently, it wasn’t unusual for adults to have conversations that weren’t for ‘waggly ears’, that meant him and Will apparently, which was frustrating because they had tried for days after being told that, and neither could get their ears to move even a little bit. When he had sulkily informed Mum of this she had only laughed. Merlin thought he could probably make them move with magic, but that wouldn’t have been a good reason for it, and he might accidentally vanish them. Then mum would know what he’d been doing and be cross. It wasn’t worth it. She didn’t usually skelp him, not like a lot of parents, but for that she would.

‘Keep the magic secret’ was very important.

Maybe it would be easier if Balinor and Missus Aine let him would teach him to not make mistakes or explode, and mum let him stretch it to balance. Or maybe it was not allowed at all in villages? He should check. They would know. He didn’t want to bother Mum. She was singing, but not one of her sad songs, or even one of the songs that felt unfinished, a calm and happy one. He had a bad feeling that asking about magic-rules would stop the happy-song.

This time the conversation for grown ups was easier not to overhear though, and the heavy blanket over his mind helped to remind him not to reach, and where the edge of _his_ mind was, so he didn’t accidentally wander. When the words weren’t out-loud, it was easier. He understood why they would use that way to talk about things that were ‘private’, or secret. So he waited patiently for them to stop staring at each other and the mental block from his father to soften. Huh. That was a puzzle, “Balinor? Now that you are my family, what am I meant to call you?” Balinor turned on the spot and crouched to be on Merlin’s level. “You call me whatever you want to. The feelings inside you that tell you what is right before you can know or understand why are called instincts. I will answer to whatever you think is the right name. There are lots of different words that mean the same thing, and I will always hear your _meaning._ There is no _wrong_ word.”   
Merlin bit his bottom lip nervously, grasping Aine’s hand, “Not father, you’re not like Will’s was to me. Do I have to decide now?”

Balinor stroked his son’s unruly hair back and bit back his sigh, “No, of course not, and you can try out different ones to see what fits right. There’s no rush at all, I don’t plan on leaving, even if you just use my name forever, because you know what? It’s a gift just to hear your voice.”

Merlin smiled shyly, Mum had always said that feelings were for everyone, but Ealdor had never seemed to agree, it seemed that Balinor did.

“The white princess said something like that.” His voice was quiet, and he didn’t catch the questioning look his father threw towards Aine, who avoided any eye contact, and suddenly found himself far more sympathetic to her ignoring what were in fact significant feats of magic, and seemed to come to Merlin like breathing.

“She sounds like a wise princess then. Was that the first time you met her?”

Merlin shrugged, relaxing now that he was sure there was no rush, important things should be thought through. “It’s the first time she spoke to me, but I was always careful to use manners before, and call her My Lady properly, like Mum says the fancy people do. Have to shush though,” Merlin demonstrated, bringing his finger to his lips, “Never tell if the others pretend to not see someone. Makes them angry, and then mum is sad.”

Balinor forced his body to obey his mind, keeping the functions normal, breathing, colour, control.

“Sometimes there are things only meant for one person to see, not everyone. Sometimes if we are lonely a person might want to remind you of not being alone, or they can give messages. When I speak to you _like this, no one else can hear. Some creatures do the same, only they can make themselves be seen only by certain people. Most of them don’t mean any harm, but maybe if you have visitors again you could tell me or Aine. We will never be angry with you, or sad. Aine sometimes sees things only for her too, in a different way. She will understand.”_

Merlin’s lip trembled, and he bit down on it hard, never with people there. “You really don’t mind?”

“No son, never. I will never be angry with you for someone else’s actions, or for speaking to me. That wouldn’t make much sense would it?”

Merlin shook his head. “No...but not all people do.”

“Well then, when we don’t make sense, just ask.” Balinor stated calmly, as though it was so simple. Unconvinced but willing to try Merlin muttered what sounded like a ‘yes’.

“I still need to talk to Hunith, but I haven’t forgotten about practising with you Merlin, for stopping people getting into your head if you don’t invite them. If we do it in the evening it might work best, because it’s tiring at first, and then no one will notice you being sleepy.”

Merlin perked up at that, not many grown ups were good-interested in him. The moon princess said he would protect Merlin though, and he could trust _her_ , couldn’t he? That was something he couldn’t check with Mum. He’d just have to work it out on his own.

When he looked around the dragonlord had left them and gone inside.

“Well Merlin, you’ve been doing so well not falling over, that I was wondering if you’ve ever played hopscotch? No? It’s very simple, all we need is a stick and a stone. I’ll draw the grid. What do you know about numbers?”  
Aine had his full attention now, he liked games. “I’m a good counter. Mum lets me help count what we gather, but I forget after twenty sometimes.”

“Wonderful. Do you know how to draw them?”

Merlin’s face twisted, “Some, sometimes they go wrong.”

“That’s ok, it’s a part of learning, you can do this,” She winked at him, “You find us the stone, I’ll just draw it out of the way, otherwise the adults will have a much harder time getting in and out of the house.”

Merlin frowned, “Why?”

Aine grinned at him, “Because they are all out of practice in hopping and jumping, and hopscotch is all about hopping and jumping. I haven’t played it in a long time.”

It would keep them out of the way of his parents long enough. It was a matter of minutes to finish showing him how.

“Aine?”

“Yes Merlin?”

“Are you my family too now?” He looked up to her, open.

“Would you like me to be?” She deflected.

Merlin thought for a moment, “Yes. If that doesn’t change you.”

“Well then Merlin, if you will have me, I will be your family.”

They could work out the rest later.

“It’s your turn. Just throw the stone, and you hop where there is one square and jump where there is two. Do you want a demonstration?” Merlin nodded. It was the sort of game he’d always been excluded from, but Aine didn’t tease him, just showed him, and came back to stand next to him, handing him the stone confidently. Not expecting him to do it wrong.

Seeing his conflicted expression she leaned down to whisper, “Nothing is going to break, and if it does, we’ll just fix it. It’s only a game love. You’ve all the time in the world.”

 

Hunith could hear distinctive giggles coming from behind the house shortly after. The dough set aside to rise she found herself taking a turn at the butterchurn.

Balinor came to stand behind her, placing a butterfly kiss to the side of her neck, “We need to talk love, before the others get here. Apparently they are expected not long after noon.”

“How can you know that?”  
He grimaced, “My mother.”

“Ah. Do I want to know?”

Balinor sniggered at her tone, Hunith hadn’t been impressed at their earlier disturbance, though Balinor now had to admit she had done the right thing. “Probably not. I don’t. Though I _can_ guarantee there’s nothing off between her and Isildur. She has rules, strict ones. She is his Elder. It would be....unseemly.”

“She’s still a beautiful woman.”

Balinor dropped his eyes too quickly, and he saw the question in Hunith’s eyes. He sighed. “She’s from an _Old_ family. Daughters aren’t dragonlords, but some of the traits are alike. She can’t behave as something she is not. We mate _for life_ , and hers is gone. It’s a cruel fate, and very few would choose not to pursue vengeance. I believe you and Merlin are the reason she did not at least try to take down Uther. I know my mother. If she resolved to do that, she’d have several fail safes, no accomplices, clean. Nothing messy that needed preparation in the citadel. It was her who taught me strategy, and observing an enemy. There’s a chance that she could find someone else, in theory, an ancient record said it’s possible, but no one I’ve ever known knew of a case.”

“There’s somewhere we need to go love. For advice. Merlin is- well he’s rather special, and I need to speak to someone about which order to do things in. When Mum called me out earlier it was because of something he didn’t realise was happening, and he needs some teaching on the basics of how to prevent it accidentally happening in future and help his awareness.  I want to avoid scaring him, and need some answers from a more experienced teacher. Like when learning a language there are different levels of fluency and elements are added as one advances, magic has governing rules and Merlin- well, he’s bending some of them without realising. You heard her mention a place called Gedref before, and that’s where I want to go. It’s on joining of ley lines, there is a castle that you can’t find by looking, and a man I wish to speak to, Anhora. He is different, he’s not like the kind of priestess or sorcerer you might have met before, he is a Guardian. There are many Worlds, and in each there a Guardians. They help to keep balance, and prevent collapse or contamination. Certain Magical creatures have their own Guardians. Anhora and I are very different, but we hold similar responsibilities, I am considered the Keeper of Dragons, their Guardian. He is the Keeper of the Unicorns. Unlike the dragonlords though the position and ability is not inherited through bloodline but by skill and long training, and the Keepers live a very long time. Anhora has been the Keeper of the unicorns since long before the time of my great grandfather. He is neutral, he cannot hold the position if he is compromised or involves himself in the affairs of little kings. To be a true Guardian of a gateway, or between realms, one must remain apart. There is only One who can walk between worlds freely, they will exist in balance with the world, or so the legend says.

It means that we can be certain of his silence, and his loyalties. If Anhora remains guardian then he has no human allegiance, and his soul is bound to that task. He has access to books that  no longer exist elsewhere which I must consult, and anyone else with access to such knowledge would be eager to rob Merlin of a childhood. You are right, he needs that, I’ve seen too many kids break under unfair pressure, either openly, or self destructively. _We are not_ going to let it happen to him.”

“Really? You think this...this _castle,_ or _Gedref,_ wherever that is, is not putting him under pressure?! Because it doesn’t sound like somewhere he won’t be trapped.”

Balinor gripped her shoulders lightly and looked into her, _“I think it will be less pressure than him accidentally killing someone or stopping time, or not recognising something malevolent, being tricked into tearing a veil. I am_ counting _on him being distracted enough by the unicorns and beach with you that he doesn’t notice me researching the best way to help him survive the chaos and pain. Magically he is ahead of where any child ought to be, but his emotions and instincts are of a child, and without guidance it makes him dangerous to himself, and to others in ways that_ would _break him. Merlin is our son, and he fears himself a monster. He is not, and I do not want him to grow up with that constant fear in the background. So as you teach him your herblore and sewing, I will teach him awareness and about the flow of magic in this world. Please. Let me help.”_

Hunith’s features remained guarded but he could feel the defensiveness leaving her as some of his desperation leaked through in his ‘voice’. _“Let me think about it this afternoon love, I’ll tell you my decision tonight.”_

Balinor relaxed his hands and slumped, accepting the half-answer, he finally had her back, had both of them, but he knew that they had many moments like this ahead of them, Hunith had been forced into making every single decision for herself and Merlin, and had more than enough reason to be extremely cautious. _“Remember Hunith, you can listen in when you wish to. Ask me for answers, challenge me, but please don’t think I would harm you. Aine thinks he’s having a magical growth spurt and it should become more predictable again, but he’ll need the tools to keep it that way. Most are simple, like the centering himself and calming panic. Others, not so much.”_ _  
_ _“So it’s temporary?”_ She sounded so hopeful that Balinor hated having to correct her.

_“No. The lack of control, and manifesting of unfamiliar innate talents is temporary_ if _he is offered helping strategies.”_ Actually he also wanted to see if Anhora knew of a way to limit or suppress Seeing in a child, lest that become apparent later.

_“I see. Magic growth spurts?”_

Balinor rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, _“I forgot about those. It’s- think of it as the magical equivalent of teenage boys growing an inch a week, and breaking everything because they’ve no idea where their arms end anymore. I think I repressed it from sheer embarrassment. Oh gods, the number of things I set on fire by sneezing. It’s amazing my mother didn’t just stop replacing things. I love that she had faith in me mastering it one day though. Eventually.”_

_“So if the others are arriving soon what is she intending to do?”_

_“Visit her cousin I think, she can’t stay long enough to be noticed, but he recently had a daughter, and Mum’s got it into her head that they’ll somehow break the girl by only giving her pretty things.”_ _  
_ Well the woman wasn’t wrong, if one sifted through her son’s fond frustration.

_“Do they live close by?”_

Balinor winced, _“Well you could say that, she tends not to visit often, never liked the ceremonies as they got pretentious and she was asked not to call men at Court obnoxious or sleazy. Uncle Rodor was always rather indulgent though, I think he liked not having to be the one to say it openly first. Anyway, he would definitely ‘not find’ Mother in any search for her, or any companions, but she fears Uther could have spies or an ambassador near the family, so even if she was willing to admit we three live, which she isn’t, the risk is much too high._

_Plus Merlin would hate it. Actual noble life is intolerably boring for active lads like him, even ones without magic.”_

_“Court. Uncle Rodor. Explain, fast.”_ Waves of fury and anxiety alternated with her tangible agreement and approval of Aine’s lack of pandering to entitled brats.

_“I was raised mostly in the forests, but keeping the peace in the family, and in preparation for some of my duties some time at court was necessary, when I was young Mother kept it primarily seasonal. Rodor was not yet King, and was more of a brother to Mum than a cousin. We have little kin left, and she expects Uther to eventually remember certain Ties. I believe...I think she wants to have a last visit and keep her distance in hope. Much like I- well, everyone deserves to say goodbye properly. She knows the land, and can travel fast, it won’t take her long. We could wait for her here, or leave at the same time and meet at Gedref. Um...the links to the High nobles also mean that_ technically _if anyone dared try claim Gedref openly, it would be_ my _Birthright they challenged. For generations though the Dragonlords have recognised the land as belonging to no one, it is Hers alone, and we are nourished by it, the land has been given over as a refuge, and as such it is heavily defended and fortified by Magic and Nature. The Dragonlords never cared for conquest after the fall of Daobeth, it was declared amongst ourselves that we hold no land, and govern ourselves. What we claim as our own love, is the_ air _. The land is teeming with life, beautiful yes, but crowded, confined. The sky to one who is a brother to dragons is freedom, it goes on so far. Did I ever tell you about the Northern lights? They can be chased but never caught, it’s as though Danu Herself decided to paint the very air. The clouds up there are so much further away than you expect, and when a man reaches out to touch them they are not soft like wool, but slip between the fingers, like fast flowing water.”_

He let the tears fall, knowing he would never return there. Even if Kilgarrah was freed he would not desire to fly together, and Balinor would never force it from him.

_“So bringing us to the castle is- it’s not just_ any _castle Bal, is it?”_

_“Not really, no.”_

Hunith blew out steadily, _“It’s_ Your _castle.”_

_“Well as far as the records and archivists are concerned that would be the case, but I’ve really…. I mean I’ve not been there in years love, it’s not_ me _who lives there. It can’t be mine if I don’t live there, so, Anhora’s.”_

Hunith regarded him sternly. _“So what you were asking is not quite about taking us to a strange man you claim is a virgin-pure Guardian, but whether I’ll come home with you.”_

She arched a brow, making the relationship to Gaius apparent _. “I thought it was more important to explain, not to would have been deceitful.”_

_“Oh, and forgetting to mention the refuge was yours-”_

_“Not mine, Hers”,_

_“-or that you were homesick for what remains, and the castle which is only_ technically _yours wasn’t?”_ _  
_ _“It seemed less important that whether you thought it was safe for Merlin.”_ He said simply.

Hunith looped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly, _“Oh you daft man, Yes, we’ll go with you._ For now _. Then we can make a proper plan, for more than a day ahead.”_

She paused, _“So when you said you could have chosen anyone you really could have, couldn’t you.”_ _  
_ Sensing his confusion she smiled against his neck, _“But I didn’t, they weren’t you.”_

He could feel her rolling her eyes _, “Sap. I love you too. Next time though, begin at the beginning."_ Balinor huffed, muffled by her hair and relaxed, simply enjoying having her warm, and alive, in his arms again.


	13. Chapter 13

The reprieve didn’t last long,  a high pitched giggle warning the pair before Merlin half-stumbled into the house, running up to Hunith to tell her all about his game, and the hare he saw, how he had managed to hop himself.  Noticing the freshly skinned knees and elbow was secondary to seeing his triumph at finally managing to repeat the action Will had mastered early. Grinning widely she caught him up and spun him around as he squealed excitedly as Balinor leaned back against a wooden support, watching their antics. When she set him down again Hunith glanced up towards Aine, the flush on her cheeks all that gave away the infrequency with which she played now. “Can I clean these scrapes, Merlin, before you go back to playing, you must have been having fun.”

He nodded and started to explain all the different crashes and what he had to change to make hopping work with jumping.  Gathering the few things she needed Hunith managed to whisper unnoticed to Aine, “Can you treat the other one for the injuries he’s been pretending don’t hurt. I’m not going to lose him to some stupid infection after all this. The screen will give some privacy if he is obstinate.”

“I’ll even tell him you command it dear.”

Looking over to them Balinor arched a thick eyebrow “I can hear you talking about me you know.”

“Then why aren’t you behind that screen already?” replied Hunith tartly.

Balinor grumbled without any heat and did as he was told, “I know when I’m beaten.” Merlin listened closely, the words sounded like an argument but their softly smiling faces said it wasn’t. He tried to reach for Balinor’s mind and found that it was more closed than earlier, but when he poked at it a feeling of reassurance flowed through him, and the look his father sent him said he felt the question.

“It’s okay lad, just a wound from the fight, better get used to people caring again early I think, I’m fine, but it would be silly not to let proper healers heal us wouldn’t it.” He winked and stepped behind the reed screen, removing jerkin and tunic.

Aine’s air of playfulness sobered as she saw the gash that her son had only wrapped and gritted her teeth, _“You..._ You!” She switched to mental communication, _“Continuing like this was foolhardy Balinor, what were you thinking?”_

He rolled his eyes, _“Well to be honest I was thinking about getting us to a safe haven without losing anyone else, and trying to get my head around Hunith being on the same road I was unintentionally, oh, and that I have a_ son _. Not only do I have a child, but he is the strongest warlock I’ve ever seen, and terrified of his own self. When we finally_ got _to that safe place  had to someone that her husband burned- my friend, if it matters, and then,_ then _I got married with rings from Dryads who seem to have invited half the spirits of Albion. So yes, I’ve been a little distracted,  forgive me if the bleeding fleshwound was not a priority.”_

_“Always so melodramatic Bal, but I take your point. Don’t let it happen again, you got lucky this time, there is no heat to indicate infection, but that’s no guarantee.”_ Her tone conveyed her absolute seriousness. Infection killed a man just as often as bleeding out did, without any of the kindness of speed.

_“I promise Mother.”_ He was quiet as she searched for the honey required, gasping when she placed a hand near the edge of it. _“Sorry, unexpected. I’ve been trying to work out where he’d have seen those marks. They were nowhere in Ealdor, Camelot’s men would have razed it the first search if they did. You know Uther banned the language the day she died. He never understood it, never cared to try, just decided that any language spoken by the druids was a tongue of magic and nothing else. He didn’t bother to learn the written form either the stubborn prick, just shrugged and said that if he needed to know he had Igraine and Nimue to translate. The man can’t tell the difference between a word and an illustration unless it’s in the language of Rome or Wessex. I never showed Hunith much of it because it would have placed her in danger if we had been overheard. There’s no sign in his mind of someone breaking in, feeding him information. Yes there seems to be someone accidentally watching us on occasion- who was terrified by the way that I am not her ‘friend’, and furious he’s hurting. I was tempted to let her know he is safe, but I don’t want to reinforce a connection between them. Certainly not before he’s less vulnerable.”_

Probably for the best, thought Aine. Emrys should not be exposed to witches right now. Or perhaps not ever.  Prophecies were not easy to live under.

 

_“I think I need to stitch this Balinor, sorry. It won’t take long but I need to soak the gut for a few minutes. It’s the last of the protective liquid we had, which is unfortunate, but I can use the plants at Home soon to replace it, they’ll be stronger anyway. Stop fidgeting! You’re as bad as_ he _is, and an adult too. Men are the_ worst _patients.”_

_“Who was it? Please mum, if you know something, please. I can’t help him if I don’t know what he’s fighting.”_

_Destiny. He’s fighting destiny, and Fate, and darkness._

She couldn’t say it though, and Balinor saw her holding back.

_“So it’s like that is it?”_

_“Don’t, Balinor, if I had an answer I’d give it, but I haven’t seen anyone, or felt any dark powers around him since I’ve been watching him. He was at ease last night though, and spoke of seeing things before that he was not allowed to mention. Perhaps, it might be possible that he has seen them on a visitor before, or that_ he _is reaching for something he thinks is pretty in the minds of Others. He did say some are from dreams.”_

Balinor scrubbed his face with his hands, dropping his head back in frustration. _“The worst thing is that I’d rather it was some dark witch feeding him knowledge that is dangerous, than any of the other options. No good ones spring to mind that would leave no traces on his mental walls, permeable as they are.”_

Aine handed him a leather strap. _“Here, bite down on it, you know the drill.”_ He watched her thread the needle carefully, smaller than any other type. Mighty Dragonlord or not, Balinor found himself grateful for the leather before the end. Carefully making the last knot, Aine removed the strap, stroking his hair back and waiting for the shakes to stop _._

_“I realise it’s frightening, I have concerns too, and I think you are doing the right thing Bal, but you are too used to having to be on guard and fight all the time. You could be overthinking this, and I don’t think that one more night waiting is going to change everything for him. Or you. Try to enjoy this time with them, and speak to one who knows more about your troubles. Tomorrow is only one sleep away love. Just like when you were his age and counted down to Yule.”_

  
  


_“Does Kilgarrah know about him?”_ He asked abruptly. _“About his existence_ or _his magic?”_

It wasn’t something Aine had considered before, she really ought to have _. “I don’t know. I would expect him to, but you didn’t, and he seems to almost be shielded from perception.”_ _  
_ _“I need to find out.”_

_“_ Sit down, silly man, let me at least bind it first before you go stomping about the place.”

“ _What if he does?”_

_“Does what?”_ she responded automatically, wrapping the strips of cloth firmly around him.

_“Does have a perception shield- well, net, obviously some creatures can sense him properly. He leaks power, and his magic is instinctual. What if his desire to hide and not be seen, to ‘keep the magic secret’ as Hunith has been forced to teach him is manifest, he can see a life force and pause time, chats to dryads and other creatures, is it too much to think he might accidentally be filtering what is seen, or influencing it.”_

_“No dear, I don’t think that is a stretch at all. I hope it isn’t the case, but you’ll be free to address it with Anhora, and the unicorns might be able to help that. Left unchecked that could become dangerous, or choke him. They might just have had very unobservant neighbours in Ealdor.”_

_“Perhaps. A few of them would make you long for the conversation of a goat, but I doubt even_ they _would miss_ this _. Although if Kilgarrah knew and has been concealing it all this time…”_ Balinor took a deep breath. _“We’ll be having words anyway after this, whether or not he is feeling co-operative. Though the conniving bastard would probably give me several good reasons- or what_ he _thinks are good reasons for not saying anything, he never does act without reason.  I worry for what imprisonment will do to him. He told me the world wasn’t flat you know. I refused to believe him and he took me out beyond Eirre, high enough to see the horizon curve. It’s true you know, he has some wild theories about the arrangement of the heavens if anyone will give him the time to lecture. It’s his second - well, third favourite subject, after destiny and it’s trappings, and legends. It’s amazing how often he manages to entwine them all together.”_

He probably would too, and if he told Balinor the boy was Emrys, Aine would make sure there were consequences for the beast. Maybe it was for the best that they were estranged, because she couldn’t imagine _Kilgarrah_ being happy to use the given birth name of Emrys, rather than the name _he_ would know him by.

 

_“Could_ he _be responsible for introducing them do you think? Be interfering?”_

_“I doubt it. In theory, I suppose he_ could _but really it would have been a lot of trouble to go to for no tangible reward, and would likely have been damaging before. It would make sense if this was the first time, with his mind being so raw and open, but he says he’s show Hunith before and been told not to use them, so no, it seems unlikely.”_

Balinor grunted. It was too tidy a solution. Still, written language was taught, not knowledge that a child was born with, and Merlin hadn’t had the kind of experience with mental speech that indicated he was accustomed to conversing in such a way. So either he was lying about the lack of teaching, which seemed unlikely, or his _benefactor_ was intentionally hiding, and sneaking in and out of someone’s mind without consent was widely acknowledged as a violation.

The Balance underpinned all of the magic of the Earth. Light and dark, good and evil, life and death. It was at the core of it all, but it had clearly been an unfamiliar concept to Merlin outwith the kind required to hop. Otherwise he would have shown _some_ reaction to the dryad who told him he was good at it when he tapped into what ought to be unreachable; that still chilled him. His dark and light wolves were an ancient symbol he recognised from some stories he’d been taught with the others around a fire. They overlapped a little, but none had been the type to reassure a boy, other than that they did not apply to _him_. A horrible, creeping foreboding told him that they may well apply to Merlin. He only hoped Merlin was on the side of light. Darkness consumed people. Piece by piece, often hardly noticeable at first, and it was almost impossible to turn someone from the path once they chose it.

“There, you’re done. Be careful with it Bran, you will need to change the dressing frequently, tell me if you suspect any infection, immediately. The bruised ribs will just need time. Go on, you can think about it later. Get dressed and you can help me get ready for the arrivals, I don’t know if they will require any medical care or just feeding and a decent sleep.

“Have you warned the kid that his mum is due soon?”

“Gods no! I’ve no idea what kind of shape they’re in, only that they are near. If she’s looking worse for the wear I want her to have the chance to clean up first. You appearing to us blood covered and battle weary was rough enough, and Hunith and I are adults, and Merlin is...Merlin. She might be fine, but I don’t want him looking out for her just in case that’s not the case.”

The dragonlord frowned, disapproving of the plan to leave the child unprepared, but trusting his mother enough to know those she travelled with and their likely reactions.

“Will you at least consider speaking to Kara or Devin, I think they’d appreciate the warning, and you can tell them not to mention it to the boy.”

“You think that _they_ need the time to prepare themselves?”

“I do, I think that they need some time to make some decisions, and they were unsure of her return.”

_“Alright, I’ll speak to them, but the consequences if it goes wrong are yours.”_

_“I’ll take that risk Mum.”_ He rolled his eyes. Sometimes she held back more than was necessary. It was common in women trained by the druids and priestesses when they sometimes ‘knew’ too much, and all of them had a couple of horror stories from before they learned. He doubted this was one of those times.

“Right, well thank you for fixing me up, and getting me out of trouble for neglecting scratches, but I really don’t want to further delay you.”

_“Thanks Mum.”_ He added warmly as he stepped out from behind the screen.

“Do you want to go and check on Merryn love, maybe see if she’ll want some of the broth? I don’t think she is ready to see me, but she should have warning of a few travellers before they arrive, she’s had enough distressing shocks.”

“I should. Would you mind watching Merlin for a few minutes while I do? I’d suggest taking him for a bath, but I don’t want you to get a fresh bandage wet.”

Balinor shrugged, “The leather jerkin should protect it.”

Hunith looked piercingly at her mate over Merlin’s head, “ _He won’t go near the water without me Bal, especially with men, there were…..threats….made around him. Don’t push him.”_ Nodding once, his expression grim, Balinor turned to Merlin. “Your mother says you need a bath. So when she comes back, we’re all going to make our way up to the river together, ok? I had mine last night, they wouldn’t let us in the grove all mucky, but my tunic is still pretty rank smelling, which means Aine isn’t pleased about it against my cut. Would you mind me coming up with you and Hunith, so you can get clean and so can my clothes. I might be able to spear some fish too while we’re up there which we could smoke for travelling, or giving to the village.”

Merlin was quiet as he studied the man. “The water is not meant to hurt us.” He held out a hand to strengthen their connection and check. “You use it properly.  Never to put out people’s lights.” He nodded and let go, “It’s ok, you can come, you’re safe there, just not for fish.” Looking to Hunith he half mumbled “It’s a ‘don’t scare them away’ time, isn’t it.”

Hunith smiled at the boy with too much heart, and too much magic for their world. “Yes Merlin, it’s a don’t scare them trip. There are extra people today, and not enough saved in stores so early in the season to feed them all, so we have to hunt today.”

“ _I’m going to have to learn to use more greens, amn’t I.”_

Hunith smirked at him, _“They are good for you, and I_ know _that you_ can _cook. You just prefer what I make, or Aine’s cooking.”_

_“You are both delightfully skilled, I’m a blessed man.”_

_“Flatterer.”_

_“Simple truth.”_ He replied _._

“We’ll make sure it’s fast for them son. If you don’t want to learn I won’t force you to, but you’d need to pay extra attention to learning plants then.”

Merlin shifted, he remembered the cold winter, and when there wasn’t enough. He remembered the time the men had come and taken most of the harvest, and all of the mums had to use the rats because nothing else had babies fast enough, and he learned to make acorn flour. He remembered the village weeping. The words wouldn’t come out properly, so he reached for Balinor and instead showed him the memories. _“I want to learn. Always know how to find food, whatever the land is. Just in case. Mum knows which roots can be eaten, but stringy roots aren’t best for some people, even with the strings broken up.”_

Merlin didn’t understand why Balinor looked like he might cry, but hugs usually made _him_ feel better, so he decided to try that, surprised at how tightly he held him.

Hunith knew why, not having withdrawn before Merlin showed him. That would require some explanation she knew, with the adult contribution.

“Well, if you pair are settled I’ll just go and speak to Merryn and her girls. Try not to break anything, either of you.”

Merlin looked at Balinor confused and his father chuckled, “The first time your mother left me alone in her home I tried to do something nice, and instead ended up breaking her favourite pot. Without magic it was _very_ difficult to repair.”

“Oh. Was she cross?”

Balinor smiled, “Only a little, she had me make her a replacement so that I’d remember the effort that goes into a good one. It worked. I never forgot again.”

“I think I’ve broken too many pots for us to have good ones. Only by accident though.” Merlin looked guilty, “ _Sometimes I fix them before she sees when we couldn’t get a new one, she guessed once because it made a big crash, so now I don’t fix things if it could be heard breaking.”_

“I understand, Merlin,” His father’s voice was gentle and warm, “You haven’t had an easy time, and sometimes there isn’t one good reaction and one bad, just two differently tricky things. We’re going to stay here again tonight, and the druid Isildur is going to come later, then tomorrow Hunith, you and I are going to travel on to a place called Gedref. Aine has to visit someone first but then she will come back to us. We don’t know about the others yet, but I do know they will need a rest as much as we did!”

The child frowned and Balinor wondered if he should try to delay it, though the longer they remained, the higher the chances of aberrations being noticed and not ignored.

Relief and amusement washed over him when Merlin finally voiced his foremost concern.“Does that mean lots more walking?”  
“No son, a good day’s walk, but no sleeping under the stars needed if we leave early, and I can carry anyone who gets too tired before we reach it.”

“How early in the morning is early?” Balinor laughed and ruffled the hair of a now smiling Merlin.

  


Aine meanwhile, was finding it more challenging than expected to explain to two young druids what was happening. Mostly due to their being stubbornly asleep, and not aided be a quite thorough entanglement of limbs. She wasn’t entirely sure which ones she ought to try poking. The woman who was allowing them to stay in her home peered in the doorway. “I hope you don’t mind, but I took young Glendon here up to the field earlier. That pair needed to resolve some things without young ears about.” Her sly smile belied the quiet demeanour, clearly she had fully intended the pair to be unavailable, though Aine couldn’t say she had any objections, and might well have done the same thing herself.

“We’re just about to go fetch water for tonight if that’s alright with you. Maybe give them another half hour, after that I’m afraid they’re getting displaced for the housework and will just have to deal with any mortification without sympathy.”

She liked that the woman was not fretting about inappropriate behaviour or insisting they leave her home and said so.

“Oh please, after what so many have been through, and I’ve seen a lot, likes. I’m from Camelot me, left when I saw what was coming, my sister was on their lists see. Take comfort where you can find it I say, and never try to rob someone of what love they can find in amongst the madness. It’s a precious rare thing these days. This pair though are still new, ain’t they? Poor kid was so awkward, fallin’ over himself with her, an’ her blushing. Doesn’t seem like she’s a blushing type usually. Managed just fine until Glendon fell dead asleep and they were alone.”  She grinned wickedly, “Fortunately for _her_ that seemed to be about the point _he_  remembered how to speak, and what to do with a girl.”

Aine smothered an undignified giggle.

“Oh well, I suppose _half_ an hour won’t hurt, but that’s their limit, they can catch up on sleep tonight. I can’t give them longer though as we need to be organised and Kara may be needed.”

“Alright. I’m Alice, by the way, and I’ve met _Bran_ before, he’s safe in this place with any friends. I knew Hunith a long time ago too, but I doubt she remembers me any more, we’ve both changed, and if she did I don’t know how she would feel about me. If she remembers, please tell her I’m not in contact anymore and her secrets are safe, completely. Anyway, best get that water, hadn’t we."

She called to the boy who had been kicking a rock around, “Hey, don’t think you’re getting out of this, you told me you helped women, and even proved how strong you are, I’m not letting those muscles got to waste young man!” grabbing several waterbags and a large jar.  Before they were out of sight of Aine she heard a mental cough, _“If you want to speak to someone a little more…_ advanced in years _….tonight  I will be around, it seems you’ve not had much in the way of such company recently. I see the pain you hide from them and I share it.  You had left the Court life before I was there, but you were well remembered._ My Lady. _”_ She caught the wink Alice threw her way in surprise.   
Damn, well remembered indeed. Easily forgotten would have been _much_ more useful for these recent years. If she’d known what was coming she would never have allowed anyone to see her; but if she’d _known_ she would have fled as a girl and never looked back. So would they all. She closed her eyes against the bright sunlight. It might have worked for some, but Merlin being Emrys, Destiny would probably have found a twisted way to send her right back.

It certainly explained why Kilgarrah seemed to get unusually frustrated with her antipathy towards it and vehement rejection of predetermined paths, even more so with Balinor _specifically_. It had been important to him that the young man understand the concept properly, and his impatience with it unsettled Kilgarrah, yet never put him off. Balinor thought the old dragon was just obsessed with it, but Aine had known him longer and seen the changing focus. Not that Kilgarrah had ever been _disinterested_ in prophecies and destiny per se, he was a dragon after all, but he hadn’t always been as fixated on it. Now she completely understood why it had mattered so much, why he appeared to _need_ _them_ to pay attention. The Purge, the End, the Emrys, the Beginning.

The cryptic bloody lizard had been warning them all for years, and they had ignored him. Dismissed as wise-but-old, misunderstood, and it was too late now. She’d had enough time these few years to think about it, and what she had come to realise was that he thought he was being _perfectly clear. Obvious_ even. The human minds had heard riddles and half-truths from self interest. Now she wondered if he wasn’t just relaying the parts that were directly interesting to _him_ and leaving out the ‘boring’ parts and ones he regarded as irrelevant, which were not by the same parameters as for humans and dragonkin. She wasn’t a dragonlord though, so she couldn’t exactly call the Great Dragon up to answer her questions, and the Last Dragonlord was Emrys’ father, so she couldn’t go through him. She _hoped_ that it wasn’t Kilgarrah feeding Merlin written runes, spells, or fragments. So much could be lost in translation between species, gods help them if the Great Dragon was his only source of magical guidance! Her own father had a special room for sulking and ranting in after particularly frustrating draconic conversations or news that made no sense. Adding to all of that their complete lack of comprehension of short time frames- which to creatures which lived for millenia were years long, interpreting _important_ messages often required a council of Dragonlords. Which no longer existed. It seemed extremely unlikely though. All things considered, Aine would be astonished if a Creature of Magic like Kilgarrah did not recognise Merlin, indeed she’d be shocked if he hadn’t felt the child’s birth into their world. It would be unlike him though to approach anything he did not consider an adult, or at the very least no longer a juvenile. To many, when dragons were common enough, it had seemed like a snub, and confirmation that they did not consider humans worth bothering with. Really it was far simpler, yes they found humans in general boring and predictable, but staying away from their minds was a mercy. Even the High priestesses were warned not to try it. To try warped both as the magics would attempt some symbiosis that was natural for Dragonlords, but it destabilised both minds to twist them so unnaturally. The dragon could sometimes heal from an attempt, but the Priestess never would. It had been written into the Dragonlord’s Law that no one ever allow such an attempt to be made again after the few that failed, and that be explained to every hatchling. No one else had ever pursued it, and the High priestesses were the only others to draw draconic _interest_ . No reason had been given, but Aine’s own theory was that they felt the magic of the goddess through them and mistook the power the a priestess was merely a vessel for. A young dragonmind feeling The Mother, and yet unexpectedly finding a second soul could nudge, or damage it she supposed, maybe even leave it torn between the spirit realm and this one. The rare occasions were serious enough for each to have been recorded. Kilgarrah was mentioned in one such account as having intervened when one such woman had attacked a fledgling in a panic, he had struck her down declaring that her soul was gone, leaving an empty shell. That Merlin was struggling precisely because he _didn’t_ have that connection satisfied and automatically took on Others was not lost on her. What he would have done in the absence of Balinor didn’t really bear thinking about, because she had treated children with head trauma without knowing if they would wake up; some of them didn’t, and it was an agony you never forgot. Merlin on the road’s other prong would still be unconscious, unresponsive or screaming. This was better. For now at least.

That wouldn’t do, they didn’t have time for her to let the bleak thoughts overtake her, she sighed and opened her eyes, muttering near silently to a man long dead, “You’d better appreciate all my cheeriness and efforts you mad bastard. I’ve earned a dragonride in Avalon for this you know.”

She squinted at the sun, deciding she had long enough before she was needed to make a trip to the sacred grove to leave an offering without getting caught or followed and set off.

  



	14. Chapter 14

Isildur was exhausted. Without Aine, or even the young ones to relieve him on night watches, he had barely slept, and he was required to use stronger wards. The false trail had been distressingly simple to set, leaving bodies in the open had felt unnatural and twisted something deep in him, but to treat them with the respect normally shown for the dead would as much as sign a confession, and keep the knights coming. He had to trust that their spirits would find rest in the next world without guidance.

He had been shocked to see his friend in the fray, but time was not on their side, and when it ended they hadn’t spoken, for what could one say at such a time? Balinor had to go to protect Emrys, he understood that, and  _ he _ was needed to remain and take the those remaining a different way at a slower pace. After so many seasons of familiarity, he could trace Aine’s magical signature with ease, a fact that made  _ following _ such vague directions  _ muc _ h easier. He suspected that without it he would have to stop several times a day to attempt scrying to have any hope of meeting them at their destination, which was beyond impractical, even if it had been legal. With more than one injury between them but none were life threatening, no one had been willing to be treated at the site of the ambush. He hadn’t insisted.

They had walked until it was almost dark, finally finding shelter in a small cave, far further from Aine and Merlin than he could explain or feel comfortable with, and he’d coaxed a healthy fire to life. They needed help. One woman had a badly broken wrist, and he needed a second healer to properly set it, though by the grace of the gods it hadn’t pierced the skin. In the circumstances he had been forced to settle for immobilising it as much as he could given the swelling, taking more of her load on, and giving strong birch-bark tea.  

The first night no one spoke. 

Isildur searched, but everyone had closed down tightly. The world’s magic felt tense, not the way it usually did, it did not soothe him, and he got the distinct impression of being near the epicentre of some catastrophe. Strangely the disturbance settled without anything visibly being damaged, subsiding, not doing anything to ease his perturbed mind.

That night sleep did not come for the druid man.

Nor the next.

Despite leaving earlier that morning than on previous days, everyone having been afflicted with nightmares, it was slower going, all of them battered and bruised, despite the almost miraculous escape. The moved quietly until the sun was high. Isildur was skilled in many things, but motivating the dejected refugees and being the one they take their cue from was not one of them. It was just as as one of the injured began to whimper a bit, her inadequate pain relief having worn off that a young woman, hood concealing her identity stepped out from the shadows. Instantly on guard Isildur had stepped forward, she looked unarmed, but he was no  green knight out on their first patrol. Not all weapons were obvious.

“Speak. We are peaceful travellers and wish only to pass peacefully though these lands.”

The woman clicked her tongue and a dark horse emerged from the shadows behind her. 

“She said you’d be stiff. I am not here at my own whim, but on My Lady’s orders. She is  _ unable _ to travel out so, and her movements too closely scrutinised. You have not far to go until you meet with your companions. My Lady knows her time is short, and wishes to aid the companion of Emrys on their way, I bring some fresh food, bandages, and something for the pain. Anything more would have been noticed and drawn attention.” She bowed slightly to them and turned her attention to unpacking the saddlebags.  

Isildur tested her words and found no lies, and signalled his conclusion to the others, who instantly relaxed.

“Who are you?”

“No-one important.”

“I have learned that there is no such thing as an unimportant person. I will not trust someone who claims it as their identity. Who are you?”

The woman sighed, as though exasperated, a twinkle in her eyes betraying the truth of it, “I am the servant of my Lady Vivienne. She has long expected your party, and wishes you success in all endeavours. I am Agnes, and I have known my own end for as long. Already the mad king plots against my mistress, I must ride hard to Tintagel if her daughters are to stand a chance without their mother.”

The druid was surprised, his own experience had kept him aware of Uther’s most loyal servants, and Lady Vivienne’s husband was among them. “Will Gorlois not defend them.”

Agnes shoved the contents of the first bag at him, briefly making eye contact. “Gorlois is dead. My Lady has her own reasons for wishing an end to Uther’s tyranny. More complex than the orchestrated death of a husband in battle. She will not falter at the end.”

“Tintagel is a long way from Camelot, further surely than he would come.”

Agnes scowled. “Would that it were so. For my Lady he will. Whether she wishes it or no.”

Isildur’s hand clenched into a fist, he knew exactly what the sellswords and witch hunters had been given license to do, what Uther was capable of.

“Then thank your mistress for her aid, and should you reach her in time, give her our own wishes for  _ success _ in any of her own endeavours. Emrys will live. We will ensure it.”

Agnes took out tightly packed blankets and two vials of medicine from the second saddle bag. 

“See that you do. My Lady also sends word to him, for when he knows, that she is truly sorry. I do not know why, and I do not wish to. We will not meet again. May the triple goddess bless your steps and light your path. If you go  _ now,  _ and don’t look back, the red-cloaks won’t find you, I swear it. My Lady is never wrong.”

The woman bowed, and Isildur acknowledged it, swung herself up, and kicked her mare into a canter, disappearing the way she had come.

The tired group looked longingly at the supplies left to them.

“Can we trust her?” Asked the woman anxious to reach her son, face pinched in pain.

“Yes. Yes, I think we can, if only for her dedication to her mistress.” It had been many years now, but Isildur remembered a Lady Vivienne who danced with Nimue at a festival, she had been a Seer, though had chosen a life outside the priestesshood, Camelot had never been her home, or she’d have burned already, but Uther’s reach grew further as he removed those with power enough to challenge him, and there were still plenty of nobles loyal to him for clearing their way.

“We keep moving, find shelter, and then we can take sup.” He looked carefully at the vials, set the other goods down, and uncorked it, sniffing cautiously. Deciding to take a risk he turned his body to obscure it, and whispered a spell. Reassured he recorked it to give to the woman, “Drink half of this, it will help. Keep the rest for later, you will need it, and the faster we reach them, the sooner I can fix this.” He hoped the swelling would reduce before then. Isildur could heal, but he didn’t know how to deal with this without using magic, and to do so would drain him too much to lead anyone to safety.  They had come to far to turn back, even if they  _ weren’t _ running from oppression. 

“It’s safe.” He nodded to the tonic. “No enhancements, but a simple painkiller.” The last word was enough for her to be willing to take the drug. 

One of them stepped forward to pick up one of the bags. “Let’s go then.” He smiled tightly, “I don’t know about you but I’m starving, and a beautiful woman just handed us food, so either I’m hallucinating, or we need to move.” He gripped Isildur’s shoulder. “Come on. No looking back. Show us the way forward.”

Nodding, he took the other and after helping the woman drink, he stood forward, found his guide and was gratified by their closeness, and finally with mere hours between them he began to lead the group properly towards the others.

  
  


Aine had walked toward the sacred grove with a turbulent mind, chaos not quite quenched as she wished it to be, but as she removed her sandals and went through the familiar motions of preparing herself before she stepped onto holy ground her mind began to calm. 

Satisfied, she crossed the threshold, and immediately the atmosphere was different, the magic in the air thicker. The night before there was much she had not noticed, like the fragrance around her. Little light fully penetrated the canopy, and the ground was dappled, though there were some young trees, several were ancient things, must have stood for centuries before her own birth, and none unguarded. “Come speak with me please. I wish to talk to the elder of this place, and seek wisdom.”

Creaking loudly a gnarled face formed from what had been the thick trunk of an oak, and slowly, as if stiff, old bones slowed him the man climbed out, regarding Aine curiously. “You were here before. With Emrys.”

She smiled. “I was. He does not know yet who he is, and yet you do. How is it that you recognise him so easily?”

She could have sworn that the rumble was laughter. “We are puzzled that anyone  _ doesn’t _ . He is not hidden from us, he is  _ one of us _ . A creature of magic, and Magic itself. How can we fail to recognise the essence of what sustains us? He shines. His father does not recognise him  _ yet _ , but he will. He has  _ seen _ inside the heart of Emrys and he fears for him. No one could touch his mind last night, the shield around him is the Dragonlord’s. Only Emrys can reach through it.”

“Then you have not been speaking to him. Or any of your kin.” She was confident of her conclusion.

“The goddess has forbidden it, even if we could. We would not challenge them.”

Well, that was less than reassuring. “Who has forbidden it, is there one I must thank?”

The dryad elder looked shrewdly at her, “I do not believe your motives for asking are pure. This is between Emrys and his k- the gods. When he learns about this Old world he will know. When it is time, so will you. Remember Lady Aine, love does not lead only to  _ good _ acts, it leads where you are willing to walk. He will need to  _ know _ this.”

“I swore to mine to keep living.”

“And Uther swore a perverse vengeance.”

“I will remember. Does The Great Dragon know of Merlin?”

“The heir of his dragonlord? Of course.” Aine had expected that, so carried on,

“Does he know of Emrys?”

The not-oak rolled his eyes. “The creature of pure magic felt the birth of Emrys, child of Magic, yes.” 

She nodded her acknowledgement. “Does he know they are one an the same?” 

The dryad was confused “Why does that matter?”

“To you it doesn’t, I can’t explain it in a way you will understand.”

He looked as though he was considering it, “I do not know. It has never occurred before.”

She breathed deeply, feeling the magic in the air, it was like waking up, as though everything was muffled before, she had almost forgotten what it was like to  _ breathe _ and feel renewed. Such pockets were becoming rarer.

Poor Merlin, if this was how  _ she _ felt, when so much  _ less _ of her soul was defined by magic. Losing it might break her, but for active magic, she did have an element of choice. Her son would be a shell of himself without it, and even now she could see how much of himself had been lost from before the massacre.

Merlin… she doubted Merlin would survive the loss. Perhaps he would last a few days, wasting away, but there would be nothing of  _ him _ left, and every second would be excruciating.

When he was less fearful she or Balinor would have to warn him of certain dark creatures and how to deal with them. Nimue wouldn’t tolerate a rival, and Uther was quite capable of keeping a few of the darkest things in his vaults if it suited him, she suspected there were many dangerous things improperly stored down there. If he thought he could contain Kilgarrah forever, his idea of ‘safely kept’ was skewed heavily towards madness already. She almost hoped that he truly was mad, it was less horrific than a man choosing with intact faculties to enact a genocide. She had served him baked apples as a boy, laughed at terrible jokes, as one did with children, and he had slaughtered her family, grown into a monster. Biting her lip and preventing any more than one tear from escaping. No. That would not be Merlin’s fate. 

She wasn’t a fool, she knew he’d killed with magic already, of course he had. She  _ suspected  _ that he had called help without even realising it long before his self preservation would work as it had days ago. In a world where battles were common, and many lived on the edge of starvation or slavery, it wasn’t uncommon to find survivors who had killed young. Usually accidentally. 

It was important that he knew how to do  _ fun _ magic,  _ beautiful _ magic, wasn’t primed to become someone’s weapon.

She knew the prophecies. In all of them he would have plenty of battles ahead of him, but she suspected that the were some paths to fate less brutal than others. Aine  _ hoped _ that the title was metaphorical, but she had lost much of her natural optimism in the last few years, so if he  _ was _ trapped here, she intended to try and ensure he was as whole as possible. 

Part of her wanted to ask if they knew the definitive answer to that, but she didn’t, deciding that she wasn’t ready to know the answer for certain. Just on case she was right.  

Calmly she relaxed her muscles, letting the magic seep into her, not that she could  _ actually   _ capture magic that way, or use it if she had, it was the magic of the Earth, not her own, and she hated twisting such, let alone doing so in a sacred place. 

“You are leaking.” Rumbled the old dryad. She had almost forgotten he was watching her,”

“Tears. Humans shed them. Sometimes it’s dust in their eyes, or cold, and most it’s emotion.”

“Huh. I did not know humans leaked.”

A smile spread over her face, “We do not enjoy others seeing. I do not think you, nor the goddess will share mine, you carry many secrets, what’s one more eh?”

He creaked, “It depends on what the secret is.”   
She grimaced, he had to go and point it out. “Some knowledge is difficult enough to carry without knowing all things rest on your shoulders. I just want them to be a  _ little _ wider before placing this on him.”

The dryad couldn’t judge age. All the humans and dragonlords were just counted as ‘young’ for him, but he assumed this meant the boy was  _ very _ young for humans. Years were hard to keep track of in such small numbers. After a century or so one winter rather blended into another. “Then you must keep your promise to your mate to live, lest another tell him in a negative way.”

“Indeed. I’ve no intention of dying inconveniently, but I take your point.” Accepting it the dryad began to recede into his ancient oak, his voice almost lost as a whisper on the wind as he disappeared. 

“ _ Trust them, all is as it should be.” _

She wanted to ask them if Kilgarrah might reach out to Merlin despite his age on the basis that he was Emrys, but that would raise questions from the woodland spirits. Really, if Kilgarrah had been  _ anywhere near _ Merlin with Balinor’s shield, it ought to have caused an instant reaction. Those pair had the least sense of fear of all the dragon pairs, and were intimately familiar after the crazier stunts they had pulled. She had torn into Balinor after he came home naked, every stitch of clothing incinerated having decided to test whether or not dragonfire was safe for him. Not a mark on the man, but she was sure it had taken five years off her life. After that he promised to hold back a little, not to leave her entirely alone in the world. 

Kilgarrah had  frequently insisted he wasn’t a horse, and Balinor had suggested he find an amenable pegasus to fly with instead and compare. The Great dragon had carried the boy off on more than one occasion in a snit, dropping him on top of a mountain, or in a lake.  Aine would shake her head and tell them they were too old for water fights and ‘catch’, never  _ really _ meaning it. Those days were long gone, and she  _ missed _ them. More than anyone knew.  She had been left with  _ nothing _ after Uther’s Purge grew worse.

Now suddenly she had more than she had ever expected to again, a family, a purpose, and it was one she could never have expected. 

That last day with her mate, she had been busy, and he had refused to leave until they had said goodbye  _ properly _ . He had told her he loved her more every day he had had with her, to never forget it, and whatever happened to  _ live. _ For him. That one day she’d understand. He knew she realised after, he had known he was going to his death, and had gone anyway. Now she was certain he had known about Merlin too. Which meant at least one of the dragons had. 

She wished she could remember more of the last conversation between them, but all that she could recall was something about coins and kings. There was a council of Dragonlords mere days before the massacre, and somehow Uther appeared not to have garnered many magical relics or objects from them, one or two, but not what she’d have expected. At the time she was too crushed by grief to make the connections, but now it made her feel sick, they weren’t  _ stupid _ . You didn’t  _ get _ stupid dragonlords, or how could they be trusted with control of a dragon. Idiots or the notably self serving simply didn’t inherit. It did not tend to go down well, but safer than arming them with control of dragons. They met Uther’s trap for a reason. Aine now believed that Emrys and Albion were that reason, and for whatever reason, they had trusted her to help protect that path. It had been close. She had promised him at the end she would live, but after she was captured she almost failed, the torture had almost broken her, when she escaped she was running a fever, and the druids who found her hadn’t expected her recovery. She remembered the shocked gasp of one when she finally healed enough to be recognisable as their Elder. It had served as a lesson for them that peacemakers were no longer safe, Aine already bore their tattoo. One had caved and used magic as she slept to heal her face, the rest took longer and was mostly left to nature, but her ordeal would not be obvious at a glance for the rest of her life, and she would forever be grateful for that. Once she had wondered if she deserved it for surviving when so many did not, but her goddess had lifted her from the mire, reminding her that no one deserved any of it, and she had  _ decided _ from that moment not to merely  _ exist _ , but to find it in herself to truly  _ live _ as she had promised her mate. Her throat ached, but she had spilled far too many tears already for what could not be undone. She had been careful, trying to hide the scars, but she knew it couldn’t last forever. They all had some, she reminded herself. Inside and out. She suspected someone had used magic to set the bones in her hands and join ligaments knowing her to be a healer. Healers could do little without use of those.

She had honoured their risk by using them to heal as many as she could in her time, though she had avoided using her magic openly for a long time, despite the nausea and pain it left her with. Until Isildur and Kara had called her on it, long before they left together for Ealdor. Both recognised that the difference in their Elder was not only due to her trauma and loss, and both believed using her magic naturally as before would help her to feel like the same person she had always been and regain her true sense of self. They had on that occasion been correct, and it had only been then that she felt right acting as an Elder again and performing rites.

There was a fork where she ended she knew. One where she was never found in time. Perhaps there was a branch where she was never caught. This was why she hated destiny. It could be so specific and at the same time so damn vague. 

Her mental walls were like a damn Hill fort’s defences not for her own protection but others.

Trust.

She could do that. She could do that a little longer. It had brought them this far already. The peace of the grove was a restorative to her soul, enough to keep giving freely without running dry. 

Before she left, Aine very carefully left her offering to Arianrhod in the place an altar would be placed were the Old Religion still legal to practice, and thanked Maiden, Mother, and Crone. 

Leaving that place was like returning to a different world, the new world. It was a world now that had her family in, and had hope. It was enough.


	15. Chapter 15

There were few spaces left where one could make an offering to the old gods. There used to be places sacrosanct to specific deities and spirits, but it was no longer possible, and she didn’t know when she would next have the opportunity to acknowledge them. Merlin was too young to do so on his own behalf. She was guessing at that one, but his insistence on a moon princess where she had seen only an owl was suspicious. While minor gods and goddesses themselves were plentiful- or at least she found it to be so, listening to what he exploring dragonlords reported, there were few that _they_ had links to.

The triple goddess was over all, but Aine had grown up the daughter of a dragonlord, been married to one, and they were not _quite_ like true humans, many of the women were Seers, or like her.  

The Others were drawn to rivers, to earth, to the hunts. Her heritage was Merlin’s own. The dragonlords had little use for, or business with the river gods! Already controlling dragons, no one wanted to invite the attention of any gods of destruction, they knew how that ended, _their_ gods and goddesses were those of sky, and magic, and time. Nwyvre,  Bladud, Brigid, Belisama, Scathach, Dewi. Not tied to the same few fields, her kin had seen how wide the world was, and didn’t concern themselves with appeasing the guardian of apple trees and such, but while their souls were those of dragons, it was always wise to consider themselves _guests_ in the vast skies. The clouds cared nothing for the borders of men, the rain fell on every land the same. Where the little kings saw a patchwork of lands in constant conflict, a dragonlord in the air saw a greater whole, a flowing world that was too great to be harnessed and broken up by petty men. It made them even harder for a king to bring to heel, and destroyed any hope of drawing ‘proper’ respect from them. Even kneeling there was an air of amusement, of humouring an arrogant youngster that they could never _quite_ hide.

Many had come to the conclusion that the gods had no respect for human boundaries _at all._ They went where they wished, visited, left, sometimes acquiring new names, other times not noticed at all.

 

Very few would dare tamper with _Fate_. Or destiny. It was dangerous, and rarely led to anything good. In _theory_ anyone except the sanest, most gifted Seers was prohibited from trying, but if anyone was going to break the rules it would be her kin and their watchers.

It was always safest to thank the triple goddess, as certain of her elements was prone to getting rather annoyed if one failed to do so, and she had than enough trouble in her life right now.

 

Merlin kept his eyes on his father, but his mind was elsewhere.  

Hunith wasn’t gone long, not wishing to intrude on the grief of someone who had lost a husband when she couldn’t hide the delight of finding her own.

“Merlin, you’ll need a towel, and clean breeches. Your other pair are away down in the bottom of my pack, and the ones on you look as though you’ve been dragged backwards through a bog, left to dry, gone berry picking, and hung upside down for a day or two. Honestly, I swear you _attract_ dirt and debris.” His mother was smiling though, she was actually shocked they weren’t _shredded_ after their ordeal and journey.

“Nope. ‘Just happens.” He grinned brightly.

“So does washing. Go on, the river isn’t going anywhere, no matter how long you drag your heels, so let’s get it done, alright?”

Merlin swallowed and nodded. Water was safe. He felt it last night, water was calm, much calmer than people, and as long as he was careful he could trust it to flow around him.

When he really couldn’t put it off anymore he reluctantly trailed after his mother. Alice and the others saw only a small boy trying to avoid a bath, nothing unusual in that. If he was enthusiastic it might be stranger. Balinor strolled behind them with his borrowed fish spear, trying to give Merlin space without making him feel followed. Threatened child-warlocks didn’t always think before acting. Being noticeable was a safety measure. He’d been thrown against a few walls, and sure, he got back up, but he still bruised! Knowing that Merlin was going to have far too much pain in his life, he hoped to get a chance to teach him how to soften the impacts. Any favourite underwent ‘trials’.  Merlin had survived the latest, unlikely his first, the next he should be better equipped for.

 

The river’s edge was far enough away from the houses to be ‘safe’. No one wanted to build on a flood plain. Rebuilding a village destroyed by floods was as hard as rebuilding one that was burned.

“It’s supposed to be calmest just a few hundred yards upstream, no rapids closeby, and there’s a shallow part. The downside is that you’ll have to avoid the frogspawn Merlin.” He spoke deliberately so as not to startle Merlin, who had begun eyeing the river cautiously, as though trying to convince himself it was ok. _“It’s a different course. That’s all. You got back in the water near Ealdor, even though it was the scariest. This water is all apart of the same cycle. The clouds up above you are water, if you reached out you would feel it- no, not now, stay with us,- they fall as rain on the hills, in the fields, and some runs to the rivers. You will see it one day, though you haven’t yet. If you followed this river all the way to its end you would reach the sea. Sea is like a lake that stretches right out as far as you can see and further. All rivers are connected to it, and the clouds draw water from the sea. This water in the river next to us is the same water that flowed by Ealdor, and the same water that nourishes the crops, or sparkles as dew. If you can face the scariest river, you can wash in this one. Unless your plan is to be muddy forever and miss the fire tonight.”_ He winked. Water was one thing. Fire; that was _their_ element. Merlin would likely be able to eventually use them all, judging by what Balinor had seen, but where most magic users had a healthy fear of flames these days, Merlin lit up at the mere mention of them. He might not understand why, but he knew that the fire _felt_ comforting, felt _right_ , like home.

Others would appreciate the heat of a fire, respect it, but children like Merlin? They reached out to the flames, yearned to feel the sparks dance along their skin, and must have been utterly terrifying for Hunith. He highly doubted that Merlin _hadn’t_ stuck his hand in the fire, and without the expected burns, his mother would have assumed he’d somehow missed it, or she had thought him closer than he was. Water would be trickier to bend to his will if he ever tried, but fire _wanted_ him to direct it. Setting themselves alight was not a stunt any of the dragonlords generally pulled, given that it usually either panicked people, or they decided the visitor was a demon. Plus the clothes-maker in their lives was always blisteringly angry. _They_ might be next to fire-proof, but their clothes weren’t. Unfortunately it didn’t apply for the liquid fire or dark-magic conjured volleys from _evil_ sorcerers, so shields and reactions likely would still matter.

He had done it once. Mostly to see if he could, as while not abnormal it wasn’t a _common_ skill, and partly because Kilgarrah had decided while they were out together that the young one hadn’t seen enough ‘North’ yet. North, it turned out, was bloody freezing.

His mother had glared at him for weeks, and quite literally grounded him until the clothes were replaced, and a fur lined cloak made, that he wasn’t allowed to forget, and he hadn’t. Even now he’d hidden it with certain heirlooms. He’d never expected to have someone to inherit them. He had left his Camelot cloak with Hunith, he couldn’t wear it anymore, but it was practical and warm, made to last and keep men warm even questing. His _may_ have had a little _very subtle_ reinforcement. It was nowhere near enough to be sensed by passers by, just minor insulation.

It seemed a little late to mention that to Hunith now.

He watched as Merlin carefully got closer to the water, digging his toes into the river bank.

“Is it really the same water?”

Balinor nodded, “It fell from the same clouds overhead, didn’t it?” Merlin looked at it suspiciously, his hands clenching and unclenching by his sides. “Ok. is mum coming in?” He turned his face towards her hopefully. “Of course I will love, clothes off first, or only half of you will be clean, I’ll put the towel and change on that big rock, and then we’ll go in together.” She removed her pinny, and her overdress with it’s brooches and belt, then tucked up the chemise into her drawers before wading in with just a soapy cloth. Her new husband didn’t miss the lack of any beaded necklace, and the simplicity of her belt where before she had worn intricately decorated ones.

“Be careful Merlin, some of these stones are slippery, look before you try to stand on one.” She stood about thigh deep in the water, more than enough for Merlin to get properly wet, without being too much for him. He tried, he really did, but water was not _meant_ for standing up in and he slipped heavily, shocked into catching himself when Hunith cried “Other hand!”.  Head injuries in water were dangerous, and she saw him instantly relaxed as he realised that he could practice balancing in water without fear. As he developed _that_ he ought to be able to learn to do so _without it_ for when unsafe people were present.

Merlin was delighted. He had _decided_ to not avoid water before and not be afraid of it, but this time he didn’t have to pretend, and suddenly he couldn’t stop laughing and splashing, until he accidentally inhaled some water and started coughing. Moving quickly to her son’s side Hunith didn’t see the water around him go still, as though waiting for him to breathe again.

When he stopped spluttering Merlin was hanging onto his mother.

“Can I get out now?”

She shook her head and showed him the washcloth, “No, clean first. All of you. Start with your face, and work your way down, remember all the wrinkly bits.” Merlin grimaced, he really didn’t see what harm mud could do, but Mum really was insistent. More than anyone else’s, which he thought was very unfair.” As the suds floated away on the slow current Hunith nodded, “Ok, _Now_ you can get out, or you can try and catch the minnows at the edge.”

She called to Balinor as she turned, “Chuck me those manky clothes Bran, I’ll see how much we can remove on a first rinse.” Muttering about the lack of proper washer women in such parts she did what she could with the bundle.

It was better than nothing, and while she could hardly use lye on Merlin’s things, she wondered if it might be possible to boil was them at Gedref. Castles must have provision for laundry, surely? She’s do Merlin’s hair and hers in a rosemary wash later. Most people had thought she was a little odd, for it, but aside from her private theory about infection and dirt, which had evolved from watching Gaius and her mother care for open wounds. Why wash it of cauterise to prevent infection if it was bad air? Patients breathed air, it was always in the body. A wash made sense. Every healer knew that leaving in a foreign object was an invitation for infection.

More than any of that though, Merlin often had bruises, and he had learned from _her_ actions to conceal them with smudges of dirt from fields, or ash from the hearth, subtly. Making Merlin wash regularly meant she saw the truth. She saw what he would never tell her, and it broke her heart every time. She wondered if their being a proper family would reduce the frequency of that heartache, or if Merlin simply stood out too much in any group and would attract trouble. As though reflecting her own thoughts a shadow gathered, like a cloud passing in front of the sun.

She checked automatically and saw that Merlin had frozen just a few feet from the edge and was breathing shallowly. Following his gaze she move quickly to him, forgetting her own clothes.  
“ _Bran!_ Put that away you fool!” He was sitting at the side, whittling something idly. A look of confusion crossed his face until he saw Merlin’s face. Instantly he dropped the knife and held his hands out palms upwards. Inching forwards to where Merlin could see he posed no threat. Hunith concentrated on calming her son, “Breathe Merlin, in and out slowly, I’m here, listen to my voice, it’s ok. You are safe. I’m going to pick you up now, and we are going up onto the land. No more water ok. Look at me. You are safe, no one is here to hurt you. There’s only me, and Balinor.” She carried him the last few steps and up the pebble beach. Setting him down gently on the warm rock and wrapping the towel around him. Looking less frightened he finally started to register where he was. Uncurling from the defensive position he had automatically curled into Merlin looked around confused, “Mum?”

She stroked his face and smiled gently, “Hello Merlin, back with me?”

His eyes were dark and downcast, “Sorry Mum.”

She shook her her and pressed her lips to his forehead. “Don’t you _ever_ be sorry for being scared Merlin. Afraid is ok, fear keeps us alive. Courage is feeling it and not giving up.”

She sighed as the miserable look remained.

Making sure he broadcast safety rather than threat Balinor spoke calmly, _“Merlin? I know you hear me. I’m going to reach out my hands and you can check them. There’s no trick, you can check. Does my mind feel scary?”_

Merlin bit his lip and whispered _“No.”_

_“Good. It shouldn’t. I want you to concentrate on my heartbeat and yours, on me and mum being_ here _. Now, can you remember what the thing that frightened you was and tell me, or show me?”_

Merlin shifted uncomfortably. _“It’s okay if you can’t.”_

A stab of pain shot through Balinor as Merlin grabbed his hand and something was _shoved_ into his head, just the way a child would do with an item that distressed them, except that there was no object. Instead there was a memory, or rather two of them, overlaid. One was of him minutes ago, spinning his knife and carving, until his eyes flicked up to Merlin brightly, and then it flashed back to one before. He wasn’t there, and assumed Hunith would have been close, but not in front of Merlin. It wasn’t one where _water_ was the threat, though Merlin’s sense-memory had him about waist deep. Instead a man sat at the side, twirling a knife as he grinned malevolently at the child, leaving him unnerved, and stopping to examine the blade critically. Holding eye contact he started honing the blade, before pointing the rod at Merlin and drawing the knife slowly across his throat. He felt Merlin’s fear as his own and the memory melted away. Balinor’s eyes burned.

“Alright. Well done son. No knives near water then. Not even for carving.”

Merlin didn’t understand, “But...you’re not- not angry? But I spoiled it.”

His father stroked his palm calmly and kept his voice gentle. “No you didn’t. Look at me Merlin, do I look angry?”

“No.”  
“Do I look upset?”

Merlin shook his head hesitantly...  
“Is anyone hurt?”

“No.”

“So if I don’t look, or seem, or feel angry, you can trust I am not. Grown ups should have better control of their emotions than to lash out if they are disappointed. _I_ made a mistake Merlin. I knew you were nervous and I didn’t warn you I’d sit and do that, if I had then perhaps I wouldn’t have scared you. Next time I will know not to.”

Balinor could feel the fear and panic leaving the child, saw that his breathing had returned to normal again, and couldn’t work out why he was still  radiating sadness.

“What is is Merlin?”  

_“I spoiled it. You won’t want to teach me now.”_

_“Of course I will. Whatever you want to learn, if I know how, and your mother agrees, I’ll teach you. Don’t let bad memories keep you from making new, better ones. The mean man? He gets_ one _memory. You get to decide who to share the rest with.”_

Hunith watched them carefully, watching every twitch, hearing parts of the conversation and missing others. Merlin straightened his back as though realising something. “Only one. Next time… next time can we try again? He made me scared.” Now Merlin sounded angry, but not at them. “He can’t have carving too, I won’t let him.”

“Alright dragon-heart. Next time, but tell me if it’s too much, and we’ll wait until the day _you_ are ready. Since you’ve stopped shaking, it’s more than time to get your fresh clothes on, you’ve almost air-dried.”

He stood back and walked to the water’s edge, bending to pick up a stone and skimming it, ordering his thoughts.

Sniffing his shirt Balinor scowled, not so many years ago it would have been a simple matter to restore it, yet now that was too risky and he had to engage in this ridiculous theatre that would never work as well. Stripping off his tunic was simple but he felt _exposed,_ usually he wasn’t troubled by the idea of his scars or ink being seen, but he didn’t want to shock unsettle Merlin further, and was quite certain that visual reminders of their fragility would be ill advised for now. Looking to Hunith for help and indicating the areas she had seen earlier she understood immediately.

“Actually _Bran_ I think that we might be able to save that shirt, they’ve lye back in the village, can you keep it on for now and I’ll do it _properly_ once everyone has been seen to.”

It was posed in such a way that Merlin should perceive it as an instruction being given politely.

“You really think you could? I haven’t had much of a chance recently, or much reason. Travelling mostly alone is faster but certainly has its downsides. I never thought I’d _miss_ smelling as fresh as a workhorse.”

Hunith’s eyes flashed at ‘travelling alone’ but she remained outwardly serene.

He could avoid mentioning anything the dragonlord knew, but on balance it seemed unhealthy for either of them to hold back or pretend the years hadn’t happened, slight mentions should help fill in some gaps and give a measure of understanding to each of them over time, without forcing either of them.

“It can’t be harder than Merlin and Will’s things, or mine come harvest.”

Merlin looked up, puzzled. “But Mum, you were much yuckier when you came back in winter, or after babies came, and after the bad men, and-”

“YES, Merlin. Lots of times. I know.”

Balinor noticed the wince, as though the mention caused her pain and resolved to ask her later.

“Do you still want to try and get a few fish, or would you rather return with Hunith and see another day?”

Merlin regarded the spear ambivalently. “If I don’t come, they will still have given their lives to us. It doesn’t change from if you get them or I do when we both eat them. I should see where our dinner is from before eat it.”

“Ok, then we need a good spot, and very low voices or quiet, fish are easily spooked.”

“They feel voices.” Merlin stated it quite matter of factly and it wasn’t worth disagreeing.

_“Then we will talk in a way they can’t feel.”_

 

Hunith had forgotten how skilled Balinor actually was at living from whatever was around him, and how good fresh clay-baked fish was until he suggested it.

Merlin had excellent senses for spotting the prey, and had been rather proud of himself for helping find them, but his father had sent him away before gutting them, deciding there had been enough challenges for one day already.

So it was that Merlin and Hunith returned to find Aine speaking quietly to Kara and Devin in the home of the village leader, both looking less awkward than such teens would have in Ealdor. Both looked less hollow than the night before, and still in need of about a week’s sleep.

Merlin looked between them and looked disgusted, but marched over to the nearest patch of grass and picked a bunch of dandelions, daisies and assorted ‘flowers’.  Bringing them to Devin he leaned up to whisper _“You’re supposed to give her these first, but you are good at stories so she might not mind.”_ Hunith had a great deal of practice in maintain a straight face at such moments, but both the youngsters were visibly struggling, Kara’s eyes watering a little as she noted the wild variation in stalk length and one coming with a few roots visible.

_“Thank you Merlin”_ Devin send him a quick wink, “Please forgive my thoughtlessness earlier, dear lady, I had not brought you anything nice earlier, knowing that no loveliness could compare to your beauty. I shall do my best to make it up to you later by telling you a very special story, all of your own.” Merlin nodded solemnly. _“That’s better.”_

He was glad that Kara only seemed to give tiny kisses.

_“Who told you that girls are supposed to be given flowers Merlin?”_

_“Mum likes them, and she’s a girl.”_ He shrugged. _“Didn’t you see the ladies last night? Girls like flowers, especially when they can’t grow their own. If girls want flowers why_ don’t _they grow them?”_

Balinor smiled gently where he leaned against the doorframe, _“I don’t know Merlin. Perhaps some never thought of it. Other times they do and boys don’t bring them so that they don’t pick the wrong kind.”_ If Merlin was just accustomed to seeing magic creatures without realising, and nature spirits then he definitely needed to learn to recognise when someone touched his mind.

Clearing his throat he drew the attention of the others, “Where should I put these to bake so that I avoid stepping on any toes?”

Hunith and Aine looked at each other, “Pit oven?”

Aine shook her head, “No. The woman who is hosting the other three won’t mind us using her fire as long as we rebuild it. She knows I’ve a certain skill with lighting them, and so does Bran.”

“She’s met him before?” Hunith tried not to sound jealous.

“She has, but not recently. He is not the person she lost in Camelot. Alice isn’t going back.”

Hunith looked stricken. “No. You didn’t tell her about Merlin? Tell me you didn’t tell her about _us!”_

The druidess looked concerned, “No, but she recognised you yesterday.”

“We have to go. Can’t stay. Alice is...she’s too close…”

Aine had moved to Hunith’s side, “What is is? Who is she to you?”

Hunith swallowed hard, “She- Her ties to Camelot are strong. I don’t speak with my brother. She’s the reason, I think, if it weren’t for her, he might have left Uther’s side when he could. It’s complicated.”

Placing a hand on the woman’s shoulder Aine sent warmth and comfort, “Hunith, she said that if you recognised or remembered her you should know that she’s not in contact with _anyone_ there anymore, and won’t tell anyone. Your brother doesn’t know about Merlin?”

His mother brushed the unwanted tears from her eyes, “Merlin was born after the Purge began. Gaius is still in Camelot, I don’t know how he can… Anyway, a message could have been intercepted, he has magic, not like Merlin, but enough to suspect blood relatives. I haven’t spoken to him since the slaughter began. He has no idea his nephew exists.”

“And he won’t from us.” Aine flicked her eyes over to Balinor, silently observing.

She spoke flatly to Hunith, knowing how far someone would go to protect a child, _“I could_ blur _things for her, but a woman like that would probably notice and pursue it. You need someone stronger.”_   
Balinor’s lips turned downwards. _“If she poses so much of a risk you’d ask that of me I’ll kill her first Mother. I won’t break some sorceress for her past connections, or do you think  I should question your loyalties because of Nimue?_ I _was a friend of Uther once. I won’t burn another mind. It’s horrifying.”_   
_“You’ve done it then?”_ _  
_ _“Burned someone’s mind? Yes. It’s agony, but far faster than a physical death by pyre which one is aware of. Mercy to the one facing the flames. She isn’t. Merlin_ won’t.” Aine cringed. If he ever did, it would give away what he was instantly.

Hunith frowned, _“Don’t. You can’t make promises like that._ ”

“Fine.” Aine sighed with resignation, “Let me show you where to put these to cook. Hunith, do you want to see her at all? It’s too late to leave today, you are already planning for tomorrow.”

Glancing at Merlin, talking animatedly to Kara and Devin about plants in stories. “It’s ok, I don’t want to worry him further, I’m not going to seek her out, but I won’t avoid her either, it’s too late to keep her from knowing.”

Her dragonlord looked apologetic, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you knew each other, she was just another refugee before.”

Hunith looked sad, “Aren’t we all, love?”

“Yes. She can never go home either, and her family are never coming for her.”

Hunith laughed bitterly, “A few months more and we would have been her family. I might not have been alone.”

Balinor wrapped an arm around her and pressed a kiss to her forehead, murmuring to her,

“No love, Uther would never have let _him_ leave, they would have followed, and found you all. You might not have been alone, but you’d have died in that company.

Staying was his way of protecting whatever loved ones he could, and it cost him everything, including his beloved’s respect and heart. Think love, Alice knew about you, she had to have known where you were, and she ran in the opposite direction. You are scattered, but it was never because no-one cared.”

She wrapped slim arms gently around his waist, “You are too calm sometimes love.”  
Balinor cocked a thick eyebrow, “And you are too forgiving. It works for us.”

“Mmm, I suppose it does.”

“Besides, would you _really_ want a free hot-tempered, vengeful dragonlord roaming through Albion?”   
“If Albion was real, no, I wouldn’t, not in truth.” The possibilities with that were dark. Darker even than Uther’s targeted genocide.

“ _Albion is real love. It’s an idea, a dream, and it lives in the hopes of those around you. You can say ‘the five kingdoms’, and to you it means the same thing. To them- to_ us _really, the land is not defined by fleeting kings, it was there before and will exist after. Albion is the whole together, the land in balance, with magic and life, even with shadows in their assigned places. You say ‘five kingdoms’, and it places humans over the gods, over the Earth and Sea. There are so many more kingdoms, so many more lands than we learn here, and they all crumble when they lose sight of the whole. This is the repeating pattern through the ages. Before the histories were written they were spoken. That is why the travelling bards were targeted by Camelot with sorcerers, driven from the lands, so the knowledge is lost. Soon only those few who_ remember _and know the oral tradition will hear. The king writes his own history. Rome was real, but it was not the first empire, not the first union of kingdoms. Others will rise, and fall. The earth remembers when we do not. Even the name Albion is a relic, and it is a promise._

_Ideas can be as real as this house, as the water need to live. Once they are shared, people often begin to make them manifest.”_

She scrutinised him, something clicking in her mind, _“You’re serious aren’t you? Sorry love, I’ll try not to be flippant in front of them. No matter what I think, everyone needs hope. Some days it keeps us breathing.”_

Her eyes drifted back to Merlin, and he felt the flood of emotions. “He’s going to need all the hope he can get in this atmosphere isn’t he?”

“Yeah. He is love, and he’s got the strength to find it in the darkness because he has watched _you_ Hunith.”

_“He looks so fragile like this.”_ Merlin was held on Devin’s knee, wide eyed as Kara listened to his story.

_“So does grass, but it springs right back up when someone tries to crush it._ Crystals _look fragile, but just you try to break one! Merlin is many things love, but he is not easily broken.”_ His mental voice was tender as he watched her.

Aine rolled her eyes, having waited patiently until there seemed to be a lull, “Good gods, can you pair hurry up already, or we’ll still be hungry come sundown.”

Breaking apart guiltily they followed his mother, Hunith deep in contemplation. Not many men treated wives as equals in terms of intelligence or autonomy, absurd to _her_ , but quite widely accepted. The druids hadn’t seemed to share the ideas of the settled villages in that way, at least with her and their Elder.

 

Once the food was set to cooking Hunith found her eyes flicking around the house, seeing nothing unusual except for the herbs and plants tied and hanging properly, ready to be made into teas, poultices, anything that could be required. Several different mortar and pestles on the shelves, avoiding contamination, a few healing tools. It was like being back in Gaius workshop.

Alice had never liked Uther, and she hadn’t understood why, but she _did_ know that the woman had spent the bare minimum to maintain her healing practice and respectable appearance, always putting something aside if she wasn’t paid in kind. Hunith was gone by the time Queen Igraine had died, but she suspected that Alice was better prepared than many for such a situation. Maybe she had seen something in Uther that his charm- for there certainly was some- covered.  

Ealdor had been well placed then for the travellers and traders who passed that way. It might have been a buffer between kings, but it meant that actual trained warriors were less likely to be looking to make trouble in the area. The road had made it easier to access other villages, and she knew plenty of folk who didn’t consider where their payment came from, or didn’t care. When it was unusual for someone to stay for more than a night, the details were rarely noted. Like them, except they would _definitely_ be remembered.

Aine followed her gaze. “Well, at least I know who to come to if anyone needs more complex healing.”

“I don’t think anyone needs to stay right next to this, do they?”

“Don’t you trust me with fire mother?” Balinor smiled slightly, knowing checking was a habit.

“Always. _Now_ at least.. Ok, if you say it’s contained, it is. That’s all to the good, because there is a train of people coming this way. Ours I think, but Hunith, hide with Merlin until we are sure.”

“Can’t you just _check_ if it’s Isildur?”

Aine’s features creased in concern. “No, whether it is or isn’t, his exhaustion is blocking me, and he’s only looking _outwards_ , not _hearing_. Everything has weaknesses and anything can fail. Go.”

She did, Hunith wasn’t going to risk her son just because a threat seemed improbable.

 

They were moving too slowly for Aine’s liking. In her experience, going slowly meant injury or illness, looking around she found a cauldron and a cooking pot, and set water to boil, beginning to organise the medicinal supplies that were most likely  to be needed. Alice ducked in as she finished arranging things, grimacing, “I saw Hunith headed towards the big house and sent Glendon with them, he’s hungry, and slightly less hyper than earlier.” She nodded towards the healing kit set out, You saw them too them. Tell me what you need and I’ll sort it. There’s a stock of the more common remedies stored properly, and if there is anything you need fresh I’ll know where to find it. Goddess knows we’ve few enough that find us uninjured.”

The druidess nodded in sympathy, she’d seen the same in Camelot and Essetir, and it saddened her to think it was the same around every part of Camelot’s borders.

“I’m sorry.”

Alice smiled tightly. “Don’t apologise. You saved my family, even if they will never recognise me as such. I can’t blame her either. She’s not completely wrong after all, but it wasn’t because of _me_ Gaius stayed. Go meet them. Kenneth can be daunting to strangers, they’ll be reassured by _you_ , and know it’s the right place. The relief at the end of such a journey when you see someone familiar is sweet indeed, so I am told.” Aine accepted the suggestion silently and left the woman to finish preparing.


	16. Chapter 16

When she met reached the perimeter of the village it was clear that the group approaching were their own.

_“Tell Hunith that it's Isildur, no one bearing us ill will”_ Balinor sent an affirmative.

Merlin looked up into the trees. Next time they should definitely hide in the trees. Everyone looks on the ground. No one ever looked _up_ , he could watch everything then, and still be secret.

 

Kenneth and Aine met them together and immediately the village leader directed Isildur to the main house to be organised by his wife, as Aine led the injured up to where Alice was waiting, establishing that there was no-one with a worse injury than Glendon’s mother they gave her a sedative that would relax the muscles in the damaged limb and dull the pain so they could set it properly, two of them would ensure nothing was dislocated in doing so.

Giving them some salve for abused muscles, and willowbark tea Aine directed them to go and get some food. Minor injuries could wait a little longer. Warmth and nourishment would do them more good right now.

 

Merlin had crept out as soon as they were declared friend, not foe, and had managed to scrounge an extra piece of bread. It did Hunith’s heart good to see him being _allowed_ to have extra, unlike in the village when they had been last to be offered. There seemed to be less interaction between the hamlet and the outside than in Ealdor, and a lack of the desperation that plagued their land. It had never been easy, but it certainly hadn’t always been so hard to eke out enough to survive, or she wouldn’t have settled there. Each harvest seemed to be less plentiful than the last, and still Cenred imposed higher taxes.

When she said as much to Balinor, hovering at her shoulder, he had looked troubled. “Magic is life love, for every one of us he burns, there’s a little less, and the land suffers. Where magic is free, crops are still healthy. Look around us, you can see it. Uther is trying to drive magic from the world, but is driving away something that nourishes what he and his people depend upon, as it spreads across the borders, so does famine and desperation. If you want to find magic, follow where there is abundant life.  Ealdor was kept afloat by Merlin’s magic until now. All actions have consequences. I don’t know what theirs will bring.” Cenred knows all this though. Every king learned it. I doubt that their desire to keep peace with Uther outweighs the desire for an advantage over him. Cenred always collared his pets. I believe that Camelot’s is the kinder reward.”

Hunith knew what the kings did to magic users. She’d considered more than once whether saving Merlin was the right thing or not, but in the end it was never really a _choice_ , not for _her_ , and what Balinor said made sense, for all the complications, and hiding they’d _had_ to do, Merlin was the most _alive_ person she’d ever known. Ignoring the fact he barely slept when inside. He had explained once that he didn’t like the sky being wrong and wanting to check it. She had told him to go back to sleep and check in the morning. He did not go back to sleep, but squirmed impatiently in the blanket until his mother had given up and let him go and check the sky.

He’d promptly fallen asleep on the ground.

 

She had raised him to have better manners than to _ask_ for extra, with food being scarce you just didn’t, and he was hardly going to start _stealing_ , but his wide eyed innocent look was also foolproof.

Hunith was quite happy to fade into the background, Merlin was content and they were warm, they had lost far fewer people than they really _should_ have, and there was a _plan_ , fragile though it was. Plans were good.

Kara had moved to begin applying healing salve to wounds, to prevent them festering, and someone had found a few extra furs for the guests. The villagers had been more than generous, but she knew how little it took to put pressure on resources, it reinforced her decision to leave with Merlin and Balinor in the morning.

What the rest were doing really wasn’t her concern, though she wondered whether they would continue on together, or remain, if her new mother in law had her own message to deliver. Balinor found himself a stool off to the side, and taken out his wood again, Hunith glared, which was usually sufficient to cow a man, infuriatingly Balinor only lifted a brow, “I’m working to a strict time limit dear. Look at him, he’s not afraid, and I warned him first, he’s happy. I’m not allowed to make a doll, or a dragon. What do you think would suit a little girl that isn’t too,well… girly?” Hunith chuckled, “I think that if those are both out of the question, she might conceivably be exposed to falconry, or horses. I’m assuming she is too young for a bow or sword of course.”

“Hmm. Definitely too young for a sword. Falcons I want to show to Merlin first. Horse it is then.”

Hunith leaned down to kiss his cheek. “Who knows, it might be just the first in a long line of horses she loves.”

Shaking his head Balinor tried to cover his amusement, “Don’t encourage her. There is no way my mother is going to subtly nudge Mithian to reach for more than embroidery even if she gifted her a real live bear cub.”  
“Almost definitely not, no, but at least she’ll have a horse for her dolls to ride into the sunset on. Are you going to name it?”

He looked at her bemused, “Name it? Why on earth would I do that?”  
“Didn’t you ever name your toys? Everyone knows they need names.” She stated it as irrefutable fact. “Hunith, I- my toys were a little different, mostly alive, and to give a name to something is a sacred duty. _When dragons hatch they are called from the egg by their Dragonlord by the name we give them. It would feel wrong.”_

“Well then, Merlin or I shall name it once it is finished.” She left him to it, and went to draw Merlin away from the middle of the crowd, as others had begun to congregate nearby.

When she told him about the horse for a little girl Merlin insisted it needed a riding blanket. Arguing with an over excited and tiring child was always frustrating, and Hunith found herself agreeing on the basis that it was just _not_ worth the argument, and picking your battles helped keep a mother sane. She sighed, “and exactly what sort of blanket would this horse need?”

“A warm one.” Counting to ten silently she hoped that whoever Mithian _became_ the _little girl_ appreciated toy horses. “Warm. Of course, do you have any ideas?” His eyes immediately settle on the thick furs. “No.” Merlin opened his mouth to protest, “No, Merlin. That’s for keeping humans warm.”

“No it wasn’t.”

She briefly wondered if there was some way of turning children off just long enough to finish a train of thought. “Perhaps not, but not it is, and it is needed, _not_ by a yet-to-be-finished horse.” He thought. ‘Not to keep people warm’ considerably narrowed his options. He thought back to how blankets were made, since clearly furs were Not Available. Will’s mum had had a hand-loom and wove the wool his mother would spin in the evenings, and he knew that there were some kinds of grass that could be used, but which kind he didn’t know.

He looked at his father in the shadow, and felt the impression of a shape in his mind. Looking seriously up at his Mum, he carefully untied his neckerchief. “He can use this. The girl will make it warm for him.” torn between pride in her son’s selflessness, and frustration at his willingness to destroy property without forethought of consequence, Hunith eyed the small square of cloth critically, wondering if she could just cut a strip off and still use it. The low value of the cloth was obvious, hardly a fit gift for a princess, but with more care than many would be given in jewels of high value. Looking at his solemn face Hunith accepted defeat.

“I’m going to need a needles, and twine.”

Merlin grinned, “I know where! Aine had it out earlier!”

“That’s not for horses _either_ . That’s a healers thing. You may ask when we see one of the women, if they are not busy.” Merlin deflated. Women who weren’t Mum, or maybe Kara, were _always_ busy. ‘Listening’ to them Balinor smiled into his work.

_“You can use it love, She won’t mind. Probably would have offered herself if she hadn’t been needed. I have my own not-fleshy needle.”_  

“Thank you Merlin, it will do well. Perhaps you _should_ name it before it meets it’s true mistress.”

“Not yet. It needs to be ready for a name, not half done or it won’t be right.”

Balinor nodded, pleased, the boy understood, even if Hunith didn’t. “Exactly. We name the creature at its birth, when it is ready for a life of its own.”

Merlin looked intrigued, he’d never been allowed to stay and watch a form emerge from dead wood, it was fascinating. The voices grew quieter around them; or perhaps they only sounded that way. When people were slightly more rested there was a low exchange of news between the others, though Isildur’s attention kept coming back to rest on his friend and the boy Emrys.

When it was close to twilight, Merryn and her daughters joined them, flanked by Kenneth and his wife, and silence fell over them all.

Their obvious sorrow broke the sense of normalcy that had been carefully maintained since the attack, since Balinor had killed an old squire, stripped bodies, Isildur left the body of a friend unburied, and Merryn learned of her husband’s death. Merlin didn’t know who the first one to break the silence was, but there rose up a keen, the sound of loss after the silence, as each began to add their own voice to the song of mourning. His mother’s low tones joined in the cathartic acknowledgement of the losses. It was strange not to be accused of being linked to a death or misfortune, but no-one showed any indication of it, not even directing suspicious looks his way.

Merryn and Aine seemed to be leading the others like an audible dance.

Placing a steadying hand on his shoulder, his father stood, and began to sing, his low tones underpinning the higher. The death song was never the same, but it was always drawn from the same place of grief and pain. “ _Do you wish to understand or do want me to keep the wall intact?”_

Merlin had always wanted to know everything there was to know but he remembered how painful it was to feel _everything, “Show me just a tiny bit?”_ Balinor let a sliver of it through, and stopped as soon as a tear glistened on his son’s cheek. Just one moment too late.

He didn’t like the way everyone could see all the hurt, and he didn’t know them well, he always kept hurts and troubles to himself, only ever sharing them with his mother, so it felt wrong to join in. What he did instead was to walk slowly over to the girl about his size, and hug her. Her voice wasn’t working, it hurt too much from crying all day, but as Merlin let go he stayed beside her and linked their fingers, standing silent and letting her do the same until she found her own raw wail. Devin wasn’t singing or keening either when Merlin saw him, he was sat with a small drum, borrowed from Ken. That was something Merlin could use if he would teach him. His own sadness wasn’t for showing others, he didn’t like to share it and make others feel that way, and most of the things to actually hurt him weren’t fixable.

These people must have a reason though, and his family seemed to understand it. Maybe they just wanted to say goodbye. Merlin didn’t think you could do that after someone stopped breathing, and he didn’t try to keep them here anymore, except for when the knights came, and he forgot, but that was different.

Later, in the full darkness Merlin had fallen asleep in his father’s lap, as those gathered had done around the fire when their energy finally drained fully, and Balinor had put him to bed. Merryn’s cries had quieted to low sorrowful sounds, a mournful lullaby to her daughters, sleeping quietly despite tear stained cheeks, only him and her closest friend keeping vigil with her. When even Isildur had lost consciousness Balinor had taken up his carving again, deciding that making something to bring joy to a little girl was the best way he could honour his friend’s memory.

He finished just before dawn, as Merryn finally found the sweet release of sleep. Placing it to the side to stretch his hands and rub tense muscles he saw a blue riding blanket, made of a well loved neckerchief, with a strap to tie it on. He wondered when Hunith had done it, how he’d missed it; the cloth might be worn, but the stitching was neat, and had one initial stitched in the corner, an elegant ‘M’. Balinor smiled, wondering if it was for Merlin or Mithian.

He could hear the first sounds of wakefulness from their corner.

It was time.

They didn’t have much to gather, and Hunith had developed the habit of being ready to leave without more than a few minutes warning since Merlin’s birth so it was done quickly.

The sunrise painted the land in glorious oranges and pinks, as though inviting him out. Balinor wasn’t accustomed to staying in permanent settlements anymore, not really. Aine knew they were leaving early and had a patient to check on, he knew she would be at their bedside just as Alice had been for the first watch, she’d be awake already.

_“Mum, we have something for you to take with you to the little princess. It’s not a weapon, but I don’t think you can describe it as ‘just for girls’. We’ll come and say goodbye as soon as Merlin is ready. Breakfast outside today I think, they’re all in need of the rest and I don’t want to wake them.”_

_“You mean you don’t want to explain.”_

Her son huffed, rolling his eyes, _“I shouldn’t have to, and no, I have no reason to stay and much for being eager to leave. Not least that Merlin’s_ friend _is scraping against the shield. Whoever she is she’s angry, and scared.”_

_“You do owe them something, some we found along the way, but three came voluntarily for your family, for exceptional circumstances I’ll pass on messages this one time.  That sounds like a sensible kid. A magical child in a world where most will burn her for it? Of course she’s scared.”_

_“No, this is… it feels specific, and she is looking for_ Merlin.” He knew she was thinking in the quiet pause that followed.

_“You know where I am waiting. Wear the brooch if Merlin doesn’t, it will prevent strangers making the connection.”_

That a child was managing to keep a fix on Merlin as he moved worried Aine, and she was unsure how much was the other child reaching for her little warlock boy, and how much was searching for Emrys.

They met the druidess where she waited for them, “Take this to Mithian, Merlin gave her a gift with it.” Tired eyes met her own, and a small voice piped up “Is it a boy or a girl? It’s name is Glad, if it’s a boy. If it’s a girl, she should name it.”

“What do you think Merlin?”

His grandmother smiled gently as he concentrated, “Boy. We can make a girl to go with him later. Maybe when Balinor shows me how.”

He avoided his father’s eyes, realising what he had just said, until a large, steady hand rested on his shoulder, “Of course we can.” Merlin smiled to himself at the warmth in the deep voice.

A warmth that was reflected in the older woman’s tone, “I will miss you.”  
“Come and find us at Gedref, I’m not going to rush things, I want to have a better plan for the longer term and I have a few ideas.  We’ll be there for some time, short of an unforeseen emergency. When Isildur wakes tell him he is to lead Kara and Devin to its perimeter when the child does not need them, it will be a haven for them. I expect he’ll be _annoyed_ at my absence when he rouses, but we really cannot afford to wait for them. We have very few friends left near, but I still have plenty of contacts outside the five kingdoms and favours that I can collect on if needed. It wasn’t worth it for myself, and well, I couldn’t leave ‘Garrah alone like that to suffer. Hunith and Merlin change that, and _this_ he will understand, even if he never _forgives_ me for it.”

He did, she knew, they all had, but Uther had been methodical and renewing old contacts would be risky. Many of those who were key to communicating were removed from power, or simply executed.

_Oh my son, be careful. Albion May let_ you _go, but Merlin is a darling of this land and this Magic. It will not let him go lightly._

Aine nodded, smile bitter-sweet, “I will, I know you’ll take care of them, and I intend to find you once this task is done. If something should _go wrong_ just know I will _always_ love you. No matter what.”   
She knelt down and drew Merlin into an embrace, “I will miss you Merlin, very much, I’m so proud of you! Enjoy the unicorns when you get there, you’ll love them, my favourite was beautiful and white as snow, and go visit the beach, there are rocks there that look like sea creatures as well as waves to play in.”

“I’ll miss you too. Will you come back?” Merlin fidgeted and tightened his arms about his grandmother’s neck.

“Maybe. I hope so, but you can never be certain what’s coming, and that’s ok love. You were my best surprise.” She winked and he beamed in response.

“I’ll save you the best one. Tell the little girl happy birthday? I kept her horse warm until she can.” He looked at it with satisfaction, “I will.” she reached up to gently stroke a soft cheek, “I’m sure she’ll love him.”

 

Not that it was Mithian’s birthday, but Merlin wouldn’t understand giving a child- or anyone- year round presents. Presents beyond particularly nice bugs, or pretty rocks were a little outside his experience, that would change, though not to the way he would have experienced had he been born ten years earlier. Hunith would never let him become invested in material goods though, thankfully, and _time_ meant so much more, especially to the child who had never been given it from others. The druid way of life really was ideally suited to him, but the pressure that would put on him didn’t bear thinking about, to be regarded _openly_ as the saviour of their people wasn’t healthy for someone so young. Aine believed that there was a balance to be struck there with not having him hit with such expectations and demands without any preparation or understanding at all, and raised and shaped specifically for the role without any freedom or true childhood. Druids visited Gedref, but they did not _stay_ there, and it was protected. Dragons had lived there so long, and other magical creatures, that the very land and water itself was like a shield against anyone who would harm the guardians and High Priest. The Blessed Isle has once been similarly protected, but the darkness had tainted that, when the priestesses began to cause harm intentionally the evil became indistinguishable and it was possible for wicked men to breach it’s perimeter now. Fortunately Uther was yet to realise that. Nor likely to since he now only had one magic user - oops, _ex_ -magic user in his court.

She stood to bid farewell to her son’s wife, “Never doubt yourself my daughter, you are strong, and brave, and I am honoured to have you in our family. Look after them, and try not to let _him_ do anything too crazy, I know it’s hard. Dragonlords at any age are enough to drive a woman to drink.” she looked over fondly to them,

“ _May the road rise up to meet you,_

_May the wind be always at your back._

_May the sun shine warm upon your face;_

_the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,_

_may the goddess hold you in the palm of Her hand._

 

Now _go_ , before anyone else _does_ waken _,_ and remember to look forward, not back _.”_

She brushed away to rogue tear that escaped as they left, the adults doing as she asked and Merlin looking back cheekily to wave, giggling when she returned it.

Sighing she turned back to the house and went back to her own work, wrapping the toy carefully and placing it in her pack. Sitting next to her patient her mind wandered to what to do about Merlin scared friend. _His_ well-being was in his parents hands now, and perhaps Anhora, who was keen on ‘tests’ and ‘trials’, but had reluctantly agreed to an age limit that meant Merlin was off-limits for a good few years to come. The ancient guardian certainly had a lot of experience and could answer many of Balinor’s questions if his books couldn’t.

Hunith had a little more understanding of Merlin’s magic now, so would be less likely to accidentally harm him again in efforts to protect him, and Balinor could teach her more in time, hopefully without scaring the woman, though scared she ought to be. It was more than Aine had expected only a week ago, though she had had every intention of taking them to the druids initially; then she had seen the reaction of the druids who had been forewarned and _knew_ who he was. Those who truly tried not to treat his with the instinctive awe he inspired even at such a young age, and still it slipped through, the odd bows or hesitation, the awkwardness one or two had using his _birth_ name. It had shown her the difficulty the majority would have in treating Merlin as the little boy he was. Surrounded by that it would be impossible to hide, the young couple were capable of ‘normality’ with him, she heartily approved of Balinor’s choice of wife there; Isildur needed a cause, a task, but it couldn’t be as part of Emrys’ community until he was grown. He forgot the _person_ sometimes, though she believed that would improve with maturity, much like his impatience, one day he would be a good elder, likely a good leader, if he lived that long. No one took tomorrow for granted these days, even the ones who _weren’t_ magic users, or secret druids.

She was sure she would see her family again, but there was never any knowing when anything would happen these days, and little to be gained by speculating.

 

Balinor, Hunith, and Merlin followed the water, and Merlin’s magic brushed against it cheerfully. “Mum, is it true there’s a beach.” Hunith quickly checked with her husband, “Yes there is love, would you like to see?”

“Yes please. Mum? Are mermaids real? It’s just that one of the story tellers said there were ladies and men who live in the sea, and others who can change and come out on land.”  
“Um, I don’t know. Your father might?”

He looked up, “I’ve never seen one, but there were rumours of a bucca when I was young, and mari-morgens. Never go down to the beach alone, and stay far away from any pretty ladies. Especially if they sing or are combing their hair.”

Merlin felt very confused, “Is combing hair bad? Mum always _makes_ _me do it_.”

“No little bird, it’s only a way to spot some kinds of creatures that might try to steal a person they like away. I’ve not seen one for years though. There are far fewer sea-spirits than fresh water ones. Perhaps they prefer the freedom of deeper water, or maybe they just avoid people. I don’t know. They are not dangerous _because_ they have tidy hair, but some have a bit of a hair-obsession.”   
Girls were silly, thought Merlin. If he lived in the sea he would just let his float, and swish in the current. “So I still have to do mine?”

‘Yes Merlin, you do.”  
The boy huffed, disappointed that the loophole he thought he’d found wouldn’t work.

“Ok. What about baths?”  
“Yes Merlin, you still must have baths, there _is_ some fresh water, and we can _make_ that. We even used to process salt for trading. Well, not me personally, but some of the people who lived here.” Merlin nodded, there were traders who used to come through Ealdor. Sometimes Mum had things they would accept, but there was one man who used to do all the negotiating for the village. They never traded for any of the exotic things, but Merlin managed to see some of the fascinating things by using the techniques Mum had been helping him with to be unseen- not invisible, he wasn’t allowed to try that, and it sounded pretty difficult. After the lecture when he grumbled it would be simpler he was too afraid of getting stuck that way anyway.

With fewer people and restored energy from the rest they moved swiftly, stopping just before noon, when Hunith spotted a decent stand of rhubarb and spring greens, having turned off to follow a smaller river as they got closer to the border of Gedref.

Mentally seeking Hunith’s approval Balinor took Merlin with him down to the bank, and removing his boots and stockings stepped into the slow flowing water. “It’s only up to my ankles here Merlin, you can come in or sit on the bank, my knives are with the boots and in my pack. I told you I’d help you get the intrusions of others emotions and thoughts under control. Now I am sure that you and Will must have played in the streams before, so you have some idea of how to do this, you can try after watching. Do you see these two large rocks?” Merlin nodded, “Yes.”

“Good. these are the corners that mark the _front_ of your mind. Not every stone is going to be useful to build a dam, so we throw away cracked ones and the wrong shapes. They have to be carefully chosen or there will be too  many weak spots and gaps. We layer them, see?” Merlin watched, and slipped into the water, unaware of how his father’s heart soared at the demonstration of trust. “If we neglect to go fully from one corner to another, the next line on top of it will crumble. No matter how small the crack, we can’t ignore it.” He built up a decent enough wall to have it redirect the water. “Now, you can see here that it is stopping the water, but the way it crashes means more of the wall is battered, it’s  working, but it isn’t very efficient, and will eventually fall. It would be simpler and less damaging to change the angle and the way the force hits the barrier. If I was to change the shape for example, to work more naturally with the flow, maybe triangular, it would last longer and be smoother, the cracks would be less vulnerable while we secure them, see? That’s more complicated though, it would be the next step in learning, _after_ the most basic type of wall, and then you’d be more able to find and form bigger rocks with fewer weak points.” Merlin ran his hands over it, and several of the stones melted together, causing steam to rise from the water, which shocked him into stopping, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, it just- I wanted to see how it would be different.”   
Balinor sighed. “I know, but you need to be careful, I’m safe, and your Mum is safe, but you don’t know who else might be watching. Hopefully they’d put it down to me though, because plenty of people know _I_ have _skills._ ”

“Skills?”

_“Magic, little one. In the open it’s not wise to say unless necessary.”_

_“Oh. Ok. I won’t. I’ll be careful.”_

Balinor smiled slightly, wishing he could react the way they used to to demonstrations of innate power. “I know little one.”  
“I’m not little.” Merlin scowled.

“Maybe, but you’re littler than me. It still counts.” Merlin’s disagreement was clear, “Come on, out you get, you still need to drink some water and have some flatbread before we move on.”

Balinor cringed as he saw quite how muddy the boy was at the top of the bank, but ambled after him, drying his feet in the long grass before putting the boots back on, catching Hunith’s eye he knew she’d seen the state of their son. _“He’s happy love, and he came into the water voluntarily. Take the win. I’ve clothes stored away that should fit him if needed.”_

_“I’d still rather he met people looking_ cared for _.”_ He could hear her internal conflict.

_“Love, that’s_ exactly _what he looks like, like someone has been playing with him, he’s smiling. Never worry that he looks uncared for, and while I never made a habit of throwing rank around,_ no-one _here is going to dare pass judgement. Merlin isn’t going to grow up spoiled, or pandered to in some palace, not least because we’d all go crazy, but technically he holds the rank of a minor prince by birthright. I’m not about to tell him that, especially since I’m still avoiding my own. There are some remaining allies, but they couldn’t successfully stand against Camelot at this time, and I will not ask them to throw away the lives of good men and women for pride and anger.”_

Balinor could hear the shock reverberating in his wife’s mind, it wasn’t something he’d planned to explain, but the castle was not subtle, and he absolutely wouldn’t put it past Anhora to sell him out to his chosen mate.

“Let’s go, before he runs off again.” He moved forward and slipped his free hand into hers, squeezing gently. Hunith accepted the silent support and kept in step with him as Merlin ran back and forward, bringing various insect to show them, and returning them to where he found them.

When they finally were nearing the gateway, easily felt to those with magic, but invisible to the physical eye, Balinor called his son over and knelt down, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“The place we are going to enter is different to the other places you’ve been, I don’t want you to talk to any creatures without asking us first. Unicorns are fine, but horses can be very dangerous, so _always_ come and check with us.”

Merlin chewed his lip, frowning in thought. “Ok. What about the birds?”

Balinor’s eyebrows rose “ _What about_ the birds?”

“The ones in the trees watching, and the hawk following us.” The dragonlord winced, not ready to ask about ravens.

“Yes, leave the birds alone, try not to aggravate _them.”_

Hunith frowned, but he wasn’t about to explain _this_ to her right now.

“I can do that. They’re harder to call anyway. I don’t think they really like the ground.”

“Most winged creatures are designed for the skies, I don’t think it’s easy for them to feel tethered.”  
Merlin grinned. “My name is like a bird too.”

His father returned the smile, “Yes Merlin, you are. Who knows, perhaps you’ll find a way to be free one day. Today we’re going to visit somewhere I lived for a while.” His son hummed and pointed in the correct direction, “Over there, someone is waiting to see us. The land is happier here, different.”

“It will be, for now anyway. It’s the magic in it, the Old religion is still welcomed here, which means you and I will feel more… _at home_ and not out of place here.”

Not even Hunith could keep a straight face when Merlin started running in circles ,appearing to calm down just as they reached the gate. Then he was clinging to Balinor’s hand, _“Mum? Is this the new Home you said we were going to find?”_  It wasn’t a question she had an answer for, Hunith wasn’t about to commit to an answer for something so important before she even saw it, and she told her son so.

“Perhaps, I don’t know, we are going to go and visit for longer than we stayed with the others, and we’ll work it out together, whether this is our home or not.”

Merlin chewed his lip thoughtfully. _“I think this is_ my _home Mum. Anywhere that feels_ right _like this can be home, it’s nice, and warm, and not_ stingy _or prickly.It’s alive. Everything is more alive in spring, but this place is extra full of life. Can’t you feel it?”_

It saddened Hunith to realised that no, she couldn’t. It was beautiful for sure, but she couldn’t feel any real _difference_ to a mile back. Cearly her boys could, as some of the tenseness was missing from her husband, despite knowing he was required to face some things that would undoubtedly be stressful.

The joy she saw in Merlin made her heart throb painfully.He had always been a _happy_ child, able to find the good side in almost anything, but he had never been _at ease_ , relaxed. Right now that was exactly what he radiated, _peace_ , even with the overlaid excitability of any small boy.

Passing through the gate together she felt a light barrier and the air shimmered momentarily, then it was gone, as though they had passed a checkpoint and been approved. As they had.

  


Anhora smiled as he saw the travellers approaching. The Dragonlord looking serious and purposeful, and the woman with him clearly relieved and curious. Emrys hadn’t noticed him at all, too busy staring at the white unicorn with a darkly dappled foal, horns glinting in the late afternoon sunlight.

He was actually _twitching_ with the effort not to run up to them, when Hunith turned and released him from his promise to stay with them. “Go on Merlin, you may go and greet them, but be careful not to scare them, especially the little one. They haven’t met you before.”

From the darting and skipping of the foal, he appeared to be having a very similar conversation with _his_ adult.

The second she finished, Merlin was off, he’d never seen a unicorn before, no one in Ealdor had, and he could _feel_ them across the meadow.

Hunith smiled at the open joy that radiated from him, surprised to see a similarly indulgent look on the grown unicorn’s face as her foal sprung off to go play with Emrys; he’d been looking forward to a friend all day and _constantly_ fidgeted and leapt around. Even Anhora hadn’t been able to get him to be still!

“”Will they be safe?” She asked the old man. Guardian? Sorcerer? Whatever he was.

“Oh, this is the safest Merlin has ever been my Lady. In this valley you need not worry for him. The land is- it protects him at all costs.”

Balinor looked awkwardly aside and coughed, “Hello Anhora, it’s been a long time.”

_“It has indeed young man, and you have forgotten your manners.”_

_“I’m only going to_ remember _them if_ you _remember to speak to my wife as you speak with me, as to an equal.”_

There was an awkward pause while the men seemed to be evaluating each other.

“For goodness sake.” Hunith rolled her eyes at the ridiculous posturing.

“You married then?” Anhora seemed honestly surprised, which was rare in itself. He had the ‘mysterious and aloof’ act down to an art form.

“As you can see.” Balinor’s tone held a hint of a challenge as he reached for Hunith’s hand, the Unicorn Keeper’s eyes widened when he took in the unusual rings.

“Welcome Home then Lord Balinor and Lady Hunith.”

Tension began to leave his frame as the magic surrounding them hummed.

As Hunith watched Merlin playing an altered game of tig with a young unicorn, giggling all the while, she began to wonder if there was a lower age limit for the magic-overdose from nature, or if he was just being a normal child. She couldn’t help but laugh when Merlin started spinning in circles and the unicorn foal cocked it’s head to watch before joining in with an attempt to chase its own tail.

_“You have more questions than you wish your Lady to hear to answers of my Lord.”_

_“I do, though I come for more than just information. I wish to know how to protect them both.”_

Anhora looked at him, a wry smile curving his lips _. “The answers will depend entirely on what you wish to protect them from.”_

Balinor glared _, “Enigmatic doesn’t suit you Anhora.”_

_“Perhaps not, but it does suit ‘The Guardian of the unicorns’. As you differentiate between Balinor, and the Last Dragonlord. Although it would seem you now have a role as the guardian of another.”_

Hunith cleared her throat, irritated. “We are wasting time needlessly. Please help me keep him safe. We left with very little, and I am no Lady but I’ve plenty of practical skills. I can heal using herbs and medicine, and can til the fields, I can sew well enough, but we never needed much.  I would like to be of use if there is a place here for us.”

“Of course there is, you will always be welcome here, or indeed in the home of any magical creature not of the Dark forces.”  
“Yes, with regards to that, there is someone watching us periodically, and I don’t think they can stop. There is a complete lack of the control and finesse that I’d expect from anyone with even a modicum of training.”

“Then you need identify them quickly.”

Balinor couldn’t keep the sarcasm from coating his words, “ _Really_ ? Whatever gave you that impression. Being followed always resulted in such _fun_ for me.”

“Merlin is in a great deal of danger if anyone works out who he is, keeping him hidden for now is a good strategy.” Balinor didn’t get a chance to ask what _that_ meant as Hunith hummed,

“Well our village served well enough before I was betrayed. The druids have been very kind to us, especially considering the increased danger of travelling with a child, though they seemed glad to do it.”

“I bet they did” Muttered Anhora,

“What was that?”

“Oh, I just- never in three hundred years met a druid who doesn’t like children.” _Or Emrys._

“So you came here. For protection? To Stay? To make a plan of action.”

Hunith looked at him levelly. “All of those. I do not seek protection for myself but for Merlin, I had no destination in mind when we fled, only a direction _away from_ Camelot’s hatred. The druids found us, likely not by accident, and offered shelter and refuge, I agreed to travelling with them, and would be happy to stay with most of them, but I must confess it is an unfamiliar life, I always have lived in one place, rather than the nomadic way. Then we met Balinor again and things changed again. Merlin has been experiencing some difficulties, and in the past I would have taken him to the cave  and cared for him until it passed, or kept him inside under quarantine for a ‘sickness’.” Balinor cringed, “He claims you can help properly, and to need more information before interfering in case of making things worse.” She waved a hand in Balinor’s direction.

Anhora nodded, “Good. You have seen his mind?” The white eyebrow arched, whether in curiousity or shock Balinor couldn’t tell, the old man had mastered his expressions centuries ago.

_“You have felt his magic then.”_

“You are here for more than to find out who follows you and who to stop them, and not simply for shelter either. What do you know about destiny, Lord Balinor, Lady Hunith.”

“Far too much.” Balinor couldn’t quite keep the deep growl from his tone.  
“Destiny is what someone makes of it, my Lord,” Hunith’s calm voice was soothing, _almost_ easing her mate’s concern.

“Merlin is too young for destiny Anhora.” Balinor held his gaze steadily, folding his arms across his chest.

“That’s not how it works and you know it, there’s no age for gaining a destiny. Times like these ones we live in are defined by heroes, and those around them.”

“Merlin isn’t a hero, he’s a little boy.”

Anhora looked at her quizzically, “So is the unicorn he is playing with. It has no bearing on what he _is._ How you feel will never change this, he has a part to play, as do we all.”

“Then if we all do have a role, a _destiny_  as you say, why is there something special about theirs.” Hunith gestured between the Dragonlord and his heir.

“You already know part of the answer to that, and Lady Hunith, I can offer you no information that would be of use to _you_. What good could coming of knowing what waits in the wings? You trusted your judgement this far and it has guided you well. With Balinor there now to prevent the magic from becoming either wild, or compressed down until he loses control of it, or his own sense of self. Would you wish to change how you raise your son based on possibilities?”

Balinor and Anhora both tried to ignore that she’d done exactly that on the possibility that Merlin could be arrested and either killed or enslaved. That was the past.

Hunith knew herself what had happened.

Anhora let out a piercing whistle and both unicorns cantered back over, the young one wheeling back around to herd his new friend. The white one whinnied an instruction just as Hunith called for Merlin to come back to them, and shared a look with his mother; Hunith felt unsettled by how _sentient_ they’d seemed, how _human_ , and yet it was amusing to have another one who apparently understood her. Creature of magic or not.

As Balinor and Anhora set off, the rest of them fell in behind, Merlin attempting to tell a unicorn colt jokes, and the young one nudging him periodically. They reached the castle by a maze just as the sun began to sink behind the horizon.

“Lord Balinor, welcome home, I believe you can find the right rooms for your family tonight, we will talk properly in the morning, old friend, and find what they wish to do, they can experiment and explore as much as they want- well, as much as is safe. There are clothes for all of you waiting in the master chambers, and the kitchens are stocked. Goodnight My Lord,”

He turned to Hunith and bowed slightly, “My Lady,” and ruffled Merlin’s hair, “Goodnight E-Merlin. I will bring this one back tomorrow.” He waved toward the grey colt, “As long as his mother agrees,” The white one snickered at being mentioned, “Ah. There, he’s allowed to come and play, as long as you both get some sleep.” The old man winked at Hunith and a mist formed as he walked away, and both he and his charges faded.  
  
  



End file.
